Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 18

The tinny sound of an angry baby coming through the speaker on her desk startled Sara. She had been going over the brochures for day care facilities. Her leave was for three months but she knew a decision had to be made soon. Pushing the chair back, she stood and went upstairs to check on Jonathan.

"Hey boo," she cooed to her angry son. "Whatza matter? Huh? Are you hungry?" Sara kept up her silly questions while she changed his diaper and rearranged his clothes. Lifting the crying baby, she said, "Okay, okay, mama's got you. Let's get you a bottle."

Sara made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. With Jonathan snug in the crook of her arm she opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle. Popping it in the microwave she made shushing noises while she waited. After checking the bottle for temperature, Sara laid the nipple against the baby's lips and smiled when he quit fussing and began to suckle.

Sitting down on the couch, Sara studied the baby in her arms. He was three weeks old today. His sparse hair was dark and curly. His eyes were blue but that could always change. His face was round and bore no marked resemblance to either her or Gil. She drew a finger over his delicate eyebrows and stroked his cheek. His skin was so soft that for a second she was jealous. When she felt the tears pricking the backs of her eyes Sara sniffled and laughed at her hormonal state. Jonathan finished his fifth meal of the day – every three hours since midnight – and pursed his milky lips in what his mother liked to think of as a smile. Sara cleaned his face, raised him to her shoulder and began rubbing his back. After a minute he let out a soft burp and snuggled into her.

When Grissom found them, Sara was stretched out on the couch with Jonathan resting on her chest. Both of them were sleeping peacefully. Even though people joked about her not needing sleep it was far from the truth. During the first week she had learned to sleep when there was quiet time. He stood in the doorway and took in the sight before him. The late afternoon sun coming through the blinds cast streaks of light and shadow in the air. The television was tuned to Discovery but had been muted. The remote lay on the floor next to the couch. The empty bottle was on the coffee table. Sara had one arm thrown over her eyes and her other hand lay possessively on the baby's back. Her lips were parted and she huffed out gentle breaths. Just like the first time he laid eyes on his son, Grissom's heart seemed to swell. Gentle warmth spread through his chest and a smile split his face. After another minute, he quietly headed to the kitchen to make coffee.

Grissom was pouring his first cup when he heard Jonathan begin to cry. Heading into the living room, he carefully lifted the squirming baby off Sara's chest just as her eyes fluttered open. "I'll take him. You don't have to get up unless you want coffee."

When Grissom came downstairs with a clean, dry baby, Sara had heated a bottle and was sipping her own cup of coffee. He placed a kiss on her cheek and sat down at the table to give Jonathan his dinner. Sara sat quietly, watching the two men in her life.

Grissom looked up and caught her gaze. With a smile he said, "Why don't you take a shower? I think I can keep an eye on him."

"Okay. I'll be out soon." With a smile she went in search of hot water and clean clothes. When she returned Grissom was cooking dinner. Jonathan was strapped into the bouncy seat and sitting in the middle of the table. Amazingly enough, the baby was asleep again.

"What smells so good?" she asked. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and snuggled into his back.

"I have pan-seared Tilapia with a lemon butter sauce. It should be done in just a few minutes. There's a salad and some rolls. And, for fun, I'm steaming some broccoli." Grissom twisted around until he could pull Sara to his chest. "I love you."

Sara smiled. "I love you too." She stood for a moment inhaling the scent that was purely Grissom. He smelled like soap and sweat and sleep. She raised her head and, using her hands on his neck, pulled him into a kiss. When she would have deepened it he pulled back. Sara was a little puzzled at his obvious reluctance. What's up with that? "Griss, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Grissom said, unable to meet her gaze. "I haven't brushed my teeth and that's never a good thing."

Sara dropped her arms and began taking plates from the cabinet beside the refrigerator. As she went through the motions of setting the table her mind kept going back to Grissom pulling away from her kiss. He's been kind of distant physically since Jonathanwas born. Granted, I don't want to have sex. It might be years before I have enough energy for that. Would a kiss be too much to ask though?

As they ate dinner they talked about work. Sara, the workaholic, was missing the job. She enjoyed hearing about the case Grissom was working and he enjoyed watching her mind work. When they had finished eating Grissom went to shower while Sara cleaned the kitchen. When Grissom came out, he found her in the living room holding Jonathan in the crook of her arm whispering to him and smiling. Jonathan, to his credit, seemed to be hanging on her every word. Sensing Grissom's presence, Sara looked up and smiled. The brilliance nearly took his breath away.

"Come here bugman. Jonathan has a secret to tell you." Sara held out her hand and pulled Grissom down beside her.

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Jonathan was two months old. Time was flying by. In a matter of weeks it would be time for Sara to return to work. But that was merely a blip on the horizon. Right now, she was more concerned with her marriage. As she strode into the diner, with baby and paraphernalia in tow, she looked around for Catherine. Never in a million years did Sara think she would seek out Catherine's help on this matter. However, when she thought about it she had realized it was only logical.

"Hey," Sara said as she waited for the waitress to invert the high chair. "How's it going?" She set Jonathan's carrier on the chair and made sure it was secure.

