Sorry I took so long to update. It won't be so long next time.

Special thanks to my beta, Lydia.  Great job!  You're the best.

The morning of Jess' transfer to the rehab hospital Rory arrived at the hospital early. She wanted to be there when the ambulance came to move him, just in case he needed her.

"Good morning," she greeted cheerfully when she saw Jess was awake.

"Is it?" Jess grumbled, closing his eyes.

"Of course it is," Rory replied, "The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and you are finally getting out of this hospital."

"Oh yeah," Jess mumbled. "Jump for joy."

By now Rory had seen many sides of Jess.  It was as if he had a number of different personalities that surfaced at various times in various situations, making him able to cope, to process. Given his history, Rory understood that. The early days of Stars Hollow saw a lot of angry Jess. Then, there was sweet and romantic Jess who showed up at the weirdest times and usually when she least expected it, the Bracebridge Dinner, the basket auction, after the car accident among other times.  There was grumpy and moody Jess who tended to show up at the most inopportune times, her grandmother's house, before prom…and there was even desperate Jess who arrived after they'd had a fight or when he had something really important to say.  The Jess Rory saw now was none of those, this was a new Jess, a Jess she couldn't read at all.

Rory studied him in the bed.  He didn't look at her, he looked at the wall, eyes now closed.    He seemed defeated, unaware of the significance of the move from hospital to rehab. Rory was afraid of this, afraid she was seeing what Dr. Camden warned her, Luke, and her mother about.  She was afraid this might be depressed Jess.

Rory sighed and recalled the conversation they'd had a few days ago.  Dr. Camden  consulted with Dr. Davis on transferring Jess and he had asked to speak with the family members in private.

"I've been successful in making the arrangements  to move Jess to St. Barbara's facility for rehabilitation.  He can work there as an in patient as long as necessary for his recovery," Dr. Camden explained.  "They do accept most forms of insurance as payment also, so it shouldn't be a concern."

Luke let out an audible sigh of relief.  He had been worrying about his ability to pay for Jess' care, the insurance would help a great deal.

"I must warn all of you," Dr. Camden continued, "I've seen paralysis before personally and it affects more than the body.  The mind and spirit are equally affected."

"You mean like depression?" Lorelai asked.  She'd seen people go through that and knew how it impacted their loved ones as deeply as it did the person it affected.

Dr. Camden nodded, "I mean depression, denial, anger, withdrawal, and a whole manner of different emotions.  When Jess realizes this is real, it will impact him very severely."

"With all due respect," Luke said, "He all ready knows it's real.  He knew he can't move his legs."

"I know what you mean," Rory spoke quietly, "to listen to Jess, he's going to recover fully, walk again.  When he realizes that is not true…"

"Exactly, Rory, thank you.  When Jess realizes the permanency of his condition it will break his spirit.  It always does, and the burden of fixing that crack will inevitably fall on the shoulder of friends and family."

Dr. Camden had gone on to describe the warning signs, quietness, lack of appetite, lack of communication, loss of eye contact, lack of enthusiasm, excessive tiredness or sleeplessness.  Rory saw some of these now.

"Jess," she began, "Are you all right?"

Jess could read Rory's tone so well.  She was worried about him.  And she should be.  He didn't want to go to the St. Barbara's place.  He just wanted to go home, to Luke's or wherever, he didn't want to be in the hospital and he didn't want to go to rehab anymore, he just wanted to go home.

"I want to go home," he said, deciding the truth would be the best way to stop her worry.

"I know," she said gently, moving to sit beside him on the bed, "And you can.  In two weeks you'll be able to handle…you'll be more independent, you won't even need anyone of us."

"I don't mean in two weeks Rory," Jess snapped. "I mean now."

"Jess, don't be angry with me," Rory told him. "This is not my fault."

"It's not mine either," Jess retorted.

"I know that." Rory tried to keep her self calm and gentle, "But you are going to have to accept this sooner of later, and the first step to doing that is going to this place and learning how to live on your own."

"So I will be on my own then?" Jess asked, taking her words out of context. 

"That's not…"

"No," he stopped her, "It's okay.  I should have known this was temporary.  I mean, I should have guessed that this devotion was not something to count on or anything.  It's just pity I know that, and after awhile that novelty wears off."

"Jess," Rory protested, "this is not going to work.  You are not going to make me feel guilty for wanting you to go to the hospital and learn how to have a normal life.  You are not going to going to do that.  I feel a lot of things for you in my heart Jess Mariano, and pity is not one of them.  I love you, and I'm scared for you, but I do not pity you.  You pity yourself!"

Rory rose from the bed and turned away from him to hide the tears swimming in her eyes.  She couldn't believe for a second that Jess would think she'd abandon him.

