(A/N: Wow! Well it seems by your responses that you like the idea of Akane getting paired up with one of the G-Boys! SO BE IT THEN! And with that little snippit in your heads, ON WITH THE FICCY!)
Wufei awoke to his head feeling like was trying to split itself in two, a strange pressure on his chest and the knowledge he was only dressed from the waist up.
"Awake are we?" a cold, female voice snorted, "'bout time, ya lush."
Wufei tried to sit up, only to have himself pushed beck to the floor by the small, female foot on his chest.
Akane's foot.
"I don't suggest ya do that, drunky." Akane drawled, lighting up one of her trademark Mild Seven cigarettes, "Thing One's already givin' his offerin' to th' porcelain god down the hall and Thing Two's offering his prayers to the one further down. I doubtcha could make it up a flight a stairs…"
(A/N: Thing One- Heero; Thing Two- Trowa)
She trailed off, staring at the ceiling.
"But lets see ya try anyway!" Akane grinned wicked, jerking Wufei violently to his feet.
The Chinese Gundam pilot felt his stomach churn like he had gone several rounds on the Zipper (1) as he dashed up the stairs.
Quatre saw a black haired blur shoot past him and into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind it with a click.
"What in the world?" he blinked, absolutely bewildered until he heard the retching sounds from within.
"Woofer?" Duo asked, coming up behind the blonde Arab, "Y' okay?"
The sound of loud puking was the only response.
"Okay." Duo said, "We'll be downstairs."
"Thank goodness his hair is in a ponytail." Quatre breathed as they walked down the stairs.
"Uh-huh." Duo nodded, "The only one man enough ta hold your hair and watch you puke is a mom."
Akane was in the kitchen reading the newspaper and drinking coffee with her cigarette hand.
How she managed to avoid getting ash in her latte' was a mystery.
Quatre saw the time on the wall clock behind her.
7:43 A.M.
"Um…aren't you late for school?" he asked tentatively.
Focused on her reading, she absentmindedly shook her head.
"Mm-mm." She murmured, turning the page, "Got two weeks off."
"Huh?" Duo blinked in surprised, "When did that happen?"
-pwik…pwikpwik-
"While we were out." Akane growled, trying to focus on her reading, doing her best to block them out.
"Who called in for you?" Quatre inquired curiously, "Was it Takaomi? Or was it Suo?"
-pwikpwikpikpwikpwik-
"S-S-Suo." Akane managed, trying not to rip the newspaper in half out of rage that was currently spider-webbing its way throughout her body.
"Huh…why'd he do that?" Duo asked.
-SNAP- (Bye-bye Akane's patience! Bye-Bye!)
Faster than you can spell "P.M.S." (which stands for, Pass Me my Shotgun), Akane was beating Duo over the head with the rolled-up newspaper she had been reading only seconds before.
"WOULD YOU SHOW SOME COURTESY AND SHUDDUP WHEN SOMEONE'S READIN' YA UNBUHLIEVABLE ASS?" She screamed, "YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP! THAT'S ALL YOU EVER DO! DAMMIT! WHERE'S YOUR OFF BUTTON!"
In the next room, Mannen tsked.
"Damn…she wins." he grumbled.
"I guess she CAN go for two minutes without beatin' th' tar out of'em." Takaomi nodded.
-One Hour Later…-
Akane was sitting on the couch in Takaomi's lap, Takaomi himself employing the same method of restraint as implemented in chapter 16of I.H.E.A.Y.B.W.J.L.Y.
She looked twelve different kinds of pissed while Kazuo petted her hair as Mannen and Suo explained what was to happen in the next two weeks and what role she was to play.
"Alright, gents." Suo smiled, pointing to his youngest sibling, "Here's the plan! What are your dreams? Where are some places you've wanted to go? Some things you've wanted to do but never had the time?"
"As long as they aren't too fantastical, we'll make it happen!" Mannen grinned, "With the help of your Fairy Godmother, Monke-!"
-FWUD-
"What was THAT?" Akane snarled, statuary still in hand.
"I mean Akane!" Mannen snickered sarcastically, holding his head.
Takaomi extracted the now fractured statue from her hand and restrained her arms again.
"Now, now." Takaomi scolded, "No killing family."
Akane then eyed Wufei and Trowa.
Takaomi caught her bloodlusty stare and shook his head smirking.
"Not them either." He said quickly.
She shifted her gaze to Quatre.
"Or him, Shorty." Kazuo sighed.
She moved her gaze to Duo and Heero.
"Give it up, Thunder Thighs." Takaomi smirked.
