"You insulted my favourite colour!" fumed Sasuke.

He had discovered a post-it note stuck onto the corner of the headboard of Naruto's bed. Was it supposed to be that stupid a thing to like the colour orange? He found it personally offensive, regardless of whether the blond Uzumaki meant the characteristic to have other connotations.

Naruto winced while nursing an electrical burn on his shoulder from being zapped awake by a furious Sasuke. He rolled his eyes as the slight injury recovered without any jutsu due to his healing factor and swatted at the other in chagrin. He did not understand why his brother was making such a fuss over trivial matters.

"Red plus yellow. It has nothing to do with you or your preference for the colour," answered Naruto, annoyed.

Sasuke glared at the sleepy blond for a moment longer before sighing.

"Where were you all night?" Sasuke huffed, hiding his concern behind a haughty attitude.

Naruto heard the worry behind Sasuke's haughty front, but he still decided to tease the other.

"Since when were you my wife?" Naruto asked mildly.

Sasuke spluttered and retorted, "Who's your wife? No one would even want to marry you in this life!"

Naruto snorted and covered his head with a pillow, "Sure, sure."

"Where were you?" Sasuke demanded, dragging the pillow away.

"You're acting as if I cheated on you," Naruto answered flatly.

Sasuke's eyes went wide as his cheeks burned crimson.

Pointing shakily at Naruto, he stammered, "You... You...!"

Naruto chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling pleasantly. Of course, Sasuke was not in the mood to care whether Naruto had a nice smile or an ugly one. Since Hashirama, Asura has always gotten a kick out of poking fun at his brother. Sasuke's innocence made it much easier to do in this incarnation. It will be such a waste if Naruto let this childhood pass without taking full advantage of it.

"How can you be so shameless?" Sasuke exclaimed, poking Naruto harshly in the ribs without mercy.

Naruto could no longer laugh when his brother broke his ribs out of spite.

With a cough, he straightened the bones and healed himself.

"I was with Itachi-san," Naruto informed lightly.

Sasuke blinked twice.

Naruto did not give the other the chance to speak.

"Yes, I was referring to your precious onii-san. Doesn't this seem like a scene right out of one of those dramas?" Naruto joked, winking suggestively.

Sasuke's eye twitched as he threatened, "I do not care if you 'cheat' on me with anyone else, you playboy, but if you hurt my brother..."

A snicker reached Sasuke's ears, and the Uchiha belatedly realised that he was overreacting.

"You realise that he's your elder brother this time, right, bro-con? Anyway, I never did anything like what you were imagining," Naruto told Sasuke with a pitying expression.

Sasuke was briefly lulled into an illusion that the previous argument was merely fuelled by his overactive imagination. Of course, since he was not nearly that easy to fool, that was for but a moment before he recovered his wits. It took all of the restraint Sasuke could muster to stop himself from lunging over to throttle Naruto.

"I was merely doing a follow-up to check on his eyes after the surgery," Naruto explained simply.

Sasuke nodded in understanding, then froze as the meaning of those words struck him. There was too much information that was so casually revealed in that brief explanation. The meaning implied was too bizarre - he needed some time to think it over.

"You did... what?" Sasuke squeezed out with difficulty.

Naruto lifted the corners of his lips and answered breezily, "Check-up. I gave Itachi-san an eye transplantation surgery."

Sasuke gazed down at the lazily sprawled-out form of his brother of many, many generations and took a deep breath to calm himself down.

"So... How much does he know?" Sasuke asked in dread.

"Enough. Not that you're the reincarnation of the Uchiha clan ancestor - if that's what you're asking," said Naruto, sitting upright in bed - it was not like he would be able to go back to sleep like this.

Sasuke heaved a sigh of relief.

Naruto reached out, and a branch handed him a length of red cloth and a neat stack of classic Uchiha clothing.

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow, somewhat fascinated by this careless demonstration.

"You can control plants using your Mokuton?" Sasuke asked in intrigue.

Naruto replied with a grin, "Of course! Though the principles behind it are a little different, it is still within the scope of my abilities. Now, oh brother mine, do not struggle. Everything will be alright."

With those mysterious words, Sasuke's vision went black and he fell unconscious.

Naruto's cackling was vaguely audible to the passed-out Uchiha even in the darkness of his artificially-induced comatose state.


"Hello, Itachi-san? It is me, Naruto. Could I trouble you to summon me to your place?" Naruto spoke through the seal.

"Right now, Naruto-kun?" Itachi asked, with a touch of incredulity.

"Yes," Naruto agreed, unperturbed by Itachi's reaction, "it would be preferable if you were alone. A secure place where you would not be disturbed, if possible."

