SUMMARY: In which our heroine gets several unpleasant surprises.

Lizzie Love - Part Two

Someone was running his hand along her arms, along her shoulder and across her cheek in a tender caress. It had been a while since she'd woken up next to someone - over two years since she'd last slept with Simon...

Elizabeth woke abruptly as she realised that whoever this someone was, he shouldn't be in her bed.

Her eyes flew open and met John's lazy grin from beside her. "Morning, beautiful," he said, leaning over so his lips descended on hers...

John?

She scrambled away from him, in such a hurry to evade him - what was wrong with him? - that she completely missed the edge of the bed and tumbled off in a billow of sheets.

"Elizabeth?" His head appeared over the edge of the bed. And not just his head, but bare shoulders and a significant stretch of chest. "Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" Elizabeth demanded. "What...what are you doing here?"

John was looking at her like she'd grown another head. And oddly hurt. "I sleep here sometimes. Quite a lot lately." That was delivered in a downright smug tone of voice.

'Quite a lot lately'? What...?

Elizabeth was pretty sure she would have remembered if she'd been sleeping with John Sheppard. Firstly, she probably would have received a call from General Landry at some stage about the inadvisability of carrying on relationships with men in her command. Secondly, it would have been base news and someone would have mentioned it to her. Thirdly, Steven Caldwell would have been giving her even more pointed looks than he already was after the Phoebus-Thalen takeover.

And fourthly, because she knew who she wasn't sleeping with and John Sheppard was most definitely at the top of that list!

Okay, stay calm. There's obviously something wrong with him - he's got amnesia, or maybe an alien virus. I'll get Carson to check him over and this will never happen again. Unlucky you.

John, apparently alarmed by her panicked silence, was moving over to 'her' side of the bed, prepatory to getting out. Elizabeth carefully looked away, just in case he was naked. "John?"

"Yeah, beautiful?"

"Please don't call me beautiful."

"But you are."

"I... I'm not in the mood for it right now." Something was definitely going on. This was not John's usual kind of behaviour. She kept staring at the patch of floor. "I want you to do something for me."

"Anything, baby."

Privately, Elizabeth thought 'baby' was worse than 'beautiful'. She let it pass. "I'd like to you go and talk to Carson."

"Another headache?"

"Yes," she lied.

"I can make it better." His tone of voice that left her in no doubt exactly what his idea of 'making it better' involved. Elizabeth wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry.

"I'll stick with the ibuprofen," she said. "Go and see Carson and get me some. You can bring it to my office." And the office will be much safer than the bedroom. I hope.

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure," Elizabeth assured him, still careful to look anywhere but at the man.

"Are you going to get up from the floor?"

"Eventually." Once you've gone away.

She heard him climb out of bed, a little huffy from the sound of it, and kept her face averted as he put on his clothes.

It wasn't until the doors had hissed shut behind him that she reached for her earpiece and paged Carson. It was nearly...oh God, nearly eight-thirty! And her alarm hadn't gone off at it's usual time of seven?

"Carson?" At this hour, Carson would probably be in the infirmary, unless he had a meeting with the medical personnel of the expedition.

"Elizabeth? Is everything okay?"

She was beginning to wonder herself. "I've just sent John to you to get some ibuprofen, but I think you should run a complete medical check on him. He's...behaving oddly."

"Oddly? Oddly how?"

'Climbing into my bed in the middle of the night' oddly, she thought but didn't say. "Just...not the way he usually does." It sounded lame to her ears.

It probably sounded lame to Carson's ears, too. There was a pause, before he came back. "You know he's worried about you."

Elizabeth felt like retorting, Who isn't around here? The volume of concern over her health was touching, but she was feeling very much like she'd just recovered from a bout of something potentially deadly. "I'd still like you to check him over," she said firmly.

"All right. I'll have the results to you by midday."

"Thank you, Carson."

She extracted herself from the sheets, coiling them all together and dumping them on the bed while she went to get dressed.

