(A/N: Hey. Wish I could say I was in a better mood. Ijust found out today that my friend of 6 yrs., Brady Coates, has passed away. I'm still in complete shock. So this chapter is dedicted to his humorous spirit. May you rest in peace, Brady.)
(R.I.P.-Brady Coates 1987-2006)
"WAK! It's FREEZING!" Sora squealed as a gust of wind picked up and blew against her harshly.
"Why does it hafta be so fricken cold?" Hinode cried, shivering violently.
"Well, hm, lemme think." Akane said sardonically, tapping her chin in a mocking gesture of thought, "Could it be that we're in SWITZERLAND YOU 'TARDS?"
"Wow, someone's really not a morning person." Duo thought, rolling his eyes and shifting the heavy snow gear on his back to a more comfortable position.
They had arrived in Switzerland at 9 o'clock the previous evening and crashed the minute they had walked through the doors of the hotel.
He had not been surprised when early that morning, after Mannen had woken his youngest sibling with a handful of snow down the back of the shirt, that she had been sent spiraling into a dimensionl of pissed off that he hadn't thought humanly possible.
His work load, naturally was ten times what it had been.
"Ease up there, Monkey." Suo said good naturedly, not bothering to take any of his equipment back from the braided pilot..
"Don't. Tell. Me. What. To. Do." She hissed, eyes flashing, enunciating each syllable, only an inch away from her eldest sib's nose, "And, DON'T. Call. ME. Monkey."
"Lemme guess, sis." Takaomi smirked, rubbing her head, "You ran outta cigs?"
"Back in Paris." She grumbled.
"Oh well." Takaomi grinned, "This works out great. We can quit t'gether! I won't hafta suffer alone!"
Akane shot her elder sibling a glare that could kill a man.
"Kindly kiss off and DIE!" she snarled, "Th' minute we're back in Japan, I'm restockin'."
As she stormed ahead, Kazuo whispered to Takaomi:
"Worry not. Her smokin' days are done."
Wufei, as it turned out, was a very good skier, and was up on the more professional slopes with Trowa.
The pair were gathering quite a crowd of female followers…as well as a crowd of angry boyfriends, pissed that they were leading their girlfriends astray.
What resulted was three hour chase ending with a mob of extremely ticked off girls beating the crap out of their boyfriends for even thinking of harming the bishies.
Sora and Hinode, having never skied before, trudged to the Bunny Slopes with Duo for lessons (as well as protection)
"AWP! Aw dang it!" Sora cried as her feet slid out from under her and she landed on her butt for the ump-teenth time.
"Hey babe, need a little help?" a local asked her sweeping her off the ground and onto her feet.
"Huh?" Hinode blinked as another local came up behind her.
"You two look like you could like you could use lessons." The new arrival grinned, "We could teach you…if ya like."
"Really?" Sora asked.
Duo's mind replayed Akane's earlier threat.
-"If anything happens to them, you die. If anyone TOUCHES them you die. If anyone-!"-
You get the idea.
So Duo, acting quickly, managed to locate the native boy's girlfriends (don't ask how) and after being alerted to their boyfriends lascivious ways they stormed over, grabbed them by the ears and hauled them off.
"Huh…what was that about?" The Otaku Twins wondered.
Relena wanted to play in the snow, rather than ski on it, and by association, Heero was dragged along even though he really wanted to try snowboarding with the Effed Up Foursome and Quatre (hey, every now and then that boy suprises ya)
So now Heero was trapped at a snowbank located near the lodge, building a snowman with his girlfriend.
Damn he must love her.
Akane had decided to forgo skiing in favor of snowmobiling.
She zipped along, narrowly avoiding trees and boulders, enjoying the rush of the "I-Could-Die" experience.
This all came to a screeching halt when she hit an unexpected hairpin turn and flew head over feet into a snowbank twenty feet away.
She lay there, staring at the sky for a moment or two.