Itachi's puzzlement was almost palpable in the next words he transmitted, "I will summon you now. I am in my private chambers. I hope that this is adequate?"

Naruto beamed, securing his cargo as he told the other party through the connection, "Please free up some space for me..." Itachi did as he requested and moved aside the coffee table. "Alright, that's good. I just need a little bit of chakra. Don't overdo it."

Itachi channelled enough chakra into the seal to cast a D-rank Bunshin no Jutsu, expecting to see the familiar blond child appear soon after.

Itachi was stunned when Naruto, instead of appearing alone like before, entered Itachi's current place of residence with a big gift box in tow. The excessively large present seemed rather disproportionate placed next to an eight-year-old, its dimensions of height, breadth and width comparable to Naruto's lacking height. The cube was navy blue, while the ribbons were pearl-white and tomato-red. It bore a stark resemblance to the crest of the Uchiha clan, which the recipient astutely thought was likely intentional.

Still very much befuddled, Itachi faced Naruto after overcoming his surprise.

"Naruto-kun... this is...?" he asked, haltingly.

"Itachi-san, happy birthday!" Naruto cheered, nudging the large gift towards the Uchiha.

"Thank you," Itachi said softly. "You didn't have to."

To be honest, Itachi forgot all about the subject once Naruto left a month ago. Indeed, Naruto lied to Sasuke before. The revelation was just too shocking that Sasuke did not think to question it. Naruto late return and lack of sleep were not due to a late-night visit to the Akatsuki hideout Itachi stayed in.

He was so busy with their low-pay S-rank commissions that he had forgotten that Naruto had ever brought up the matter of a birthday gift. It was almost a year since his departure from the village of his birth and subsequent infiltration of the S-rank shinobi organisation Akatsuki. The world beyond Konohagakure's borders was not so peaceful a place. This was but one of many factors that contributed to Itachi's worsening mentality.

"Hurry up and open it!" Naruto cheered excitably, his eyes bright as he peered up at Itachi.

Itachi smiled, subconsciously mirroring the vivacious child's mood.

He reached out and tugged the ribbon, which came undone easily. He hesitated to remove the lid of the box, suddenly unwilling to reveal the contents so soon. He would have been touched even if Naruto's birthday present was just an empty box. It was a beautiful box, after all, and he thought it was plenty for the blond to have even remembered his birthday.

Birthday parties and celebrations were often a private family affair in the Elemental Continent, a tradition stemming from the Warring States Period. Such ceremonies were prime time for enemy shinobi to act and the only trustworthy entity to a shinobi was the clan that they were loyal to. It was taboo for one to cause bloodshed during an event such as a celebration of life, but that was insignificant in the world of shinobi. One simply did not care about such formalities with lives on the line.

Naruto worried his lower lip as he waited for Itachi to finish unwrapping his gift.

If Itachi waited any longer...

"Go on!" Naruto urged Itachi on, staring at the still-closed box with his brows knitted.

Itachi did not notice Naruto's anxiety - his emotions did not leak into his voice - and closed his eyes to take a deep breath before opening the box at last.

Itachi gawked when he opened his eyes to the muffled sounds of complaint to see a teary-eyed raven-haired boy wearing clothes with the same colour scheme as the box. In what some would consider a rather erotic manner, known as shibari, he had been bound in soft red cloth. Though this was the case, both the one who was tied up and the one who tied the other up knew the art as a strictly technical thing. Convicts and traitors would be tied up like this, trussed up in front of the clan or village, though Naruto used a gentler variation to restrict his victim's movements.

"...Sasuke?"

Sasuke was silenced when he met Itachi's startled gaze.

Naruto hid behind Itachi.

He was hoping to get the older Uchiha to open the box quickly for this reason. If Itachi did not stall for so long, they might have gotten the bound Uchiha Sasuke out of the box much sooner. At least it did not wait until Sasuke destroyed his bonds and prison, Naruto comforted himself.

Red-faced from the embarrassment, Sasuke looked around with searching eyes - he knew that Naruto had to be around here somewhere.

Itachi was completely flabbergasted. This was his first time seeing his precious otōto in such a flustered state. He had no other thoughts - or else Naruto would have personally delivered his soul-brother to the tiger's den - but did not know what to do in this situation. He abruptly felt the memory of his dialogue with Naruto surface.

"Sasuke... I would like to apologise to him."

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it? Consider that done. Sasuke will be waiting for you, wrapped up nicely with a bow and all."

Be careful of what you wish for, lest it come true.

