Back at work on Monday, Lucy was desperately trying to avoid not only Patrick, but Lara, Dillon, Jack and Anna too. It was too embarrassing. They'd all made some rumour up about her and the registrar, and she'd heard it flying around the hospital. And after the stuff she'd said to Patrick in the car, the only thing outweighing her embarrassment was her fear that he'd tell someone else. The last thing she needed was for Lara or Charlie or someone to start pitying her, pointing out the poor young widowed nurse. She was actually starting to like Holby, to feel like for once she could settle somewhere. She really didn't want to move again.
As she walked into the ward she could tell that Anna and Tony had been gossiping about her from the guilty looks on their faces when she walked in. Tony instantly moved away from the nurses' station as Max walked in.
"Not got anything better to do than talk, Anna?" he asked coldly. "There's a patient in cubicle three who needs his hand stitching. Can you sort that out please?"
"Of course." Anna scurried away to Lucy's relief. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all. Maybe she'd manage to get through the day without a snide comment or bumping into Patrick or falling prey to Max's temper.
"And you can get into recus!" Max turned to her. "Patrick needs your help. And from what I've heard you two make a good team."
All gone in the blink of an eye.
Walking to her car that evening, Lucy was desperately trying not to cry. This was so stupid, she'd endured worse days than today, far worse days. Childish nurses bitching behind her back, grumpy consultants, a fourteen year old boy with an attitude problem and a drunk throwing up on her were nothing. So why did she feel so down and upset?
"Lucy!" she winced as she heard Patrick calling her name behind her. "Lucy! Wait!"
She refused to wait. It was cold and she didn't want to talk to him. He'd all but blanked her all day, leading everyone to speculate that he'd dumped her spectacularly.
"Lucy!" Patrick caught up with her. "Could you not hear me calling you?"
"I guess not." Lucy continued walking.
Patrick kept step with her. "Listen, I was going to say, if you're worried about me telling anyone about what you said the other night… well, I'm not."
Lucy let her icy attitude thaw a little. "That's good of you."
"Yeah, well, it's nothing to do with me anyway," Patrick pointed out. "And if you don't want people to know… well I think you're crazy, but that's up to you."
Lucy stopped and glared at him. "You what? Since when did you become an authority on my life?"
"I'm just saying," Patrick said, looking bored with the conversation. "I'm speaking as a doctor, you've obviously got some issues…."
"Issues?" Lucy screeched. "You really think so? So as a doctor what do you suggest I do about these issues?" She looked at him disgustedly.
"Well, I've been thinking about that actually," Patrick said awkwardly. He pulled a screwed up bit of paper out of his pocket and awkwardly handed it to her. "Read it, do what you like with it." He turned around and began walking away.
Lucy opened the paper out. In Patrick's unmistakable doctor's scrawl there was a simple command on it: "Challenge 1: Tell Charlie about Jamie."
Lucy stared at it for a few seconds, before looking up to see Patrick's departing back. She was about to call him back and demand he explain what the hell he was suggesting when she read it again. There was no point calling him back. She knew what to do.
"Isn't it your day off, Lucy?" Charlie asked, as Lucy walked in the front door. It was his first day back from Canada, did he really have to deal with Lucy Hart straight away? He'd already heard the rumours about her and Patrick; he was getting too old for this kind of carry on.
"Yeah." Lucy nodded, avoiding looking at Jack and Anna who were talking in low voices and sneaking glances at her. "I know. I was actually here to speak to you. It won't take long. I just… erm…" She could feel her confidence leaving her, this was insane. She'd made a special journey into work to say what? This was so stupid. What did Patrick Spiller think he was doing, telling her what to do, making up stupid little challenges for her. She should never have come, maybe she could just make something up, say she wanted extra shifts or… wanted to resign, yeah, that was a good one, she could just sign a letter, hand it in, leave… it wasn't like she hadn't done it before.
"Actually, it's fine, it can…" she began saying, aware she looked even more of a fool now, when Patrick came through to reception. Lucy reluctantly and involuntarily met his eyes. He raised his eyebrows and she felt a new resolve. She'd damn well show him she wasn't afraid of his stupid challenges.
Charlie finally got tired of waiting. "Do you want to speak to me, or can I get on with some work?"
"Yes, I do," Lucy nodded emphatically.
"In my office?" Charlie suggested.
Lucy nodded again, and followed him into his office. She sat down without being asked and wondered if that was the right thing to do. Her previous stubborn stroppy behaviour had gone, and she got up again hesitantly.
"Oh, have a seat," Charlie insisted. He moved a pile of papers off of the other chair and sat down himself. "Now I haven't got long I'm afraid, I'm supposed to be meeting the board in a while to review Max's performance, but I can spare about five minutes? You should have made an appointment to see me, I could have set aside some more time…"
"Five minutes is fine."
"I heard what happened on the team building exercise," Charlie remarked, hoping she might give something away about the situation between her and the registrar. "Not a huge success I gather."
"Not exactly." She hesitated before adding, "I didn't come to talk about that though."
"Then what did you come for?" Charlie asked. Lucy was always such hard work, why could she never be simple?
The moment of truth had arrived. "Erm, well, I thought it was about time I told you the truth… not that I've really been lying that much, only… well, I made some stuff up but…" Away from Patrick's gaze her nerve had gone again. What relevance did this have to anything? Why the hell did Patrick think this would help her deal with her "issues"?
Charlie was frowning. "Lucy, what are you talking about?"
Lucy shook her head. "It doesn't matter, really, I just…" She took a deep breath. "I just needed to tell you that… that I'm technically Mrs. Hart, not Ms like it says on all my records. I'm married you see… well, was… he… he died." It had come out in a mess in the end, nothing like she'd rehearsed it.
Charlie looked taken aback and blinked a few times trying to digest the information. He wasn't quite sure why Lucy was here still, why she felt she had to tell him this but it was clearly a big deal to her.
"Right," He nodded. "Um, I'm sorry, I assumed… I mean, you've never mentioned it before…"
"No, I know. I know I haven't and I suppose that was technically wrong, withholding information and all that, but I didn't think it was relevant and… and to be honest I didn't want people to know," she admitted eventually. "And I'd still prefer it if it was kept quiet," she added.
"Of course," Charlie said. "Well, erm, thanks for letting me know, I…"
"It's fine." Lucy was suddenly hideously embarrassed and wanted to get out of his office. "Sorry for taking your time up. I'll let you get back to work." She hurried out the door. Charlie followed her looking bemused.
"What's up boss?" Jack looked up from his computer where Charlie was almost certain he wasn't doing any work. "What did she want? Did she hand her resignation in?"
Charlie looked at the receptionist in disgust. "No she didn't. And if you spent more time doing your job and not thinking up filthy rumours like that, this department would be a lot better off."
