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Chapter Thirty-two
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Saying Goodbyes and Hellos
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Dr. Ben entered Bill's parlor after lunch ready to meet with Elizabeth. He had conferred with Joseph at lunchtime and was extremely pleased with Elizabeth's progress. Actually, Dr. Ben was experienced in working in a hospital or clinic or treating private patients from a medical viewpoint, but working with Pastor Joseph had been different. He felt as though together they were treating the whole person. The inclusion of prayer and the spiritual insights he had heard were amazing, even intriguing, him every day. He had begun to take notes of the Scripture verses to which the Pastor referred and note the homework assignments he gave as well. Dr. Ben realized he had a lot to learn from the wisdom displayed by this humble, small town pastor!
"Good afternoon, Elizabeth. Did you complete your letter to your husband? Are you ready to go to the cemetery to deliver it?" Dr. Ben tried to assess Elizabeth's mood.
"Please have a seat, Dr. Ben? I would like you to read the letter I wrote before we go to deliver it at the gravesite."
"As you wish." Ben took a seat and reached for the letter Elizabeth extended to him. As he read the letter, he was struck with a few things. He jotted in his notebook that she had said the season of being an author was over for her and she hadn't any books left inside now and wasn't sure if returning to teaching was in her future. In addition they needed to address how absolutely certain Elizabeth was about loving Nathan Grant. He would be the next person to discuss as obviously there was a lot of history there. Ben refolded the letter and returned it to Elizabeth. He hemmed then spoke. "You condensed a lot into that letter. Is there anything in particular that you want to discuss right now?"
"Joseph was concerned that I had given up on living because I mentioned not writing or teaching. I want you to know I am not giving up. I just don't have anything to write nor do I have the energy to teach and keep so much in my mind between lessons and behaviors and leading a classroom." She paused before continuing. "A verse came to me when I finished this letter, Doctor. It speaks of God giving us perfect peace."
Elizabeth searched the doctor's face. "You know I didn't weep when I wrote that letter and I really do have peace. I'm ready to say goodbye." Elizabeth reached into her basket and removed a chunky candle and a matchbook. Lifting them out for Dr. Ben to see, she stood to retrieve her coat and slipped the letter into her pocket. "I'm ready now."
Standing to the side, Ben watched quietly. He wanted Elizabeth to make her own ceremony for this occasion and she needed to do that alone. At first she set the candle before the gravestone and knelt. Tracing her fingers over her husband's name and title, dates of birth and death and the comments, "Beloved husband and father, son, brother and friend." Elizabeth paused on each carved word, thinking of the man, the Mountie and all those he left behind. Finally she lifted her fingers to her lips and returned them to trace the final two words, "Always remembered." Quietly she spoke, "A part of my heart will always be yours, Jack. Rest in peace."
Extracting a matchstick from her pocket she carefully lit the candle, held her letter in her hands and shut her eyes as she prayed silently. Then holding the envelope carefully, she let the corner catch fire and slowly watched the paper ignite and disappear. She watched the smoke spiral up into the air and moved her hand, as if in a ballet, mingled with the smoke. She looked into the sky for some moments and then lifted her hands to wipe a few tears from the corner of her eyes before she bent to blow out the flickering flame.
Once she stood, she looked over at the doctor and whispered, "I am ready now."
Dr. Ben gave her his arm and they proceeded silently back into town.
Later that evening, after her son was in bed, Elizabeth sat down at her desk and pulled out paper, envelope and pen. She had to respond to Nathan's letter and have Bill deliver it in person. She wrote a brief yet heartfelt letter, reread it a few times, then folded it into the envelope before turning out the lights and padding upstairs. Elizabeth slept the sleep of those at peace.
After Bill hung up from his call, Nathan called Carol Collins with the details of Bill's Thursday arrival.
"Shall I prepare dinner for everyone the day he arrives? We could all get to know one another and he'll get comfortable in our house and in our presence. Then I'll let you guide us according to your schedule, Nathan. But, we still want our Friday night suppers, please?"