That saying was particularly relevant in resonating with Itachi's current situation - he deeply regretted wishing for Sasuke's presence as his birthday gift. More than anything, he should have told Naruto that the "bow" was unnecessary. Even if he thought it was a joke, there was no reason for him to have let the blond boy get carried away like that. He should have known better than to let the Uzumaki run wild - old fables told of how over-the-top they can get.

Sasuke suddenly heard a voice transmission from Naruto, who was nowhere in sight, "You will be cooperative and let Itachi-san apologise to you. I promised to deliver you to him wrapped up prettily, with ribbons."

Sasuke would have face-palmed if he could.

Naruto seemed as dense as ever, at times like these.

"You two have fun catching up with each other. I'll leave so that you can have your privacy."

Sasuke's eyelid twitched violently as he shouted past the gag.

Naruto, who was gone without even a flash to mark his exit, did not hear the muffled sound of protest.

Itachi looked helplessly at the complicated and artful weave of silken red ribbon that stood out starkly over the pale flesh of his younger brother.

"How do I untie this?" he asked the air, not daring to reach out to touch Naruto's masterpiece.

Sasuke reluctantly acknowledged Naruto's skill in the art of shibari - that dumb brother of his has always been skilled in the strangest of areas. Well, he would let this pass since it was all for Itachi. Nevertheless, he will take his revenge for the humiliation of today. He would pardon Naruto for kidnapping him, even without Itachi, but he could not forgive Naruto for his transgressions of today. Not for presenting him to anyone in such a vulnerable position, at the very least.


"This is... a bit creepy," Sasuke commented, staring wide-eyed at a humanoid plant.

It had woody skin and green tendrils for hair but was otherwise a perfect replica of the raven-haired Uchiha who was circling around it with a disgruntled frown on his tender face.

Naruto shrugged and offered the other a kunai.

"Your blood should grant it a more realistic appearance," Naruto informed, unfazed by the eerie similarity between the plant and the human who stood side-by-side.

Sasuke's eye twitched.

"It will also form a connection between the plant-puppet and yourself. You should be able to control it with some practice," Naruto declared.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"As would a chakra construct?" he mused, turning on his Sharingan as he squinted at the plant.

The chakra circulatory system of the so-called puppet was terrifyingly complete. It resembled that of a human's so flawlessly that it gave Sasuke goosebumps. It seemed alive, chakra coursing through its wooden body just like all other conscious beings.

"Yes, though you would have to manipulate it from afar," Naruto affirmed as he put a plain yukata on the unmoving lifeform that looked so much like his brother.

It was subtle, but Sasuke could have sworn he saw a shift in the plantlike version of himself.

"That thing has consciousness, doesn't it?" Sasuke questioned, quiveringly, backing away with his chakra instinctively flaring - ready to attack or defend.

Naruto chuckled as he patted the Sasuke-lookalike with a look of fondness and affection that triggered warning bells in the Uchiha's psyche.

"You couldn't have been... influenced by it somehow? You are still Kurama's jinchūriki, aren't you?" Sasuke muttered, glaring at the plant-human.

Naruto snickered at the obvious alarm that his brother was showing.

"I am not under some genjutsu, Sasuke. This child is sentient - as are all plants. It will take your appearance and follow your instructions, but is just as alive as you and I. The only difference, if I had to name one, would be the ability to feel pain. It would not hurt for this one if it were cut in half. Being bisected will just cause it to regrow into two new wholes. I have made two of them - they will not have to die at the end as long as you don't set them on fire. They are heat-resistant, though, so even that would be difficult," Naruto explained serenely.

Sasuke perked up and queried, "Does that mean you can control Zetsu?"

Naruto face-palmed in exasperation.

"However Zetsu might appear, it is no plant. Zetsu exists as a manifestation of Kaguya's will, and can't be considered alive anyway. I don't just manipulate plants as I would control my chakra. In any case, they are alive and conscious. I connect with them and speak to them - they are similar to summoned beasts in that sense. Nonetheless, something like a tree or flower contract doesn't exist. I commune with nature. I listen to their thoughts and tell my requests to them in turn," stated Naruto, demonstrating by receiving a ripe apple from a branch that reached through the window.

Sasuke suspected that same branch to be the one that brought the ribbon Naruto used to bind him.

"Of course, they do not always understand and execute as I bid. They have personalities, and some will do things for me before I have to ask for it. Others would be uncooperative at first or have tasks they wish to see completed before they are willing to lend me their aid. They are all different but are equally pure and simple. I oftentimes find them more lovable than humans," Naruto appended, as an afterthought.

Sasuke blinked a few times as he tried to process this.

