A/N: Happy New Year Everyone! It's 2006! Woo! Okay, let's get this show on the road! I'm feeling rather inspired today, so without any delays, disclaimer, Inuyasha!

Inu: (Groans) Do I have to?
Me: Yes, or else.
Inu: Fine. Aki doesn't own me or my series, and she only owns the plot and her characters in this story, she doesn't own, so don't sue. She also doesn't own Naruto or Star Wars. Or any of the ideas she's borrowed from other authors in past chapters. She also would like to say that in a small fun fic entitled "The Desecration of Haru" which was written December 28, 2005 wherein Haru is brutally –erm- castrated by Dragon Man. It's very short and available to read upon request, or it can be posted on the site. Please note, that it was influenced by recent consumption of ramen. She would also say that this fic has reached the 200 page mark in Microsoft Word, and would like to inform you that this fic's predecessor's entire length was 274 pages, with 45 chapters. This so far is only 18, now 19, so it is quite likely this fic may extend to over 300 pages in Microsoft Word. Now I'm gonna shut up because Aki's making me sound OOC with all these huge words and I sound intelligent. Oi! What the hell, wench? I'm not stupid!
Me: (Shoves Inu away) Anyways, please enjoy chapter 19!


Chapter Nineteen: Why?

Reika did not look at Mei Lhi or even seem to acknowledge her presence. Ryouji and Megumi were stunned.

"Reika-sama!" Megumi exclaimed, breaking the tense silence. "Surely, you are not here to-"

The Earth Ryuu broke off, unable to finish the sentence. Reika glanced at her for a second, her gaze on her cousin. She strode past, amidst all the cries of protest uttered from everyone. She stopped and knelt at her cousin's side. Mei Lhi's gold eyes met her violet ones.

"Please…don't take him from me…I don't know…what I would do…" she said, barely above a whisper.

Reika broke her gaze with the hanyou, looking down to her cousin's chest where the wound was, still undressed and exposed. She sighed in annoyance. She shut her eyes briefly and took a deep calming breath.

Her hands moved to Kyo's yukata, and in a swift motion, ripped the fabric with ease, pulling the bloodstained garment off him. Deftly, she pressed her hands against the wound and applied pressure, making Kyo grunt and begin to shift from the pain. Reika shot Mei Lhi a look. Immediately, the hanyou was helping keep him still. The child of the anti-life began to whisper a chant under her breath and Kyo began to yell.

"Come on, you bastard. Get out." She hissed angrily in Ryuuyoukai. "You're not taking him with you. He still needs to live! He has an unfulfilled purpose and I swear to Kami-sama and the Fates, I will not let you take him from the plane in which he belongs."

Megumi's tension relaxed as she realized at last what Reika was trying to do. She was not here to collect her son's soul. She was here to save him.

-

Mei Lhi felt tears come to her eyes. It hadn't been the first time she had to witness Kyo in such pain. Instead of her brother and Miroku holding him down, it was her. Tears streaked down her face as memories of that day resurfaced. She had felt as if her heart were breaking in two. She remembered then, that she didn't know how much she truly loved him. But now, here she was, three years later, his mate and carrying his child, at his side as fate once again tried to break her, as it had many times before. Fate had done many cruel things to her. Ever since she was born, Fate, it seemed, never liked her all that much. It had only been a year when her father died, and shortly after, her mother as well. And then two years after that, the one woman who treated her like a real person was killed. She had been alone and almost killed, if it hadn't been for Hana. Then, she had almost killed her brother, and he almost did the same to her. After that, Kikyou had tried to take her soul, and the samurai from the village where she lost Kiori appeared. Hakaru turned out to be the enemy, and then Kyo appeared. It was a brief turn of fate. But it didn't last. Fate instead decided that for this one good thing, to counterbalance it, she would be haunted with nightmares of those she loved dying. And then…there was the day when Kyo came from the sky with Megumi, barely alive. Hana had had to seal his wound, and he had cried out then too. Today was so much like that day. However, Fate's cruelty did not end there. Fate had made it so that her nightmare of Kyo's death had nearly come true, and she was almost unable to stop it. And then, there was that day…that day when Kikyou took Inuyasha to hell; and so ensued her two and a half years of depression and anger, silently condemning the world at its unfairness. Then Harukichi stepped in and everything just became much worse. He tried to kill her, to stop Kyo from loving her. Ever since they'd met, Harukichi had either been trying to kill her or kill Kyo. And with Haru starting to get involved, she could only imagine how much worse things were going to become.

