.
Chapter Forty-nine
.
Attention on Nathan
.
A ripple of excitement circulated around the Knox church choir loft as Nathan and Allie entered. After waving at the teachers, Allie headed to the back pew to work on thank you notes. After opening all her greeting cards as well as the gifts, she decided to get started. She would write the notes on the inside of a folded page and use some of her extra drawings to paste on the cover later.
Nathan approached Rachel Bell, since she had invited him, and she welcomed him with a warm smile and outstretched hand. "Nathan! I am so happy you have joined us!" She turned to the rest of the choir who already had their attention riveted on the tall, blue-eyed man standing beside her. As a few additional choir members filed in, Rachel began the introductions.
"Friends? Let me introduce Staff Sergeant Major Nathan Grant who, along with his daughter, recently moved to Regina. Nathan is his preferred title, right?" She looked at Nathan who was nodding. "Nathan is an Instructor at the Academy and will be joining us for at least the Christmas services for which we are practicing." She gave a side glance to Nathan as she continued. "I am hoping he will be willing to sing with us for Sundays ongoing as well?!"
Nathan shrugged and spoke, laughing. "Thank you for having me. Let's get through Christmas before making any other plans!"
"I know there are a lot of people to get to know, Nathan, but you already know the teachers from St. Anne's, so let me give you everyone's name and then they can help you remember from now on. You know Claire and Ardis, Jane Samuels… Oh, you know Jane?"
Jane was just taking her place so she and Nathan exchanged waves. "Our families are quite close." Jane admitted, smiling.
"Oh, good!" Rachel proceeded to introduce the remaining choir members, including Mrs. Susanna Ashley, the secretary at St. Anne's, Miss Margaret Hills, the Headmistress, Mrs. Nell Evans, the Home Economics teacher and Allie's Geography and History teacher, Josiah Walsh. Another Josiah grinned and waved at Nathan as he was introduced. He was Sergeant Josiah Blake, Jared's father whom Nathan knew from the Academy. Claire Collins' fiancée, Dan Richards, also waved his greeting and, along with a couple of other familiar faces and names from Depot, Nathan felt right at home in spite of the size of the group.
"Now, Nathan has a beautiful tenor voice, so he will strengthen that section, but you also need to know I have a few solos already chosen for him to sing for Advent and Christmas. I believe you will thoroughly enjoy hearing Nathan sing!"
Nathan blushed slightly which further endeared him to the ladies who couldn't take their eyes off of him. "Where do I stand, Rachel?"
"Right. Here is your folder and if you could stand in the back row, next to Josiah Blake? You will blend well together. Do you read music, Nathan? I never thought to ask!"
Nodding, Nathan affirmed, "I do."
"All the better!" Once Nathan had found his spot and shook Josiah's hand, Rachel continued. "Let's do some warm-up exercises…"
From the back pew of the sanctuary, Allie was intently watching all that transpired in the choir loft, which was located behind the altar and in front of the raised organ. A pianist was seated in front and Miss Bell stood in the middle to direct the group. Allie had noticed the appreciative glances that her Dad received from her instructors and also took note of the man's name who stood next to her Dad, wondering if Sergeant Blake was Jared's father. On the spot, Allie decided that watching and listening tonight was more interesting than writing thank you notes!
The choir sang a couple familiar Christmas carols in four part harmony and those standing near Nathan were impressed and grateful. His voice was strong, smooth and perfectly in key! Nathan was a welcome addition.
As they learned the parts for a couple special choral arrangements, Rachel recognized that Nathan was musically gifted, so didn't hesitate to ask him if he would mind sight-reading one of the pieces she hoped he would sing. When he opened the folder and saw the title, he laughed aloud.
"I know this like the back of my hand, Rachel! I'll be glad to sing 'Of the Father's Love Begotten' since it is one of my very favorite Carols."
Rachel blushed and was overjoyed. Instructing the pianist to play the introduction, she placed her hands on the music stand, watched Nathan and listened with rapt attention.
A collective sigh was released as Nathan ended the final note and the sigh was followed by murmurs of appreciation. Nathan Grant was a professional musician even if his career stated otherwise!
The following morning, Bill joined Nathan at Parade Square to observe the final drill formations of Troop 4. Included was a demonstration of the RCMP funeral procession, buglers, drum rolls, flag and gun salutes and a lone Bagpipe playing a somber farewell melody.