"WOO HOO!" she whooped leaping to her feet, "Who's up fer round two?"
-Later That Evening…-
"MUAHAHA!" Mannen howled, continuing to punch combos into the controller, "BOW DOWN AND KISSH MAH FEET BITCH!"
"IT AINT OVER YET BASHTARD!" Wufei roared, having no idea what he was doing and sending Eddie Gordo flipping wildly through the air as he and the 19 yr.old played TEKKEN.
Everyone was currently very drunk and doing random shit.
Relena and Heero were making out in the closet after imbibing three fingers of tequila.
It had been very interesting, watching them move from the sofa…to the floor…to a chair…to a table…THEN to the the closet.
Quatre was asleep…UPSIDE down…on the chair Heero and Relena had previously been making out in, his feet in the air, drool running down his face and a open bottle of scotch in his hand.
Trowa, Kazuo, Suo, Hinode and Sora were in a very loud argument over anime (yes, the boys have begun to enlighten themselves on such matters during their vaca)
"I DUN -hic- DUN CARE WHUD YEW SHAY!" Trowa yelled, waving his beer filled hand wildly around, nearly whacking Kazuo across the face, "G-GOKU…KICKSH ASSH!"
"G-Goku'sh a LEWSHER!" Sora shouted back sloppily, taking another swig, "Buh-Be'erman cood- hic- wipe th' FLOOR wid'em!"
"SHCREEEW BEDDERMAN!" Kazuo bellow, shaking a bottle filled fist, sloshing liquor everywhere( he and Suu have been drinking since four, so…), "BIG -hic- BIG O ROOLZ!"
"YOU T-hic-TARD!" Suo roared, "NO WUN C'N OUT FIGHT OPT'MUS PRIME!"
Duo was nearing th point of drunkeness were you get moments of clarity.
But the clarity he was getting wasn't the kind he wanted.
"Dammit it." he thought angrily to himself, taking a deep drag from his bottle of beer, "I reeeeeally hate you, you bitch."
He was currently staring at Akane, who was very close to passing out (she's been drinking since 2), a sleepy smile on her face.
"Always P.O.ed with everything." He mused heatedly, "Always to the extreme with everything. When she's angry, she's ANNNNNN-GREE. Tch. Th' ass."
He continued to stare and Akane chose that exact moment to glance up.
Caught.
Incredibly drunk she crawled over to him and rested her head on his thighs, staring up at him.
He gazed down at her, truly annoyed.
"What?" he snapped.
"Dyou 'ate me?" she asked, point at herself while maintaining her grip on her bottle of J.D. (Jack Daniels).
Duo cocked his head, not honoring her with a response, but instead giving her a look that clearly said, 'Could you move your head? Please? NOW?'
That was all she needed apparently.
"Thah' sho." She nodded, smiling again, "I figured 's much...oh -hic- well." (remember, wwhen she drinks, her personality 180's)
Her eyelids slid to half mast
"Maybe if you had met me shober, youd've liked me." Akane slurred out drunkenly before passing out.
"Shit…" Duo growled, running his fingers through his bangs roughly, "Yer c'mpletely cluelessh…s'alright tho'. I don't wanchat' know anywaysh..."
He lifted her off his lap and crawled onto the couch.
"I would fall fer that violent bitch." He grumbled, closing his eyes, "I would fall fer Akane FUCKIN' Kakyoin."
He wondered when and how it happened.
He wasn't exactly sure.
She was loud, foul-mouthed, hard-headed, tactless, so sadistic it should be considered criminal; no redeeming qualities whatsoever that he could see.
Sure she was cute…but that was about it.
Maybe it was the fact he had been away from Hilde so long.
If that was the case, big whoop, he'd be seeing her soon enough.
He mulled this over until he passed out.
"ALRIGHT! EVERYBODY UP!"
"MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!"
Duo's head throbbed painfully as he fell off the sofa.
Running for the bathroom wasn't an option, so once again, he opted for another, defenseless potted plant.