"Mei…?" A voice whispered weakly.

The hanyou girl's thoughts were jarred and she looked up to her mate who lay staring at her.

"Kyoshi-kun!" she exclaimed, relieved, taking him into her arms, letting his head rest on her lap.

Then she looked to Reika, who held the miasma in her hands, in the process of absorbing it into her body. (A/N: Since she's the spirit of death, she's immune to everything but light and life. Seeing as poisoning is a way of death, naturally, she'd be unaffected.)

"Thank you…"

Another tear streaked down the hanyou's face. Reika said nothing; she simply continued working, now dressing the wound. She finished tying off the bandage, bowing slightly, excusing herself from the room.

"Mei, please, don't cry…" Kyo said, still whispering.

"Gomen nasai…I-I can't help it…I was so scared, Kyoshi-kun…I thought I was really going to lose you. And I can't lose you! I need you!"

The Ryuuyoukai reached upwards and touched his beloved's face. "You'll never lose me…" Here, he captured the hanyou's lips into a kiss, gradually deepening as the fires of desire and passion ignited.

Megumi's face flushed a vivid red and she turned to her husband who simply smirked and laughed for a moment. The two of them suddenly decided to leave as the aura of arousal started to grow, thinking it was best to not stay and witness what was coming next.

(A/N: I'm letting you all have imagination time for that one up there. So if you wanted a lemon, MEH! Oh well. I dun do lemons unless they're absolutely positively necessary circumstances! Besides, does anyone know how embarrassing it is to write those? -- Anyways…back to story time! XD)

-

"About what time would be a good time to go back and check on them?" Megumi asked, her face slightly flushed, clearly still embarrassed about what she had almost just seen.

"I'd give them a few hours." Ryouji replied.

"A few hours?" Megumi exclaimed, her eyes wide. "Do they really need that long?"

"Of course. Time to do it, time to rest, time to dress, maybe some time to eat…"

"Ryou-kun!" The Earth Ryuu said with a gasp. "Don't be so…so…blunt about it, dear. You know that talk of such things is quite awkward for me to listen to."

Ryouji smirked again. "Ah, but that is the reason why I'm doing it, my dear Megumi-chan. Besides, a few hours won't seem long…I have an idea as to how we can pass the time…" The Suna Ryuu grinned.

Megumi gasped, her blush increasing before going into her mate's arms.

(A/N: o.O everyone's rather umm…excited today…Scary… x.x)

-

"Tsurugi!" Hana exclaimed, relieved as her son ran into her arms.

"It's safe now, Hahaue?" he asked.

"Hai, they're gone now."

Jaken came out from the shadows. Immediately, the miko-youkai grabbed the toad and hugged him tight.

"Arigatou gozaimasu, Jaken. You have truly proven your worth. Thank you so much for protecting Tsurugi." She said, squeezing the youkai so hard that he could barely breathe.

"Hana-sama, your appreciation is welcome, but I'm afraid I can't breathe very well." He said.

Hana released him with an apologetic look, and so the entire family was reunited. Rin and Tsukimisou were overjoyed to see their brother perfectly safe, and tackle-hugged him the moment he came into view. Sesshoumaru even embraced the boy.

At that moment, everyone was just happy that they could be together.

-

Toji sighed, waiting for Reika to return. She had vanished and hadn't reappeared for the longest time. He was starting to get worried, and hoped she hadn't run into Haru along the way. As if reading his thoughts, Reika strode into the room.

"Are you alright?" He asked concernedly.

"I'm fine." She replied flatly.

"What happened? Were Sesshoumaru's children alright?"

Reika looked away, not wanting to speak. Toji approached her, taking her hand into his, looking into her eyes imploringly.

"Please, tell me what happened Miss…"

"No…"

"Reika…please."

