A/N: There isa part in this chapter where Rory and Jess begin to explore each other physically. There is nothing too heavy by my estimation so I'm leaving the rating alone for now. In the future, this rating may change although I do not see myself doing much more than what is in this section. I only went the way I did hear to demonstrate Jess' way of proving his committment, and of easing Rory's fears. Before this scene Rory and Jess have a conversation where he makes certain promises to her. Part of that dialouge is taken from the movie Stepmom and I neglected to credit the writers and producers for that movie. Thanks to raven13n for pointing out my faux pas. My apologies. Hope you enjoy. R/R! Thanks.
Jess lay in bed a few nights later and studied the ceiling. Rory lay snuggled against his side sound asleep. He was glad she was sleeping peacefully, getting rest. He'd had a few nights that had kept them awake, and she needed the rest.
He loved watching her sleep, this perfect creature who was his. Her hair felt across her back, just to a length that allowed him to play with its silkiness. Her face was angelic in sleep, not one brow furrowed or frown line, just elegant perfection.
Jess moved his head and placed a kiss on Rory's forehead. She stirred in her sleep, but instead of settling back down she made a small noise and tossed about, her once peaceful face contorting, the one time silence shattering as she whimpered and sobbed his name, "Jess!" she cried. "Jess, please, please speak to me. Don't leave me, don't leave me again. Please. Please," she sobbed.
"Rory," Jess said in her ear. "Rory, wake up, Baby. It's a dream, Rory!" Jess pushed himself up so he could shake Rory's shoulder as she continued to cry, "Rory!" he barked and finally she bolted awake sweating and shaking. Jess cupped her cheek with his hand, "Rory? Baby?"
It took a moment for Rory to register Jess' voice. When she did she turned to him flinging her arms around his neck and held on tight, "Oh my God!" she sobbed. "Oh my God!"
"Ssh," Jess said in her ear. "Ssh, it's all right, Baby. I'm here, it's all right."
"Oh, Jess, it was so horrible. We were in your car and it was raining and we skidded and hit a pole and there was so much blood and…" Rory took a breath and started crying again. "I asked you not to leave me again, Jess. I wouldn't survive it," she declared and buried her wet face in his shoulder.
Jess tightened his arms around her and kissed her hair, her cheeks, her eyes, and finally her lips. "I thought you should never say never," Rory whispered remembering a talk they had when they first dated.
"Well," Jess smiled and smoothed her hair back. "You can say never if you mean it enough to say it twice. I'll never, never leave you again."
Rory smiled, "It's like always always."
Jess kissed her nose, "Promise, promise."
"I love you," Rory whispered and tilted her head for a kiss.
"Me too," Jess whispered and claimed the prize that Rory offered to him.
Since the accident, Jess had shown Rory attention and affection when they weren't at odds with one another, but he'd never tried to step it up, to go beyond tender kisses and gentle caresses. Now, he felt compelled to move this to an entirely new level of heat and passion.
"Jess," Rory whimpered hoarsely. "I…But what about your…" Rory began to protest but was silence as Jess leaned in to silence her with a kiss.
It was a slow wondering kiss, a gentle touch that sought, but did not pursue, a delicate tasting of her lips that lacked the aggressiveness of masculine need. She quivered in his arms, her hands automatically moving to his shoulders to shove him away if he pressed beyond the guarded borders of intimacy she would accept. Jess didn't try to deepen the kiss. He raised his mouth and touched his nose to hers, lolling his head side to side in a soft, brushing movement.
After a long moment, he drew back slightly and let his gaze roam over her face with a certain curiosity. Rory couldn't look away from his eyes, watching his irises expand until they had almost become black. What was he thinking? What was on his mind that caused the sudden flash of desperation in those dark eyes, the shadow that crossed his face? His eyes lingered on the soft, trembling fullness of her lips, and then slowly lifted to meet her gaze. They stared at each other, so close that she could see her reflection in them and knew he could see himself in hers.
"I love your eyes, Rory. Their like deep blue pools," Jess whispered placing a kiss on each eyelid. "I could drown in your eyes."
Rory swallowed; her heart seemed to be rising to her throat. Her hands were still on his shoulders; beneath the warmth of his flesh she could feel the quivering in his muscles as he levered himself up on his elbows, the weight of his lower body still pressed into hers from the waist down. She could feel the pressure of his manhood against her belly. It warmed her almost as much as his next words did.
"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he murmured. "I love you so much, Baby. You are the best thing in my life, in my entire life."
