A/N: I'm really struggling with this. I hope you guys don't think it is as bad as I think it is. Thanks to everyone who's reading.
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.
Chapter 21
Life with a child is a thread of firsts woven through the fabric of everyday life. Grissom and Sara treasured every one of the firsts Jonathan brought to them. His first cry, first bath, first smile, the first time he slept through the night were all recorded on the pages of their memories, to be taken out and examined whenever they needed to recapture the innocence that was their son. When he stood on his own the first time Sara talked of nothing else for a week.
Jonathan was a chubby baby with curly brown hair and huge hazel eyes. He had dimples on his knees and elbows and an adorable dent in his chin. He was crawling everywhere, pulling up on the couches and tables. There wasn't a remote or phone in the house that hadn't been baptized with slobber.
The perpetrator was currently crawling on top of his father who was spread-eagle on the floor. Sara was laughing at Jonathan's dominance over the big man. He tugged at Grissom's beard, pulled his nose and ears and pulled at the watch encircling Grissom's wrist. Her heart melted when Grissom lifted Jonathan up and blew raspberries on his soft belly bringing on a spate of baby giggles.
Sliding down to join them, Sara scooped Jonathan off Grissom's chest and tossed him in the air. She turned him around and placed his feet on the floor. His tiny fists were wrapped around her fingers and he bounced up and down in excitement. Grissom twisted around until he was sitting up.
He held out his hands and said, "Come on Jonathan. Come to daddy."
With Sara's help, Jonathan took one wide swinging step toward Grissom and then another. Suddenly he released his grip on Sara's fingers. He stood there with his arms raised and his eyes wide with surprise. Then, as if realizing what he was doing, he sat down. While Sara and Grissom stared, wide-eyed, Jonathan giggled and clapped his hands.
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Jonathan took his first step while his mother was reading a forensic journal. Jonathan was standing in the middle of the room with his favorite stuffed bug in his hands. When Grissom walked through the door from the kitchen and called his name, he turned his head and, eyes bright, took a couple of halting steps in that direction.
"Sara," Grissom said, "did you see that?"
She lifted her eyes and asked, "See what?"
"He walked." Grissom hurried to scoop the boy up and kiss his cheek. "He took two steps."
"What?" Sara's expression was woebegone. She had been ten feet away and missed Jonathan's first steps. "I can't believe I missed it. I've been waiting and waiting. Put him down. See if he'll do it again."
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For Jonathan's first birthday Nick, Warrick, Greg, Catherine, Lindsay and Brass gathered at the Grissom's house for a cookout. There were a couple of people from day shift and a couple from Jonathan's day care that Sara had invited. The only ones missing were Olivia and Tina. The former couldn't make the trip. No explanation was offered for the latter.
As Sara came out the back door with a bowl of potato salad she paused for a moment to take in the strange group. Her eyes fell on Nick and Warrick. The two were camped out in lawn chairs under the only tree big enough to provide shade, each holding a sweating bottle of beer. Warrick was laughing at something Nick had said and the throaty sound caught Greg's attention. She watched him amble, as much as Greg could amble, in the direction of his friends with Lindsay trailing behind. With a smile, she let her focus drift to Grissom and Brass. They were manning the grill, cooking burgers, hot dogs and veggie kabobs. Brass said something, probably something snarky, which caused Grissom to smirk before he picked up his own beer for a drink.
"Sara," Catherine said. "Everything okay?" She was bouncing Jonathan on her hip and chatting with Susan from days.
Sara smiled, nodded and continued down the steps to place the bowl on the table and pick up the camera she had left there. Determined to take pictures of this day she began a slow circuit of all the guests. She checked on Jocelyn and the two mothers from daycare, Vivian and Nicole. They each had a baby bouncing on their laps while they watched their three year olds run in small circles. Wandering over she monitored the progress at the grill. She made her way out to talk to the guys for a few minutes. Hearing Jonathan begin to fuss she went back to make sure Catherine had everything under control.
When the food had been consumed and presents opened it was time for cake. Sara brought out the small cake for Jonathan. It was chocolate and decorated with caterpillars. The big #1 candle was lit and, after a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday, Grissom helped to blow it out. Sara snapped a picture of their identical expressions of delight.
After Jonathan had been put to bed, Sara and Grissom were curled up on the couch relishing the quiet. Snuggled against her husband, Sara said, "It was a really good day, huh?"
"Yeah, it was. I think everyone had a good time." Grissom grinned.
"Lindsay has a crush on Greg." Sara felt Grissom gasp and she chuckled.
"Lindsay isn't old enough to have a crush on Greg. She's just a kid."
"She's fourteen, Gil. She's not a kid." Sara paused for a second. "Don't worry he knows. He's very good with her."
"Please don't tell me I'm going to have to kill Sanders. I'm just starting to like him."
Sara giggled at Grissom's protectiveness. "No. He doesn't encourage her. He's too afraid of Catherine." Sara let her mind wander for a minute. What would it be like to see Grissom with a daughter? She could see him with a dark haired, blue eyed, gap toothed little girl clinging to his neck.
Her reverie was broken when Grissom asked, "What are we going to do with all that stuff?"
Sara chuckled, "I know. When will he ever play with it all? He has too much now. You realize he is spoiled and it really isn't our fault."
"Catherine makes sure of it. And Brass is almost as bad." Grissom shook his head and grew quiet.
Sara twisted her head around to look at him. "What is it Griss? What are you thinking about?"
Grissom looked uncomfortable for a second before saying, "You know how to keep Jonathan from becoming too spoiled?"
Sara said, "You can't tell them not to do it. It would break their hearts."
"Sara, that's not what I was thinking."
"Then what?" Sara's brow furrowed in confusion.
Grissom quietly said, "We could have another baby."
Sara sat up and yelped. "What did you say?" Her eyes were wide and her mouth gaped open.
"Never mind." Grissom stood and walked over to look out the door into the night.
After a minute, Sara moved to stand beside him. "Why did you say never mind?"
"Didn't seem like such a good idea considering your reaction. It was just a thought. Don't worry about it." Grissom never turned his gaze from the darkness outside.
Laying her hand on his arm, Sara said, "Look at me. Please." When he turned his head, she continued, "I don't know what to say. I just didn't expect that to come out of your mouth. I would love to see you with a little girl." Sara squeezed his hand. "I can't imagine anything more wonderful than having another child – with you."
"Sara," Grissom said quietly, "I don't want to push you on this. I just looked around today and realized that Jonathan isn't going to be a baby for much longer. I enjoy having a baby in the house." He broke off with a shrug.
"Oh, Griss, you are a constant surprise." Sara reached up and cupped his cheek in her palm. "Jonathan is the best thing I've ever done. Why wouldn't I jump at a chance to do it again?"
Bending his head Grissom kissed his wife. The pressure of his lips on hers was soft and sweet. Pulling back he said, "I love you."
"And I love you."
When Grissom nuzzled her neck and whispered, "Let's start right now," Sara laughed and pulled him in for another kiss.