As soon as he was finished, some grabbed his braid, yanked his head back and forced some heinous tasting fluid down his throat.
A moment later, it was like a veil had been lifted and his hangover was gone…and replaced by four…powerful…pissed off men.
"Alright, get inline, Maxwell!" Kazuo growled, jabbing his index finger at the line up that was almost finished.
"Wh-whuz goin' on?" he asked sleepily.
"Get. In. LINE!" Takaomi snarled, only and inch away from his face (ahhh…so that's where Akane leared that one)
Quickly scrambling to his feet, Duo did exactly as he was told, lining up next to Quatre.
"What's goin' on?" he whispered to the blonde Arab.
Quatre shrugged.
"I don't know." He replied worriedly, "But whatever it is, it must be bad."
"Agreed." Wufei nodded, "They're addressing us all by surnames now, so whomever did what is in trouble."
Heero and Trowa nodded their heads in agreement.
"SO!" Mannen barked, stalking back and forth, "Which one of you is it, hm?"
"Yes." Suo sneered, "Whose the dead man?"
The G-Boys shot each other confused looks but maintained their silence.
"We all felt 'The Twinge' last night." Kazuo growled, "So there's no use hiding it."
"Which is it?" Takaomi snarled, "WHICH ONE A YOU CHOADS LIKES OUR MONKEY?"
Duo let loose a tiny squeak.
Mannen heard him.
He was doomed.
Or he would've been had it not been for the strange string of lucky events (lucky for him that is) that transpired next.
-FWOK-
"OWSHIT!" Kazuo hissed, hands flying to the back of his head.
The object that had collided with his skull spun across the floor, coming to a stop at Trowa's toes.
"A Jack Daniels bottle." He murmured.
And who was drinking J.D. last night?
That's right, Akane, who is currently out for blood at being awakened at five o' clock in the morning on a vacation day.
"Shut. The FUCK. Up." she hissed, eyes narrowed into angry slits as she lifted a lamp of an end table, "SOME of us. Are TRYING. To SLEEP!"
She hurled the lamp at Mannen's head and he barely ducked in time.
"Muh-Monkey, juh-just take it easy." Suo stammered (even he's unsure of how to deal with her pissed off and sleep deprived)
"Y-yeah." Takaomi nodded, "W-we f-felt 'Th' Twinge' again and-!"
Akane's glare, if it was possible, grew in ferocity by twenty times.
"Oh!" She snarled, grabbing the end table, "So you're chasin' off ANOTHER guy who likes me? THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH, BROTHER DEAREST!"
She lobbed the end table and Takaomi's leg didn't get out of the way in time.
"Ih-it's not w-what you think Monkey!" Mannen cried defensively, "One of THESE guys likes you!"
"Yeah!" Kazuo yelled, still holding his head.
Akane fixated her glare on the G-boys.
Turned around and stalked back into her room for a moment…
…and returned with several shotguns.
"Ask away." She smirked maliciously, "Just make sure who ever it is isn't alive when yer done. Kill'm all fer all I care."
"Roger!" Takaomi said, saluting her (ummm…your leg?) as she stalked back into her room.
The G-Boys felt a thrill of fear pass through them as the Freakish Foursome turned back around, firearms in hands.
"Alright…now who-!"
"Duo!"
A weight crashed into him, sending him flying to the floor.
"H-Hilde?" Duo asked in a muffled voice.
"Duo, I missed you sooo much!" she cried, grinning down at him.
"What…how…I mean, what is she doing here?" Wufei stammered.
In the doorway of Suo's room, Sora and Hinode quickly tossed the All-Powerful Remote back onto Suo's king sized bed, tip-toeing back to their own rooms with the Gundam Wing DVD in hand before anyone missed them.
(A/N: Hilde is here! Just in time apparently. The Gang flies back to Japan. What else can happen?...alot by th' looks of it! R&R!)