She could not answer; instead, she shook her head blindly as fresh tears made her eyes glitter. He sucked in his breath and kissed her again. This time he was more aggressive, parting her lips and slowly penetrating her mouth with his tongue, giving her the time to decide if she would accept his caress. She was trembling in his arms, afraid to let herself be tempted by the gently touch, yet she was tempted, very much so. Her tongue moved hesitantly and touched his, withdrew, returned for another shy taste, and finally lingered. He tasted marvelous. He deepened the kiss, exploring the ridges of her teeth, the soft sweetness of her mouth. Rory lay quietly beneath him, aware of the growing force of his passion, yet she was still shocked when his mouth turned hard and demanding asking for more than she was ready to give.
"Jess," Rory gasped for breath, running her hands down his hard back. "Jess, we…I…and my Mom…"
"You're Mom and Luke are at the Dragonfly, it's only you and me, here…alone, together," he assured her and resumed his ministrations.
He pleaded, "Let me touch you…my God, I've go to touch you!"
Rory caught her breath on a sob as she felt his fingertips trace lightly over her chest and squeezed her eyes shut even more tightly than before. For a moment, she was frightened at the unfamiliarity of a man's touch on her, this was not a step she thought they should be taking. It was risky, it was foreign, and far too intimate for Rory's guarded emotions. Jess sensed her hesitation and spoke to soothe her, "Rory, honey, open you eyes. Look at me; look at how I'm shaking. Touching you makes me dizzy," he whispered fiercely. "Look at me love; look at me."
Rory's eyes fluttered open and she found that he'd moved closer, until his face was filling her vision, so his brown eyes were filled with undeniable emotion, love and hunger. His trembling fingers were still moving only lightly over her, though the heat of his hand burned her even through her nightgown.
"That…that's enough," she said, her voice thin, wavering out of control, "This isn't right."
"It's perfect," he cajoled, "I need you, Rory. It's been so long…can't you tell how much I need you? Please."
Even as the words were tumbling from his lips, his fingers were busy slipping the tiny pearl buttons on her nightgown free from the buttonholes. The buttons ran down to her waist and he worked until he'd undone every one of them while she lay helplessly transfixes at the force of his need. Slowly, he opened the gown and pushed it off her creamy white shoulders dropping the cloth down her arms and bearing her to the waist.
"I've dreamed of this," he whispered hoarsely, "You take my breath away," he whispered and lowered his head to give her the attention she needed to relax.
Rory began to tremble again, she didn't know what to do, how to handle this. She had no real experience with men, she's made out with Dean but she never let him see her, really see her, without clothing. Rory wanted Jess to see her that way, to be with her that way, but she couldn't help but feel badly for not being able to reciprocate, for not knowing how to give him the pleasure he was giving her.
"You're beautiful," Jess whispered and moved up to kiss her lips again. Finally, Rory could finally move and her fingers played with his hair at the base of his neck, moving his head down to her chest once again, wanting to feel that pleasure again. She thought dimly that she'd pull his head away, but instead she urged him on, relishing in the feel of his attentions.
Rory moaned a keening sound that reflected both the tumult he stirred in her and her fear of going any further. She'd spent too long nurturing this man, agonized over him too much, felt his pain, celebrated his triumphs as he began to regain his strength and use of his arms, loved him, cared for him. How could she refuse him now? She nodded her head, silently letting him know that she'd let him love her. He looked into her eyes and saw her fear. He gently brushed a hair back from her face and whispered, "It's all right, Baby. It's all right. You know I won't hurt you. I would never hurt you. Let's get you out of this."
Slowly he slid the nightgown the rest of the way down her body and with her assistance shed his own clothing. Her eyes were still wide opened, drawing his gaze, letting him know that she was giving herself to him, that she was doing this for him. She was afraid of this intimacy, but she trusted him and believed he'd not hurt her. Even with that assurance, when he pushed her thighs open to settle between them, she stiffened and closed her legs.
"No, honey, don't. I'm going to make love to you. I'm going to make it beautiful," he whispered as she relaxed and he slowly and gently reached to her private area to touch the forbidden area.
"You're ready," he whispered, "You feel so good."
Rory moaned as she felt his hands on her and lifted her hips to encourage him to go further, to show her what he knew, to take her to the wonderful place that he promised he show her. Instead of taking her though, Jess abruptly stopped his ministrations, and leaned against Rory's chest, breathing hard.
"Jess?" she asked, confused as to why he stopped when she just wanted him to start.
"I can't uh…I…I don't know how to do this, uh, like this, and…" he turned his face away embarrassed to continue.
Rory understood and nodded, "It's all right. I don't know how to do this either, we're in uncharted territory."
Jess lifted his head and turned back to Rory, "I want to know how to do this, how to be with you like that. But…I'm not even sure if it works."
Rory sensed his meaning and blushed deeply. Trying to lighten the mood she smiled, "Oh, it works," she replied and he laughed.
"Huh," Jess responded. "Good to know. Can you get some more sleep now?" he asked tenderly brushing a piece of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.