It was a moving display of Mountie discipline, including marching in unison, sharp obedience to commands, uniforms perfectly fitted and precise and well-rehearsed formations. Although not in uniform, Bill stood tall beside Nathan giving each salute and nod as the Cadets passed by.
Jon Samuels sidled up to Nathan and whispered at a quiet moment when the formation was on the other side of the Square. "I never tire of seeing this. I don't miss the long hours of practicing, but I love to see and hear the final Dress Parades."
Remaining with his feet spread apart and his hands clasped behind his back, Nathan glanced out of the side of his eyes and whispered softly, "Me too."
Back in his office later, Nathan sat with a notepad in front of him. He closed his eyes and mentally relived the funeral formations. He was assisting Drill Sergeant Maxon with the training exercise next week and knew there were things he wanted to say as they prepared the Cadets who were mid-course for the solemnity and emotional displays of a Mountie funeral.
Drill Sergeant Maxon was a strict, no-nonsense instructor. He yelled and chided and cursed and threatened, repeating each exercise until the Cadets moved in unison, obeyed every command to the letter, maneuvered every drill with precision and respected him and each other. At first, Maxon relished the distaste and annoyance the new Cadets fought to hide, but gradually they owned their responsibilities to each other as a Troop, to him and to the Mounties.
After a few months, the respect the cadets displayed was not just respect to the uniform or the rank, but slowly included respect for the Drill Sergeant himself and the confidence he was instilling in them. Outside observers really couldn't understand, but within the Mountie brotherhood? They owed their instructors everything and by the end of the Troops' twenty-six weeks of training, the Drill Sergeant often received words of appreciation.
Nathan had been surprised when Drill Sergeant Maxon approached him to assist, but trusted there was a good reason and as he began to jot down some notes, he thought that maybe he understood. Nathan knew others had commented on his leadership style being strong like steel, but the edges were softened and honed.
Staff Sergeant Major Nathan Grant was perfectly suited to his job and title, but no one who knew him could picture him as a Drill Sergeant, Nathan included! Although Nathan appreciated his early days of training and had the utmost respect for the Instructors and even the Drill Sergeant who had made him the Mountie he was today, it was not in his nature. He knew the value of the shouts and callouts and stern, bordering on cruel, demeanor of the Drill Sergeant. He understood those early days of inspections, corrections, pushups, early wakeups and utter exhaustion were needed to forge a lasting bond between the cadets and often an even more relaxed relationship with the Drill Sergeant himself when he showed his obvious pride for the accomplishments of his troops at their graduation.
Nathan was upstanding and to be respected and obeyed for the man he was by reputation and in-person. His reserve and quiet, added to his calm, sober, firm but kind demeanor, earned him the right to be heard and the cadets listened right along with the Mountie instructors and those at Headquarters across the Square. Yet, although usually reserved for criminals, when Nathan allowed a steely-eyed glance to cross his face, watch out!
Mid-training in each course, the funeral drills began. Cadets from three successive Troops would train together, all with varied levels of expertise. Those with more experience were interspersed so they could keep their eyes open to the newer Cadets. Nathan recalled his initial drill training and that the Sergeant had instructed them to do the hard thing, to think of someone they had lost or an incident in which they participated or observed.
Having observed Nathan Grant on the day he and Zachary discovered each other, Maxon had been impressed and requested Nathan address the Cadets prior to the funeral drills. When Nathan agreed, Maxon had explained what he wanted Nathan to share with the Cadets.
Making his notes, Nathan wrote how he wanted to reassure the Cadets that all Mounties are human. They all have emotions, but every Mountie must choose actions in hard circumstances. They needed to be there for each other and notice anyone struggling. He would tell them that they would not get demerits for breaking rank to support another Cadet. As they repeated the exercise multiple times, he wanted the young men to identify their emotional triggers. The bagpipes? Drumrolls? Bugler? The casket? The flag? The solemnity? The gun salute? The grief for the person lost? All of these could be triggers that needed to be addressed. He would remind the Cadets that the Doctor, Sergeant Murphy, and Chaplain Morgan were standing by so they were to raise their arm if needed.
Satisfied with his preparation for the funeral drills, Nathan returned to his writing project until Wes walked in and sat wearily at his desk. "Hey, Nathan."
"Hey, yourself. You look tired. May I get a cup of coffee for you?"
"You know? You could. One sugar, please and thanks." Wes ran his hands through his hair.
