Chapter Two: An Impossible Decision
~ Kara ~
I was patrolling, happy that the latest threat with the leviathans was resolved. Although I couldn't get Snowbird out of my mind, my copy, my twin that never even had a proper name. Linda Lee was just an alias, and was clearly given to her by Lex with his family's bizarre fascination with names starting with L. I wanted her in my life as another sister, but all I could do was relive the memories she gave to me as we merged.
Of course the patrolling and focusing on Snowbird was an attempt to keep Lena out of my head. I could feel something break between us, that bond we shared was now tenuous. I wasn't sure where we stood, and I had a feeling I wouldn't hear from her again if I didn't press the issue. But I couldn't invade her privacy, so I just closed my eyes and listened to the city. Focusing on the small cries for help. Thankfully most were innocuous, and not needing my attention, until I heard her call to me.
"Kara, help me." Her voice was weak, almost a whisper. But it was Lena. I turned towards Lena's apartment and flew as fast as I dared within the city. Once I landed on her balcony I couldn't immediately locate her, her breathing and heartbeat were very weak, just like her voice. Then there was a slush of water, and I rushed into the bathroom and saw her sitting in water up to her neck, water that was tinted red. One whiff and I could tell it was blood, her blood.
"No, no, no, no, no…" I began to shout as I flashed over to her. She was still in her suit, with a well maintained straight razor sitting on the floor next to the tub. Her heart was weakening and I had no time to lose. I lifted her out of the water and used my heat vision to cauterize the cuts on her wrists, and took off towards the closest hospital.
"Help! Please someone help!" I screamed desperately as I ran with her into the emergency room. The clerk looked up at me lazily and his eyes widened when he saw me in full Supergirl regalia holding Lena's limp body. My arms felt like jelly, and I couldn't think I was so upset. He hit a button and seconds later a team rushed out with a gurney and took her away. I wanted to force my way back, but I didn't want to interfere. I knew I was partially to blame for her condition, and my guilt was forming in my stomach like a lead ball.
I sat down in the chairs, with people openly staring at me. I wasn't paying attention to them, I was focused on the beat of her heart. Hoping it would get stronger. After only a few minutes I heard it stop. I was moving before I could really process what I was doing. I couldn't imagine my world without her in it. I found them working on her, doing CPR but it wasn't bringing her back.
They continued at it for a long time, until one of the doctors looked at his watch and said, "Time of death, 6:47pm." Then someone came over to me, "Supergirl, I understand you brought her in, do you know her name?"
I couldn't answer, I just started to cry. No, I wasn't just upset, I was broken. Something deep inside me was dying. I pushed past the doctors, not caring about decorum or laws, and picked her up pulling away the tubes they had stuck into her. I sped out of the hospital and took to the air, not entirely sure what I was going to do.
I hovered above National City, lost, and feeling a wave of rage and pain that I couldn't escape building inside of me. I had failed her again, and I had to do something. Anything. Reviving her was my only thought, and the only place where that might be remotely possible was the Fortress. I aimed myself north and took off, letting go of my pain in a scream as I broke the sound barrier just as I passed beyond the city. As I flew towards the far north faster than I had ever flown before, I could feel the heat draining from her body. The spark of her life was slipping away. Once I landed, I laid her down on the main altar, and realized her body was cold.
Lena Luthor was dead.
Kelex appeared just as I arrived, and he was staring at me waiting for instructions. Openly sobbing, I tried to speak, and it took several tries to calm myself down enough to get out the question. "Is there anything we can do for her?" I asked in the smallest voice. The robot nodded and flew over her body, scanning her several times. He initiated an energy field that spread over her, and after a few minutes he got her heart beating again. I felt a spark of hope as I waited for any news. After an hour he stopped, my hand still clutching Lena's which was now warm to the touch.
"This is a difficult puzzle. Her body needs to be recharged, all electrical signals in her brain have ceased. There are two methods to repair such damage, one of which has a low success rate but is more compatible with her species. The other would be a radical procedure." He spoke in a detached, almost clinical way, delivering the information impartially.
"Radical in what way?" Curious, but numb. When I heard low success and my heart sank, the other option was the only real chance I had to get her back.
"While the actual application of the second option would increase the chance of success to close to ninety percent, the method only works on Kryptonian physiology." Kelex sounded conflicted as though the implications were larger than he was saying.
