A/N: Well, babies don't wait for anything, so this update was a little longer in coming than I had planned. The stats: girl; October 18th, 3:40am; Kathryn Ann (Katie); 7 pounds, 4.75 ounces; 20.5 inches long; lots of brown hair; and two big brothers – the 4-year-old could do without her and the 6-year-old adores her. Hope y'all enjoy the chapter. So you know where we stand, unless any major changes occur, this will be followed by two more chapters, then an epilogue.
Dedication: This one goes out to Christine (it's always nice to find another writing buddy!) and Rock (I felt very rude cutting our conversation short the other night, sorry! When the driver (i.e. Rich) is ready to go, it's time to go!).
Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders.
Pony's POV
I'd like to say that Saturday loomed before us like a great mountain, a difficult journey, a tedious job; but as it turned out, there was no time for looming, or for thinking even, it seemed. We knew Vic was leaving, we got him packed up, we had everyone over for dinner…and without ceremony or care, the week arrived at Saturday.
Melissa and Linleigh said their teary goodbyes at the house in the morning while the syrup-coated plates still sat on the table, half-finished blueberry pancakes on all four of them. I don't think any of us was hungry, it was more like we ate for each others' sake to keep things as normal as possible for as long as possible.
The ride downtown was quiet and awkward – neither of us even bothered with small talk. It was like walking through a dream, the kind where you keep hoping you'll wake up and find it was all a dream, but I didn't, and it wasn't.
High heels clicked by in one direction, an intern clutching an armful of crinkling papers the other direction, as I sat on the hallway bench and waited while the judge talked to Vic. His assistant had called Vic back as soon as we'd arrived. At least the guy didn't keep people waiting, which was about the only nice thing I could come up with about him at the moment.
I almost didn't notice the two women who sat down on the bench across from me. One was wearing a nice business suit and carried a briefcase. The other one, wearing a nice red skirt and a white blouse, had dark hair that hung in shining waves over her shoulders. She smiled nervously at me when I looked up into her familiar eyes. If I had passed her on the street, I would have thought nothing about it, and if anyone had asked me about her, I might have said that she could just as easily have been one of the other teachers at Melissa's school. I mean, she was nice looking. Normal looking. She didn't look like someone who would abandon their own child.
She looked like a mom.
"Hi," she said with another tentative smile.
I nodded; her lawyer was busy jotting notes and shuffling through a lapful of papers.
"Weather's not too bad today," she tried again.
I shrugged. "Guess not." I hadn't really noticed what the weather was like. Could have been Armageddon out there; my only thought was that I was heading to the courthouse to hand Vic over to a monster.
And the woman sitting across from me was not who I had pictured. The woman in my mind had dark hair, but it hung drab and tangled, not in soft ripples. She had spoken to me, but it was in a rough voice that accused me of being a hoodlum, not in a pleasant voice that asked about the weather that I didn't give a damn about. This woman had left her ten-year-old son with a father he didn't know; the woman in my mind had abandoned her son the day he was born without ever having to leave him. Was there a difference? In the end, both boys were kicked puppies. One had died, the other still had a chance.
"Are you the social worker?" she finally asked, and her lawyer gave her a sharp warning glance before turning back to her work.
"Something like that," I answered.
The door next to me opened, and the judge's assistant stepped into the hallway. "You can come in now," she told us. We all filed through the front office and into a larger room crammed to the gills with filled bookshelves, a cluttered executive desk, and an oval table surrounded by eight padded chairs. Vic sat in one of them, looking somewhere between defeated and content.
"Mr. Curtis?" Judge Wallace asked, extending his hand.
I nodded and shook his hand. "Judge." He didn't look much older than Darry, though he was probably in his mid-forties.
"Well then, this shouldn't take too long. Shall we get started?"
We did. Introductions were brief and awkward, the papers were reviewed and signed, the judge gave us a few last pearls of wisdom, and it was over. We all filed back into the hallway, and I realized then that Vic had yet to say anything to his mother, or to look at her, for that matter. A couple of times she had reached over to straighten his hair or touch his shoulder, but retreated like a startled deer when he shook her off.
"Mr. Curtis?"
I turned to Vic's mother, who was wringing her hands as she looked at me with pleading eyes. "I just…I…thank you. For looking out for Vic."
Her gaze shifted downward when I answered, "Somebody had to."
Vic leaned against the wall, bored and looking like he had all the time in the world. His mother looked nervously over to her son before putting her hand on my arm to guide me out of earshot. "Look, I know I messed up. You probably think I'm some kind of monster." Her choice of words took me a little off-guard, and I realized her hands were shaking and she was shifting around like the new student in a school full of kids who she knew were better than her. "I was scared. Ray was hurting us. I thought…I didn't think his dad would…" her voice cracked, and when she put her hand to her mouth and fought for control I forgot for a second who she was, and felt bad for her. "Look, I'm trying," she whispered. "I know he hates me, but I think maybe I can do it this time. You know?"
