"No secret table?" I asked, trying not to sound too hurt.
"No need." He sighed contently. "There are enough people talking. The chance of being heard is slim. Besides, " he subtly tapped his forehead and flashed a knowing smile. "I'll know if someone tunes in."
A sudden wave of security swept over me. I was surprised how comfortable I felt, especially since every female within a five mile radius was staring daggers at me. Their eyes scorched my body. Even without Edward's superfluous talent of eavesdropping, it was strangely apparent that murder was on their minds. I was swimming in their jealousy and loving every minute of it. Then, a thought stabbed at me.
"Is Jasper here?" I blurted out clumsily. Edward's eyes narrowed curiously at me and my heart skipped a beat.
"No." He blinked. "Why?"
I took a drink from my glass of water, while his remained untouched. He seemed to be patient, simply waiting for me to explain. I cleared my throat.
"People are staring at us." I stated, diverting the attention away from my stupidity, hoping he wouldn't pursue it.
"Let them." Dang it. He shrugged, looking more like a God than anyone has the right to. "Don't be so evasive, Bella. Why would you ask that? …Do you think that I would really bring him along on 'our' date without telling you?" He feigned a hurt expression.
I tried to look away from his gaze, though I knew very well there was no escape.
"No." I sighed, realizing he wasn't going to drop it. "I just…felt excited." The words came out in a blur. His eyebrow lowered seductively. I took another drink of water. My throat felt so dry.
"Excited?" He smirked. "And you think Jasper did something to influence that?"
I nodded. My gaze fell to the tablecloth insecurely, studying the design without much attention. I suppose if someone were to ask me to describe it two seconds later, I would've just said it was white with vine-like swirls.
"And I don't make you excited?"
I cringed at the direction this was going. My hair stood on end. Suddenly, I felt like I was about to fall out of my seat. I looked down and saw that I was on the edge. Doubtlessly trying to be as close to Edward as the seat would allow.
I heard an intricate smile curl on Edward's lips. I glanced up to see glimmering white teeth staring me down. I shivered, and then looked back down, hoping he couldn't tell what his smile did to me. I froze. I recognized that smile, just like I could label each smile. He knew something he wasn't sharing. My embarrassment flooded away and I compulsively squeezed the napkin in my hand, my nails biting into my palm.
"What are you not telling me?"
"Nothing."
"You know," I said acidly, "it's not healthy to lie so much." His face lit up in amusement.
"Well, I'll admit it was my fault, not Jasper's." He smiled and I listened to his glorious voice. "Living with Jasper, I've picked up a few…tricks." There was a devilish edge in his voice. I continued drinking what was left. However, the slurping informed me I was getting dangerously low on water. Without saying a word, Edward passed me his glass and continued.
"It's not easy. In fact, it's actually extremely complicated. I'll never perfect it the way he has. I was just sort of testing it and apparently it works." The adorable crease in the outward edge of his eyes momentarily distracted me. His moving eyes caught mine. I gulped nervously.
Suddenly, my body contracted and my first instinct was to run. Adrenaline pumped through my veins and my breathing became deep. A slight pang of fear stabbed at me, then slowly, faded. I glowered at Edward. He grinned.
"You're evil." I scowled, trying without much success to slow down my heightened pulse. The best thing I could do was breath slow, deep breathes. But it didn't take long for Edward's eyes to destroy my concentration. He wasn't smiling anymore. I felt guilty.
"Sorry…" I breathed quietly. He shook his head and forced a smile.
"Don't be. None of this is your fault."
I gulped. To avoid the silence, I slurped more of my water loudly.
"What are you thinking?" He asked, his eyes intense with curiosity.
"You don't want to know." I said without thought, carefully avoiding his eyes, though they were invitingly soft, a black surrounded with warm brown irises.
"Obviously I do if I'm asking." He pointed out. I sighed and sat motionless for a moment, planning out what I was going to say.
"What's going to happen between us?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'm just wondering. It's almost senior year and I don't have much of a clue what I want to do with my life. I have no real goals, plans, or career options I'm set on pursuing and my only interest in school is you." He flinched, but opened his eyes and probed mine to continue. "Who knows how many times you've been a senior in high school, how many times they've asked to you to think about what you want to do with your life, or lack thereof, but as far as I'm concerned, you're the only thing I want.
"I already have you, at least for now. I'm not afraid of dying, Edward." I hinted and his face fell. I couldn't see what his expression was, but knowing him, it was probably anger, disappointment, pain, or a combination of the three. It was obvious I was treading on thin ice. Heck, not just treading, jumping on breaking ice.