The closet was full of clothing.

Almost none of it was hers.

There was a lot of green and red. Not the duller, muted greens and reds she might wear around the base, but the vivid emeralds and scarlets. Thankfully, after a quick flip through the wardrobe looking for something she could actually wear, Elizabeth discovered the red and green were rarely together. At least whoever stocked this didn't make her look like a Christmas tree!

Who had taken all her clothing anyway and left all this stuff in its place? And why?

Most of the closet was taken up with dresses. Long balldresses, flowing formal evening gowns slit all the way up to the thigh, short baby-girl dresses - which made no sense since Elizabeth had never suited the style at any point in her life - and slinky black sheaths that she might have worn back when she was in her twenties, but which she felt were decidedly unbecoming the dignity of a woman firmly headed for forty.

The laundry staff usually hang up my regular fatigues. Maybe they folded them up and put them in the dresser somewhere?

Elizabeth went to the dresser and pulled open the drawer that usually held her fatigue trousers in the faded not-quite-olive-green of the Atlantis expedition.

The gleaming reflection of vinyl skirts leered blackly up at her. A quick perusal of the contents found only miniskirts and leather pants - and a pair of fishnet stockings.

Someone around here is definitely having fun with me, she decided. The other drawers held similiarly impractical clothing - in every shape, colour, or style - much of it more suited to an adolescent girl in the throes of a fashion fad than a mature woman.

Even Teyla didn't dress like this while sparring with John. Then again, the Athosians dressed in close-fitting clothing for practicality and ease of movement, not out of any desire to sexualise the body. From what Elizabeth had seen of the Pegasus galaxy, it seemed that sexualisation of the body through scanty or close-fitting clothing was an Earth concept.

She rather envied Teyla her freedom.

Right now, she'd take any item of Teyla's wardrobe over what she had here.

A pair of fatigues were finally located in the bottomost drawer, tucked all the way back, out of sight. They smelled a bit musty from disuse, and were wrinkled, but Elizabeth sighed in relief.

Half an hour, a long shower and some personal grooming later, Elizabeth was working in her office and feeling that things were almost normal.

Well, except for the surprised looks the techs were giving her for being late. Those, she was ignoring.

Then Rodney brought her a cup of coffee.

She took a gulp without thinking, grateful for the drink. By the time she'd thought to get some, she'd been in the middle of a report and writing away. It was easier to ignore the cravings of her stomach and just promise she'd get one mid-morning.

"Thank you, Rodney."

"Oh, there's no thanks necessary," he told her, taking a seat without asking permission. "I was getting myself some - my third cup today - and I thought you might like one."

There were times when Rodney McKay could be the most pissy, annoying, arrogant sonovabitch that Elizabeth had ever had to work with. And she'd worked with more than a few in her time - a high-profile female negotiator often got the deals that were marked, 'comes complete with asshats'. Of course, Rodney made up for it by being brilliant, if immodest, and occasionally quite thoughtful in a Rodney McKay way.

"I would like one and now I have one, so I'm going to say 'Thank you', anyway," Elizabeth told him. She finished up the final paragraph of a report and pondered whether to put any more detail in.

"You're working pretty hard this morning."

She glanced up with a slight smile. "I did sleep last night."

"Really?" He looked skeptical. "Because I saw John heading towards your room--"

"You saw John...?" Elizabeth automatically glanced at the door to check it was shut. It was. "Nothing happened," she assured him. "I sent John to see Carson this morning."

His reaction wasn't anything she'd expected - astonishment. "Why?"

Elizabeth stared back. "Because he turned up in my bed!"

Rodney had the look of someone humouring her - which was strange anyway. Rodney didn't humour anyone - even Elizabeth. "You sent him to Carson because he turned up in your bed...?"

Confused at the emphasis, Elizabeth was still staring at him when the door opened and John strode in. "Morning, Liz!"

