Date written: 04-21-06
Prompt: Whiskey Lullaby ( This isn't really a song fic...but it's the closest I've ever come to date. )
Pairing: Fujicest - YuutaOrig. - YuutaOrig. - YumikoOrig.
Disclaimer: If I owned Syusuke and Yuuta... and Yumiko... this wouldn't really happen...?
Warnings: Boys loving boys... boys kissing boys... implied sex... suicide.
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Till death do us part...
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Blue eyes staring at the cigarette, watching the tip burn a bright orange red in the darkness of the apartment. He idly wondered when he had started smoking, then remembered, after reaching to the side for the bottle of sake. He wouldn't lower himself to drink something as awful as beer for instance, but he needed something.
Yuuta had brought home a girl. She was completely gorgeous. Long black hair that curled slightly that fell to about her mid-back. Adorable figure. Not too curvy yet just curvy enough to look stunning in probably anything she would ever wear...or not wear.
"Oyaji-san...Okaa-san... this is Sakura... She's my fiancée..."
Yuuta had looked so proud and the girl's cheeks gained a blush that could have rivaled the very pale pink petals of the flower that her name mimicked.
Syusuke sat almost painfully still while his parents welcomed the girl with open arms, eagerly talking to her. Why had he been called home for this. He could have stayed away. He would have liked to. He looked to Yuuta, blue eyes open, confused, searching, yet finding absolutely nothing in his brother's gaze.
He coughed, moving the back of his hand over his mouth, eyes closing harshly before giving a small groan and slumping back into the largely stuffed chair, eyes reopening to drift around. Even being so drunk your throat would burn for days didn't stop the images. He found his breath catching, his heart skipping a beat, feeling the warm liquid sliding down his cheek before it even registered for what it was.
Yuuta's wedding was beautiful, his bride looked utterly beautiful, and who else to play best man but his beloved brother. Syusuke easily passed off every tearfilled glance with just saying 'I always cry at weddings...'. Ignoring the strong urge to just pull his brother against his chest and kiss him, tell him not to do this because that woman could never love him as much as he could, he put on a smile and cried constantly for the first time in ten years.
He didn't last through the reception, and left early, going and buying anything and everything he could find that people had said would give him a buzz...make his brain not work properly and took up residence in his home, forcing himself to put his body through it all so it would all just stop, even for a little while.
He lifted the cold bottle to his head, sighing heavily and giving another groan. The only thing his addictions proved was splitting headaches and far too painful morning afters. Though after finishing the bottle, the pain remained but his body tried to overrule his mind and succeeded.
Tonight would be the last night that he would ever have to think about his brother, his wife, and the beautiful son that Yuuta had been blessed with.
He stumbled into the bedroom, feeling giddy despite having painfully scrapped his knee over the bedside chest, reaching into the drawer and taking out a small wrapped package. A gift from an old friend. Vintage. One could only guess it's real value.
He smiled, slowly moving his finger to the trigger and grinning beyond his control at the way his finger seemed to fit perfectly before reaching back into the drawer, hiccuping faintly before scribbling his final goodbyes, pausing before writing out the last line...
'I'll love him till I die...'
He stared at the words before picking the silver and old but still wonderful looking gun, holding it to his head, his eyes suddenly burning with tears again, the bottle in his lap being relifted to his lips for one final drink before turning to set it aside and pulling the trigger.
He fell, laying almost elegant, his hand having fallen to the side, with the weight of the gun, and landing over the paper.
After being found only a half hour later, he was rushed to the hospital, his family contacted, his parents, siblings all rushing yet discovering that there hadn't even been hope, though presented with the paper.
Yuuta held it as his mother and sister cried heavily against each other, his father moving a hand onto his shoulder, eyes widening greatly as his eyes scanned the paper over and over before finding himself having fallen to his knees with a painful thud, hands wrinkling the paper and crying heavily.
No expense was too vast for Syusuke. They picked the perfect spot at a local cemetary. Beside a cherry tree. Syusuke and Yuuta would always catch the blossoms for a wish. One could only guess what those wishes had been.
After being dragged out with friends after the funeral, Syusuke wouldn't have wanted Yuuta to mope, he discovered that beer, while utterly gross, helped to take his mind away from things.
While no one else could have possibly known, he held the burden of knowing who him was in his brother's final letter. There was no way he could tell anyone. How could you tell someone...?
"Yuuta..." Syusuke muttered, breathless, blue eyes shining faintly in the pale moonlight spilling in from the window as he gingerly moved a hand over his brother's face, wiping the other over the sheet to rid the evidence from his hand. "Are you alright...?"
Unbelieveable. He had just let his... brother... sleep with him... He panted, before finding himself crying. Never again. He couldn't let this happen. No matter how natural it had felt. No! His brother!
"Get away from me, Aniki!" He shifted, his brother backing away almost instantly, looking as if he had just been hit. Had he just been hit?
Yuuta didn't know, he just had to get away from it all and made for the door before a hand caught his wrist. "Yuuta...!"
Hushed whispers, pleading blue eyes. It was all too much. The tears wouldn't stop. Why wouldn't they stop!
"Yuuta... I'll always love you..."
They both knew it was over. Syusuke wouldn't let himself ruin his brother's life like that. Yuuta wouldn't ever get past the facts of society. The both needed acceptance...and allowing such a thing to happen again would kill both hopes.
He grinned and the man beside him, the idea of his wife at home in bed, his children in bed, sleeping soundly didn't dare to cross his mind. He laughed, just keeping the drinks ordered as his newfound friend offered to buy him a couple more, just to see him smile.
Taking his last bottle to go, giving the man a rather strong kiss, only because he had blue eyes... and brown hair, before waving the bottle and muttering a 'See you later!'. He knew he couldn't go home like this and idly let himself walk to a nearby motel. They wouldn't ask questions if you had cash...
He collapsed on the bed, groaning and rolling himself over before pulling out his wallet, which seemed to be poking him in an odd angle before flipping it open and looking at his wife, his family. He turned to his parents. How long had it been since he'd actually been home?
Since Syusuke's death...
Aniki... He tensed a bit, turning and finding the young, smiling man before taking out the picture and just dropping his wallet to the floor. He bit his lip until it was painful, feeling the sharp burning in his eyes and the warmth sliding down his face.
"Aniki..."
He pushed himself onto his knees before grabbing the beer bottle and breaking it against the table, wincing at the loud sound before slowly pulling a piece of the glass up off the floor. He stared at the dark amber piece in the single light of the bedside lamp, gray eyes flickering over the edges before looking back to the picture of his brother on the bed beside him.
"I did that to you... I don't deserve..."
Something swallowed his last word before he drove the glass roughly across his wrist. He made a pained sound as he looked down to the blood dripping, panting softly before watching the warm current slide down his arm and stain his shirt.
He laughed softly before finding himself bringing the picture to his chest and holding it there, slowly moving his arm to his chest, curling up on his side a bit as if trying to warm himself back up, eyes closing slowly and just letting himself sleep.
He was found the next morning when the owner had come to make sure he was up in time for check out. His parents were devasted, his sister seemed either like she knew it would happen or like she was too much in shock to do anything but stare calmly as her brother was burried, beside her other.
Yuuta's wife hadn't made it, whether for a breakdown after hearing or doing so for the sake of her children not having to face it all just yet, no one knew.
Yumiko just moved a little closer to her husband, who looked a little worried for her, her eyes slowly moving up to watch the cherry blossoms as the wind blowed softly before lifting a hand to catch a blown small pink flower, pursing her lips.
"I wish that they can be together now... without having to worry anymore..."
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R+R?