"Haru…that bastard…"

"What did he do?"

"H-he…tried to make the children, the girls…he tried to make them commit seppuku. Tsukimisou, the young one, she was going to go first…I was…so disgusted that he'd try to do such a thing. It's not their time. They have long lives ahead. And that BASTARD wanted to destroy them just so the damned Tora no Taisho could have the Western Lands. The children were simply a bargaining chip. He didn't care that he'd be killing those innocent little girls. All he wanted to do was just have some sick, underhanded way of having even the slightest advantage over Sesshoumaru. That man disgusts me. He's just…heartless and cold. It's not Sesshoumaru's fault that Haru is too ignorant to think of a plan that doesn't involve taking innocent lives long before their time. It's not Sesshoumaru's fault that Inutaisho taught him how to restrain his emotions and not give into pressure. That bastard deserves to be tortured. I hope his black soul burns in hell once he decides to pass on. He deserves to suffer…for what he has done to those girls…to me…and to everyone else that has had their own lives turn from good to misery because of the likes of him."

Toji tried to get the girl to look him in the eye, but she refused to meet his gaze.

"Reika, you said before…that you were cold and felt nothing at all. How can that be? You care desperately about those girls. You said you weren't beautiful. I say different. Your soul is beautiful, and caring. And you, you are beautiful. Obviously the things you've been told to believe are false. You're not the person everyone says you are. You're not even the person that you believe you are. Nor are you the person who was tricked by everyone else's lies and somewhat turned into the very thing you were supposed to be."

Toji had no idea if his words made any sense. They just started to pour out of him and he couldn't stop it.

"You're someone far greater than that. You're not like Haru, or like anything that everyone says you are. You're not an abomination, you're not a plague. Many fear death and despise it, but what many people fail to realize is just how beautiful such a thing as death is. The eternal peace and the ability to live out your wildest dreams, defying laws of gravity and time. If that is not beauty, then I don't know what is."

Reika froze. "Why-why are you saying this? Why do you have to keep saying these things? Why?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"It's just the truth, miss. But you don't realize this truth yet, miss."

The girl rounded on him fiercely. "Why do you keep talking like this? Why are you so kind to me? What do you want from me? Do you just want to mock me? Do you want to exploit my weaknesses? Is that what you're here for? To tell your master that I can be broken? Why don't you ever leave me alone?" she screamed.

Toji looked at the floor, obviously hurt. He released his gentle grip on the girl's hand, taking a few steps backwards, away from her, closer to the door.

"I only say those things…because they are what I believe. I am kind to you, because I know how it feels to be outcast. I want nothing from you; I simply want to be your companion. I do not wish to mock you. That is a terrible pain to want to give to anyone. If I had wanted to exploit your weaknesses, I would have done so, long ago. But I have not, and I never will. My master would not care if you can break or not. We all breakdown at some point. I don't leave you alone because I swore to look after you, and you agreed. But…if you wish it…I will leave you alone. I'm sorry to have caused you such distress. I bid you farewell. I'll never disturb you from this point on." He said finally.

Reika watched as Toji began to walk out the door. He closed it with a firm snap, and it was then that what Reika had just done hit her. Mortified, she felt fear clutch at every fiber of her being. She scrambled to the door as quickly as she could, tearing it open, rushing down the hall.

"Toji! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! PLEASE! I'M SORRY! TOJIIIIII!" She wailed.

But the hallway was empty, and Toji was no where in sight. No one was anywhere in sight. Crumpling to the floor, she felt tears streak down her cheeks, and she wept in the middle of the hallway, the stabbing pain of guilt piercing her heart with repeated strikes. She felt emptiness once more as the shuddering sobs racked her body. She stayed there for hours, days it seemed, and she cried still.

She hated herself for what she had done. The one person who was her shield and savior against Haru was now gone. And she was the one that pushed him away. That thought alone made her realize how horrible of a person she was. She cursed herself for pushing away her companion. She damned herself to hell, and felt that she deserved a deeper ring of hell than Haru himself. And still, from day to twilight she cried, with each tear that fell, another piece of her died away.

'I am alone…and will always be…'

-

"Hmph. What's happened, girl?" Haru asked, staring down at the sobbing girl at his feet.