"John." She eyed him as the door slid shut behind him. "Did you see Carson?"

"Yeah. And I got your tablets." He held up a packet. "See?"

Elizabeth saw. She also saw him coming around the desk towards her, and pushed herself up in alarm, only to find herself seized and kissed - with disconcerting thoroughness - and trying to fight him off. She shoved him away and ran the back of her hand over her mouth. "What was that?"

"A kiss?"

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

This is not happening to me. It can't be. A glance at Rodney showed him beaming all over his face. Beyond him, in the control room, the techs were craning their necks to see and clapping and cheering like it was some kind of a spectacle!

Elizabeth flushed as she backed away from John, her hands up to indicate he shouldn't come any closer. She ignored the soulful look John was giving her, the hurt expression that suggested she'd just kicked a puppydog incapable of caring for itself, and kept backing up as he followed her.

"John, what's gotten into you today?"

"What's gotten into me? What's gotten into you? God, Elizabeth, I was so worried about you yesterday!"

"When I fainted?"

"You were unconscious for nearly half an hour!"

"I woke up," she pointed out. "I had a good night's sleep, I'm fine. There've been no bad side-effects--" Except for everyone treating me like I'm made of crystal. "I'm back at work!"

"You didn't want me to make love to you this morning!"

Doubletake moment. Elizabeth felt her jaw drop. Her skin heated in an embarrassed flush. She looked at Rodney whose eyes had widened at John's words. "It's not what you think," she told him.

It wasn't what she thought, either. "You didn't want John to make love to you this morning?"

Now it was her turn to stare. And decide that enough was enough. "Rodney," she said, "out." When he hesitated, she pointed at the door. "Now."

John waited until the door slid shut behind Rodney, then took another step forward. "Liz--"

"My name is 'Elizabeth,'" she gritted out. "Not 'beautiful' or 'baby' or anything else you might come up with. And if you can't manage 'Elizabeth' then 'Dr. Weir' will be fine. John, what's going on? You're not usually like this."

Something sulky came over his features. "No, you're not usually like this!" Before she could stop him, he had his hands on her arms, and was looking tenderly into her face. "Did I say something to anger you, baby?"

Her head was spinning - and it had nothing to do with his proximity. "Get your hands off me, John." Elizabeth made the words as hard and cold as she could manage. "Right now."

Thank God, he backed off. She didn't know what she'd have done if he hadn't. John was stronger than she was, and military trained in hand-to-hand besides. He couldn't take out Teyla, but then nobody could take out Teyla except Ronon.

Where were Teyla and Ronon anyway?

"I think you should go and see Carson, Elizabeth," he said, sounding oh-so-reasonable, and very unlike John Sheppard as she'd ever seen him before. "You're not acting like yourself."

"Because I kicked you out of my room?"

"You were the one who fell out of bed this morning because you were trying to avoid me!" Offended and hurt was not John Sheppard - not unless he was fooling around. Elizabeth had a feeling that in this case, he wasn't.

"You were in my bed!"

"Elizabeth, we've been lovers for two years! Of course I was in your bed!"

She stared. Of all the excuses, reasons and possibilities she'd entertained, this was not one of them. "Two years? What are you talking about?"

"From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew I had to have you," he told her passionately. "It was fate, Liz, we're soul-mates!"

I'm going insane, she thought. I have to be. Because John Sheppard - one of the most practical and unromantic men of my acquaintance just used the term 'soul mates' to describe his relationship with me without smirking as though it's a joke.

"And I knew from that first encounter we had, out on the balcony, that we were destined for each other," John continued. "You don't get that kind of passionate argument unless people really desperately want each other!"

If he was talking about the argument they'd had over his going to rescue Colonel Sumner, then Elizabeth recalled being rather more angry at John for wanting to run in and play the hero than desperately wanting him in her bed.