Setting the mug before Wes, Nathan returned to his desk and leaned back in his chair. He placed his boots on the edge of the desktop as he offered. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Yeah. I do. I just had to tell a Cadet his strength doesn't meet the minimum standards to continue. I told him to go home, eat a healthy diet, run and exercise lifting the canned goods in his mother's pantry. After six months, he can return and have another physical. If he has improved he can rejoin with no penalty." Wes took a long sip of the hot coffee. Nodding at it, Wes thanked Nathan, then continued.
"I was then summoned to the Chaplain's office where a Cadet fainted when he learned his mother had died. I got him resuscitated, but had to stay with him for a while as he called his father. Fortunately this Cadet graduates Tuesday so can return home for the funeral, but it isn't easy to relay the message or stand by and watch either."
"No. It isn't easy to deal with a lot of life and death issues." Nathan agreed.
"Thinking of something in particular?"
Nathan glanced out the window and decided that Wes was someone that might understand plus he might meet Zach or hear telephone conversations that would need explanation.
"Wes? Did I tell you about my father? His gambling and imprisonment?"
"You alluded to it, but not in great detail." Answered Wes.
"Okay…" Nathan took a deep breath and gave a condensed version of his youth and his father's struggles. He explained Archer's visit to Hope Valley, his recent jobs and his restoring his marriage relationship with Nathan's mother. "Wes, it turns out Dad had an intimate encounter with a woman after he got out of prison in Edmonton years ago. He had confessed that moment of unfaithfulness with Mom and they had worked through forgiveness..." Nathan paused, then took a fortifying breath before continuing. "But, as a result of that one night, a baby was born. I met him last week, Wes. He is a Cadet here and none of us knew anything about him and he didn't know much about his father."
Wes gasped audibly and Nathan glanced up at him. "It's true. I have a younger brother. Zachary Archer Grant will be twenty-one tomorrow and we are in the process of welcoming him into our family."
As he exhaled his time, Wes spoke his name. "Nathan…"
"We look alike, Wes, very much alike and that is what prompted Sergeant Maxon to ask if we were brothers when we both responded to him calling for 'Grant.' The Chief gave special permission for Zach to come to our home last Saturday to get to know us and us him, plus tell him about Dad. He is a great young man and I really appreciate him. His mother died last year and he has no other family, so he now has us."
"How is your mother with all this? I mean a fresh reminder of your Dad's infidelity?"
"My mother is a saint, Wes. She is practicing forgiveness day and night, and Dad is proving to her that God really did change his heart in prison. He is a new man, thank the Lord. But Mom's main concern is Zach. Her mother's heart is strong, especially for a lonely young man. They are planning to travel from Calgary to visit next week and meet Zach."
"Wow!" Wes shook his head in disbelief. "So you told Allie?"
"I did and Allie took it well, showing concern for Mom, Dad, Zach and me! There is one thing though, we are not sharing these details with everyone. As a matter of fact we are not saying half-brother, we are just talking about my brother from Edmonton. Everyone doesn't need to know the circumstances. So please keep this in confidence?"
"I absolutely will, Nathan. I am privileged you have trusted me with this family news. Thank you." Wes continued while admiring his officemate. "It sure helps me get a better picture of the man you are!"
"This isn't about me, Wes. Within hours of learning about this I was so shocked, that I got sick and wept for a very long time. Still, it is not Zach's fault and he needs to be loved and known as the Grant he is. I tell you this because you may see him around or if he comes here to our office."
Wes wiped a tear from his eyes, watching Nathan.
Seeing the motion, Nathan had a sudden thought. "Oh, Wes. I am so sorry. You have lost a brother and I have gained one. Forgive me for sharing…"
"No, Nathan. You lost a sister, I lost a brother. Yet, life is not about comparison. You gaining a new family member now doesn't hurt me. God has his purposes which we may never know on this earth, but in your case an expanded family is something to rejoice about." Wes smiled. "I look forward to meeting Zach and I am very happy for you all. As unconventional as it is, your loving family is a blessing to know about. God is at work!"
"He is and his ways are amazing. Reminds me of the hymn." Nathan closed his eyes and sang quietly.
'God moves in a mysterious way, his wonders to perform.
He plants his footsteps in the sea and rides upon the storm.
You fearful saints, fresh courage take; the clouds you so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break in blessings on your head.
His purposes will ripen fast, unfolding ev'ry hour
The bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flow'r.
Blind unbelief is sure to err and scan his work in vain.