Haru sighed and without a word picked up the girl who still cried, but now screamed and kicked at him. He ignored her feeble attempts and kept walking until she eventually stopped and gave up, going limp. Approaching his quarters, he went to the room next door, which was Reika's, and unceremoniously tossed her into the room, slamming the door.

And then the screaming began.

Haru felt annoyance as he listened to his apprentice shrieking at the top of her lungs, every now and then hearing thumping noises which he assumed wherein the girl would slam her fist into the walls or kick at the floor, much like a young child throwing a tantrum.

At last it became too much for him to concentrate. He briskly rose, throwing open the door.

"Silence!" He yelled forcefully. "If you do not quit your incessant whining I will have to punish you. You can cry like a woman later. But now is not the time! I do not care what happened between you and that boy, but the whole house does not need to hear about it! Nor do I! Do you understand?"

Reika's sobs quieted and she nodded slowly.

"Now pull yourself together and get to work!"

The girl nodded again, drying her eyes at last, doing as she was bidden.

Back to square one again…

-

Mei Lhi and Kyo awoke to the screams. Ryouji and Megumi did also.

"Someone is in pain…great pain…" Mei Lhi whispered.

Kyo nodded solemnly. "Something terrible must've happened…" he agreed.

"They must have lost someone they really cared about."

"Hai…there is no greater pain than losing someone you love."

-

Inuyasha yawned and stretched before he lifted the stack of freshly chopped wood. He'd spent the morning cutting the wood, against the servants' wishes, but promised to give them the wood when he'd finished. He sniffed the air for any sign of his sister's possible return, but sighed.

Nothing. Not even the slightest hint of a whiff. He was starting to get worried. Did Kyo die? Was she up in the North being tortured or in pain? Did she follow Kyo into death? He shook these thoughts from his mind and brought the wood in, the servants graciously accepting it and thanking the hanyou. He passively accepted their gestures of thanks, going back outside to put his haori back on, looking to the sky where he noticed a large shape that appeared to be coming closer. He smirked.

'Heh. She's alright, and so is Kyo. I don't know what I was so worried about in the first place. Imouto-chan can take care of herself.'

The large shape turned into his sister and Kyo in Ryuu form. Kyo landed in the courtyard, transforming, when the wind had died down, revealing him carrying his mate, whom he set down gently.

"Well, we're back." Mei Lhi said brightly.

"Keh. About time. You two only took long enough." Inuyasha replied.

"Well I didn't want Kyoshi-kun to be flying while he was still healing. It would've been bad if his wound reopened. I made him wait until he was fully healed."

"You're acting like ofukuro. I used to get little cuts and she wouldn't let me play until it was healed."

"Hai, Kiori-san did the same for me."

Inuyasha decided not to push the matter further.

"Oi, let's go inside. Everyone's probably missed you."

The hanyou girl nodded and walked inside, following after her were Kyo and Inuyasha.

-

"You hired geisha?" Kagome asked.

"Hai," Sesshoumaru replied.

"It was actually my idea," Hana admitted. "I feel that their liveliness and talent will help brighten the mood for the summer festival."

"Sugoi! I can't wait to meet the geisha. They're all so pretty and so smart and clever!" Rin exclaimed.

"When will they be arriving?" Mei Lhi asked.

"They should be arriving soon actually. The festival won't be for another couple of days, and invitations are still going around." Hana answered.

Jaken bustled into the room.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Hana-sama! They've arrived milord!" He announced.

"Then let them in, Jaken-sama!" Rin said cheerily.

"Oi! I don't take orders from you, Rin!"

"Chichiue!"

"Jaken…" Sesshoumaru said in a level voice, turning to the toad youkai with a blank stare.

"H-hai, Sesshoumaru-sama?" The toad replied nervously.

"You will follow Rin-chan's order. Let our guests in and see that they're comfortable."

"Hai Sesshoumaru-sama!"

(A/N: I love festivals, and I've recently seen "Memoirs of a Geisha". I absolutely loved that movie. Now I wanna be a geisha, lol. Had to work the geisha in somehow or else I would harp about it for all eternity. XD And that'd get annoying real quick.)