Okay, so she had the occasional fantasy about John Sheppard. What of it? During her time in Atlantis, she'd also had fantasies about Simon, Carson, Rodney, Zelenka, General O'Neill, and Ronon. Once, she'd had one about Teyla. That one had been quite hot - and rather worrying, especially since Elizabeth had never swung that way before. And, from the look of it, wasn't likely to, since Teyla certainly hadn't made any moves on Elizabeth.

It didn't mean anything. She was a mature woman with hormones that occasionally made her horny - it had nothing to do with whom she was attracted to, let alone whom she slept with.

"I only broke up with Simon when we got back to Earth!" Although it was more correct to say that he'd broken up with her. Elizabeth still felt the sting of that, sometimes. Yes, she'd told him to move on, but she'd been disappointed to discover, a mere month later, that he'd moved on so fast.

John shrugged. "You left him behind on Earth when you came on the expedition. He can't have meant that much to you."

Except that she'd also tried to get Simon included on the expedition when she went back!

"And I saved you from Kolya," he continued. "Remember?"

She could point out that he'd saved both her and Rodney from Commander Acastus Kolya, even if her 'death' had been the prompt. "I hope you would have saved anyone in that situation from Kolya and not just me!"

"Well, of course I would." His expression turned indignant. "But because it was you, it means that we have a special connection. Besides," he looked smug, "you can't keep your hands off me! Even Phoebus knew it."

Elizabeth held back a shudder by the thinnest of margins.

Phoebus was one thing she didn't want to remember. The cool feel of the woman's vicious mind in hers, the hatred that had hollowed the soldier out long before time and age took their toll, the manipulation she used to get anything and everything she wanted - if not by charm, then by threat...

Too close to the bone.

"Phoebus wanted me, you, and Thalen off-balance," she reminded him. And get her hands on the man she'd hated and wanted for so long. The description of Thalen as Phoebus' husband had been to get Thalen imprinted into one of the Atlantis personnel, the choice of the expedition's military leader had been for maximum chaos, and the kiss had been because Phoebus wanted to.

John scowled. "No," he said forcefully. "She was influenced by your passionate love for me into getting Thalen into my body specifically so we could kiss!"

Specifically? This time, he shuffled a little when she gaped at him. But if he'd even listened to what was coming out of his mouth, he didn't seem to hear it the way Elizabeth did. In the end, all she managed was, "And then kill each other later?"

"One for the road," he said, shrugging. It didn't seem to bother him, At least, not beyond the fact that the kiss proved we're apparently madly in love with each other. "Besides," he declared, smug as Rodney, "you can't keep your hands off me!"

There were times when the people Elizabeth worked with grated on her nerves. She'd learned when it was getting too much for her to handle. Right now, if she didn't get John out of her presence very soon, then she was going to say something very sharp, very cutting, and very cruel to him.

"Oh?" Elizabeth asked, her voice soft and dangerous. "Watch me!" She pointed at the door. "Get out, John."

He didn't get out right away. At first, he stared at her, as though unable to believe her. Then he began to look hurt, and walked away - slowly, as though he was waiting for her to call him back.

She didn't, of course, and this time when the door closed behind him, she set it so it wouldn't open to anyone unless she authorised their entry. Then she flung herself into her chair and exhaled slowly.

Then she called up Carson again. "Carson, you're sure you haven't picked up anything...different about Colonel Sheppard"

"Quite certain. Elizabeth, what is going on?"

"I'd like to know that myself," she muttered. "Look, would you please check the Colonel again." Thinking of Rodney, she added, "And Rodney, too. In fact, get Teyla and Ronon in." For all she knew it might be the whole team suffering from this...malady.

There was a pause. "Teyla's gone to the mainland."

"Then just the Colonel, Rodney, and Ronon, Carson."

"And do you know what I'm looking for?"

She didn't. "Anything that might be making them behave...strangely."

"Strangely. Right."

Carson promised her some details within the hour and Elizabeth sat back in her chair and resisted the urge to pull her hair out by the roots.

- TBC -