He said nothing. For what felt like forever, he kept his head bowed, eyebrows furrowed, and face tight. I started to trace my fingers over the vine-like swirls in the linen tablecloth, though that was not where my heart was.
The waitress brought out our meal in the midst of the silence. I bet even she could feel the intense heat radiating from the angry Edward. He may look like a God, but he has the temper of a devil. I guess that's one reason why I was attracted to him. There was no telling what he would do next and the mystery sustained me, drew me to him even more if it was possible.
"Bella, why do you do this to me?" Edward groaned darkly after the waitress left. His voice surprised me, brimming with so much pain. Tears sprang to my eyes, more out of habit than anything else. The words were so strong, hitting home. My heart beat irregularly.
"Because," I muttered, "this is what I want."
Shocking coal eyes appeared behind his ultra-white eyelids. There was a sharp intake of breath. I recognized it as my own.
"We've already established that you have a death wish, Bella. But this is no way to go about it. You haven't the faintest idea of what you're asking for, and I haven't the heart to condemn you to this." His voice was bitterly icy.
"You're not condemning me if I'm asking for it." I pointed out with hope. He shook his head.
"Don't be ridiculous. You're acting like it's a gift to be passed around at will, but it's more than that."
"Do you really resent it that much?" I asked sympathetically, noting the pain he was in. Might as well as be squirming on the floor.
"I didn't really have much of a choice, remember? I was on my deathbed as it was and Carlisle was trying to do his duty as a doctor to preserve this life, though for nearly 200 years I might as well have been dead. There's no warmth, no satisfaction, no peace in death. There's nothing that can completely satiate the thirst." He whispered low enough so that only I could hear.
"Not to mention," he sighed, sitting back in his seat, "Carlisle would never approve."
"No one has to know." I blushed furiously. I even shocked myself with my own stupidity sometimes. Yet, the only seemingly good satisfaction I got out of my ignorance was that it was amusing to Edward. He laughed softly under his breath. I was relieved to see a smile on his face again.
"You underestimate Alice. She'd know far before it was ever even considered. Come to think about it, she mentioned something earlier about not losing my temper with you. She wouldn't tell me why and it drove me insanely irate, but I suppose it was all for the best. And do you really think you can get away convincing Charlie that you're an old woman when you still look the same way as you do now? What about your mother? You're not ready to leave them yet."
As much as I hated that he said it, it was true. At heart, I still couldn't wait to see my mom again. Forks may have chased away any dreams, my sanity, and maybe eventually my mortality, but it could never completely make me forget about how much I loved Charlie and my mom, though it was often left unspoken.
I bit my lip in annoyance. He was too stubborn. I sighed in defeat. There was no convincing him. Even as I was at the brink of death before, vampire poison in my veins, he wouldn't let me go. A pang of pain pierced my heart. He would rather me die than live forever with me. So, the argument of dying from old age was out of the question.
It felt like forever that we sat in silence playing a game of My-Eyes-Can-Beat-Yours. I leaned in on the table and he did the same. I tried to look angry but Edward just laughed at my effort. Apparently, there's nothing bone chilling about wrinkled noses, pursed lips, or squinting eyes. Edward looked nothing short of mesmerizing.
His eyes caught mine. It was inescapably obvious he wouldn't let me go. It was as if his eyes clamped on my mind and tightened, suffocating me clear from coherent thoughts. I couldn't help but smile as he looked at me so menacingly. I drew a breath before my mind went blank. He could've used a stun gun and gotten more reaction out of me. I was frozen in shock.
Everything came back as he blinked and his eyes relapsed. I noticed he was smiling, too.
"That's unfair!" I playfully scolded, picking up a fork and stabbing the meat that sat in front of me. To be honest, I wasn't quite sure what it was. When the waitress took my order, I briefly scanned over the menu so as not to waste too much time and pointed at random at something on the list. Edward chuckled as I began to bring the fork to my lips.
In the blink of an eye, his chalky hand softly pressured my hand downward. My mouth awkwardly dropped as I stared curiously at him.
"You're using the wrong fork." He laughed. "That's your salad fork."
I sighed, and then closed my mouth. I plopped the salad fork back down and brandished the only other fork so he could see it.
"Better?" I asked irritably but with a smile. He nodded with a breathtaking glint in his eye.
Judging by the taste, the meat had to be chicken. I was in luck. If it had been fish, I doubt I could've restrained myself from throwing it across the room. I was annoyed with fish, having had it nearly ever night for dinner with Charlie.
