Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.
Chapter 23
Grissom stormed through the lab, his eyebrows drawn together in scowl so intimidating that mere mortals scrambled to avoid his wrath. He went into his office and slammed the door, taking petty satisfaction in the rattling glass. He dropped into his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel the headache starting behind his right eye. He winced when he heard the door open.
Without looking up he snapped at the unfortunate soul who had invaded his space. "What!"
"Everything okay?" Jim asked. Eyeing his friend with equal parts curiosity and amusement, Jim took a seat.
"Does it look like everything is okay?" Grissom bit out. "No, everything is not okay."
"Want to talk about it?"
"Nope. Nothing to talk about."
"Okay. Well, if you change your mind I'll be wandering the halls warning everyone away." Jim stood and walked to the door. Pausing, he said, "If this is about work, fine. If this is personal then you need to leave it out of the lab."
"Did Sara call you?" Grissom asked his voice dangerously low.
"She didn't have to." With that he left the office, pulling the door closed behind him.
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Grissom could hear laughter coming from the break room. The sound made his already strained nerves stretch to the point of snapping. He cleared the doorway and slapped the paperwork he had been carrying down on the table. "Gentlemen, we have a fairly busy night. I need everyone to get their minds on the job."
Ignoring the looks that passed between Nick, Warrick and Greg he continued. "Greg, you're with Nick. There's a body at the Bellagio. Warrick, I need you on trick roll at the Four Aces. Judd, you're with me. There's a body with bugs out past Henderson." Handing out the assignment slips he started out the door. "Warrick," he called back, "when you're done you can join us."
Judd, the new guy hired when Sara moved to days, was the first to speak. "What's wrong with the big guy?"
When Warrick and Nick shrugged, Greg mumbled, "It's gonna be a long night."
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Sara's emotions vacillated between anger and hurt. She knew that she had pushed Grissom when she shouldn't have. She knew that her desire to give him the baby they both wanted was making her crazy. She couldn't imagine how women rode this particular emotional rollercoaster for years. A handful of months were turning her into a basket case. Her mind was running a thousand miles a minute as she lay on the bed where she had practicallybegged Grissom to have sex.
How pathetic can you get, Sara? 'Just five minutes'? What the hell was that? But Hank? Why would he bring up Hank? Why are men so freakishly insecure? Do all men feel that who they are is determined by their ability to achieve an erection? Honestly, I'm the one who can't conceive and do I get pissed off and scream about that psycho dominatrix. No. I try to forget she exists. Wonder who's running her freak show while she's in jail? Aw shit, who cares?
She dragged herself off the bed and made her way upstairs. Standing over Jonathan's crib she felt the tears welling again. Swiping roughly at her cheeks she drew a shaky breath and steeled herself against anymore self pity. Brushing Jonathan's curls off his forehead she straightened his blanket and made her way back downstairs. Wearily, she undressed and slipped between the sheets only to be surrounded by the scent of Grissom. After trying, unsuccessfully, to read the latest journal article on blood spatter she gave up and began wandering through the house. This wasn't their first argument. It wasn't even the worst. It was just the first time in almost four years that Grissom had left without kissing her good-bye and it hurt more than she wanted to admit.
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It was just after five a.m. when Grissom headed back to the lab. Hours of bending, squatting, tagging and bagging had not improved his surly disposition. The fact that the case brought back memories of Kay Shelton, and by association Sara, didn't help matters. He was looking forward to seeing Jonathan before heading home to get some sleep. He still wasn't ready to face Sara.
Grissom was in the layout room with evidence spread all around him when he heard them coming. Well, actually, he heard Jonathan and the smile that split his face was the first in almost twelve hours.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Jonathan's shrieks of delight could be heard all over the lab.
Grissom removed his gloves and stepped into the hallway to see a two foot whirlwind wriggle from his mother's grasp and run in his direction. Scooping the little boy up into his arms, he said, "Hey, little man. How's it going?"
Placing his tiny hands on either side of Grissom's face, Jonathan said, "Ub ooo daddy."
"I love you too, little man." Grissom hugged the wriggling toddler to his chest. Catching sight of Sara he said, "Hey."
"Hey," she said her voice cold. "Are you at a stopping point? If not, I'll take him to the break room."
"I need about ten minutes but you can stay if you want." Grissom said quietly, taking in the dark circles under her eyes, before turning and walking off.
Sara followed. "You don't have anything in here he shouldn't see do you?"
"Please give me a little credit. All I have in here is a blanket."
"Sorry." Sara said quickly. She knew that Grissom wouldn't expose Jonathan to anything he didn't need to see. "Here, I'll take him so you can finish." Sara lifted Jonathan from Grissom's arms and stood back.
Grissom worked quickly, the silence broken only by Jonathan's chatter. He folded the blanket and placed it carefully in the paper bag that it had been transported in. Folding the top over, he sealed, dated and initialed the bag. He methodically collected the trace that had fallen onto the table; placing it in bindles and carefully labeling it.
