Ok, now for the hard part, remembering how this sketch actually goes! Hehehe…Oh well, I have no idea how this story is going to turn out. Don't throw rotten tomatoes at me. You can throw rotten tomatoes at the characters in the story itself, if you want.
Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist or Monty Python. Yes, I'm keeping with the strange convention of including a disclaimer at the beginning of each chapter. Who started this idea, anyway? Whoever started this, I've got a bone to pick with you!
Mustang raised his sword at Armstrong, and said, "I'll give you one more chance. Stand aside, and let us pass."
Armstrong was firm, with his arms crossed in front of his chest. "I move for no one," he said.
"Then I will have to take you by force," said Mustang. With that, he swung his sword, and cut off one of Major Armstrong's arms.
"My arm! My beautiful arm! You cut it off!" said Armstrong.
"Relax," said Mustang, "Nothing that happens to us in this fic is permanent. Just stick with the script."
"Oh, ok," said Armstrong, "It's just a flesh wound, come and fight, you cowards!"
"You still won't step aside?" said Mustang. With that, he raised his sword again and cut off Armstrong's other arm.
Of course, Armstrong didn't really care. After all, he'd get his arms back next time he gets used in this story, so he figured that he might as well have as much fun as possible. So, he was running around, kicking everyone in the shins, shouting, "Come on, fight, you cowards!"
Mustang was getting mad. Not only was Armstrong being an idiot, but his precious sword was getting all bloody. He figured that he'd just have to end this quick. So, he took his sword and cut off one of Armstrong's legs.
Amazingly, Armstrong remained standing, though he was hopping around on one foot. He hopped over to Fuery, and kicked one of his shins.
"Ouch!" said Fuery.
"You see? You can't get me down so easily!" said Armstrong.
He started hopping over to Mustang again, when Mustang once again raised his sword and cut off Armstrong's last limb. He was now just a body with no limbs, standing there (as best as a limbless body can stand), shouting, "Come back here, you cowards! I'll bite your legs off!"
Mustang thought that this was so stupid that he decided to just leave, and not deal with this anymore. He and Fuery crossed the bridge, leaving a very upset Armstrong behind.
Just as Mustang crossed the bridge, Ed came running up to him.
"Okay, now your sketch is done, so me and Al get to be the walkers again," said Ed.
"That depends on what the author wants," said Mustang.
"I don't care what the author wants!" said Ed, "We're supposed to be the walkers, and we're going to take back our rightful places!"
"Brother, I don't think…" said Al, before he was interrupted by Mustang.
"Hey, I have an idea, why don't you make up some sketch about bad subtitles, like the author was thinking the other day?" said Mustang.
"I never heard the author thinking that," said Ed.
"You just never pay attention," said Mustang.
"Well, she certainly never mentioned it in this fic," said Ed.
"I suppose that that's true," Mustang admitted, "But it's a good idea, don't you think?"
"I don't know," said Ed, "It's got nothing to do with Monty Python."
"Hey, we already did a Monty Python sketch for this chapter, so it's alright to bend the rules a bit, don't you think?" said Mustang.
"Well, maybe…" said Ed.
"Then go out there and show them what you're made of!" said Mustang.
So, with the fate of the world (and this fan fic) in the hands of Ed, since he's not doing what I tell him anymore, he ventured out, trying to figure out how to make a sketch about bad subtitles. Suddenly, he got an idea!
"Hey, Ar!" he said, "Come over here!"
"Ar?" said Al, "Are you talking to me?"
"Yeah, people always mix up their r's and l's in bad fansubs, so I figured that I'd start with that," said Ed.
"Well, I'll never get used to you calling me 'Ar'," said Al.
"Winly will probably never get used to it either," said Ed.
"Winly?" said Al, "What kind of name is that?"
"Hey, Ar, I've got a few questions for you," said Ed.
"Okay, but stop calling me 'Ar'," said Al.
"Am I a State Alchemist or a National Alchemist?" said Ed.
"What's the difference?" asked Al.
"It's just that different fansubs choose different terms, for some odd reason, and I'm all confused," said Ed.
"That's crazy," said Al.
"Also, were we looking for the Philosopher's Stone or the Sorcerer's Stone?" asked Ed.
"Brother, we're the FMA cast, not the Harry Potter cast!" said Al.
"Tell that to the subtitlers," said Ed, "Also, did we come through the Gate or the Door?"
Al stood silent. His brother was just getting too weird for the likes of him, not to mention that his writing ability sucked. Suddenly, he burst out running. He just wanted to get away from Ed.
"Hey, where are you going, Ar?" asked Ed, "I'm not done yet!"
"I don't want to stay around until you are," said Al, "And stop calling me 'Ar'!"
Ed took off running after Al. "Hey, wait a minute!" said Ed, "Did you know that one of the subtitles I've seen even named Gluttony 'Blatny' once?"
"Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Stop it, Brother!" Al screamed, as big streams of water were running out of his eyes.
"But I'm not done yet," said Ed, still chasing his brother.
The two ran and screamed off into the sunset, never to be seen again.
At least, not until the next chapter.