The toad rushed off, nearly tripping on his way out, much to Rin, Tsukimisou, and Tsurugi's amusement.

"The geisha are here! The geisha are here!" Rin sang out cheerfully.

Mei Lhi grinned at the girl's antics and patted her lightly on the head.

"Don't get too excited now, you'll want to save all that cuteness for when you meet them!" She said with a smile.

"Hai!"

-

The geisha slowly filtered into the room and took seats at the low table, servants appearing out of nowhere to pour them tea, even more servants appearing to tend to the needs of the guests, and yet even more who rushed off to the kitchen to have the cooks prepare a large meal.

Once the geisha were settled in, Sesshoumaru, Hana, Rin, and the others (A/N: Seriously, would you want to type out everyone's name?) entered, also taking seats. The geisha smiled at their hosts, all of them bowing politely.

"It was most kind of you to invite us here, Sesshoumaru-sama," one of the geisha said. "My name is Mameha, and I am the head geisha here. So please if there are any questions, concerns, or problems, do feel free to ask me about it." Mameha continued. "Many of the geisha here are simply maiko, but I assure you that they are very talented." (Maiko: geisha in training, apprentice geisha)

"The pleasure is ours, Mameha-sama. It is an honor for you to come such a way just to be here for our festival." Hana replied.

Mameha simply bowed her head politely. "Perhaps I should introduce you to the girls…" she suggested.

At this, Rin got excited and looked up at Mameha expectantly. Mameha smiled at Rin, and turned to her left. "This maiko, her name is Akiko," Akiko bowed her head. "This is Tayuya," Tayuya also bowed her head. "Ichigo," She bowed. "Hatsumomo," She also bowed. "Yukiko," Yet another bow. "Kohana," More bowing. "And this is my best maiko, Haruka."

The one called Haruka looked up with her violet eyes, which seemed full of sadness. She inclined her head slightly, and then her expression remained somber from then on.

There was a period of silence while everyone sipped at their tea, only to be interrupted by a rather hyperactive three-year-old Inu child.

"Tsuki-chan would like to be a geisha too!" Tsukimisou exclaimed happily. "Tsuki-chan wants to dress in pretty kimonos and twirl fans and dance!"

Haruka turned to the girl and smiled slightly. "Now, now, being a geisha isn't all about dressing nicely and twirling fans. Being a geisha takes hard work. It is not the beautiful world it seems to be." She said in a kind voice.

Tsukimisou turned to her. "Is it really hard work?"

"Hai, at times it can be."

The young girl found herself fascinated with this geisha; she had in a way become her idol. The Inu child aspired to become just like her, secretly, of course.

-

It was night now, and Tsukimisou stealthily slipped out of bed, heading to the guest quarters. Padding softly down the halls, she approached the door and slid it open quietly, squeezing in as silently as she could.

"Anno…anno…" she began, unable to find words.

"Mmm…?" A sleepy voice replied.

"I'm sorry to come in without being invited, Haruka-sama,"

"Who's in my room?"

"I am Tsuki-chan!"

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to ask you if you could teach me how to become a geisha."

Haruka sat up and motioned the Inu child over towards her. It was then Tsukimisou saw her geisha idol up close, her true features not hidden behind a mask of white makeup and red lips. The violet eyes that stared into her own golden ones were so familiar. The dark hair that Haruka had it was all so familiar. Then it all clicked. The child gasped.

"R-Reika-sama…?" she asked.

Haruka seemed slightly shocked for a moment, and then nodded albeit reluctantly. "Hai, it is me…" she replied. (A/N: Girls who come the okiya, a house where girls learn to become geisha, were usually sold to the house and retained their names their parents gave them. But upon becoming geisha, they are given a new name. What I believe it's for is to represent the coming of age of a girl, and transforming from the girl she once was into a geisha.)

"I didn't know you were a geisha, Reika-sama."

"Hai, it is one of the things I do with my time. I am sorry, but I cannot teach you how to be a geisha. I am simply a maiko, and you are very young. Also, your mother would not approve of a geisha lifestyle for her children."

"I see…well, can I ask you a few things?"

