A/N: Thanks for being patient, sorry for the long update lag; I'm dealing with a bit of Melissa's issue, on top of having to occupy, entertain, feed, and dress my other two little guys.
As the invisible reviewer pointed out, Tracey is the girl from chapter 4 that had the flu, and Pony helped her out. I hadn't expected most of the reviewers who've been reading from the beginning to pick up on that right away, since it wasn't a big part and it was quite a while ago. I have to say that I was really impressed with the reviews I got for the last chapter – specifically, the overall mature attitude regarding Tracy's choices. I guess there's a little bit of Darry in all of us. Hope you like his reaction; I couldn't imagine any other coming from someone who Pony described as, "He doesn't understand anything that is not plain hard fact. But he uses his head." To me, it's that analytical confidence that doesn't allow for much nonsense. Last note: as you're reading, think about the title of the chapter; I hadn't realized when I titled it that it's got a double meaning here.
Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders
Dedication: This one goes out to all of my reviewers; you keep me motivated, even when I'm nauseous!
Darry's POV
I had to blink and look again, and still had trouble believing what I was seeing. "Tracey?" I repeated in astonishment, as if saying it the first time hadn't made it quite true.
She looked up at me. "Darry, look…"
"Is there somewhere inside we can talk?" I interrupted. The front porch hardly seemed like the place to discuss Tracy's new profession, especially with two of her siblings peering out the front window.
"Sure, come inside." She led me into the house. "You kids stay right out here and watch television, okay? I've got some things to discuss with Mr. Curtis."
I followed Tracey into one of the bedrooms and closed the door behind us. "Tracey, are you crazy? What is wrong with you, getting into something like…"
"You don't understand!" she snapped. "I'm not making enough at the diner. Something always comes up. One of them gets sick, or needs something for school…I just never have enough."
"Do not tell me that I don't understand. I was in the same position as you not too long ago."
"It was different for you," she argued. "Your brothers were older, they could take care of themselves if they needed to. Do you know what happened at school last month? Kids were teasing my little sister because she wears second-hand clothes. She doesn't deserve that!"
"Look, I know it's hard to make ends meet, but this is not the way to do it. How much are you short every month?"
She shrugged. "Maybe thirty or forty bucks. They turned off the phone for a while a couple months ago."
"Tracy, there has got to be something else you can do for another thirty or forty dollars a month. You know you have people who will help you – Steve, Pony, me. And Pony put you in touch with that church group…"
"I'm sick of taking charity!" she exploded. "Do you know how much I'm getting with this? At least ten bucks a night. Ten bucks! Sometimes twenty. And that's in addition to what I'm making at the diner during the day!"
I shuddered at her stupidity. "And what are your brothers and sister doing while you're 'working'?" I spat. "What exactly have you told them?"
"They stay in the other room," she explained weakly, looking guilty. At least she was aware of how pathetic this all was. "They have no idea what goes on in here. They think the men are just here to give me things to type for them."
I nodded. "Right. Out in the other room. Are you doing drugs, too?"
"No!" she shouted defensively, then backed down a bit. "Well, sometimes one of the men brings something over that he wants me to do before we get started. But it's just for the job, I never do it on my own!"
She must have picked up on my blatant disgust, and tried again to justify her actions. "Look, it isn't like anyone's getting hurt. The men get something out of it, I get more money than I'll ever get just waiting tables, and the kids don't know one way or the other. You're…you're not going to tell Pony, are you?" she finished desperately.
I didn't answer for a minute. What was I supposed to say? I knew exactly what she was going through. I also knew how tempting it was to get involved in something shady with all that money dangled in front of you, especially as you watched your brothers' clothes fall to shreds before you could afford new ones, and you did everything you could to keep the house from crumbling around you. Then there's the bill paying – do I pay the electric company this month, or the gas company? And how do I cover the extra I needed to spend when the water heater broke? I had been there, alright, and I knew there were other ways around it. I knew there were always people willing to lend a hand; it was up to me to swallow my pride and ask.