"Lena isn't Kryptonian." It was a silly statement, of course Lena wasn't Kryptonian.
"No, but humans share a 92.3 percent genetic similarity with the Kryptonian genome. Theoretically we could attempt a cellular restructuring coupled with a spark of creation from the Birthing Matrix. Then we can initiate a regeneration and energy reinstatement. She should regain full cognitive abilities with only a ten percent chance of long term memory loss." His clinical delivery lacked warmth but relayed to me what he was proposing with clear implications. He was proposing altering Lena so that she would no longer be human, I felt a desperate laugh escape my chest.
"But to make her a Kryptonian, I didn't know that was possible." I was at a loss, I had never heard of something like this, and if Kal had he never told me about it.
"Technically it isn't. If Lena were alive it would be impossible." The detached way he said it made me flinch. If Lena were alive… the mere idea of her being gone felt like a dagger to my chest. Worse than if she had simply rejected me after learning the truth. I looked down at her hand clutched in mine and I felt a wave of confusion, he had gotten her heart to beat again.
"But she's warm, isn't she alive?" I knew it was a stupid question, Lena was brain dead. Everything that made her special, was gone.
"No, that effect is artificial. I needed to activate some functions to stem off additional degradation. There would be no hope of recovery if we leave her like this." Kelex said with more warmth, which helped even though I knew his programming was adapting to my current needs.
"Would she want this?" I wondered to myself outloud.
Kelex shook his head. "I do not know Kara, however, she has a will on file with a lawyer in National City. It leaves all of her possessions to you. You are also listed as her primary power of attorney in case she is ever incapacitated. So legally it is your decision." I stared at him in shock, and then down at Lena, her hair still pulled into a tight ponytail. She had trusted me with her life, again. I reached back behind her head and pulled off the hairband spreading her dark hair out and up and onto her shoulders. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful.
She had chosen death. Who was I to take that choice away from her? But she had also called for me, asking for help. Did that mean she had changed her mind? Or was just afraid of dying alone? I didn't know the answer, she had always fought so hard to survive. Finding brilliant solutions to the most impossible situation. Now it was my turn, a solution lay before me and I didn't know what to do. I caressed my hand across her right check, shutting my eyes on tears that fell down my own cheeks.
I didn't look up, but nodded towards the robot. "Thank you Kelex, how long do I have to make this choice?"
"Now, there is no time to waste." His voice was still soft and warm, but there was an urgency to it that made me realize I was waiting time.
I looked up at him with curiosity and a touch of fear. "Will she be like me?"
He took a second to consider the question. "I'm not sure. The process is unprecedented, and I do not know exactly how much I will have to alter to complete the cellular restructuring." He paused and looked down at Lena. "This will be a balancing act, as I build up her cells so they are capable of storing the energy of this yellow star. I will use Kryptonian cells as a template, so yes she will be like you to an extent. She will be stronger, and nearly as impervious, she will also have a few extranormal abilities in time including the power to manipulate gravity like you and your cousin. Primarily she will have your longevity. Additionally, should you ever wish to create offspring, your genetic compatibility would be nearly one-hundred percent."
"I… that's not important." I closed my eyes, knowing this was supposed to be a harder choice. But ultimately there wasn't a choice, I couldn't live without her. "Do it. Bring her back to me." I said, feeling like I was breaking some kind of sacred trust. I had no idea how Lena would react to this. It was a violation, perhaps an unforgivable one. But I couldn't let her go.
There was a flash of red light, and Lena's body was raised up into the air as though being grasped by an invisible hand. I had to let go of her as she raised above my head. After ascending ten feet into the air the altar began to glow, and several pieces of crystal flew up from it and started to form around her until she was completely cocooned within a crystalline bubble. As the last piece fell into place the red light extinguished and inside the pod the same red light appeared. A second later there was a whoosh of air next to me. I looked over through bleary eyes to find Kal looking very stoic and upset, with black smears covering his face and costume.
"I heard your scream, but I was trying to save some miners caught in a cave in. Are you okay? Why did you come here?" I didn't look at him, still transfixed by the floating pod in front of me. This drew his attention and he tilted his head in curiosity. "What's going on?"
I shook my head, and started to explain something I didn't fully understand. "I'm not entirely sure. Kelex found a solution, but I've never heard of something like this. He's making her part Kryptonian."
