Author's Note:
When using the app and listening to the Fanfiction stories, there are many mispronunciations, some of which are laughable. In this story though, I want to correct what you may hear as it sounds so wrong! Adeline's nickname, Adeli, is pronounced AD – elle – eye. So whether you listen or read, I hope you 'think' this name correctly! I think it is beautiful! :)
As always, thank you for reading and dreaming with me! Eilie
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Chapter Thirty-six
Bill Delivers a Letter
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"Well! We had a full weekend, didn't we?" Bill declared over Monday's dinner with Nathan and Allie. "I am amazed."
"And so you should be, Bill. God has given you a second chance! I am thrilled for you. Adeli is delightful and I can see she adores you too." Nathan enthused, so happy for his dear friend.
Allie nodded her head. "I like her a real lot Uncle Bill. She's beautiful and fun and I agree with Dad. Aunt Adeli really, really likes you." Allie hesitated momentarily, after her experience with the question of kissing, but continued anyway. "I'm afraid to say she loves you, but I think that's true."
Blushing, Bill, looked down at his plate. "Allie-girl? I hope so, because I think I love her."
"I knew it." Allie could hardly contain herself. "I was right!"
"Young woman's intuition, Bill. Got to watch out for that, you know?" Nathan chuckled wryly.
"So I am learning. She knows before I know!" Bill shrugged his shoulders and Nathan gave him a raised-eyebrow, head-tilted shrug of his own.
"When will we see her again, Uncle Bill? I know you have lunch with her today, but can she come here for dinner? She wanted to taste your cooking remember."
"So she did! Nathan? What do you think?"
"Allie, remember you are going to the Samuels after school tomorrow to study Latin with Rachel?" Nathan reminded Allie.
"I sort of forgot. I want to go, but I don't want to miss out with Uncle Bill and Aunt Adeli. Maybe we could have them here for Wednesday dinner?"
"That's fine with me. Bill, you want to invite Adeli? Is she clearing her schedule to spend time with you?"
"I will invite her. We are trying not to overdo it and still keep our separate lives right now, meeting for one meal each day. We need to get used to this renewed relationship!" Bill shared his concern. "I don't want to go too fast after such a long time has passed. We are just getting to know one another again."
"Very wise, Bill. I commend your restraint. Let's plan for Wednesday then." Nathan smiled with understanding. "Are we ready for dessert? You said you made something, Sweetheart?"
"I did. Gramma Carol helped me with it this afternoon. They're called Caramel Apple Pie Bars."
Allie brought a plate to the table and watched as Uncle Bill and her dad tried one. She knew Uncle Bill was the cook and his opinion really mattered.
Bill took a bite, examined the bar, took another bite, looked thoughtful, frowned a little and generally made Allie nervous before he broke into a wide smile. "Delicious! I'll have two…at least!"
Allie sighed with relief.
"Wonderful, Allie. You can make these anytime. But what is the caramel on top made from? "
Allie took a bar for herself. "Gramma Carol says its sugar, butter, cream and salt. She already had that made in a jar, but she'll make it with me sometime so we can have our own!" She took a bite. "Mmmmm!"
Bill smirked at Nathan as he reached for a second piece. "Carol is spoiling you and you may get fat!"
Nathan laughed. "Well, I admit I need to be careful now that I am not working outside as much, but you've seen Dad. I don't think I need to worry about getting fat any more than you do. I mean, you cooked in the Café for years, Bill, and never seemed to develop a paunch!"
"Adeli thinks I lost weight since I saw her last! So I guess not."
"Umm hmmm." Nathan was enjoying how often Adeli was mentioned in their conversations! Turning to Allie he asked. "Allie. Do you still have homework to do? If you have reading to do you might want to read ahead so you have time whenever we see Aunt Adeli."
"Thanks, Dad. I didn't think of that. I do have a lot of reading to do. May I be excused from the dishes?"