"I'm good. How're you?" Catherine studied Sara with a practiced eye. Something was bothering the younger woman. "You look good." She truly did. Pregnancy had rounded her. She wasn't as angular and hard. Her breasts were fuller, her hips a little heavier. "Now, give me that baby."

"Thanks. I feel great." Sara grinned as she lifted Jonathan from his seat and passed him to Catherine. She slid into the booth and smiled at her friend. "How's work?"

Catherine nuzzled the wide eyed infant and gave her a five minute run down on the gossip and the politics. When she could take no more waiting, Catherine asked, "What's up? You didn't call me so I could tell you about the people you talk to all the time. Why are we here?"

"Ever the one to lay it all on the table, aren't you?" Sara smiled. "But you're right. I didn't call just to hear about the guys. I need your help."

Catherine felt a little queasy. There could be only one thing Sara would ask her for help about. Grissom. My God, what has that man done now? She waited for Sara to speak.

"I need to know if Grissom is having an affair." Sara couldn't meet Catherine's eyes.

"What? Why?" Catherine spluttered. The idea of Grissom cheating on Sara was so bizarre, so far out of the realm of possibility, that Catherine couldn't wrap her mind around it. Suddenly, understanding dawned and she let out a long Oh.

Sara finally met Catherine's amused gaze. "I'm glad you find this funny. I am terrified that he is…well, you know and you're laughing at me."

"Honey, Gil isn't cheating on you. You should know he is more honorable than that. Not to mention head over heels for you." Catherine reached across the table and covered Sara's hand with one of hers. "Gil has mommy syndrome."

"What?" Sara squeaked. "What is mommy syndrome?"

"I'm sure there is a much more scientific name for it but basically he sees you as the mother of his child and he has lost sight of the 'lover' he had before." Catherine laughed a little and said, "I never had to worry about that with Eddie. He never had enough respect for me to be worried about it."

The look on Sara's face was skeptical. "Are you sure? I mean, uh, we never, uh, had any…" Her voice trailed off and she blushed.

"That was before he saw you give birth. Some men get squicked out at the thought. Know what I mean?" Catherine laughed at Sara's expression. "It's okay. This is fixable."

"How? I can't even get him to kiss me like I'm a girl." Sara's voice was a hiss.

"I have a plan." Catherine said with a smile.

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"Catherine's coming to pick up Jonathan this afternoon," Sara told Grissom on a Saturday morning. Grissom had just come in from work and they were sitting at the table drinking coffee and talking about his day.

"Are you sure we need to do this?" he asked.

"We've already discussed this. She is babysitting because I want to go out to dinner with my husband," Sara said with a smile.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea. What if something goes wrong? What if he gets sick? What if…" Grissom's voice trailed off as Sara covered his lips with her fingertips.

"She has our cell numbers, beeper numbers, and every number known to man. We will be no more than fifteen minutes away. She managed to not kill Lindsay. Relax." Sara smiled at his panic.

"Are you sure? We could take him with us." Grissom couldn't keep the nerves out of his voice. The thought of leaving Jonathan with anyone, even Catherine, worried him on a very deep level.

"Griss, I am with him twenty-four hours a day. Not that I don't love every minute but I need to spend some adult time with you." Sara's eyes pleaded with him. "Besides, Cath would kill us both if we backed out now."

Grissom nodded reluctantly. "Okay. I know it'll be fine. It's just that leaving him worries me."

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While Grissom slept, Sara gathered together everything she thought Jonathan might need for a night at Catherine's. It was amazing at the amount of stuff needed to care for one very small person. She packed diapers and wipes, extra clothes, soap and lotion, powder and blankets. She got his musical bee and the Pak'n'Play. She fixed bottles. By four o'clock she was as ready as she could get. She had just changed Jonathan and was feeding him when the doorbell rang.

"Hey Cath. Lindsay come on in." Sara turned, leaving Catherine to close the door behind them. "I'll be done here in a minute. Have a seat."

"Hey Sara," Lindsay said, sidling over to take a peak at Jonathan. "Can I finish feeding him?"

"Um…sure." Sara hesitated just a second before turning the baby over to the girl. "Have you got him?" Lindsay nodded and went to settle on the couch.

Sara said, "Would either of you like something to drink? I have some water and some juice. Or I could make coffee." Lindsay shook her head but Catherine asked for coffee. Sara went to make coffee and decided to wake Grissom so he could see Jonathan before Catherine took him. Coming back into the living room she said, "It'll be ready in a minute. Gil should be out soon. I wanted to make sure he got to say 'bye."

The women were chatting over coffee and Lindsay was burping the baby when Grissom came in. "Hey Cath. Hey Lindsay, how's it going?" He walked over and sat down beside Lindsay.

"Hey Uncle Gil," Lindsay said with a smile. "I'm so glad you decided to let Jonathan come to our house. I couldn't wait to come pick him up."

Grissom smiled at the girl's excitement. "I hope you're this excited afterwards. Dirty diapers tend to take the fun out of it."

"That's what mom is for," Lindsay replied with a sly look in her eyes.