"So, why isn't this one moving?" Sasuke asked slowly.

Naruto chuckled, "This one is still young, and it's of a new species that I bred to bear features to resemble humans. If it moves, I'm afraid it will distort the face that it worked so hard to develop to match yours. The silly child does not dare take chances, even though I assured it that it would still look like you as long as you activate this seal with your blood."

Sasuke nodded mindfully.

He then remarked idly, "No wonder you are acting like that. You treat that thing as your child. I have only seen you handle Tsunade and Nawaki so carefully, despite your kindness to others."

Naruto sighed, rubbing his temples tiredly, "Speaking of Tsuna, I hope she is well. Of all things to learn from her old man, to think she chose to follow in my footsteps to become a drunkard..."

Sasuke burst into uproarious laughter, managing to utter between cackles, "If that was all, it wouldn't be an issue. The problem is that she's addicted to gambling! And her luck's so rotten that it is unbelievable that she's even your daughter."

Naruto shoved Sasuke lightheartedly. "I don't care about that. It's fine as long as she's happy!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, asking in amazement, "You don't care that she's squandered your family fortune?"

"She suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and has a severe case of haemophobia. I just fear that she might have gotten taken advantage of..." Naruto mumbled, sinking into low spirits once more at the reminder of Tsunade's money-management skills (or lack thereof).

Sasuke felt a bit guilty when Naruto drooped into his depression corner as a dark cloud rumbled over his head. Even his spiky blond hair drooped sadly as he looked down gloomily. No one will ever know where he summoned that cloud from - perhaps he also had an unsurpassable water affinity like his now-deceased younger brother Tobirama?

With a low cough, Sasuke changed the topic hastily, "So, with this new vessel, what elemental affinity did you end up with?"

Naruto's raincloud dissipated and, though he still looked upset, he answered the question, "My primary affinity is wind. I can, surprisingly, still use all five chakra natures. Following after wind is my wood release, though I use water and earth just as well. For some reason, I'm better with the individual elements in this lifetime than I was as Hashirama. My atrocious execution of jutsu that were supposed to be of the chakra natures I was born with was beyond pathetic. I was just inept, so I came up with the wood release to make up for it as a child. I found myself able to use all five chakra natures alongside yin and yang in the end, but that was after I created Mokuton."

Sasuke's eyes, Sharingan still activated, widened in surprise.

"You can use all seven still? Yang release is blocked for me at the moment. It might be due to the Uchiha lineage's Curse of Hatred," Sasuke muttered, moulding yin chakra into a ball in one hand.

"You are one of the last Uchiha, so the curse might have sublimated in you," Naruto agreed dully.

Sasuke felt his eyelid twitch.

The dense buffoon.

Round one was a fail.

He would try this again...

No more implicit meanings.

"I couldn't shrug it off in all these years. Don't you think I should get rid of it before it starts to hinder my sense of reasoning?" Sasuke hazarded another attempt to steer Naruto to the topic that he wished to address.

"That's great," Naruto agreed in a monotone, not quite paying attention.

Round two crashed and burned.

Did he have to spell it out for him?

Resigned, Sasuke spoke arduously, "Would. You. Help. Me. Seal. It. Or. Something?"

Naruto blinked as he was snapped out of his daze.

"Huh?" he asked stupidly.

"I, Indra, am asking for your help, Asura," asserted the reincarnation of Indra.

Naruto stared a while longer and finally replied, sarcastically, "Oh, how honoured I am to have the great Ōtsutsuki Indra seek my assistance in this crucial matter."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, outwardly dismissive of his brother's behaviour. Separated after so many generations of Uchiha and Senju as they were, their brotherhood was stalwart and unwavering... To say that would be a lie. Even so, while there may have been countless twists and turns in their relationship, he cared for Asura regardless of all that has passed. He would not show it, his pride was at stake here, but he was glad that Naruto felt better - even if it meant that Naruto will vent it on him, Sasuke was relieved that Naruto was not so frustrated by his helplessness anymore.

"Considering everything, the curse you bear seems to be yin in nature," Naruto inferred from the observations he has made thus far.

Sasuke hid a faint smile. Despite his display of nonchalance, Naruto immediately got to analysing Sasuke's situation.

Right. This concern of his was not one-sided. Asura, too, cared about him.


It was a long time after their exchange that the ridiculousness of their discussion sank in.

Sasuke sprang up after lying awake in bed for a while, scattering his blankets on the ground in his hurry to get out of bed despite the late hour, and made a beeline for Naruto's bedroom with a skilled Shunshin.