I did know. She messed up, but she wanted another chance. I knew first-hand what it was like to have someone you loved hurt you. For me, it was just an instant in time, a bad judgment call, an impulsive act brought on by worry and fear and frustration. For Vic, it had been almost four years – four years of wondering why she had left him and whether or not she loved him. Did she? And did it matter if she did? It wasn't for me to figure out.
"He needs to know he can depend on you. He needs a mom," I told her, and she nodded.
"I know."
"Don't let him down again. Please."
"I'll try," she promised, and I knew from the way she was shifting around, and the lack of confidence in her tone, and the commitment that she couldn't make to such an important request, that it was only a matter of time before she would let him down again. All I could do was hope that we'd been enough of a support in his life to help him not get hurt this time.
"I'd like to say goodbye," I said evenly, more a statement than a request. His mother stood wordlessly aside, and I moved over to my first son. "Hey."
Vic looked up at me, and for an instant I saw the panic and despair and…guilt?...flash across his eyes, then he was back to being stoic and in control. "Hi. Or rather, bye." And there was that slightly accusing tone, because I was one of the adults and should have been able to make things right, even though he knew I couldn't. I expected it and was even glad to hear it, to know that I meant enough to him that it hurt him to be leaving. That connection could save his life – whether in a literal or figurative sense remained to be seen – if he went with his instincts.
"If you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me. Or call Soda, or Darry, or Melissa – any one of us. For anything. Do you understand? Don't wait until something is wrong. If you need to talk, or if you need a ride, or need help at school, or, Christ, if you can't decide what to wear in the morning – you call one of us. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, I got it. Thanks, Pony." I wasn't sure how to end things, until he stepped forward and leaned toward me. My breath caught in my throat as I pulled him toward me and held on to him. When he pressed his face into my shoulder, the smell of his hair, of our shampoo, pulled me back to the first time I had met him, sitting across the desk from me with his hair disheveled and a scowl on his face and those pictures from the hospital laid out in front of me. God, let him be okay. Please let him call me if anything bad ever happens to him again. I'm not his father, not his brother, but he is mine, or I am his, and I cannot stand the thought of anyone hurting him.
Vic gave a last shaky sigh before backing away from me, giving a half-hearted understanding grin, and turning to leave the courthouse with the woman he had lived with for his first ten years. Watching him leave, I couldn't have felt more empty if it had been my own child fading into the distance. Only now, since he wasn't, he didn't have to come back to me if he didn't want to.
I stepped out onto the dreary sidewalk, pulled my scarf around my neck, and headed into the icy wind.
Vic's POV
I didn't bother looking back at Pony as we left the courthouse. The last thing I wanted to be doing was bawling like a baby. It was hard enough saying goodbye. I reached into my pocket and wrapped my fingers around the piece of paper that had everyone's phone numbers on it. They had each pulled me aside at some point or another over the past few days to make sure I had their number. I didn't need them all written down, I knew them by heart, but feeling that paper in my pocket was almost as good as having them all standing around me, like that night at the school. Just the thought of it sent a surge of pride through me; they were my family, for real. I could deal with anything, knowing that.
"Where the hell is your car?" I asked after we had walked for five blocks.
Mom looked at me, surprised; maybe she forgot I could talk. "Don't have one. We're taking the bus."
"Great," I muttered, loud enough so she could hear. Back to taking the bus everywhere. She ignored my comment.
"Vic…"
"Don't talk to me." I didn't bother looking at her, mostly because I knew it would hurt her if I didn't.
"We have to talk sometime."
"No we don't." I planned to say only as much as I had to for as long as it took for her to know that I hated her, even if I didn't. She didn't have to know the truth. She didn't have to know what the judge and I had talked about, or who had made the final decision. As far as I was concerned, Pony would never know either.
"Okay, you don't need to talk to me, but I'm going to talk to you. Look, I'm sorry. I was young…"
"So was I."
She sighed. "I know. I thought your dad would be…"
"Don't call him my dad. He was my father. And he hadn't seen me since I was two years old." I couldn't believe she was going that route. She had barely known him herself.
"Fine, your father. But you have to know, he never laid a hand on me. I had no way to know what he'd do. He got mad sometimes, but he never laid a hand on me. And he hadn't expected to be a father. It wasn't you, he just wasn't ready, but he gave me money sometimes and came to visit you."
"I don't remember."
"You were too young. He stopped coming when…" she paused, and I knew what was coming next and why she had stopped.
"When you met Ray," I finished.
"Yeah. He didn't like Ray."
"Did anyone, besides you?" I shot back. "Or did you just like the stuff he brought you?" I pushed aside the memory of my mother leaning back against the couch with glassy eyes, staring right through me and not hearing me tell her how hungry I was. I did find something to eat that night – three pieces of bread, probably weeks old, but I ate them. The smell of mold still makes me feel sick.
"Vic, that's over!" I could hear the frustration in her voice, and it made me glad and angry at the same time. What kind of kid makes his own mom upset? I heard her sniffle and looked over quickly. "It was because he was a cop," she finished quietly. "Your dad…father…was into some stuff. Nothing heavy, but Ray made him nervous."
"So you figured he would be the perfect guardian," I answered mockingly, and apparently that was the last straw for her.