"That sounds wonderful, Carol. Thank you. Let's count on both Thursday and Friday nights then? Once Bill gets settled-in, he may want to contribute to the menu. You know he has cooked delicious meals for the Café at home and might enjoy being a part of the family!" Nathan chuckled, then stopped abruptly. "Oh, one thing, do not let Bill near a pot of chili. That's the only dish he constantly tries to improve, thinking it is delicious. No one else agrees with his assessment!"
Carol laughed. "Thanks for the warning! I will make sure it is not on the menu while Bill is visiting! Maybe I can say it's too much for our digestion as we get older. By the sounds of it that will be the truth!"
"Ever wise and tactful! Good one, Carol. Do let me know if there is anything Allie or I can to do to help you prepare for your houseguest? Oh, one other thing. Beware of his coffee. It can be strong enough to hold a spoon upright!"
"Oh my! Well, I'll just have that made before he arises." Carol laughed again. "Remember I am married to an early-rising Mountie, so we should be fine!"
Concentrating on his writing, Nathan didn't pay any attention to the door opening until a steaming cup of coffee was placed on his desk. "Oh!" He exclaimed as he looked from the cup to the face of Sergeant Wes Murphy, his officemate. "Thank you, Wes!"
"You're welcome, though you look as though you are intent on your project and might not need it!" He sat at his own desk, leaned back and placed his boots on the edge of the desk's top. "Can you take a break for a few moments?"
Glancing back at his typewriter and down at his notes, Nathan capped and placed his pen as a marker on the page and leaned back. "Sure." He chuckled, then imitated Wes's relaxed position.
"So, when I took you on a tour, you shared that you have a niece, now a daughter, who is your deceased sister's child. How long ago did she pass?"
"Almost eleven years ago now. My mother tried to care for Allie, but it was too much for her to care for such a spirited little girl. As her guardian, I brought Allie to live with me." Nathan paused to sip his coffee.
Glancing at Wes across the office, he commented. "You remind me of one of my best friends, Gabriel Kinslow. Do you know him? He's the Constable in Brookfield, a town not too far from Hope Valley. Graduated with me in the Autumn Troop, 1904." Nathan took a long sip of the aromatic brew, savoring the fragrance.
"Can't say that I do." Wes looked into his coffee cup. "I'm older than you, Nathan. I trained here, then was serving in the South African War for one year, until 1902. I was horrified at the treatment of the sick and injured soldiers, so when I returned I studied science and then medicine, planning to serve as a Medical Officer with the Mounties."
"When the World War broke out, my brother and I volunteered and were shipped off to France where I served at the Canadian General Hospital when it was housed in huge tents." Wes paused. "I came upon my brother while on duty, Nathan. He was wounded physically, but more than that he was shell-shocked. After he was shipped home I devoted myself to the soldiers and buried myself in work. I was run down, exhausted and caught pneumonia. The cold and damp didn't help, so my colleagues arranged for me to return home."
"I recovered enough to be reinstated as a Mountie and was glad to become an instructor here at Depot. I had the on-the-field experience to offer to the cadets plenty of real-life scenarios. In addition, I was my brother's caregiver until he died four years ago." Wes paused looking with pain-filled eyes at Nathan. "And that's my story. Now my mother lives with me and I do my best for her. She was devastated by Burton's condition and his death almost killed her."
"I am so sorry for your loss, Wes, and such a tragic loss too. How is your mother now?"
Wes gulped then responded quietly. "She has good days and bad ones. On the bad ones she can hardly rise from bed in the morning, and often doesn't. On her good days? She is a whirlwind of activity. It is a challenge for me because you never know what a day will be like. You have to observe and tread carefully so often. Yet, she maintains a strong faith and we share many excellent Spiritual discussions on her good days. I am thankful to God that she is still with me."
"There is nothing to be compared with a mother's love, support and prayers, eh?" Nathan commented, then stared out the window.
After some moments of silence Wes spoke up. "Nathan? " He coughed. "Nathan? Where did you just disappear to?"
Nathan started. "What? Oh." Nathan let his feet fall heavily to the floor. "Sorry. Just thinking."
"I could see that. Mind telling me what about?"
"Well… if you must know, I was thinking about how I wish Allie had a mother to love, support and pray for her. She's had so much loss, I pray she'll have that joy someday."