"Yes," Rory replied. "Please hold me," she requested.
Jess too her and pulled her closer to his side, pressing her head against his shoulder. Rory put her arm around his waist and whispered, "Let's just hold each other for the rest of our lives."
Jess kissed her forehead again, "That's my plan," he replied as they both drifted off to sleep.
In the morning, Rory woke early to make coffee and squeeze juice before she headed to class and Jess went to work at the diner. It took Jess awhile to get ready in the morning because he insisted on doing things all on his own, but doing that made him feel good so Rory tried not to usurp him. Their cereal bars and beverages were ready by the time he showered and dressed. They ate together, then Rory got ready. It was ideal with her schedule and is that they do it this way.
Rory's transfer to Southern Connecticut State College made her work load easier so she could afford to spend the time commuting, working in the diner, and caring for Jess. Yale wasn't located inconveniently, but the work was so intense it buried her, she needed to be free of that to be with Jess, and they both knew it.
Jess was in an excellent mood when he got to the diner that morning. He and Rory he believed finally defined where their relationship was going, and that was all the way, not stopping until they made it to the end of what he prayed would be a very long straight road.
"Good morning, Luke, Lorelai," Jess greeted. "Where do you need me?"
"Um refill some coffees and waters," Luke replied and couldn't suppress a chuckle at Jess' jolliness.
"He's in a good mood," Luke said. "I mean the last three weeks have been better, but he's very…" Luke paused when he noticed Lorelai looked worried.
"What's wrong? Aren't you happy about this?"
"Luke…I'm glad Jess is happy, but think…he's really happy, we spent the night at the Dragonfly, they were at the house, all night, alone, come on…" Lorelai painted.
"You mean," Luke's tone was hushed. "You think they were…you...he can't…can he?"
Lorelai shrugged, "I don't know, but it makes sense. You get exceptionally cheerful when we've just connected on a certain level."
Lorelai watched Luke's face turn several shades of red before h called out, "Jess, can I see you in the storeroom?"
Jess put down the coffee pot and joined Luke, "What's up?"
"What happened between you and Rory last night?"
"Nothing. We talked, we ate, we watched a movie, we went to bed," Jess replied.
"Together?" Luke asked.
"Yes, for like two months, Luke," replied Jess. "But we slept together, we didn't sleep together."
"Then why so happy?" Luke asked. "You're never this happy."
"Because we talked okay…we talked and I realized that I'm done," Jess answered. "I have what I never thought I'd want, but now that I do…I realized last night I want to spend the rest of my life with Rory, and even better, she wants to do the same with me. That tends to make you pretty happy."
Luke thought of Lorelai for a minute, "Yeah, it does."
"Oh, by the way, Luke, I have to go to the mall later. Rory wants me to get her school stuff," Jess told him.
"Oh, I hate the mall. Anyway, I have that meeting with the guy Richard Gilmore recommended to file a countersuit against Taylor," Luke replied. "Cant' you ask Lorelai to take you?"
"No, Rory said you. She says Lorelai likes to make the post it notes talk and buys flashy pads, and so," Jess countered.
"Can we go tomorrow then?"
"Nope, has to be today. Rory made a list," Jess replied. "Anyway, you'll all ready be in Hartford. Take me to the lawyers. You always two sets of ears…"
"Okay, after the lawyer we'll go to the mall and get whatever she needs you to get.
"Great," Jess said turning to go out of the door. "And thanks."
Luke knew Jess well enough to know the younger man was not only thanking him for the loyalty and support of the past months, "Ah, go and refill the coffees," Luke replied and started taking inventory with a smile on his face.
In Hartford Plaza later that day as Jess and Luke exited the Office Supply Depot, Jess' chair loaded with bags, he and Luke discussed the advice they'd heard from the Gilmore's lawyer.
"Apparently, he thinks we can get enough money from Taylor for the deformation of character suit to pay back Richard and have some left over," Luke said. "Please now that I sublet your Grandpa's place, we have some breathing room."
"You should have asked Richard for advice a long time ago," Jess said.
"I know, but Lorelai…"
"Speaking of Lorelai, when are you going to do it?" Jess interjected.
"I think you all ready know that answer," Luke smirked.
'No, I mean propose. When are you going to pop the question?" Jess asked.
"Well," Luke blushed. "We haven't been together that long."
"Sure you have. You said it, you and Lorelai have been together forever. You just didn't know it."
"True, but Lorelai can be very skittish," Luke reminded him.
"So can you, Uncle Luke," Jess countered and turned his wheelchair towards the Kay jewelers.
"Jess," Luke called after him when he realized where he was going. "What are you doing?"
"Impulse buying," Jess offered as his only reply.