"I'm curious…"I stated after swallowing. He looked at me with apprehension.
"That can't be good." He smirked.
"Very funny, Edward." I couldn't help but smile. He shrugged and I sat against the seat, dropping my fork. "Everyone of you has a talent. Jasper can influence emotions, Alice can predict the future, Emmett has incredible strength, and you can read minds." He gave a slight nod to show he was listening. "What's Rosalie's gift?"
I hated bringing her up. Whenever I visited the Cullen's house, she grazed me with her eyes and stalked away. I never worried about her intentions though as long as Edward was able to read minds. Yet, I couldn't help but remember her reluctance to smuggle me away from James's murderous glare. I shuddered at the thought of those eyes, that careless saunter, the cruel intentions. Flashbacks crammed in my head. It was Edward's voice that brought me back.
"She's very unique." He beamed. "In her previous life, she used to work with healing herbs. When she was changed, her interest in medicine became stronger, a part of her. For a while, no one knew what she could do. She mostly just kept to herself; though, when I read her mind, I couldn't help but be amazed.
"Not only is she beautiful beyond belief, Rosalie is brilliant Give her thirty seconds or less in the woods and she'll bring back every type of healing plant available. She's a very resourceful young lady, too. And when she found Emmett that day…by God he was better off dead." He said the last part with a muffled scoff.
"He was trying to hunt a grizzly, but to his misfortune, it got the better of him. Mauled him to bits, actually. Gruesome story. And Rosalie was in the woods gathering new plant species for her collection when," he allowed a foreboding silence for me to guess, and then he winked at me subtly. "She smelled him."
"She did what she could to save him, even brought him back to the house for Carlisle's professional opinion. Carlisle couldn't bring any relief to Emmett. In fact, we were all amazed that he was even still alive, doubtlessly because of Rosalie. I've never seen Rosalie cry before that point. She was choking on sobs and, reading her thoughts, I understood even before she did that she loved him. He smells the same to her the way you smell to me."
I thought about that. Rosalie seemed to me like a strong woman, someone who never cries. You could throw a rock at her head, and she'd throw it right back. Of course, no one would have the nerve to throw a rock at her in the first place, unless they were blind to her beauty.
"I don't know how she did it-change him the way she did, but she had the strength. I admire her very much for it. To be completely honest, I don't know how I stopped myself from draining you dry when I had the chance. It was sweeter than I imagined, but I guess, somewhere in the back of my mind, I selfishly reminded myself that it would never last-the taste."
I glanced down at my plate. It appeared unappetizing anymore. Furthermore, it was cold. And cold food would not do.
"Poor Rosalie." I sympathized.
Edward breathed, "Poor Emmett."
I looked up quickly, nearly popping my neck. I smiled wildly. I filtered my words carefully.
"What do you think my talent would be?"
Edward's head snapped up in reply, catching my eyes quickly. Without taking his eyes off of me, he called to the waitress, "Check, please!"
The waitress, already right behind him, serving the table of an elderly couple near us, came rushing to our side. It appeared that she was anxious to attend to us, dwell by Edward for as long as possible. He had read her thoughts.
I noted the horror on his face. He had clearly asked himself the same question before, and more evidently, came up with an answer. Once again, I was relieved he couldn't read my thoughts. Secretly, I designed a plan to find out what frightened him so much.
Twiddling with my thumbs in circles, I questioned myself. Which of my personality traits frightened him? Could it be my sarcasm? I couldn't help but squeak in laughter. Edward looked at me strangely, trying to guess what I was thinking, no doubt. I stuck my tongue out immaturely. My relief turned to pride.
The waitress scurried off to get the receipt. I couldn't shake off the feeling that the restaurant was staring at us again. Most likely, they were staring at him. In this lighting, he seemed to radiate. Light bounced off of his figure, tossing an illusion of overpowering beauty. How could he not draw attention?
"They're staring again." I said, shifting in my seat, this time becoming annoyed with their nosiness. Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed our overly attentive waitress scrambling back. She was shuffling back too quickly. Someone backed up in the isle in front of her, and like me, her breaking system wasn't that great. She collided head on and I fought back laughter.
Edward never looked away from me. He ran his forefinger and middle finger casually over his luscious lips. I forgot how to breathe.
"Let them." He said. My heart lurched in my throat and my head did that funny spinning thingy that happens whenever he captures me. Then, to my immediate humiliation, came the gibberish.