"You may. You made the dessert anyway and I'll wash up since Uncle Bill cooked." Nathan opened his arm to give her a side hug. "Thanks for dessert, Honey. It was delicious. Call or come out and say goodnight when you are ready for bed, okay?"
"Sure. Have a good talk!" She went around the table to kiss her Uncle Bill on the cheek and headed back to her bedroom, shutting the door.
"That girl is growing up, Nathan. I see a difference in just these few weeks!" He scrutinized Nathan's face. "How are you doing with that?"
The men stood and cleared the table, heading to the kitchen sink.
"You wash, I'll dry, Son. We get to talk!" Bill grabbed the dishtowel from the hook and leaned against the counter waiting. "How are you handling Allie's blossoming into a young lady?"
"Surprisingly well." Nathan filled the sink with hot water and suds. "I've had a few revelations since we moved and we have had some wonderful and deep discussions. I realize that the advantage of her maturing is that we can have more adult conversations on more adult topics, so I am not looking at her growing older as a bad thing now. I mean I still miss the little girl I held in my arms, but, as I told her a few weeks ago, I love that little girl as much as I love the young lady who now threads her hand through my arm."
"Good perspective, Nathan. You are the best Dad that girl could ever have. Probably the best Dad I've seen."
"Well, I don't know about best, but with God's help I'm finding my way. Still wish I could give her a mother, Bill. I feel guilty she's only had me all this time!"
"God knows that, Son. He may still have someone that will fulfill that dream. His timing isn't ours, but He hasn't forgotten you. Just look at the wonderful opportunity for you here at Depot! He has provided and remembered and honored you for your faithfulness."
They worked quietly for a while until Bill remembered what Nathan had just said. "You said you've had a few revelations? What are some other ones?"
Nathan paused and looked out the window although it was dark enough that he could only see his reflection. Reaching for another dish, he continued to share. "I forget when we discussed it, but Allie and I were talking about how many different places we had lived over the years. We used to think of that as a disadvantage. We didn't settle anywhere for long. But together we realized that it was actually a blessing and seeing so many places and meeting so many different people has enriched our lives. It has been a privilege that many people never experience."
"You and Allie concluded this together?" Bill wanted clarification. "I mean, you discussed this?"
"Yes. That's what I mean. We are enjoying more adult conversations."
"Excuse me, Nathan. But there are plenty of adults out there that would never talk about or realize that. I am impressed."
"Well, she is a special young lady." Nathan stated.
"That she is, but a lot of that is due to your parenting, Nathan. You have treated her with respect and loved her deeply and she has enjoyed that security in spite of the uncertainties of the Mountie lifestyle. I am just so happy you are here now though." Bill sighed. He wasn't going to share just how happy he was that Nathan had left Hope Valley. For now, he had a letter to deliver that might lead to a conversation they had thus far avoided.
Bill hung the towel and opened cabinets to put way the dishes as Nathan wiped the dining room table.
"There, that's done!" Nathan draped the wrung-out dishcloth and turned out the light, following Bill into the front room. He added another log to the fire and stirred the embers before sitting in the chair and shedding his shoes. He stretched his long legs in front of himself, stockinged feet resting on the ottoman and hands resting behind his neck. "You know, Bill? I don't miss the fact that I used to be called out on duty anytime of the day or night. Just that is amazingly relaxing, you know? Did you notice that when you became a judge?"
"Can't say that I did. I managed to fill my time with the Café, or working as mayor, or researching court cases or solving some doozies with my Constable colleague." Bill shook his head. "We really had some challenges, Nathan, didn't we?"
"I agree with that. But, I think Hope Valley is safe now. What is your impression of Paul Martin?"
"I think he is a perfect match. Plus he is young and teachable. He has come to me a few times for advice and it is refreshing. In spite of his inexperience the scenarios and solutions he presents are well-thought out and have been exactly what I would direct him to do. Hope Valley has been blessed with three wonderful Mounties over the years."
Nathan chuckled. "And a wonderful sheriff I do believe!"