God is his own interpreter and he will make it plain.' (*5)
Wes leaned back in his chair, at once both appreciative and amazed as he listened and watched Staff Sergeant Major Nathan Grant. He didn't want to interrupt the moment, but he thought to himself. 'And the man can sing!'
Elizabeth confessed to Rosemary that she was tired. After a couple emotionally draining days, she had packed luggage for Jack and herself to travel to Union City. She was excited to get outside of town after so many weeks of intense counseling and recovery and especially grateful she would be traveling with her parents and Hudson. "If I need a nap or an opportunity to get off of my feet, they will care for Jack, or gladly stop for a cup of tea and a rest."
Rosemary had joined Elizabeth for a cup of tea and some cookies while Laura took Jack into town to visit Constable Paul and get a treat at the Ice Cream Shoppe.
"Do you notice you are stronger one week than you were the previous week? Do you feel your progress?" Rosemary was keeping the conversation light so she could assess her friend's condition.
"I do. This week though has been particularly difficult. I've been sharing my history with Nathan and with Allie." Elizabeth stared unseeing out the window. "Rosemary? While writing a letter of apology to Allie, I had a revelation." Her eyes returned to the face of her friend and she whispered her confession of how she had used Allie to connect with Nathan. "No wonder he had to leave Hope Valley. He had to protect Allie from me. Maybe protect himself as well?"
"Elizabeth, Nathan is a strong, wise, loving father, but he is also a man. He didn't run. He stayed in Hope Valley for quite a few years grateful for our community surrounding and supporting him with Allie. I believe you gave him reason to hope for a long time. I believe many in town observed you approaching Nathan to talk or following him with your eyes. But when you got engaged, there was no reason for him to remain and daily reminders of why he should go. When God provided the opportunity at the Academy, he gladly accepted it. It was the right time for him and for Allie. After all, you hadn't been that close to either of them last spring or summer, right?"
"No. I was distracted with Lucas." Elizabeth shook her head. "No, not just that, I was distracted with myself. But, even when things were progressing with Lucas, Nathan was frequently on my mind. I dreamed about him. I searched for the red serge, I watched him from the door of the schoolhouse." Quietly she admitted. "I even watched him from the hotel window when I was with Helen Bouchard… I waited for him to ride by on his rounds, but you already know these things…"
"In part, I do. Yes." Rosemary placed her teacup in the saucer and her hand on top of Elizabeth's. "I think Nathan knew it too. His reasons to leave were multifaceted, but I think one reason he left was out of love for you. I mean so you could devote yourself to the choice you had made without distractions. It seems like a Nathan Grant thing to do, to love you that much."
Elizabeth inhaled quickly, staring at her friend, wide-eyed. "Rosemary! Do you truly think that?"
"I do. You know his selfless nature…. How honorable he is. Nathan Grant is a love to treasure, Elizabeth."
Tears filled and overflowed as this new perspective settled in Elizabeth's heart. 'Nathan wasn't escaping or running away. He was choosing to love her enough to let go. He was putting her needs, and Allie's, above his own, just as he always had done…' After some quiet moments, aloud Elizabeth whispered. "Do you think Nathan still loves me?"
"Only Nathan can answer that question, my friend, but knowing him I would say 'Yes.' His love persevered through incredible trials, patient, gentle and kind." Rosemary squeezed Elizabeth's hand and held up her hand as she stood. "Just a moment."
Going to the bookcase, Rosemary lifted the Bible from the top and returned. Opening to I Corinthians, she found the thirteenth chapter, placing her finger on the fourth verse. "Nathan was never envious. He took the arrows shot his way and handled them with grace, no matter that the arrows pierced his heart. He is humble. He doesn't seek his own desires nor take offense. He rejoices in truth and right, believes the best and endures. Nathan certainly held onto hope while here in Hope Valley." (*21) "Just because he changed locations, Elizabeth, Nathan is still Nathan. For that reason, I believe, yes, he still loves you."
"Rosemary…" Elizabeth spoke after remaining silent for some moments. "I think I need to be alone now."
"Of course. Ponder the verses that are the definition of love, Elizabeth. Pray, think about Nathan and write in your journal." Rosemary stood, collecting her dishes and took them to the sink.
"Enjoy your time in Union City and I'll keep praying for you, Elizabeth." Rosemary assured her friend as she hugged her friend's shoulders before letting herself out the door.
Elizabeth pulled the open Bible closer and reread the familiar verses, but this time she thought about Nathan.
(*5) 'Light Shining Out Of Darkness,' William Cowper, 1774, Public Domain
(*21) Paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