Kal took a step forward, examining the pod. "Wait, what? Someone is in there? Who?" He asked, looking back at me.
"I saved her." Was all I could think to say, my mind not clear enough to fully comprehend my actions.
He took a step forward, and gently placed his hands on my shoulders. "Kara, who is in there? Is it Alex?" The worry on his face was so real, he was hurting for me.
I shook my head. "No, it's Lena."
His nostrils flared and his eyes grew cold. He turned toward Kelex and took a few steps forward. "We have to stop this! Now!" He was so angry.
The robot moved in front of the pod. "Kal-El, sir, the process cannot be halted."
Kal clenched his jaw, and through gritted teeth he hissed. "I don't care."
Kelex's eyes turned red, going into sentinel mode. "This pod is tied directly to the Birthing Matrix. If I halt the procedure, it will damage the data held within. It is the legacy of Krypton, and my programming prevents such an act. I would be forced to defend the pod should you decide to interfere."
Kal turned back towards me in frustration and anger, his fists clenched. "Kara, how could you do this? That is a Luthor in there." Kal shouted, pointing towards the pod for emphasis. "Do you have any idea what Lex has done to me, to Lois? What he's done to the world, how many people he's killed? The Luthor's crave power above all else, and you've handed them our abilities on a silver platter. What were you thinking?"
His fury brought me out of my numbness for a moment, and I felt myself get angry. "No, it's Lena. She isn't anything like the rest of her family." I said taking a step forward aggressively.
Seeing my reaction his face shafted, and a look of sympathy took over. "I know you think well of her Kara, but I cannot abide any Luthor having that much power."
I looked him in the eyes defiantly. "She is family Clark, I trust her implicitly."
He immediately began to shake his head again. "Perhaps, but I cannot risk…"
"She killed Lex to protect me!" I knew it was a mistake the moment the words were out of my mouth, but he had to know.
"Lex is dead?" He looked shocked, and then he frowned. "Kara. That just proves my point."
He didn't understand me. It wasn't the act of her killing her own brother, it was the reason behind the act. "She did it to protect me. Then a few hours later in a fit of guilt she killed herself. She's saved my life so many times. She's done so much good, and given so much of herself without thought of reward. She is good, she's a hero… and I love her."
He looked a bit taken aback, but nodded in acceptance. "I didn't know all of that, and I know you love her, she's been a good friend to you. But Kara…"
I shook my head emphatically, he was missing the point. "No Kal, I love her."
His face fell and he actually took a step back. "Oh wow, you're in love with her."
I nodded once, the tears starting to come again. "I didn't realize it until she was gone. I've been so worried about telling her my secret, and then Lex happened. He told her as he died, probably meant to embitter her towards me. Then when we talked we fought, and she told me to go. So, I obeyed her wishes. I should've stayed with her, but she needed time and space. I thought I might try to talk to her in a couple of days. Maybe keep at her until she talked to me again. Then I heard her whisper halfway across the city. A cry for help, but it was too late. Her heart gave out after I got her to the hospital. They couldn't bring her back. So I brought her here. I never expected Kelex to actually have a solution. It was just my last desperate act."
Kal turned towards the robot who had been watching quietly, the red of his eyes having already faded. "Kelex, that is why you acted, isn't it?"
"Yes sir. Jor-El made sure I was programmed to obey you and Kara in all matters relating to love and family here on Earth. Including experimental means of prolonging their lives. I have several ideas on how you can increase Lois Lane's lifespan…"
Kal held up a hand to stop him. "Thank you Kelex." Then he turned towards me. "I'd probably do the same thing for Lois."
"I know. I hope you never have to go through that. The only reason this is even possible is because Lena was already dead." Saying it outloud again brought the weight down on my shoulders. I looked up at him, and what was left of my composure broke completely. "I'm desecrating her body. I'm doing this without her knowledge or consent. What am I doing? Kal, what am I doing?"
He pulled me into a tight hug, and kissed the top of my head. "You're trying to save the woman you love, no matter the cost to you personally."
I began to cry into his chest, mumbling out my next refrain of guilt. "Is it selfish that I just want to see those mismatched eyes staring at me again? I want to hear her voice, and listen to her laugh and that beautiful heart."