I looked over at Tracey. "You've got three days to figure out another plan," I told her. I wasn't sure what I was going to do in three days – it didn't feel like my business to tell Pony about it, since if he knew, he would have no choice but to take the kids away from her – but I figured three days would give her time to rethink her life, and me time to figure out where my place was in all this. I left Tracey standing there in shocked silence and went back out toward the front door.
"Did you give her the money?" the oldest boy asked from the couch.
"What?"
"Did you pay her? Some of them try to leave without paying." His demeanor was calm and rational.
"That wasn't what I was here for," I told him. "What exactly do you think it is your sister does?" I asked as an afterthought.
"Well, we don't have a typewriter, so I guess I know pretty well what she does." He turned back to the television and reached into the bag of cookies that was sitting next to him.
I walked out of the house knowing exactly what I was going to do in three days.
Pony's POV
"Here's a gown; you'll need to take off your pants, and leave the gown open in the back." The nurse handed Vic the gown and disappeared into the hallway.
Vic followed the nurse's instructions, I tied the gown, and he and hopped up onto the examination table, shifting his weight as he pulled at the gown so he wasn't sitting on it. "How long do you think this will take?"
"Well," I reasoned, "we're finally back in an exam room. How much longer can it possibly take, after they had us sitting in the waiting room for three hours?"
An hour later I went out to the nurse's station for the third time to find out where the doctor was. "I'm sorry, Mr. Curtis, but we're very busy today, and there are only three doctors on duty. We'll have someone in with you as soon as possible."
I wondered why they didn't just print that all up on flyers and hand it to anyone who asked. I had gotten the exact same response all three times. It hardly seemed worth it for them to waste more time saying the same thing over and over.
I went back to the room to sit with Vic. It was getting a little uncomfortable. We had run out of things to say sometime back in the waiting room. There was nothing to read, nothing new to look at…
"What do you think they do with those?" Vic asked, breaking into my thoughts. I looked at the item he was pointing to, which contained several tubular tendrils and looked suspiciously like it was supposed to be put somewhere that nobody in their right mind would want it to go.
"I'm not sure I want to know," I answered.
"Do you think anyone ever died in this room?"
How had we gotten onto something so morbid? "I really have no idea, Vic, though I doubt it. Why, did you see a ghost?"
He gave me an annoyed look. "Yeah. Looked kind of like you, in fact. Said he came from the future, some smart-alec kid with a hole in his leg took him out with a piece of hospital equipment…"
"Dream on, wiseass."
Vic gave me a sly grin. "You don't think I could take you on?"
I grinned back. "No. Do you?"
He shrugged. "Maybe in a few years."
"And with a couple of your friends," I added.
Vic looked down at the floor and fiddled with the edge of his gown-thing. "Pony?"
"Yeah?"
"After you guys adopt me…what do I call you?"
I hadn't expected that, so I was a little taken aback. "Hmmm…well, I'd say Pony is just fine, unless there's something else you want to call me. Within reason," I added quickly as Vic opened his mouth to make a smart comment.
"Well, here I am, sorry it took so long. Busy busy today." The doctor was looking down at the clipboard in his hand that held the paper we had filled out four hours earlier. "Knife wound, eh? Let's take a look." He looked up at us and extended his hand to me. "I'm Dr. Adderson. Are you Victor's father?"
Vic made a face at the sound of his full name, but stifled a laugh at the suggestion of me being his father. "I'm his foster father," I explained; I couldn't stop looking at that doctor, it felt like I'd seen him before. "Pony Curtis."
The doctor stopped and stared at me, mouth agape. "Ponyboy?" he said quietly. "My god, how long has it been?"
It took me only another instant to place him, after he said my name. "Randy?"
Randy Adderson, Doctor Adderson, Bob Sheldon's best friend, one of the guys who tried to drown me when I was fourteen, the soc who had turned out to be a regular guy – held out his hand to shake mine. I smiled and shook his hand.
"I guess I haven't seen you since…" I trailed off, suddenly remembering vividly the last time I had seen Randy. Old emotions came rushing back at the memory, and I quickly turned them off.
"It would have been that day in…in court. Right?" Randy finished for me. "I left after that to live with my aunt up in Baltimore."
"Yeah, it's been a long time," I added; it had been a century ago. Or had it been yesterday? One seemed as likely as the other.
