Strapped down. The thick bands around his wrists, ankles and chest cut into his skin, the blood eased the pain at first but then became sticky and just made everything worse. Struggling didn't help either but there was no way he would just lie here and take it. Everything was cold and white, the fluorescent lights over head hurt the eyes after a few minutes and made anything else that could have been in the room bleed into a bright haze.
What did they want this time? Yazoo turned his head to where he thought the door was. His eyes hurt and all he could make out was the I.V. stand beside the table he was on. The tubes ran different colored fluids into the back of his hand. It hurt, in a vague way that said it had felt that way for awhile.
The sound of the door opening and footsteps approaching. More white, white clad figures coming closer. Voices.
"He's conscious. Makes it a good time to start don't you think? Bring in the equipment."
More noise, squeaking wheels and the sound of things being pushed across the floor. Cold metal placed at his temples, he couldn't shake them off and someone just laughed when he tried.
"Everything is ready Sir. What setting should we start the subject at?"
"Start out somewhere in the middle. We can increase it from there."
"Sir, this had only been tested at the lowest settings-"
"You think I don't know that? Do as I tell you are find someone who will."
Electricity hummed in the room, at first there was nothing. Then it was like a pressure building in Yazoo's skull. It came from the metal attached to him. What is this trying to overwhelm him?
"By pushing the subjects brain waves to the max we can find out what he is really capable of. This one had proven to be extremely intelligent. Imagine what could happen if he was to be pushed to full capacity."
"Haven't others gone insane from this?"
"He is already insane. He has no morals, no sense of self really, he is the copy of the purest of madness."
The words were fading as the pressure was building. He couldn't hold it back any longer. It flickered in his minds eye and pulled everything he knew apart.
"Come here Kadaj. Stand up and take a few steps…"
His infant brother stood shakily. Looking at Yazoo as if asking Is this okay? Then he did it. One foot in front of the other, closer. He fell into Yazoo's arms laughing.
All around them the white walls and the small cameras that told them someone was always watching.
Loz was so much stronger than he was. When they fought together they were perfect. But when he left Yazoo alone it wasn't the same. Oh Yazoo could fight okay, but he didn't like being close. He didn't like the way his ten year old self was reflected in the dimming eyes of the man whose throat he had just ripped out.
The blood on his hands made him feel strange. Part of it was good and part of it was bad. He thought of what it would be like to do this to the people who hurt him and his brothers. That felt good, but this man had done nothing accept try to live. Yazoo didn't blame him for that. His blood felt dirty on his hands.
No, he didn't like to get close….
"I will take care of you. I know it hurts but you have to hold still"
The cuts were from a small blade that the man called 'scalpel' he had cut Yazoo with it ten times before he let him go. He had told him it was to see what he could take. The blood was running down his chest and back. Yazoo did not have the chance to tell him no. The man had hit him, hard. It made Yazoo's chest feel like it was being crushed and he couldn't speak and barely breath.
Loz was trying his best to make the blood stop. Yazoo was sitting on his brothers knee. He didn't say a word. He almost never spoke to the men in white but he would talk to his brothers. But when his blood ran he never spoke. It was as if talking would make it real. If he was silent then he could trick himself into thinking he wasn't really there. This was just a trick.
Kadaj was sitting on the bed near them watching the blood run down Yazoo's skin and Loz's leg to stain the white sheet red. As if in a trance the three year old reached out and gathered the crimson liquid on his fingers. He pulled his hand back staring at the blood as if it were talking to him. Then he licked it. Quickly, Like a cat would.
Yazoo watched his little brother. Kadaj licked until all the blood on his fingers was gone. When he was finished he looked up at Yazoo.
"You taste like beautiful."
Maybe this time the pain would finally kill him. The memories flashing through is mind threw everything into chaos. It was like he was being pushed onward, faster and faster until everything started to unravel. Soon the pain was the only thing telling him he was alive. He was a living breathing, thinking feeling creature. Someone was doing this to him. They were making him hurt like this. The pain was everything and nothing because he was nothing.
That was it, that's why they were doing this. He was nothing and therefore they didn't care. No one did. And when he was shattered into tiny pieces they would pull that white sheet over his face and he would disappear forever.
"No my Son. I made you and I will not let them break you. Come with me."
Who spoke? Did they mean him?
"Come with me Yazoo. You are my Son. I will take the pain away."
But the pain, the pain was everything. It was his existence.
"No my Son. I am your reason for life. I will shelter you from them. Come with me."
Go with her…. A reason to live.
"Yes Yazoo. You will live for me."
I will.
The pain stopped. Like a switch had been thrown. He knew the pressure was there still. The men in the lab coats had not shut off their machine. But it could not touch him. It seemed like there was a pane of glass between his mind and the rest of the world. An invisible barrier that separated him and held him apart.
"Your mind is your own now my son. Your chains to the world are broken and you are above their manipulations. The world is yours to observe unaffected by its chaos and petty misconceptions."
Everything was clear. He could feel, yes, but the panic that scrambled his thoughts was gone. It left behind cool logic and frosted emotion.
She had done this. She had delivered him and returned him to himself. Mother.
Yazoo opened his eyes. The men in the lab coats stared at him in shock. One of them hurried to shut off the machine. Another took the metal from his temples.
"What do you feel? Do you understand what I am telling you?"
Yazoo smiled. It was cold and predatory and made the men take a step back.
"I understand."
AN- Sorry I was in kind of a weird mood when I wrote this….
Review anyways?