"Well, yeah, there is that." Bill admitted, smirking before his grin faded. "Ahhh… Nathan, we need to talk about Elizabeth." He watched as Nathan's relaxed posture shifted and his jaw tightened. "I'm sorry, but you need to know. I didn't tell you everything on the telephone."
Nathan lowered his arms to the chair arm and sat straighter. "I'm listening."
"Elizabeth's collapse when you left, Nathan? She had a nervous breakdown. You know she shouted and sobbed, but it was more than that. We barely got her to the Infirmary. She wouldn't speak or eat or… she just cried and when she wasn't crying she stared into space." Bill gulped as he remembered then raised his eyes to see Nathan's tears overflowing. "Faith arranged for her to be watched day and night, until eventually Elizabeth slept at night and it was okay for someone to just sleep in the Infirmary in case she called out or needed something. Elizabeth was in the Infirmary for a week."
Nathan set his feet on the floor and leaned forward head in his hands, listening.
"Joseph met with her daily, and eventually I was able to see her. Either Molly or Fiona volunteered for the overnights. Faith kept everyone else away after the first day anyway. Lucas was not very helpful although I tried to get him to man up and take responsibility for his fiancé and Jack. Finally I took it upon myself to call her parents since Lucas wouldn't do it. When Elizabeth looked afraid of Lucas, Faith banned him from seeing her."
Nathan's head popped up and he stared at Bill. "Afraid of him? What…did…he…do...to her?" His measured words indicated his anguish.
"Not what you may think, Nathan. He didn't hit her or Jack. His method of dealing with things that didn't go his way was to act like a petulant child, run and not tell Elizabeth anything or answer her questions. My opinion is that he controlled her with uncertainty, neglect and words. It took a while, but Elizabeth eventually saw the true Lucas. His charm had become manipulation. She couldn't trust who he was, or who she was when with him. I think just that knowledge scared her."
"Faith kept him away, not that Lucas made any attempt to assist in her care, but Faith set the rules because of Elizabeth's condition and not wanting to allow any set-backs as she gradually began to speak and eat again. In an early session with Joseph, Elizabeth wrote a note and broke their engagement, Nathan. Joseph hand-delivered the note. We had discovered that Lucas was packing to leave and just waiting for the oil deal to be resolved. When we learned he could run at any time and would leave Elizabeth in limbo, Faith and Joseph encouraged her to be the one to end it. We are so grateful she did. When her father gave Lucas a talking to…"
"William Thatcher talked to Lucas?" As a father himself, Nathan could only imagine what that conversation had been like.
"Yes, the Thatchers boarded a train as soon as they could and sent his assistant and the Psychiatrist to drive their car cross-country…"
Nathan held up his hand to stop Bill. "They really did bring a Psychiatrist? She is that bad?"
"Not now, thank the Lord. But, you know William Thatcher will spare no expense to protect his family. He wanted the best for her. And, Ben Marshall is the best. Between him and Joseph, and God of course, Elizabeth has had wonderful care and has improved immensely."
"Is Lucas still there?"
"No. William gave him what he deserved, at least verbally, and I understand set up an order of protection so Lucas cannot attempt to contact Elizabeth or Jack ever again." Bill paused, wondering if he should share about addition protective orders, but decided not to right now.
"The Thatchers and their butler settled in your old row house and have gotten to know Jack. It is wonderful to see them together and Jack is thriving now. Elizabeth didn't even want to see Jack in the beginning, but we got her to agree to me bringing him to see her for bedtime stories as much for his sake as for hers".
"Elizabeth moved home and her parents are devoting a lot of time to her and to Jack. The Psychiatrist and Joseph are counseling her, sometimes separately and sometimes together and her transformation is astounding really. If you had seen her in the beginning… Well, I'm just glad you didn't have to see her, Nathan."
Bill sighed. "She hasn't taught at all this semester. Ned's daughter Katie Yost was hired and, according to what I've heard, is doing a marvelous job teaching in Elizabeth's stead. The students love her!"