"So how've you been?" he asked.
"Not bad. Spent some time in Vietnam, went to college; I work for social services now." The last ten years of my life, summarized in one short sentence. It hardly revealed any of what had actually occurred, but college is college, and Vietnam – there was only one person who knew the real story of my experience over there, and I planned to keep it that way. Not even Melissa knew.
Randy nodded. "I finished high school up in Baltimore, then went on to college, then med school at John's Hopkins. Just finished a few months ago." I wondered how much of his life he had just deleted in his summary. It hardly seemed worth it to go any further, though. Sometimes it's better to just start where you are now, and let the ghosts from your past re-enter without a lot of background or explanation. We both knew we were different people from the kids who had nearly killed each other, and who thought nothing of attacking someone else just because of their social status. It was still happening, the fighting over nothing tangible, nothing heartfelt, but you don't learn how pointless it is until it's over, and you've grown up and seen that there are real enemies more vicious, more lethal, than any we could ever create in our youth. And some people never learn.
"So you decided to come back home?" I asked, truly interested in the workings of the mind of someone who had left for a "better" world, only to return to the now-unfamiliar one they had rejected.
"Yeah; I'm doing my residency with a private practice, and put in one day every other week here," he explained, then shrugged. "I guess it isn't the place that you need to get away from. You know?"
"Yeah, I know." And I did. I knew exactly what he meant.
Vic loudly cleared his throat from the table next to us. "My leg?" he reminded Randy.
Randy smiled. "Right. Let's take a look." He had Vic move the gown over and pull the gauze off to expose the wound, which was red and starting to seep a little. I felt a pang of guilt at not bringing him in right away, though I knew they would have just told me to take him home and watch for signs of infection.
Randy pressed lightly around the puncture; Vic jumped and tried to not allow his expression to give away the pain. "We should be able to clear this up within a couple of days with some oral antibiotics. I'll give you an antibiotic ointment, too, that you'll need to apply twice a day. And it wouldn't hurt to take one or two warm baths a day." Randy pulled a prescription pad out of his pocket and scribbled some unintelligible drabble on it that I figured the pharmacist would inexplicably be able to translate.
He ripped the page off the pad and handed it to me, then turned to Vic. "You're a lucky kid, winding up with this guy," he told Vic. "If he'll take on a burning building to save a bunch of kids he'll never know, I can only imagine how far he would go for a kid who lives in his own house." Randy turned back to me and extended his hand again. "Take care, Ponyboy. It was good to see you. I really mean that."
I shook his hand again. "You too, Randy. It was good to see you, too." Randy turned and left the room. I stood watching the door for a few seconds before pulling myself back to the present; I reached back and got Vic's pants off the chair for him.
"Was that guy a friend of yours?" Vic asked.
"Not really. He's a guy I knew a long time ago." I realized then that Vic knew the whole story; he just didn't know that he knew. I hadn't told him that the story he'd read in English was mine, that the people he had cried over at the end were my friends. He didn't know I knew that; he had been reading the end of the story in the living room one night, and I discreetly watched him; I don't know why, I guess maybe I had to know if it had a visible effect on anyone. Had I actually brought those people back to life? Had I made someone understand us and feel for us? Vic had finished the book-thing, and quickly left the room wiping his eyes.
I handed Vic his pants. "Get dressed. I need to tell you something."
Vic's POV
Pony untied the gown for me so I could get it off and get my pants back on. I was so sick of the clinic by the time we were leaving, I would've just gone ahead and bled to death or something before I walked back in there again.
"So what's the big secret?" I asked on the way out to the car. It all seemed a little dramatic, the way Pony was waiting until we were on our way to tell me whatever it was he wanted to tell me. I figured it was something about that doctor, but to be honest I wasn't even all that interested in how they knew each other. I had just asked to be saying something. I thought maybe Pony would say something like, "yeah, we went to school together," or some such connection. I hadn't bargained for a big explanation, and was a little too tired to care right then. I really just wanted to get that medicine for my leg. It hurt all the way through, more than it had right after it had happened.
