Chapter 2: Must come off

Disclaimer: Pepperland is a fictional town. Any resemblance to a real town is coincidental.

The party entered the tiny town of Pepperland, strolling down the sidewalk. The open, unadulterated strip mall atmosphere of the place starkly contrasted with the claustrophobic effect Traverse Town had on its tourists. The buildings were glass and steel, mingled with the occasional brick. The roads were clogged with angry motorists.

It's been said that golf is a nice walk spoiled by a small, round, solid, white object. Our heroes' walk was spoiled by a pack of large, shapeless, ephemeral, black shadows; Heartless. The standard procedure for such encounters was to whip out their weapons, bash the offending critters over the head, wash, rinse, and repeat. This time was no different from any other and victory came easily. Instead of yellow and blue pieces of munny, the Heartless left behind pieces of green paper with the faces of dead US presidents on the front. Andrew Jackson would have been glad to be out of the hands of those filthy heartless rustlers. Unfortunately, he wasn't around, so the threesome had to settle for rescuing George Washington.

"Hey, this munny looks funny!" complained Donald.

"Donald, that rhymes! A-hyuck!" Goofy observed.

"Shut up, dumb dog!" Donald raised his staff to strike Goofy, but the dumb dog ducked in time. Donald spun one hundred and eighty degrees and hit an approaching Heartless. The shadow burst into a shower of dollar bills.

"Ever notice that we're taking money from them?" Jiminy said. "It's stealing! Stealing is wrong!"

No one replied at first.

"That didn't stop Leon from trying to take the Keyblade from me in Traverse Town," said Sora.

Jiminy nodded and made a note in his journal: Upon returning to Traverse Town, lecture Leon on proper etiquette and morals, i.e., don't attack a child in the middle of a crowded town with an unregistered gunblade. He looked up and spotted a striped pole in front of a shop. "Come on, Sora. Let's get that hair tamed."

"It did bother me during the fight," Sora admitted.

"That settles it," Jiminy said firmly, before Goofy or especially Donald could object. "We're going to that barbershop right there." e during the fight," Sora admitted.

"That settles it," Jiminy said firmly, before Goofy or especially Donald could object. "We're going to that barber shop right there."

Goofy read the sign on the shop's door. "Curl Up & Dye Hair Salon. Sounds inviting." He opened the door and let the others file in.

There was only one barber on duty. "May I help you children?"

"Children!" Donald raised his staff, but Goofy grabbed his wrist before he could swing. "Let go!"

The barber ignored him and turned to Sora. "How much do you want off?"

"Just enough to make him stop looking like a young hippie," Donald said.

Sora found a use for his oversized yellow shoes – stomping on the bare feet of annoying ducks.

"Waaak!" Donald assumed his angry pose: hopping on one foot, kicking with the other, one fist straight out, and the other fist swinging wildly. "He wants you to shave him bald."

Sora defensively covered his hair with his hands. "No. Just six inches. And I want the bangs gone."

The barber decided to listen to Sora and snipped away at the brown hair with his scissors. "Voila! You look like one of the Beat—er, Mop Tops. I remember when people thought their hair was way too long, and then men started growing hair to their waists." He sighed, noticed that his shift was over and wandered to his Volkswagen Rutle and drove off.

Goofy's stomach growled loudly. "Gawrsh, we just ate yesterday. Why am I hungry again?"

"When we were sealing Keyholes, we hardly stopped anywhere to eat," Sora pointed out.

"I'm hungry too!" said Donald.

The party walked farther down the street, bypassing a bookshop, three Starbucks, an office building, a police station, another Starbucks, and a clothing store. Finally, they stopped in front of General Confucius Chinese Cuisine and stepped inside.

The manager greeted them, looking flustered. "We're short several waiters, so I'll be your server…oh, you must be the delivery boy bringing a fresh supply of food."

It was at that moment Donald noticed the restaurant motto on the wall: "Confucius says if you want more luck, eat more duck!" His feathers flushed red. "Waaaaaaak!" The angry duck drew his staff and brought it down on the manager's head.

The hapless manager went down, alive but unconscious.

"Why didn't he see stars?" Goofy asked. "Or birds?"

"Why is he still down?" Donald asked.

"Sora," Jiminy began. "I think we should run."

Sora agreed, defining the better part of valor. "I think so too."

All four screamed and ran out, Goofy going first with his shield in front of him, but forgetting to open the glass door.

End Chapter 2