Thanks to:
Bex – indeed, the words 'smash' and 'Peter Andre CD' go very, very well together. Thanks for the review! Hope you update soon on your fic
ZK – Whoop! I can't believe how much stuff you posted! So I thought, hey if she's writing loads I may as well put another chapter up. Loving the stories
Cazflibs – here you go, another chappie! Glad you think it's interesting lol.
Hugs to you wonderful reviewers, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry for the shortness, more coming soon.
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"Cat!" Lister shouted, immediately, turning around and running back.
"Lister stop!" Rimmer tried to grasp at Lister's arm as he ran, but missed, slipping over in the brake fluid left by the depressed skutter and pin wheeling into the last human.
"Oof!"
It was then that the lights flickered and went out, plunging the corridor into a murky gloom.
Rimmer got up slowly, dusting the non existent dust from his uniform and squinting, "Lister! Where are you?"
He got no reply, and shivered at the way his voice reverberated around the empty passageway.
"Lister!"
He felt something wet and sticky on his hands, glancing at them in surprise. It was blood; he could see it glistening even through the gloom. Lister's blood. He must have been more injured than he let on. And now he'd gone and legged it off to save Cat like the dim-witted hero he was.
Goit.
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"Get off me evil bud monster! Help! The most gorgeous guy on the ship is getting Catnapped! Do you know the damage he's doing to my sequins! I don't even wanna think about the stitching! It's gonna take hours to dye the lilacs! And what about my sexy crutches with flashy lights that spell out amusing witticisms! He's cramping my style! And his breath stinks! Someone save me! Or at least get him some polos!-"
And so on…
Cat was getting dragged through the corridors complaining loudly about the scuffing of his shoes and other important issues.
The creature who was doing the dragging, as I'm sure you'll all know by now, was intelligent, generously evil, and most importantly hungry.
But it loved to drag out the suspense, as all evil creatures tend to do. So didn't mind going hungry for a little while longer.
It had picked up some gory horror films on its travels (Revenge of the Mutant Zombie Broccoli Soufflé, Death to the rubber duckies, Linda Barker's yoga video, and other such classics) and had decided that the only decent thing to do was kill the victims properly. This meant letting the others scare themselves stupid before the creature ate them.
Monsters had a reputation to live up to after all.
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"Oh! He's been gone for too long!" Kryten said, wringing his hands with worry. "I knew I shouldn't have let him out, what if he encountered something? What if a big monster is digesting him slowly in one of its 7 stomachs?(!)"
"Please, calm down." The mechanoid on his right said, they had named him 'Two' on account of him being the second robot they named. Not very imaginative I know. But they didn't have much time on their hands at the moment.
"Calm down? How can I calm down Two? Mr Lister's gone and it's my entire fault!"
"We'll go and look for them!"
The lights went off. Luckily for them, robot Six had a rather large torch installed in his forehead. He quickly switched it on, and they began the search.
…….
Lister was having regrets about what he was doing right now. Running off with an alien killing machine on the war path, no weapons, and an aching chest with cracked ribs that was bleeding profusely was not the best idea he had come up with.
But he was stuck with it now. No doubt Rimmer had gone off to cower behind a box or something.
Lister stopped for a moment, to get his breath back. Although he wouldn't admit it, the run had taken a lot out of him. The steady throb of his chest was restricting his breathing, and he gasped now, leaning against a wall and forcing air into his lungs.
He squinted.
He could see a light.
No, several lights. Winking at him in the darkness and beckoning him forward with their soft glow. Lister willingly obeyed, not liking the way the darkness enveloped him, his claustrophobia only a hair's breadth away.
He squinted again. The lights were in a strange pattern, but he couldn't make it out yet, so he stepped towards them again. Now he could make them out. The elegant words: 'Rimmer is a smegpot' pinpricked carefully in the darkness before him. He smiled. Either his childish imagination and loss of blood were getting the better of him, or Cat was somewhere nearby. He hoped it was the latter, because the former wasn't looking very appealing right now.
"Cat? Cat, where are you man?"
He could make out the shape of the abandoned crutch on the floor, the lights flashing their message at him chirpily. He picked it up, using the stylish beam to guide his way.
Cat may be a self obsessed feline, but he sure knew how to accessorize.
…….
Rimmer didn't know what to do. He'd already walked quite far down the corridor now, but with no sign of Lister or Cat, he was beginning to wonder whether he should just go and get Kryten.
But no, he couldn't. The mechanoid already thought he was killing off the crew. Rimmer didn't want to think what would happen if he just turned up, covered in Lister's blood, saying that Lister had run off with Cat, into he clutches of some evil monster no one thought existed. No. He'd have to go on alone.
Not a very good idea in the circumstances, but probably for the best.
One of the main thing's wrong with this plan of action was that, both him and Lister were lightly coated in the skutter's brake fluid, Rimmer having slipped in it, and taking Lister with him.
Highly flammable brake fluid I might add. Let's just hope no sparks or flames get anywhere close.
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Please review. ;)