Nathan cleared his throat. "Bill? Did you ever give her my letter? Because if you haven't maybe you… "
Bill raised his hand. "I did. Just before I left. Joseph and I decided it was best to wait and then when I knew I would see you, I decided I better deliver it. You told me I could, or Joseph could, read it and we both did. It was the right thing to do, Nathan, to write that. And it was the right time for Elizabeth to receive it too. She was so relieved to know you had written a note to her and didn't plan to just leave without saying anything. I explained you had left letters for her, Joseph, the Coulters, and me. She was very grateful, Nathan."
"It was so many weeks ago, I don't even remember what I wrote…" Nathan lifted his concerned gaze to Bill's. "I hope it didn't hurt her progress…"
"I don't think so. Nathan, the morning I departed she brought me a note to give to you." Bill reached into his shirt pocket and extracted the envelope. He leaned forward and handed it to Nathan.
A myriad of emotions crossed Nathan's face as he took the envelope in his hand. He wasn't sure if he wanted to read it, yet a part of him was desperate to do so.
"Do you want me to leave you now so you can read it?" Bill offered.
"No. I may need to talk to you about it, depending on what she's written. I just…" Natha n's voice trailed off as he stared at his name.
"Take your time, Son."
Nathan slowly slid his finger under the flap and slid out a single sheet of paper. He closed his eyes and prayed for God to help him, then opened his eyes as he unfolded the page. He took a deep breath and read.
'Dear Nathan,
Thank you for your letter. It means so much to know you didn't plan to leave without saying anything to me. Bill gave it to me yesterday and I know I will re-read it often, but for now, thank you for your honest words. You were always truthful with me, Nathan. I am grateful.
You are right. I need to face my fears and I am working on that, with Joseph, a doctor, my journal, my Bible and God. You see I have awakened from a very dark place and I am coming into the Light. Your analogy was telling and I understand. I don't want to be tethered to fear.
I want you to know that I broke the engagement with Lucas. It was wrong from the start. Please do not worry that I am without care or protection? God is with me and I am not alone.
You are right to say it was time for you to leave Hope Valley. I shudder to think of what I had become and that I would not have been forced to face myself if you hadn't left. I wish you were here now to see, but I am not who I was when you departed. You are right, Nathan. I changed and can hardly believe what I became and who I hurt over these past couple years. But God is helping me return to a better version of who I once was. I am slowly learning to be 'other-person-centered,' as Joseph says, and working on repairing the damaged relationships I ignored for so long. I hope and pray I will be brave and thoughtful again.
There is so much to say, but I cannot find the words yet. Just know that I am deeply sorry for hurting you and dear Allie. My regrets are still overwhelming, but I hope to write again.
I also hope you are enjoying life in Regina. Congratulations on your well-deserved promotion, Nathan. I pray that Allie is finding her place and making new friendships. I pray for both of you every day.
Please know that I miss you, and Jack does too!
Elizabeth'
"Dad?" Allie's voice called from her bedroom.
Nathan snapped out of his reverie enough to say. "Be right there."
Bill watched as Nathan went to the window and swiped his hand down his face and stood hands on his hips. When he turned, Nathan was in poker-faced Mountie mode. Bill had seen it before. Bill had also done it before.
Nathan handed him Elizabeth's letter, nodded and turned towards the bedrooms.
"Uncle Bill! You can come too."
Setting aside the letter, Bill rose and followed behind Nathan into Allie's room. In bed Allie had her knees to her chest and her quilt pulled up around her, arms holding it in place. She looked from her father to Bill and back again. She knew and they knew she knew.
Lifting her arms, she looked at Bill and quietly said, "May I have a hug?" Bill just nodded and hugged her as she whispered. "Good night, Uncle Bill."
"Good night, Sweetheart."
Letting go of Bill, Allie requested. "Dad? Please stay for a few minutes?" She patted the bed and Nathan sat down. "What's wrong?"