"I had nobody! I was twenty-seven, had no job, no help, a boyfriend who was threatening to kill me, and a ten-year-old kid. What was I supposed to do? He said you could stay with him for a while."
"He thought you meant the afternoon, and you knew it!" I shouted. I don't know what I would have done in her spot, but it pissed me off that she had dumped me after all the stuff she had let Ray get away with. She was looking after herself, and trying to make it come off as concern for me. We both stopped talking as the bus rumbled up in front of us, giving off a shivering sigh of exhaust just before the door opened. Mom tossed some coins into the token box, and I followed her past the mill workers just off their shift to the back of the bus.
"Look, Vic, this is the way things are now, okay? I'm trying, I really am. You have to give me another chance. Okay? I need you, baby."
I shut my mouth and sat back in my seat. She needed me, alright. But she was the mom; wasn't I supposed to need her?
Thanks to all who reviewed:
fanficfan: Thanks for the review; I hope you continue to enjoy the story!
printandpolish: I like the new penname! Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying the story. On Pony's kids – without saying too much before the next couple of chapters, I picture Pony and Melissa taking in as many as they believed they could help. Thanks again!
rose: Thanks so much, to both you and whomever recommended the story! Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
soliteyah: Thanks, I'm so glad you're enjoying! I'm partial to Darry as well. Maybe I can get more of him into whatever my next story is.
caillion: Don't worry about Vic, he's resilient! Thanks so much for the review. That's so sad about the kids being split up, I hope things work out for them.
Tai-dye: Thanks for the review, hope you liked the update!
random stuff about stuff: Thank you so much, that's quite a compliment. Hope you enjoyed!
Scarlett7: Hi, thanks for the review. I know which post you mean, but it was actually a different story that Ms. Hinton read, there used to be a link to it. It's awesome to know she checks out some of the stories on the site, isn't it?
babygurl33: Sorry! Thanks for the review, hope you liked this chapter!
Nice Hobbitses: Thanks so much for the detailed review, it's always great to know what people liked or didn't like about the story. I love writing this one, and there is so much I would like to include and give more details on that I don't simply because it would take things off track. Pony's dream issues come from listening to and reading accounts of veterans, so I'm glad it came off as realistic (though I'm sorry to hear about your husband having nightmares). Thanks again; have you had the baby? I was early with my first two, and early with this one. Good luck!
TimeMage0955: Thanks so much, hope you enjoyed!
darkdestiny2000: Thanks so much! Vic's turning out to be a good brother, eh? He surprises even me. Hope you liked the update!
Fairlane: Thanks, the school scene was one that just flowed. I didn't even know what Vic was going to be thinking until I was in the middle of it. These people are becoming too real! Is that possible? Your comments about Vic's age and the decisions being made about him were right along the lines of what I was thinking, and are somewhat foreshadowed in this chapter. It'll come out again later. Hope you enjoyed!
Tensleep: Thanks! Yeah, I love adding the details too. And Vic was just settling in, feeling at home…You know, with that mustard thing, I almost gave him baloney for lunch (a big thing in the 70's), then realized what a stupid idea that was. Glad you enjoyed!
Scarlett7: Thanks so much for the review, glad you enjoyed the chapter! And thanks for the good wishes, everything went well!
Rosie: Thanks so much for the review; I really do enjoy responding to them, so hopefully skipping a chapter on them doesn't happen too often! Hope you enjoyed this chapter – Darry and Soda will both be coming up in the next chapter!
Keira: Thank you! We think along the same 'name' lines with Katie, eh? Maybe I should write a story about Vic on Fictionpress, since I'm not sure how much of his social life I'll be able to fit into the rest of the story as it nears the end. But then, I'm also working on a Gavin story…have I completely lost my mind! Thanks again for the review and all the very nice things you said.
Hahukum Konn: Thanks so much for the review; yeah, Vic is seeming more and more like a less dangerous Dallas. He's got that no-nonsense personality, but with less mean and more empathy. Hope you enjoyed!
kaz456: Thanks so much; I love getting and responding to reviews! Glad you enjoyed, and hope you liked this one!
Rock: Hey, I'm glad you enjoyed. The next chapter is half written, so hopefully the next update happens soon. I always like responding to the reviews, last time was kind of a fluke; I don't plan to be 8.5 months pregnant again anytime soon!
kimmerkay: Thanks so much, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! More to come soon…
Julie: I'm so sorry, that's awful. I like to write as realistically as I can, but it is so hard knowing that the things I'm "making up" are happening to actual people. I'm glad you enjoyed chapter 14; thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoyed this one. Take care!
Tessie26: Hi, sorry for the long update on that last one! I saw the new Outsiders DVD, and love the new scenes. Everything fits together so much better. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!
screaming666: Thanks for the review! Hope I didn't get you crying again!
Ale Curtis-Carter: Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying the story and finding the characters as real as I find them. Hope you enjoyed!
virgil-t-stone: Thanks so much! I finished this one as soon as I could, and the next is half-written, so hopefully it's posted pretty soon. Hope you enjoyed!