Without knocking, Sasuke threw the door wide open and exclaimed breathlessly, "Naruto! Why didn't you just use those plants of yours?"

"What do you mean, Sasuke?" Naruto asked placidly, setting aside the book he was reading in the lamplight.

Sasuke wanted to chide the other party for not sleeping at this hour but was silenced by the realisation that he too was awake and had no place to tell Naruto off, which left him speechless for a moment.

Naruto nestled snugly in a pile of blankets on the window seat, basking in the moonlight, which hinted that he did not intend to sleep at all on this night.

"You have those plants," Sasuke reminded, gesturing at the window. "I take that distance is not a concern in your communication with flora?"

"Yes, but only if it's a plant that I have bonded with before. If not, it will take time to find the right one... Alternatively, I can get the trees to pass on a message. You would not know, but the plants of this world are most fond of gossip," Naruto answered, somewhat bemused as he indulged Sasuke with a response.

Sasuke had a mostly-baseless feeling of being talked down to or doted on - or so he thought - and shrugged it off carelessly.

"Tell them to run errands for you. You can even inquire for news on Tsunade-chan through the grapevine - literally in your case. There's no reason for you to mope around like this. You could have even gone on to establish an undetectable informant network throughout the continent!" Sasuke shouted, shaking Naruto's shoulders forcefully to emphasise his point.

Naruto tilted his head to the side, pensive.

"Florae do not form any intrinsic society, and for good reason. Their language comprehension ability vastly differs from individual to individual. Many lack the concept of self and others have disjointed consciousness due to their structure. They echo information well enough, but if one wished to convey a message to a large group of them... It would be quite difficult," said Naruto, scratching his cheek.

"Will the message be lost or changed along the way?" Sasuke queried, interested.

Naruto shook his head in rejection. "No, they just do not understand it cohesively. They will each have drastically different takes on what is said - not quite different from humans in that sense. They also have difficulty understanding when they are being also addressed individually when I speak to them as a whole. That is why my intent must be channelled for usable contact to be established with florae, but this is not viable in long-distance transference."

"I could..." Sasuke tried to volunteer but was shot down before he could finish speaking.

"No, you will get a headache trying to understand. They fail most miserably in grasping the concept of speaking in turns," Naruto interjected, rubbing his temples. "Their cacophonous chatter can be quite... distracting."

Sasuke shrugged and remarked, "It was but a suggestion. I doubted I would be able to do it anyway. I was never been blessed with the ability to use senjutsu, so I do presume I will be unsuccessful in this too."

"And you wouldn't want to hear them either," Naruto assured his brother.

They simply could not be taught differently, Naruto lamented, silently, to himself.

"However, that is admittedly a worthwhile endeavour. I shall attempt to construct a 'grapevine', as you call it," Naruto conceded.

No one would notice either, Naruto decided, if he chose to eliminate all of the wrong-doers in Tsunade's immediate vicinity. That will ensure the safety of all civilians there, he managed to convince himself, and it had absolutely nothing to do with protecting his defenceless daughter from being robbed while dead drunk. It was all for the wellbeing of the denizens of Hi no Kuni.

Successfully self-hypnotised, Naruto started travelling across the continent to spread his influence among florae. Though unwittingly, Naruto ended up building up quite the reputation within in the areas of vegetation he had yet to visit. If transliterated into human speech, his title among the chatty plants that he prematurely concluded as lacking inter-floral (?) communication grew to become quite a hefty designation.

They called him Tsuchigami, god of the earth.

It was such an exalted moniker that he would have immediately purged them of such ideas but he, unfortunately, missed it and would not hear of this until it was too late. He never knew then, that he had such fame amongst florae. They once called him Shokubutsu no Yūjin, translatable as the Friend of Florae. The aforementioned was a nice epithet - he liked being labelled as the friend of plants. He just never realised when his status was further lifted, and he was eternally deified amongst plants as a god. He never desired to stand on that pedestal with his father and grandmother before him. It did not matter, to him, whether or not it was within the same circles. Godhood simply never moved his heart.

With such undercurrents sweeping through the continent, the world changed thoroughly without anyone the wiser as the plants were unified under one ruler as none have done before.

At the same time, mysteriously, lowlifes and criminals started appearing before bounty collection stations, trussed up in tough cords twisted from vines or materials of similar origin. Should money be left at the same spot, it would soon disappear without the persons (?) involved showing themselves. Bizarre theories cropped up one after another, but the truth behind these rumours would never be determined in the history of the Elemental Continent.


"The mysterious occurrences will continue," hummed a deeply pleased spiky ponytailed boy as he reached one hand up as if to grasp at the clouds. "This is fun."