"That would mean that you, her father, would need to marry, Nathan." Wes chuckled. "Any prospects?"
"No. Not anymore." Nathan swigged the last of his coffee and changed the subject. "So with all your experience and medical training, why aren't you a higher rank, Wes? I assumed you were a medic, instructing in safety and first aid, not a doctor."
Grinning, Wes confessed. "I have chosen the easy job. I still get to practice medicine in emergencies, but I can pass on my skills to the cadets and maybe save a lot of lives that way. I declined a few promotions because they would have put me in meetings all day long. I haven't the patience for meetings and I also like the ability to know what time of night I am going home!"
"Sounds as though we have a little something else in common. I mean besides the loss of a young sibling. I am appreciating the stability and knowing I don't have to go out of town and leave Allie alone. Well, not exactly alone… She would be with the Collins's or the Samuels's, but not be with me."
"I get it, Nathan. You are very close. From what I hear she is a delightful young lady and you should be proud."
Nathan frowned at Wes. "From what you hear? Who is talking about my daughter?"
"Stay calm, 'Dad.' Word circulates and it is with admiration! You should know by now that the Mounties rival the Great Aunts in the gossip department! Oh, and the match-making department too!" He grinned, trying to lighten the conversation and reassure his new friend. "Actually, I think some folks observed Allie at the faculty tea!"
Nathan relaxed and laughed. "Yeah, forgot about Mountie gossip. I've been out of the loop for a few years. In Hope Valley we had a few women who would gladly spread news, whether you wanted them to or not, so you became very cautious about what you said, to whom and where!"
Wes laughed. "Sounds about right! Just change their uniforms to the serge and there you go!" He leaned forward on his desk. "How were they in the match-making department?"
Nathan sighed ruefully. "Oh, that was an entirely different woman. A heart of gold and a head full of good intentions, but not everyone listened to her in spite of being best friends." Looking up from his hands, Nathan abruptly added. "And that's enough for now, Wes. I need to get back to my project. Which reminds me, have you ever thought of updating the first aid and safety manuals? Would you be interested in doing that together sometime?"
Wes thought for a moment and realized, 'There will be plenty of future times to allow Nathan to unburden himself about things to which he's alluded.' He responded to Nathan's final questions. "The manuals? That sounds intriguing. I usually just enhance the lessons and try to keep cadets current on ever-changing medical opinions. Let me think about it? Have you spoken to Tim yet?"
Allie was excited to know the actual day of her Uncle Bill's arrival. "What can we do to make him feel special, Dad? Should I bake a cake? Maybe I could do it with Gramma Carol?"
"Just being yourself will make him feel special, Sweetheart. You know he told me you are half the reason he wants to come visit?"
Allie looked at her father as he shed his serge. "Really? Uncle Bill said that?"
"Sure did, Allie-girl." Nathan chuckled. "It seems his affections are equally divided between us both! Nice, eh?"
"It is."
Allie was quietly joyful, a sign of maturity that her father knew Uncle Bill would notice.
"So what's for supper tonight, dear daughter?"
Over dinner Dad and Daughter shared about their day. Allie was concerned about Latin and felt her teacher gave her work that was too advanced. "Do I have to take it, Dad? Just because I took it four years ago. Shouldn't I be able to take Spanish or Italian or something exotic like Inuktitut or the Cree language?"
"Allie, are those languages offered at St. Anne's?" He kept his voice serious and his face gave away nothing of the humor he momentarily felt as he thought of her varied language requests.
"No. But they should be! It's not like anyone speaks Latin, except in the Catholic Church. I mean really, Dad! Can't I just quit?"
Recognizing a sign of rebellion, Nathan quietly answered. "Not right now. We can't quit things just because they are difficult, Allie. Until you prove to me that you have given Latin your full attention and made every effort possible to do well, we cannot entertain a discussion of you quitting. Do you understand?"
Nathan watched as Allie rolled her eyes and heaved a huge, annoyed sigh before he responded. "Allie?" His tone itself was a warning. "Please look at me when I am speaking,"
When Allie finally looked up at her father, Nathan spoke calmly. "I've taught you better than this. When someone who is our elder speaks, we show them respect. We don't give them attitude or dismiss their words even if we disagree. What is the kind and respectful response?"