Sara broke the silence. "I'm going to be late for assignments. Why don't I take him to the break room and you can come get him when you're done?"
Grissom nodded. "I'll be there in just a few minutes." Looking up, he said, "Sara…"
"Not now Griss. I've got to get to work." Sara looked at Jonathan and said, "Tell Daddy bye-bye." Turning on her heel she walked out the door.
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Grissom waited in the hall outside the break room until first shift had received their assignments. When Sara emerged he motioned her to the side. "I'm ready to go. Is Jonathan's bag in my car?" he asked.
"Yeah. I put it on the passenger's seat." Sara placed a kiss on Jonathan's cheek before handing him over to Grissom. "I'm going to run by the grocery store on the way home. Anything you want me to pick up?"
"Nothing I can think of. You know what I like." Grissom worked Jonathan's fingers free of his beard.
"Okay then. If I'm going to be later than five I'll call you." Sara gave Grissom a tight smile and gave Jonathan's cheek another peck. "See you later, sweetheart." With that she turned and left Grissom staring after her as she strode down the hall.
"Gil, my friend," Brass called as he walked up. "Jonathan, come see Uncle Jimmy." Brass held out his hands and Jonathan reached for him.
"Jim, I'm…uh…I'm sorry about earlier." Grissom tore his eyes away from the empty space where Sara had been.
"Hey. No apology necessary. At least not to me." Brass studied his friend's face and said, "Screwed it up that bad, huh?"
"She's still speaking to me – barely," Grissom replied.
"Want to grab some food. Tell Uncle Jimmy all about it."
After a moment, Grissom heaved a sigh and said, "Yeah. Why not?"
It was the first time, in a very long time, Brass had been surprised. "Okay. Meet me at the diner in fifteen?"
"Sure," Grissom said, reaching for his son. "I need to pack up my briefcase. I'll take Jonathan to daycare after we're done."
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One vegetarian omelet and two cups of decaf later, Grissom found himself relating his tale to Jim. "Sara and I are trying to have another baby."
"That's great! Who would have thought that you guys would have one much less try for a second?" Jim's enthusiasm waned when he saw Grissom wince. "I guess this is what the argument was about."
"In a round about way." Grissom took a sip of coffee and wished desperately that there was something stronger in the cup. "It's not going as well as Sara had hoped.
Brass nodded and said, "I guess that means you've been having a lot of fun." He smirked at the other man's discomfort. "It's okay. I do know where babies come from."
"I sort of had that figured out." Grissom's hand shot out and caught Jonathan's sippy-cup before it could hit the floor. "Don't throw your cup Jonathan." Placing it just out of the toddler's reach he dug through the bag and pulled out wipes. While cleaning pancake and syrup from Jonathan's hands and face he continued, "What do you know about fertility?"
"Honestly? Only what you see on the movie of the week."
"Well, just let me say, when sex becomes a science experiment it can cease to be fun. You should see our bathroom counter." Grissom was shaking his head when the waitress came over and offered more coffee. When she left, Grissom said, "I worked a double yesterday and didn't get to sleep until after four. About eight, I woke up with Sara's hand…uh...well you get the picture."
When Brass nodded, Grissom spilled out the rest of the tale. As soon as the name Hank left his mouth Brass interrupted. "Why, in the name of all that's holy, would you bring that up?"
"I don't know. I just opened my mouth and it came out." Grissom lifted a fussy Jonathan out of the high chair and settled him on his lap. Giving him a spoon to play with, he said, "That's not all. I told her she would be better off not married and then I left."
"Oh man, you really did it. You incurred the wrath of Sara and everybody knows not to do that." Brass smiled and said, "So what were you mad about? Being woken up and forced to have sex with your incredible wife? Hearing her apologize for disturbing your sleep for her little 'science experiment'? I'm not sure I see the problem."
"No. I wasn't mad about any of that."
"Oh…I get it. Dammit, Gil, you're not twenty, or even thirty, anymore. But under those conditions it could happen to anyone."
"Has it ever happened to you?"
Brass sat for a moment before answering. "I want you to know I wouldn't admit this to just anyone. But, since we're playing true confession, yeah it has. After I found out the ex-wife was pregnant and we had decided to 'work it out'. I just couldn't. I thought I was over it but I wasn't." Brass shrugged and looked a little embarrassed. "So obviously age has nothing to do with it. That was over twenty years ago."
"What did you do? How did you…?" Grissom's voice trailed off.
"Gil, I would suggest you go home, get some sleep and before you head to work tonight grovel. Then, if she chooses to forgive you, make love to your wife. There's nothing for you to worry about."
"Thanks, Jim." Grissom appeared equal parts relieved and embarrassed.
"No problem, my friend, no problem." Brass stood and lifted Jonathan out of Grissom's arms. "But, for my sage advice, you can buy my breakfast. Come on, Jonathan, let's wait outside for your dad."
