Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 16

As she sat on the cold tile, Sara was unaware of the tears streaming down her cheeks. She drew her knees up, wrapped her arms around them and rested her forehead there. The thoughts whirling around in her head locked out the physical world. What is Gil going to say? Think? Do? How could this have happened? I've never even thought about having a baby. Well, that's not really true. I'm not a robot. I have maternal instincts – somewhere. I just didn't expect this. I…we…need more time together. As if eleven years isn't enough. Ha! Should've thought about that before Ms. Grissom. Oh God! How am I going to tell him? He has never given any indication that he wants kids. How can people get married and not talk about children? Would it matter? It's not like we did this on purpose. Great, one day somebody will slip up and tell my son that he was an accident. Son? Where did that come from? Stop it Sara! You've got to go tell him.

Through the roaring in her ears, Sara heard the door open. Grissom was kneeling in front of her. Frantic in his desire to make sure she was okay. She raised her tear filled eyes to his and held up her hand.

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"What…? How…? When…?" Grissom couldn't manage to complete a sentence. This could possibly be a first. Gil Grissom, king of the quote, scientist extraordinaire, couldn't form a rational thought. He sank down to lean against the vanity next to Sara, closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. When he opened them again he was calmer. "Is that what I think it is?"

Sara could only nod as the sobs wracked her body. "Oh, God, Griss I'm so sorry. I never went without my patch. I don't understand how this could have happened."

Grissom wrapped his arms around her. His mind couldn't seem to wrap around the idea of Sara being pregnant. As he rocked her in his arms he asked, "Why are you sorry?"

Sara gulped air and said, "Because we never talked about children. Do you want kids? Hell, do I want kids?" Her hands flailed. Her lips trembled. Her voice shook.

Grissom's heart seemed to contract in his chest. Did Sara not want to have his baby? Hard to believe that not once in the past year and a half had they discussed something as fundamental as children. He had just assumed that she would want a child at some point. The thought terrified him and intrigued him at the same time.

Through her sobs Sara managed to choke out, "Please don't be mad."

Grissom leaned back so that he could look into her upturned face. "I'm not mad honey. Why would I be mad?" He pulled her into his chest and ran his hand over her hair, waiting on her sobs to subside.

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Grissom could feel her tears soaking his shirt. He could feel the hard floor underneath him. He could smell the soap Sara had used in the shower. He could do all that but her couldn't wrap his mind around what she had told him. How could she believe that I would be mad at her? It's not like she did it alone. Wait, did she say she doesn't want children? I always thought that she would. I'm the one who's too old, too withdrawn. She is vibrant and loving and would be the best mother. I know that I sat there with my mouth moving, like a fish out of water. No words coming out. Just grunts. I need to tell her I am okay with this. Okay? Hell, I'm happy. Wow, I am happy! Sara is going to have my baby! Right now, there is a little bit of me living inside her. After all the death what better affirmation of life? I love her so much. I don't think I could bear her not wanting this child. How…No! Sara would never do something like that. Never. The woman who cries for victims. The woman who cries for her wasted childhood. The woman who loves me…me of all people…would never take a life. Especially not one she created. Okay, Gil, tell her how in awe you are. Let her know.

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When Sara's tears were spent, Grissom began to speak. His words were tentative at first but gathered strength as he allowed his emotions free reign.

"Sara, I…I don't know what to say. Wait. That's not true." Sara pulled back and opened her mouth to say something. Grissom placed his fingers over her lips, silencing her. "Let me finish." He sat for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I can't tell you that I expected this. Lord knows, I didn't. I know we never talked about having children. I just assumed that you would want to have a baby. Was I wrong?"

"I just assumed that you wouldn't. So, I guess I didn't really think it was an issue." Grissom felt Sara shrug in his embrace.

"Okay. Obviously we should have talked about this." Grissom laid his head back against the vanity and closed his eyes. "I guess it's no longer a matter of want. We are going to have."

Sara raised her head and studied his face. "Are you okay with that Grissom?"

"No. I'm not okay with that." Grissom opened his eyes and saw the pain of betrayal in Sara's eyes. He ran a finger down her cheek, amazed at the softness of her skin. "Okay is not a word I would use."

His eyes were soft. If Sara didn't know better, she would think she saw something close to wonder shining from their blue depths. "What is a word that you would use?" Her voice was barely a whisper. The words trembled on her tongue.

Grissom sat there for what seemed like hours. Finally, he said simply, "Happy. I'm happy."

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Sara was sitting in bed, thumbing through a magazine when Grissom came out of the bathroom. As he slid under the covers he asked, "Did you call the doctor's office?"

"Yep. I have an appointment for next Wednesday at nine." Sara smiled at his relieved look. "Don't worry. I'll go."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"Do you want to?"

Grissom thought for a second before nodding shyly. "Yeah. I think I do."

"Yeah. I think I do too." Sara smiled at him. She leaned in and gave him a very sweet kiss.

When she pulled back Grissom asked, "What made you decide to buy a pregnancy test?"

"Catherine." Sara laughed at his expression. "When she came in the bathroom she asked me when my last period was. I started thinking." She shrugged. "And the rest is history."

"Okay… I'm surprised she hasn't called to find out." Grissom could feel a slight throbbing behind his eyes at the thought of everyone's reaction to this news.

"Should we?" Sara asked.

"Should we what?"

"Call Catherine?" Sara said as if it made perfect sense.

"Why?" Grissom knew this was the beginning of the end. Pretty soon his insular little world would be filled with other people. Babies tended to open the door for things like that.

"Because I'm feeling the urge to tell somebody that'll squeal like a girl." Sara was bouncing up and down like a kid in a candy store. "Come on, I need to tell somebody or I might explode. Imagine how hard that'll be to clean."

"Could I distract you with hot sex?" Sara shook her head. With a smile and a hint of resignation, Grissom said, "Okay." When Sara had dialed Catherine's number he quirked his eyebrow and said, "Put it on speaker phone. I sort of want to hear her squeal too."