Nathan knew there was no denying anything so he just answered, "We were talking…" They said the next three words in unison, only Allie's were a question and Nathan's was the answer. "…about Hope Valley."
Nathan took Allie's offered hand.
"About Mrs. Thornton?" When her dad nodded she continued. "Is she still sick?"
Nathan looked into the eyes he loved so much. "She is getting better."
Allie squeezed his hand. "It's still hard isn't it?"
Trying to keep his emotions under control, Nathan just nodded.
Allie crawled out from under the quilt and wrapped her arms around her father, quietly there for him. Finally she whispered, "It's okay Dad. We'll keep praying, right? God has a plan."
As Nathan nodded, Allie leaned away enough to kiss his cheek. "I love you, Dad."
"And I love you, Allie-girl." Nathan rose, adjusted her quilt and turned off the light, whispering, "Good night."
Having been waiting in the hallway, Bill quietly tip-toed to the front room and heard Nathan shut the door as he sat down on the sofa. He had needed to witness the loving-care between this father and daughter and it warmed his heart.
As Nathan returned to his chair, Bill admitted. "I heard you."
Figuring as much, Nathan nodded,and gave a half smile, but one that didn't reach his eyes. He looked down at the letter in Bill's hand and nodded as he sat. This time, Nathan ran his hands through his hair, then, leaning forward, he rested his forearms on his knees and clasped his hands. He waited.
Having read Elizabeth's letter, Bill extended it to Nathan who read it a second time.
"What are your thoughts, Son?"
"She seems sincere."
"She does."
"I'm glad she is getting counsel and working on facing her fears." Nathan paused to look back at the letter. "She admits she changed and desires to change again, she says 'for the better?'" Nathan sighed, breathing a silent prayer that that was true. "I'm concerned about her saying her regrets are overwhelming. I hope that's not true and she can get help sorting through that pain without slipping backwards."
"I think that is just her way of saying she has many regrets and she is working through them one-by-one. From what I have observed I don't think we need to fear a reversal, Nathan. She has hard truths to face, one-at-a-time, but she has excellent care and they won't push her beyond what she is ready to handle each day. Before I left I asked Joseph for his opinion of her progress and he said steady overall with some surprising leaps ahead that she initiated. I think that is encouraging. By the way, Joseph sent his greetings and promises he will write eventually!"
"I'm no counselor or doctor, but I think Elizabeth is accurate in her description. She is coming into the Light. That 'coming' is a process. She won't turn around and go back, it's just going to take time. Personally I am greatly encouraged by the letter, Son."
Bill was quiet for some moments. "Do you still have feelings for Elizabeth, Nathan?"
Nathan ducked his head and ran his fingers through the sides of his hair again. Still looking down he confessed. "I do. I think I always will, Bill."
He raised his head and looked at Bill with his feelings written all over his expression. "But I have been doing my best to put them aside, to find a way to live without constant reminders of her, of what she said, of who she chose… It has been helpful to have so much to adjust to and learn here in Regina, but I am still me, just replanted in a new place. I still carry the essence of who I am and who I care for in my heart. Now though…" Nathan quieted briefly, "I must not allow any spark of renewed hope, Bill. I can't risk my heart or Allie's again."
"Caution is wise, Nathan. Just be open to any surprises God may have. And, as Allie said tonight, you can still pray. Even if your prayer is not a petition, just a statement that God's will be done." Bill sent an arrow prayer to the Lord as he watched Nathan, then added. "Isn't that a prayer that God will answer?"
Nodding slightly, Nathan folded the letter and returned it to its envelope. "It's getting late. I need to turn in and ask the Lord for sleep tonight." He stood as Bill stood. "Thank you for being here for me, Bill. I appreciate it."
"Always, Nathan. Just one thing before I say good night? Please consider sending an answer back with me? You have time and it needn't be long. Just so Elizabeth knows you read it and she was heard." Bill patted Nathan's shoulder. "I'll see you in the morning, Son. Good night."
"Good night, Bill."