"If you like, I suppose you can."

"Why did you save me from the game?"

"I did what was right."

"I know Aneue was lying…about it being a game. What is seppuku, Reika-sama?"

Reika looked down and sighed. "It's suicide. A ritual suicide, where men will disembowel themselves and women will simply slit their throats. It is a way to die an honorable death when one has found themselves overwhelmed with their own shame, weakness, or other such things."

Tsukimisou stayed silent for a few seconds. "Then…you stopped me, why?"

"It was not your time to die. I wished for you to fully live out your life. You have a long path ahead of you. It would have been quite a loss if it were all to end."

"Arigatou gozaimasu, Reika-sama."

Reika nodded, and waited for any more of the girl's questions.

"Why are you so sad, Reika-sama?"

"I've lost someone dear to me."

"You mean they died?"

"No…I said some things I did not mean, and…I chased him away."

"Will he come back?"

"I don't think he will."

"Well then we'll have to go find him! He might be lost after you chased him away. Maybe he wants to find you again, but he just can't because he's lost!"

"It's not like that Tsuki-chan. It's not that simple. I wish it was."

"Everything will work out fine! I'll help you!"

Tsukimisou yawned. It must've been getting awfully late. The Inu child only just then realized how terribly exhausted she was.

"I'll start tomorrow! I'm too sleepy right now, Reika-sama. Is that alright with you?"

Reika smiled a small smile. "Hai, that is fine."

"Oyasuminasai, Reika-sama."

"Oyasuminasai, Tsuki-chan."

And then she left.

-

"I believe this festival will be most beneficial to all the maiko. Haruka's mizuage is ripe, and perhaps the festival will help bring many men of power to bid on her." Mameha said the next day at tea. (A/N: Mizuage is a geisha's virginity. In order for geisha to be relieved of debts and gain freedom, they sell their virginity to the person who bids highest for it. This is NOT prostitution. Prostitution is simply having sex for the sake of sex. Selling your mizuage is gaining your freedom, and you do not necessarily have to have sex always afterward. It is a geisha's choice to involve themselves in sexual activity after their mizuage has been sold.)

At this Haruka looked up. "I'm going to be bid on so soon?" she asked.

"Hai, you are ready now." Mameha replied.

Haruka nodded in understanding. "Hai, I will accept this honor, arigatou, Onee-san."

Hatsumomo looked absolutely livid. Haruka shot her a glare before any protests could be made.

Mei Lhi watched as Haruka's eyes flashed with anger and despair at the same time. Then she realized where she remembered such eyes. Tsukimisou seemed to have noticed her aunt's reaction and nodded, giving her a look that clearly read she had something to say in private. The hanyou girl nodded and returned to her tea.

-

"Mei-oba-san, Haruka-sama is Reika-sama!" Tsukimisou exclaimed.

"Hai, I recognize her eyes. They're so unique that they're impossible to forget." Mei Lhi replied.

"Reika-sama is very sad. She's lost someone important to her. She said that she chased him away. I think he's lost, and he wants to come back. Mei-oba-san, can you help me find him?"

Mei Lhi paused. Then she remembered the screaming.

'So it was you, Reika-chan. You lost someone special to you…gomen nasai. I want to help you. And I will.'

-

'I thought you cared. I thought you truly cared. Why did you push me away? Why can't you trust me? I would never lie to you. I would never do anything to hurt you. Why can't you understand that? Why…why can't you see how much I care about you? Why don't you see what's right in front of you? Why…why are we always blindest when whatever it is that should be seen isn't, even though it is right before our eyes? I do not understand. Why is fate and life itself so cruel? Why are these two things so sick and twisted? Why are there always problems? Always obstacles in the way, always hindering us from reaching our goals? From reaching our deepest desires? Preventing us from reaching out to the ones we care about? It isn't fair. Why must there always be something stopping me? Stopping all of us…from fulfilling these dreams and wishes. Why is it so unfair? Why must it be this way? I just don't understand it. Why…?'

Toji sighed and reluctantly pushed these thoughts aside. Inside, his heart ached and cried out. The pain he felt was nearly unbearable. He had not heard the screaming, for once he had left the room, he left the North as well, to go to his favorite spot to think. He still sat there, under the tree, watching as the river nearby flowed powerfully and freely. He sighed.