Pony let us both into the car and turned on the engine and the heat, then sat back. "That doctor, Randy – I knew him back when I was fourteen. He was one of the rich kids. One night him and a bunch of his friends came after me and one of my buddies, Johnny, in a park. They were drunk. They tried to drown me in the fountain, but Johnny fatally stabbed Randy's best friend, Bob." He stopped talking for a minute.
"Come on, Pony, I read that story, too; it's the one I had to read for my English…" Pony turned and gave me an expectant look, and realization slowly dawned on me. Why hadn't I seen it before? It seemed so obvious now – the bizarre names, the three brothers… "It was you," I said. "You wrote it. You're Polokid." Pony winced at the alias.
"Yeah. It was me. It was us. I wrote it." Pony took a deep breath and stared off into the setting sun; he looked like he was a million miles away. Or maybe just ten years away.
I felt like I had The Ghost of Christmas Past sitting next to me. I didn't know what to say. I knew those people in the story by the time it was over. I knew them, I felt for them, I understood them. And as it turned out, some of them were the people who had become my family.
"So the guy that died – his name was Johnny?" He had reminded me of myself, only without the obnoxious side. His dad hitting him, having to go to his friends' house for safety; only I hadn't had anyone to go to. I had friends, but we moved twice in three years, so no one that was like family.
Pony nodded.
An idea struck me. "Pony?"
"Yeah?"
"He's why you took me home, isn't he? You took me home because of Johnny. Because I didn't have anyone. That's what you were telling me at lunch that day – that I wasn't alone anymore." It all hit me like a giant weight, both welcome and painful. He had let me into his life so I could have the chance his friend had missed out on. How many other kids had he passed over before he saw his friend in me? And where would I be if he hadn't? For that matter, where would I be if his friend had never died? It was an overwhelming circle of thought that I couldn't find an end to.
"Yeah, that's why I took you home. I wasn't expecting that to happen. It just did." Pony turned to me. "When I was young, and we had guys stay over at our house sometimes so they didn't have to go home, my mom used to tell them they were family. She said some family you are born to, and other family you have to find and recognize as such. I guess when I met you, I knew – you were a part of my family."
Four months ago, I would have laughed at that, made a smart comment and told him how stupid it was, how he didn't understand anything about me and never would. Sitting in the car that day, I finally came to realize how much Pony did understand about me. And I knew then that he was right – somehow, I was a part of his family, as much as Darry and Soda and Steve and the guy with the switchblade collection who couldn't stop being funny to save his life. I had to let him know that I understood. I had to let him know that I wasn't fighting him any more, that I wanted my life to be worth one sixteen-year-old greaser who ran into a burning building to save some little kids.
"Pony?"
"Yeah, Vic?"
"I still think Darry should have beat you up for being stupid enough to walk home from the movies by yourself."
Pony looked down and grinned, and I knew he understood. I think he understands people as well as he thinks Soda does, he just doesn't realize it. "You're probably right." He turned and smiled at me, fully back in the present. "And he'd probably agree, so let's keep that between us. I don't know what the statute of limitations is on getting pounded by your big brother for doing something stupid."
Hope you all enjoyed! Now, some comments for my reviewers:
Aslan: Thanks, glad you enjoyed. Yeah, with Tim and Curly I figured I'd go with Pony's prediction. It seemed like the most realistic thing for them, based on the repeat cycles I've seen throughout my life. No, you weren't supposed to feel sorry for Tracey. I'm sure people have different reactions, but adding her at that point was just showing what is going on with her; opinions will differ, I am sure, but in this chapter I went with what I thought would make sense with Darry. If I were writing Pony or Soda in that situation, I probably would have given a slightly different reaction. Hope it felt right!
Reviewer: Here it is!
ktk2005: Here's the update, hope you liked it! Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my story. It's got a couple more twists before it's over.
Der Kat: Thanks, I'm glad you had the chance to read it! I like writing the characters older, partly because there is actually a little more leeway for slight personality differences, and partly because I'm writing into an era that I have vague memories of.
Hahukum Konn: Thanks, glad you're enjoying! It's good to hear you're finding it realistic. I actually printed out a 1976 calendar, and went on the net for things like popular TV shows, movies that were out that year, etc. Plus, I remember a little of it (used to watch The Donny and Marie show every Friday night!).