Akane scowled up at him through sulky lilac eyes.
"You're no fun at all, Shrek." She grumbled.
"Shove it." Kazuo snorted up at her (he's sitting on the floor)
"So, what's up first boys?" Suo asked.
"Yeah, whaddya wanna do first?" Mannen asked.
"New Zealand." Quatre said quickly.
The rest of the G-Boys stared at him, causing the blonde Arab to blush.
"W-well it's just that…its just I…" Quatre stammered, "I've always wanted to go swimming there. And wind surfing always looked...interesting, and-"
Takaomi grinned and held up a hand.
"Save your breath!" he chuckled.
"No need for explanations!" Kazuo laughed, "Okay! First stop is New Zealand. What's next?"
"Ireland!" Duo whooped, "Gotta visit me some breweries!"
"Now that's a trip I fully intend ta tag along on!" Mannen smirked.
"Same here!" Suo snickered.
"Don't forget about us!" Takaomi and Kazuo grinned.
Akane would never admit it, but she was inwardly doing a dance at the prospects of going hog wild in an Irish brewery (Hide yer hops laddies!)
"Alrighty." Takaomi smiled, "And after Ireland?"
"Paris." Trowa murmured, "There are some art galleries I'd like to visit."
"And some wineries I'd like to visit." Akane thought to herself, "After two weeks with you, I'm gonna be thankful I'm legal over there…and even if I wasn't…it's not like it's gonna slow me down any."
(A/N: Actually, the legal drinking age in France is 16, Akane, in case you forgot, which it appears you did!)
"Sounds fair enough." Suo nodded, "Heero? Anywhere you wanna go?"
"…Madagascar." He muttered.
"Cool idea!" Kazuo cried.
"Safaaaaaari!" Mannen whooped.
"…dorks." Akane snorted.
"'kay, Wu-man!" Duo grinned, "That leaves you! Wheredya wanna go?"
Wufei looked thoughtful and tapped his chin.
"Switzerland." Wufei responded.
"Gotta skiing jones?" Takaomi snickered.
Wufei pinkened slightly.
"What of it?" he snapped.
"Nothing…nothing…" Mannen taunted.
"…retard." Akane grumbled snidely in Takaomi's grip.
"So it's settled then." Suo said, clapping his hands together, "Akane will act as apersonal assistantof sorts when you go to the countries of your choice. She will ensure you get what you need, when you need it."
"NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE!" Akane cried, "I'm in th' middle of a huge turf war with that cheap whore, Genbu! I can't just leave! Besides, if you expect me to bend and scrape to these Animanga FREAKSHOWS, then think again, dipshit!"
"You won't be alone, ya know." Takaomi said with a grin.
"THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!" she shrieked.
"It's not like you'd be forced to act like a servant." Mannen smiled, ruffling her hair.
Akane glared.
"Don't you ever speak of that bitch again." She spat. (her mom: abusive slut)
"It was an accident, Monkey." Suo smiled, "Forgive him."
Akane stuck her tongue out at him.
"BLEH! Don't wanna!" she said childishly.
The G-Boys exchanged looks.
The trip hadn't even started yet and it was already felt like they had jet lag.
"Let the fun begin." Duo grinned.
-Later That Day...-
"Oh WOW!" Sora squealed as the plane passed over the crystal clear waters, "It's soooooo pretty!"
"I can-NOT believe we're here!" Hinode squealed, "Suo's never spoiled us like THIS before!"
"YOU call it spoiling." Akane grumbled, "I call it torture."
"Why're you sucha downer?" Duo asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Why're you sucha retard?" Akane growled back.
"Downer."
"Retard."
"Downer!"
"RETARD!"
"DOWNER!"
Growling ferally, Akane ground her lit cigarette outon Duo hand.
"YAYAYAAAUGH!" He yelped, blowing on his hand frantically.
"I'm aiming for your eye next." she snarled.
"Duo-chan!" Hinode cried.
"Are you okay?" Sora asked tearfully.
"Aww, I'll be okay!" Duo grinned.
"I knew it." Akane snorted, watching as the braided pilot of Gundam Deathscythe played it off like she DIDN'T just put out her cigarette on the back of his hand,"Whadda drama queen."
-DNN-
"Passangers, please fasten your seat belts." the pilot of Suo's private jet said pleasantly, "We will be landing in Auckland shortly."
Quatre's eyes sparkled with anticipation.
"New Zealand...here we are."
(A/N: Quatre tries wind surfing. Wufei goes Para sailing! Akane shirks off in her duties and The G-Boys see Akane scars for the first time! R&R)