'Maybe…it was my fault and not hers…maybe I did something that I didn't understand, but something she did. Or…maybe we just misunderstood each other, but I don't think it's that way. It must have been me. Toji you idiot! She didn't push you away, you pushed her away! YOU chased her off. YOU made her say all those things to you. You have no one to blame but yourself.'

He kicked a nearby rock, and it landed in the river, sinking to the bottom and remaining there. He sighed again.

'Why must it be this way? Why does everything beautiful have to fade away? Why must all the things I want, all the things I love…why must they always be just out of my grasp? Why must fate keep taunting me? Why…?'

Then he remembered Reika had fate-related problems of her own. There was no way she was going to take the life of his cousin's mate. He brushed that thought aside and returned to his source of distress once more.

'Why did I have to push you away? I'm sorry…I wish I could take it all back now. I would wish to go back to before I met you, but then, you would be so lost, and that bastard Haru would still be hurting you. I don't want to wish such pain on you. It hurts enough to see you despairing, or even sad. But what hurts more, is not knowing if you're alright, and not being there to protect you just because of some words that were said, and what makes it worse, is that I know I'm the one to blame. I'm the reason why you're not here with me. And I'm so sorry, so sorry that I did the things I did. I wish that you could please forgive me. You're so important to me. It hurts, and I know you're somewhere out there hurting too. And I wish so much that I could be there, that I could hold you and make everything go away, make all your pain disappear. But I can't. Why? Because of me…I'm sorry…'

He felt the anger and pain well up in his eyes. He clamped his eyes shut; fighting back the waves of emotion that threatened to spill forth. It was hard to not give in and cry there under the tree. No matter how much it hurt, he wasn't going to falter now. He had no right to cry. It was his fault in the first place. He pummeled the earth with his fist, in hopes of alleviating some of his sorrow, only instead making it worse, the emptiness in his heart growing. The pain hit him harder this time, and before he knew it, a salty tear was making a trail down his cheek. Several more followed, and at long last, he gave in, the pain and hurt rising to the surface. He yelled and cried out his grief, not caring that he had broken the promise to himself he had made moments before. He would curse himself later for letting himself cry. As his tears hit the earthen floor, he felt as if the very earth itself had come forward extending sympathies to him, wrapping him in a motherly embrace.

'Reika…'


A/N: Finally done! I'm so sorry for the long-ass wait. School decided that essays and tests for three weeks straight would be fun. Now I have finals on the 26th and 27th of January. Yes, that's next week. And I swear I'm going to fail. I'm so not ready. I'm officially screwed. Oh joy. Anyways I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'm already writing Ch. 20, actually, it's what would have been the actual end to this chapter, but I decided here is a better place to cut it off. Besides, I have a good start for another chapter which could be posted up that much quicker! XD Anyways, thanks for reading and please review. Also, a note on the whole geisha thing: I don't know everything about geisha. I've only seen the movie, "Memoirs of a Geisha" once and I did a little online research, so I am not a geisha expert. So of course, some things will be inaccurate, and others will be my interpretation of what I learned from the film and from what I read from research online. But the thing I know for sure is this, as many people may think, geisha are not prostitutes. The word 'geisha' means 'artist'. Geisha are living works of art that are trained to sing, dance, and do all sorts of things to entertain people with their artistry. And the mizuage, it is sold for the geisha's freedom. Geisha don't stand on a corner and ask people how much money they'll give to have sex with them. It's a long process, and the mizuage is sold to the highest bidder to pay off the geisha's debts (if any) and hopefully be able to the person to inherit the okiya when the original owner gets too old and fragile to maintain it themselves. Anyways, please excuse any inaccuracies anywhere. Alrighty then, stay tuned for Ch. 20, and please review! Ja ne until next time! (PS: For those of you who noticed, I did steal two character's names from the movie. Mameha and Hatsumomo. The others I picked myself. But anyway, I'll try to keep those two in their respectful characters as much as I can, but please know that they are the property of their rightful owner. I don't own them.)