NeonProdigy: Yeah, I love Darry. I like keeping that tough quality to him, that analytical get-the-job-done attitude that Pony perceived as coldness in the book. He's awesome to write as an adult. There's so much I want to include in this story, it gets tough to fit everything in – like, the part with Darry wasn't supposed to be so long, but it just kept flowing. Yeah, I wanted to keep it realistic with Tim and Curly. A huge percentage of kids in their situation end up as adults in their situation. Hope you enjoyed the part with Tracy; something about why Darry was so "harsh" about it will come up in the next chapter.
Scarlett7: Thanks! Wow, Tim and Curly went over well with everyone. I'll have to maybe include them a bit more as the plot allows.
goldengreaser: Thanks, glad you enjoyed! No need to apologize, everyone has different thoughts and ideas about what would be realistic. For example, someone could just as easily write a good story about Pony as an adult meeting a woman he likes, who turns out to be a social worker, and maybe he has problems dealing with it. I like hearing what people think, and like to give explanations on my reasons where I can. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
darkdestiny2000: Yeah, that was her. I was thinking, people in the same situation could act in completely different ways, even with exactly the same priorities and intentions. Glad you liked the Vic/Lin interaction; they kind of meshed with me from the beginning, even with the completely different personalities (or maybe that's why). There's more about the two of them to come.
Tsuppi: Yeah, I can't seem to stop with this story. It just keeps going and going…I was thinking I'd be all the way to April or May by chapter 11, but it's still December! I really do enjoy writing this, and I'm glad so many others like reading it.
Taurus: Yeah, I put in the Shepherds. Can't have an Outsiders fic without them! I kind of see Tim as a little bit mellowed out, and maybe having a bit of cash behind him now, plus he's kind of one of those gang leaders that can stay off the street and rule from afar now. Hope you enjoyed!
virgil-t-stone: Here's the update, hope you enjoyed!
Fairlane: Thanks, I'm so glad you're enjoying this story! Yeah, I like tough Darry, it really makes sympathetic and understanding Darry shine through in those moments. I'm glad you're feeling the story; my main goal when I write each chapter is that I feel it, because if I don't, no one else will. But I think you know what I'm talking about, based on your Tim story; very emotional. Thanks again!
Ale Curtis-Carter: Thanks! Don't feel stupid, Tracey was back in chapter 4 I think, so I wasn't expecting anyone who has been reading from the beginning to pick up on that immediately.
babygurl33: Here's the update; yeah, Tracey showed up for about half of chapter 4, so I didn't expect everyone to pick up on who she was. Hope you enjoyed!
Keira: Thanks, that really means a lot! I'm glad you liked it and thought everyone was in character. Here's an idea – maybe I can write you into the story for Vic! What do you want your name to be? Hehe! Yeah, Tracy was tempted by the money. Glad you like being eighteen. Hope you liked this chapter!
screaming666: Thanks! Your penname cracks me up, buy the way, I love it. I just get these images that have something to do with those bizarre paintings with the person-type-image in a silent scream. Who painted that? Anyway, thanks for the review, hope you enjoyed the update!
Just Playin: Tracy was working as a prostitute for Tim; that probably came through a little clearer in this chapter. Hope you liked!
Rock: Hey, anytime! Glad you liked the chapter, hope it was kind of a good memory that it brought up! Yeah, sounds a little mean – was this a group effort, or did they each come up with it on their own? I have a feeling there will be a lot of things that happen between little one #3 and my bigger guys that I will never know about. Yeah, I like the Darry toughness, too, and didn't see it going away as he got older. Maybe doesn't show up as often in his lifestyle, but it's there! Yeah, Tracy has messed up a bit. I'm trying to keep things real, so not everything always works out. Hope you liked!
Tensleep: Yeah, I always pictured Tim and Curly going exactly the route that Pony predicted, as so often happens in real life. Yeah, I like how the relationship between Vic and Lin is developing. I see them as almost naturally behaving as siblings, even though neither of them has never had one. They connected at that level, I guess, and they're both young enough to take it as another part of life. Thanks, and yeah, I'm feeling better! Off to go grocery shopping after I post this…(no Wal-Mart though!).