Jess sighed, "Rory," he began gently. "I'm sorry.  That came out all wrong.  I just know that when you go back to Yale you'll have a lot more to think about than me."

Rory turned around to meet Jess' eyes, "True, when school starts up I'll have more to think about than you, but I'll still think about you, and care about you.  I did it for the entire last year and you weren't even in my life, now you are, and I want you there," she told him holding his hand in hers.

Jess smiled, "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Rory nodded, "I know you are, I'm just glad you're here now," Rory leaned over and kissed his lips gently.

"Okay, break it up!" Luke announced walking into Jess' hospital room for the first time without Lorelai.

"Hey, Luke, where's my Mom?" Rory asked, sliding off of Jess' bed.

"She's back covering the diner; she thinks I'm losing too much money paying Lane and Caesar over time," Luke sighed.

"You're letting my mother work in the diner," Rory started to giggle.

 "I told her she was only allowed to take the orders. She's been managing an Inn for years. She can take orders for things," Luke commented.

"Getting defensive there, Uncle Luke," Jess cracked, just as Dr. Camden came in with the ambulance crew.

"Good morning, I see everyone is getting an early start today," he greeted. "You best get used to that.  St. Barbara's likes to work the patients out early."

Jess rolled his eyes, "Just what I always wanted to do."

"Well, great, then you can have all sorts of fun.  This is Mike and Eric. They are going to take you over to St. Barbara's.  Mr. Danes, Rory, there is also a class at St. Barbara's for the family members to take that teaches you how to be better able to assist Jess once he's home and prepare your home for him."

Luke nodded, and once of the medics spoke, "Okay, Jess, let's get you out of here.  Could you all excuse us please?"

Rory and Luke left for the hallway while the medics moved Jess into a wheelchair so that they could take him to the van the used to move patients to and from rehab.  On some level, Rory knew that Jess would be in the wheelchair for a while, if not forever, but on a whole other level she wasn't prepared to see him in one.  Before they'd gotten there, the nurses had helped him put on a some sweats so he could go to rehab in his own clothes instead of in his hospital gown, so when the medics and Dr. Camden came out, Rory got a look at Jess as he was now, as he would be perhaps for the remainder of their lives.

The chair he was in looked too big for him.  He'd lost weight in the hospital.  Rory could tell that in his face, but the way his clothes hung on him was even more of an indication of that weight loss.  His legs had always been thin, but again they seemed thinner to her now.  He sat straight with the help of two pillows propped behind his back, but looked self consciously at his knees, embarrassed to face Rory and Luke in his current position.

Luke leaned close to Rory's ear, "Act like nothing's different," he told her.

Rory bit her lip to hide the tears burning her eyelid, "That's great set of wheels there."

"Yeah, just what I always wanted," Jess quipped looking at her face.  "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just…uh, I have a headache and I'm kind of nervous about this whole rehab thing."

"Why?  I'm the one going," Jess said.

"Yeah, but there will be nurses there and they might be pretty and then you'll get all…"

"Rory, what are you talking about?" Jess asked as she started walking behind him, pushing his chair as Luke and the medics followed.

"I have no idea," she said truthfully and they both laughed.

The ride to St. Barbara's was short and when they arrived they were greeted by about five different members of the staff.

"I'm Dr. Cameron," the oldest man in group explained, "And these are Jess' nurses, Patt and Mick.  This is Jess' occupational therapist Harriet and his physical therapist Jerry."

"Wow," Rory said, "this really is personal treatment."

"Any of them making you nervous?" Jess teased.

Rory never got to answer before the medics began the task of moving Jess from the ambucar to the ground.  It was murder on Rory's spirit to watch that happen, she wanted Jess to be fine, they way he had been.  She wanted to him to be able to run and move they way he always had. She never wanted this for him. She didn't want him to be the bird in the gilded cage.

Jess looked through the hallways of St. Barbara's hospital, and was surprised at what he saw.  He saw young people, men and women not much older than him, the oldest probably about Luke's age in various stages of disability and recovery.  They were each attended to by one or two private nurses and they all seemed to be happy.  Jess wasn't sure what he'd envisioned when he and Luke talked about rehab, but this was not it.

"Let's go into room twelve, Eric, and I can get acquainted with my new patient and his family," the tall doctor instructed the younger looking medic.

Jess was wheeled to the aforementioned room 12, Luke and Rory behind him.  The medics didn't excuse the family this time before moving Jess, from their wheelchair to one owned by St. Barbara's and Rory had to battle to keep herself from crying out when she saw how helpless Jess really was.

The two medics excused themselves and left to continue their daily rounds of transfers and treatments.  That left Jess, Luke and Rory alone with St. Barbara's staff. 