Allie looked down at her plate, silent for some moments, thinking before she spoke. She was suddenly afraid that maybe she had ruined her chances to really quit Latin. She looked back at Nathan who had set down his fork and with folded hands resting on the table, was quietly watching her and waiting. "I should look you in the eye, think about your words and say okay. If I disagree, maybe I can ask you if we can discuss this at a later time?"
"Allie, I am not requiring you to say any particular words. I am talking about the attitude. What did you just do that was disrespectful?"
Allie felt tears forming and gulped them back. Her father had never been dissuaded by tears when she had done something wrong. In a very soft voice, Allie answered. "I shouldn't have sighed and rolled my eyes."
"I agree. That was disrespectful. Thank you for admitting that. Anything else?"
Now the tears slipped out and rolled down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Dad."
"I forgive you, Honey." Nathan stood and went around the table. He squatted beside Allie and wrapped his arms around her.
She stiffened for a moment, then melted into his hug. "I'm sorry, Dad. I just…."
"Let's discuss Latin tomorrow. Maybe you would like me to find a tutor to help you?" He kissed the top of her head. "Think about that. Right now the food is getting cold, so let's finish supper." Nathan handed Allie his pocket handkerchief and stood.
"Okay."
Lying in bed later, Nathan questioned if he had handled tonight's interaction correctly, momentarily letting his constant wish surface again. He wished he had a wife to discuss these things with and that Allie had a mother. He took a slow breath and began to pray.
"Lord?" Nathan whispered under his breath. "It's me again with the same request. Only this time it is getting more difficult. Allie is changing. I mean I know she's fourteen and that's to be expected. Yet, You've allowed me to be in this parenting role alone. I choose to trust you to give me the understanding and compassion and wisdom of both a father and a mother. Show me, convict me when I err? I don't want to do anything to turn Allie away from me or from You."
"Maybe I have allowed her eye-rolls to continue too long? They used to be comical and cute… But tonight I just sensed something different and felt I needed to address it, though it was small in some ways. Guide me in how to best help her with this Latin challenge? And I pray for her teacher to be kind and helpful and encouraging too. I confess I was put-off by the woman's words at the Faculty Tea. Maybe the issue is the teacher? I pray You would work in Miss Dugan's life and bless her. Now, let Allie and I sleep and protect Bill as he is on the train right now. Thank you, Lord. Amen."
When Wes entered his office the following day, Nathan asked Wes for a few moments of time.
"Of course, Nathan. What's on your mind?"
"I was talking with Allie last evening and she is frustrated with her Latin class. She took Latin four years ago and excelled, but now she claims her assignments are too difficult, yet her teacher said she is more advanced than a beginner. Allie wants to quit. Already! I am not certain if she is just being stubborn or is really struggling and I have not approached her with this suggestion, but… As a doctor you took a lot of Latin, correct? Would you be willing to meet with Allie and tutor her or at least assess what is the true problem?"
"Well! That's a first, Nathan. It's been quite a while, but I suppose you never really forget, so I guess I can give it a try. That is if she is willing! I am not experienced in dealing with teen girls though." Wes grinned. "Are you sure there isn't another problem she is trying to avoid? A classmate or her teacher or another class she wants to attend that meets at the same time?"
"I thought of those issues, so thanks for the confirmation. I will discuss all that with her tonight. There was an attitude problem last night and I wanted to let everything calm down for a day. But, thank you for being willing. I'll let you know if I offer her that as an option." Relieved that there might be someone who could help, Nathan breathed a relieved sigh. "Thank you!"
Walking down the hall to find Jon Samuels, Nathan encountered Sergeant Josiah Blake, father to Jared, the handsome Youth Group heartthrob. "Josiah!"
"Nathan!" Josiah shook Nathan's extended hand. "You okay? You look troubled."
Nathan laughed sardonically. "You could say that." Realizing this might be a Providential opportunity, Nathan asked. "Do you have a couple minutes?"
Seeing they were near the Library entrance, Josiah motioned Nathan to follow him inside to a quiet corner. "What's on your mind, Nathan?"
