"Where the hell are they?" Lara looked at her watch anxiously. "They've been missing for hours. It's getting cold."

"They'll be fine," Dillon insisted. "They're probably just around the bend, arguing. The two of them will be pretty volatile."

"We've checked the main routes." Jim got off his mobile phone. "No sign of them. There's any number of back roads to try, but I don't see why they'd have taken any of them. Did no one see them on their way here?"

Jack shook his head. "No. Look, is there anything we can do? We could drive around…"

"And all get lost!" Anna exclaimed. "I'm sure Patrick and Lucy are fine."

Lara walked away from the others, dialling Patrick's number again. Still no answer. Dillon followed her.

"They're fine, Lara, I know it," he repeated.

"Patrick's just out of hospital, he shouldn't be out in this," Lara said, trying to hide her anxiety and failing. "What if they've had an accident or something? They could need our help, they could…"

"Patrick will be fine," Dillon said calmly, putting an arm around her shoulders. "He's a strong bloke, a fighter, remember?"

"He's fought too much lately, what if…?" Lara tailed off and blinked back tears. "I mean, I didn't save his life to have him do something stupid now. He's such an idiot, why couldn't he stick to main roads?"

Dillon was puzzled too. Why take the back roads, when the main ones were so much easier and straightforward? Still, he couldn't let Lara know that he was worried too, and not only for Patrick.


"We were childhood sweethearts," Lucy explained, sniffing. "Together since we were fifteen. We lived in the same road, went to the same school, were only born six days apart. Everyone always said we'd end up together. You know those couples at school that are always together, walk to lessons together, walk home together, eat lunch together? That was us." She sighed. "Our parents thought we were crazy when we moved in together at seventeen; we were both at college and could barely afford the rent, but it was all we'd ever wanted, to be together. And then we both completed our courses and began working. We didn't need much money, we rarely went out. It was just perfect."

Patrick, far from feeling nauseated as he'd expected to when Lucy began her story, was instead completely engrossed in it. He still couldn't admit that he envied the sort of flat they'd no doubt lived in though. "Sounds it."

Lucy smiled ruefully. "I know it sounds pathetic, but it was perfect for us. Jamie proposed to me on my nineteenth birthday, and we got married within a few months. Bog standard, simple wedding, no frills. My parents went mad of course, and his weren't much better. All said we were getting tied down too young. But it didn't feel like being tied down, it felt like being complete and whole. I thought it was wonderful."

"How long were you married before…?" Patrick tailed off.

"About a year," Lucy replied. "He was out testing a car for a customer at the garage one day. The brakes failed and he crashed into a wall. They brought him in to the hospital I was working at, wouldn't let me work on him. I had to stand by as they tried to save him. I'd never realised what the relatives went through."

"It must have been awful," Patrick remarked. "At least I was involved with Rachel, at least I could say I tried."

"I was in no state to help. I'd have been useless." She stared out the windscreen in front of her. "But to see him lying there… it was like someone else, not my Jamie. I kept expecting some other relatives to show up; I couldn't believe it was me this time."

"Married and widowed by twenty," Patrick said quietly. This explained the Lucy Hart attitude, the secrecy and the lies.

"Pretty good going, isn't it?" Lucy managed to laugh weakly. "James Dean would be proud. I couldn't stand to see that hospital every day after that. I moved around a few places, but as soon as they found out about Jamie, it all changed, they began giving me funny looks. So when I came here I decided not to mention anything. It was easier." She sighed. "And that's why I thought I might be useful to you, cause I've been there. I'm still there."

Patrick nodded. "Yeah, I can see. When did Jamie die?"

"Just over two years ago. On Christmas Eve."

Patrick reeled at the last part. "Jesus, no wonder you hate Christmas then." This Lucy he could identify with. It was becoming clear to him why she'd come to visit him now, and it was slowly becoming clear to him why he'd gravitated towards her lately. Her guarded nature, the look in her eyes, her general body language… it all reflected his own. Lucy Hart was the same as him.


"It was all over anyway," Patrick said. "Rachel was married, I couldn't commit. I'm useless at that kind of thing, always have been. She was going back to Greg, she dumped me that morning… And then that happened."

"It must have been a shock," Lucy remarked.

"You could say that. I can't help thinking that it was my fault somehow, that if we hadn't rowed, she'd have been thinking more clearly and wouldn't have been so reckless and gone after those guys…"

"From what I could gather about her, she sounded like she'd have done that whether she was angry or not," Lucy pointed out gently.

"But maybe if I'd stayed at the hospital, not gone out on that shout…" Patrick desperately tried not to cry.

"Then what? That poor bloke would have lost his leg? Or worse? You didn't know Rachel would be brought in, and to be honest what could you have done if you were there? Lara and Dillon were there, and Philippa, I'm sure she did what she could -"

"She was crap!" Patrick spat the word out. "Worst bloody consultant I've ever worked with!"

"Even Max?" Lucy suggested, not being able to resist a sly smile.

Patrick looked at her. "Did you just make a joke, Ms. Hart?"

Lucy pulled a face. "Not really. Anyway, we were talking about you."

"I'm sick of talking about me," Patrick said bitterly. "It's all anyone wants to do, it seems. Or talk about the fact that I'm a waste of space and Max is worth ten of me. Or about how they wish Lara hadn't found me in time."

Lucy was shocked. "No one says that!"

"I'm not stupid," Patrick said firmly. "I know I've hardly made many friends around here."

"Neither have I," Lucy pointed out. "But I'd like to think people would want me to live if I was at death's door."

Patrick shrugged. "Well, whatever. I'm just stating a fact. Most people at Holby want me gone."

"Lara doesn't," Lucy said firmly.

Patrick suddenly mellowed. He turned away from Lucy to look out the window, even though it was dark and there was no way she'd be able to see the faint smile on his face. "True," he agreed. "True."


"Lara, this is crazy," Dillon said, trying to avoid yawning. It was gone six in the morning and they hadn't been to bed all night. It was just starting to get light and Lara had insisted that she go out with Jim when he made his next sweep of the area looking for the lost pair.

Jim didn't bother trying to hide his yawn. "I'm done in, we'll have to give up in a bit."

"You can if you want," Lara said gritting her teeth. "But I'm going to find them."

"Lara, you need to sleep," Dillon said wearily. This was insane, why the hell would they have come up here? It was miles out of the way and up some meandering country lane. There was no way in a million years…

"Oh my god!" Jim exclaimed, as they spotted the rogue car. Lara launched herself out of the car almost before he'd stopped and ran over to the car. Dillon followed.

"Patrick!" she hammered on the window frantically

Patrick raised his head from off of Lucy's shoulder in the back seat and nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Patrick! Oh thank god!" Lara exclaimed as he opened the door and got out blearily rubbing his eyes.

"What?" he looked at them all puzzled. Lara was having to force herself not to fling her arms around him.

"We've been looking all night for you two," Jim informed him, as Lucy woke up and got out sleepily. "What happened?"

"We ran out of petrol," Patrick said, looking at Lucy before adding, "It was my fault, not Lucy's. And I took the wrong turning, despite her directions."

"You could have rung us and let us know you were okay," Dillon said, feeling quite angry now that he'd found they were alright. They'd looked incredibly comfortable together on that back seat… maybe Charlie was thinking along the right lines after all. Lucy looked suitably ashamed and was avoiding looking at anyone, and even Patrick looked embarrassed.

"There was no signal," Patrick replied, shrugging. "No harm done anyway. Who won?"