"I'd like to introduce myself once again," said the tall doctor. "I'm Dr. Jesse Cameron and I'll be the physician overseeing Jess' care while he's here with us.  The staff that I've assignment to work with Jess on a very personal level once again are, Patrick Walker, Michael O'Leahy, both are registered nursed that have specialized in neurological disorders.  Harriet Chase, she'll be in charge of Jess' occupational therapy, which will include such daily tasks as dressing, grooming, so on, and finally the man of the hour Jerry Powell, who'll be Jess' physical therapist." 

Rory, Jess, and Luke studied these faces and took in the individual people as Dr. Cameron continued speaking, "St. Barbara's specialized in the rehabilitation and long term care of spinal cord injury patients.  We cater to those between the ages of 16 and 45 and generally only take patients with injuries to the spinal cord.  We feel its better this way, so our younger patients don't have competition with older patients and patients with different disorders or disabilities.  Dr. Camden's brother-in-law was a patient here for six weeks a short time ago and when he mentioned your case to me, Jess, I was intrigued."

"Intrigued?" Jess repeated, "Huh?"

"Let's just say that it is not every day I'll get a patient who actually wants to go through rehab, usually their loved ones or their doctors force them into it.  Dr. Camden said you seemed very focused and determined, both ingredients to a successful recovery.  You only get out of this what you put into it," Dr. Cameron explained.

Luke had been listening to Dr. Cameron and taking in the surroundings.  This place was great, it was exactly what Jess needed, but it would be so expensive, he didn't know if he could do it.

"Here at St. Barbara's," Dr. Cameron continued, "we like to work with the family as a team, because once Jess goes home in two weeks, you'll be as integral a part of his rehabilitation as any of us here.  That's why we'd like to get to know you."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Rory hastily apologized. "I forgot my manners.  I'm Rory Gilmore, Jess'…"

Jess reached over and took her hand, "My girlfriend," he affirmed, incase after that morning there was any doubt, "and this is my Uncle Lucas Danes."

"You go by Lucas?" Dr. Cameron asked.

"Not if I can help it. It's Luke," Luke replied shooting Jess a look.

"I like to annoy him sometimes," Jess smirked.

The doctor nodded, "Well, now is usually the time that I leave my patients with their staff members to get acquainted and establish a routine, so why don't you do that Jess.  You ultimately know what's best for your own recovery, so let these guys here know that.  Luke, Rory, why don't we adjourn to my office and discuss your part in this process?"

Luke and Rory rose from their seats, Luke patted Jess' shoulder and Rory leaned over to give him a quick kiss before they left him alone.

Jess looked at the three men and one woman before him, and felt his stomach lurch.  He had to do this thing, he knew, but he was suddenly very afraid.  He didn't know that there would be this much to learn.

The nurse named Patrick, a tall red headed man with ruddy complexion sat directly across from him, "Okay, Jess, here's how it works.  Mick and I, we are here for your medications and in the event you overdo the work out and don't feel well, other than that it's our job to be your best buds while you're here.  Harriet and Jerry, they will be your worst nightmares," he joked.

Harriet was a big woman, tall, with short blonde hair, "Every morning I'll come in about, what time is good for you?"

"I usually sleep until about ten," Jess told her tentatively.  This woman unnerved him.

"Not anymore, your options are six, seven, or eight am," she informed him.

"I'll guess we'll go with mediocrity.  Seven sounds good," Jess told her.

"Okay, then, every morning at seven I'll come in and we'll get you up, cleaned up, dressed and down to the eight am breakfast.  After that, Jerry here will proceed to make the rest of your morning that hardest day of your life.  It will long and hard and you'll beg us for mercy, but by the end of it, you'll be thankful that word isn't in our vocabulary."

Jerry was a black man, tall, lean, muscular, he smiled with bright white teeth and leaned over Jess, "My job is make sure these scrawny arms of your are hard as rocks, that the muscles in your legs stay healthy, and that you can swing you ass from this chair to the bed or to the john with less effort and more precision than Tarzan swings from a tree."

Jess listened and tried to take this all in, "All I want is to walk again.  I'll do whatever it takes."

The staff members in the room exchanged glances, all knew the prognosis, but each was delighted to hear this spirit, "All right, then.  That's what we like to hear," Harriet assured him. 

"Now, if the rest of you will excuse us," said Jerry. "Jess and I have some work to do."

The room emptied out quickly, leaving Jess alone with Jerry.  He liked Jerry, he was tough, business like, but he seemed to know his stuff.  That was all that Jess could ask for.  Wasn't it?

Meanwhile, Dr. Cameron was talking with Luke and Rory.  He sat behind a mahogany desk in a high back leather chair.  Rory and Luke saw in front of the desk in similar chairs.