After offering a brief explanation of Allie's concerns, he asked. "Your daughter is fifteen? Is your daughter taking Latin, by any chance, or have you heard anything about the Latin II class?"
Josiah grinned. "Oh that. Yes, Ellen is in Latin II. Allie may not know who she is though since Ellen missed Youth Group on Sunday, but you know Rachel Samuels is also in the class?"
"No, I was not aware of that. Are Ellen and Rachel close?"
"Rachel would like to be, but I think it's more because she has her eye on Jared. Ellen sees through that so is pretty guarded herself and protective of Jared. Dedicated sister, you know?"
"I had an dedicated sister, but was mercifully spared the teenage girl and boy interactions because we lived outside of town. Colleen was protective of me, but we had other things on our minds…" Knowing he had said enough for the moment, he changed tack. "Anyway, is Ellen a good student? Does she have any problems with the class or the teacher?"
"A good student, yes. The teacher is another matter." Josiah paused before continuing. "You are new, so you don't know what transpired this past year, Nathan. In short, Miss Dugan was engaged to a Constable who worked at Headquarters. When he was assigned to a town north of here, she broke off the engagement and hasn't been the same since. My wife's assessment is Miss Dugan was afraid for his safety and couldn't marry him for that reason. My wife used to know her from ladies functions at church, but Miss Dugan withdrew from those and from what I've heard her personality changed. She used to be an outgoing, happy person, but not anymore. I don't know if her teaching has suffered, but I do know Ellen doesn't enjoy her class as much as she used to."
As Josiah shared about Miss Dugan, Nathan was reminded of Elizabeth. He softly commented. "Fear will do that, won't it? Change someone for the worse, I mean."
"I guess so?" He scrutinized Nathan's face. "You know that because…?"
"Let's just say personal experience. So, would you mind suggesting to Ellen that she introduce herself to Allie? Knowing a few of her fellow students might encourage her."
"I'd be glad too. If I hear anything that would help, I will let you know? Don't worry I won't share your concerns with my children. If Allie wants some help with her Latin studies, I'm sure Ellen, or even Blake, would be glad to help."
Nathan took a sharp breath. "Ah well, I'll let you know about that! Not sure much studying would be accomplished with your son present!"
"True. Maybe not. But he's a great student and is currently in the Latin III class." Josiah shrugged but understood this was an issue of great concern to Nathan. "You let me know if there is anything I can do to help, eh?"
"Thanks, Josiah. At this point I am gathering facts." Nathan shrugged back. "You know, once a Mountie always a Mountie?"
"I do. But I also know always a father, Nathan, and that will never change! Have a good rest of your day and may God bless tonight's conversation with Allie."
Nathan motioned for Josiah to lead the way and they parted in the hallway with a handshake.
Nathan decided to return to his desk and not follow-up with Jon at this time.
Bill patted his chest pocket before he gathered his luggage to depart the train. As he stepped to the platform there were swarms of red serge, farewells and hellos. He scanned the crowd for Nathan and saw his tall form striding towards him, a barely visible bouncing dark blonde head beside him.
Allie's excited cry preceded their arrival, but soon Bill, Allie and Nathan were enveloped in each other's arms.
"What a sight for sore eyes, my dear ones!" Bill exclaimed.
"That goes both ways! Welcome to Depot. Bill!"
Although Nathan backed away slightly, Allie held on as if Bill was a life-preserver. "Oh, I've missed you, Uncle Bill! Sooo much!"
"And I you, dear Allie-girl." Bill looked down and commented. "Have you grown taller in just the last few weeks?"
Allie laughed her lilting laugh that Bill had missed so much. "I don't know. Have I Dad?"
Nathan chuckled, "I confess we need to re-establish the measuring on the doorpost to make sure! It wasn't always your favorite activity, but would you humor your old dad so I can better answer people's questions?" Nathan tweaked Allie's nose and received the expected giggle.
"I guess." Allie grinned at Uncle Bill. "I feel taller, Uncle Bill."
"Aah ha." Bill looked Nathan over, head to toe and back. "Now that is one handsome uniform on you, Son. It suits you." Bill chuckled at Allie and nudged her arm. "Get it?"