"I'll get right to the point," Dr. Cameron began. "Jess is in St. Barbara's to learn to be independent.  Dr. Camden has explained the difference between complete and incomplete injuries and their recovery periods and possibilities.  What I need to talk to you two about are two things, preparation and encouragement."

"Preparation and encouragement," Rory repeated, "Got it."

Luke was in shock, he sat there and listened to Dr. Camden say it was impossible, he told Jess that himself, he'd told Lorelai that, but to hear Dr. Cameron saying it felt like a knife through the heart.

Luke cleared his throat, "What kind of preparation?"

"Well, having someone with Jess' limitations living with you takes a lot of hard work and will cause you to have to revise your lifestyle quite a bit.  Jess will need to live in a place that is all one floor or that has elevators or access to a stair lift.  He'll need a place with wide doors to all the room so his chair can fit through, he'll need to have a place with lower sinks and cabinets and with a stall shower, these are all things that people in Jess' condition need to live as independent of caregivers as possible," Dr. Cameron explained.

"I understand that," Luke nodded, "But I live above my diner on the second floor.  The place is a pit really, there's barely room…why are you shaking your head?" Luke asked when he noticed Jesse's expression.

"Luke, your place was barely able to accommodate you and Jess before," Rory told him gently, "I know I'm overstepping but you're going to have to get another place."

"I can't get another place.  That place is my place and Jess has to live with me. He can't live alone," Luke told her.  He was starting to get worried.  There was no way he could afford this hospital and a new place even with the insurance covering 75%.

"Maybe he could stay at our place.  It's bigger, the sink is really low in the kitchen and there's a stall shower in the downstairs bathroom.  I can move my room upstairs and he can have the one off the kitchen."

"Do you really want that responsibility, Rory?" Luke asked.

"Luke, Jess is in my life now, and I won't have to do it alone.  Mom will help and you're like a five minute walk from my house," Rory reasoned.

"We'd have to run this by Jess and your Mom, you know?" Luke told her.  "And it would only be temporary until I could find another place.  I won't be indebted to you and your mother."

"This is not something that has to be decided this minute, Luke, Rory," Dr. Cameron told them, "that's why I told you about it now. I know you are going to need some time to prepare, everyone does."

Luke nodded and rose from his seat, "Thanks for the warning."

Luke and Rory left the office and headed back to Jess' room to say goodbye.  The visiting hours at St. Barbara's were strict, only three hours in the afternoon and three in the evening.  All the others were for workouts.  The two walked along the hallway and when they almost reached Jess' room, Rory was sure she heard Jess' voice.

Luke felt a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach when he looked at Rory's face.  She broke into a run and charged into Jess' room.  It had been Jess' voice she'd heard.  He was lying across the bed, a large man bent over him manipulating his legs in all sorts of position. Rory took in the scene and saw Jess was perspiring profusely, gritting his teeth against the pain.

"What are you doing?" Rory demanded, rushing to Jess' side pulling him against her chest, gently smoothing the hair off his forehead. "It's all right, Jess, I'm here," she whispered.

"Dr. Camden warned us about his condition, the fractures and the pain, but we have to…" Jerry began to explain.

"I'm not interested in have to," Rory shot as she held Jess. "Jess, just try to take deep breaths okay.  Let it go, Jess, let the pain go."

"It hurts so much," he managed through clenched teeth.

"I know, Jess, I know," Rory said in a sing song voice as if she were speaking to a little child who was waking up from a nightmare. "I know."

Luke couldn't take it. He couldn't take seeing that.  This was the reason he hated hospitals, he hated seeing the pain and suffering, even in this one which was supposed to help and heal.  He had to get out of there, he had to get away.

Luke got in his truck and drove without stopping or slowing directly to the diner, where Lorelai seemed to have everything running smoothly.  She was refilling Miss Patty's cup when he came in shaking from the information and the scene he'd forced his brain to process.  He'd seen what was happening in that room and he wanted to knock the therapist on his ass, yet he knew it was for Jess' own good.

Lorelai saw Luke walk in practically shaking and hurried to him, "Luke, what's wrong?  What happened?"

"Nothing," he swatted her hand off his arm, "I'm fine."

"You're shaking," Lorelai countered.

"I said I'm fine," he snapped taking the coffee pot from her hand and began refilling cups himself.  "Go home."

"You need to rest, Luke, you've been running around, let me help you," she tried to reason with him, but Luke was closed to reason.

"I said go home, I don't need your help."  With that he ignored her, and went back to work.  Wounded Lorelai walked out of the diner and down the street.  This thing with Jess was going to break Luke.  She knew it.  He was so strong, so helpful, but this was going to break him.  Each time something happened to someone he cared about, it chipped at him a little, and then he fixed it.  But he couldn't fix this, and it would break his soul.  And she'd be there to glue it back together.  She had to be.

End Chapter Six