"Well, I get it. Your feelings change things, a lot. If she comes out of this, and you two start something together. I would love to get to know her better." He pulled away as he spoke and gave me a smile, and I knew he had accepted her. If Lena forgave me, then she would be a part of our family. The magnitude of that acceptance wasn't lost on me despite the fact that I could barely keep a thought in my head.
"Thank you Kal. Hug Lois for me." I managed, giving him as warm a smile as I could muster.
He gave me a sad smile, and brushed my hair out of my face. Then pulled away and took a deep breath. "I will. Tell Lena, well, tell Lena that Lois and I would love to have you both over to dinner, when she's ready. You can say that Clark sends his regards."
My eyes widened, he was giving me permission to reveal his secret to Lena. "Wow, are you sure?"
He nodded with his trademark confidant smile. "I'm sure, if you are entrusting her with your heart, then I can trust her with my secret." Then he began to turn away.
"I'll see you soon Kal." I said waving goodbye.
"I love you cousin." He said as he took to the air, hovering for a second.
"I love you too." Then he was gone, and I was alone again. I turned back towards the robot who was watching me intently. "Kelex, alert me if there is any progress. I need to lay down for a while."
"I will, Kara Zor-El" The robot had such a kind voice now, and I thought I could detect a note of sympathy in his tone. I trudged over to my area of the Fortress, a large private room that I had barely used since arriving on Earth. Kal had designated it for me as soon as I arrived. Happy to have family again.
I hadn't spent as much time with my cousin as I would've liked, but we made do with the short visits we could steal away from the world. Usually at our favorite diner that serves a different pie every day. I didn't think I could sleep, but I must've been emotionally exhausted because the next thing I knew I was waking up to the sound of Kelex's voice calling for me.
"Kara!" Kelex was shouting, and I sped out into the main part of the Fortress. The crystalline pod was now glowing yellow and laying on the altar.
"Kelex? Did something go wrong?" I said with panic and worry.
"No, the process is finished. I have initiated the re-energization of her cells and now it is just a waiting game. The pod will disintegrate soon." I nodded and crossed my arms, waiting for something to happen. After about twenty minutes the pod began to literally melt away. Inside Lena was in a Kryptonian jumpsuit, all white and shimmering under the Fortress lights.
"Kelex, did you create a new house sigil?" I asked, looking at the beautiful black symbol emblazoned across Lena's chest. It was primarily a spiral, inverted in on itself ending in the center as an infinity symbol; the internal edges formed what looked like the ends of feathers. It was something I had never seen during my studies of the major and minor Kryptonian houses.
"She is not of the house of El, and no other house can claim her. A new symbol made sense. This symbol was created by her mind as she was revitalized." His explanation went over my head, but I wasn't about to argue against Lena having a house of her own. It might help her distance herself from the legacy of the Luthor's.
"What does the symbol mean, and does the house have a name?"
"The symbol means Elukatiium." He said, and I furrowed my brow. It was a new word, combined from at least a few others.
"If I heard that right, it loosely means Hope from Outside." I guessed, and Kelex shook his head.
"Not exactly, you are missing the middle root which means love. I don't know if there is a translation in an Earth language, and it has several possible meanings. But at its heart it means love, hope, and outsider. Combined with the theme of eternity in the imagery it portends that she will be of great importance to the future of Krypton. As for the house name, I have several ideas." He was looking at her now, and in his voice there was almost a note of reverence.
I nodded at first, and then shook my head at him. "While interesting and very cryptic, we need to give Lena the chance to decide the name of her house."
Kelex hovered around Lena's head scanning her. "That is a good idea, I will hold off entering it into the Birthing Matrix registry until she has chosen. Her brain scans are showing activity, the procedure worked."
I felt a deep wave of relief, and let out a deep sigh. "I guess now we just wait."
"Yes, she should wake up soon. Please be aware there is a statistical chance she will not be the same person who entered the pod." He said the news with an appropriate level of sympathy, and I looked at him suddenly worried again.
"How big of a chance?" I whispered.
"Twenty percent." He said simply, and I felt like my heart was breaking again. Had I brought back someone else? Would she even be the woman I loved?
"I wish you had told me." I almost yelled, but managed to keep my voice even. I couldn't keep the anger out of my tone though, and Kelex lowered his head in apparent shame.
He sounded deeply sorrowful as he spoke. "I'm sorry, Kara, I thought it was implied. Would you have made a different decision?"
The question caught me off guard, and as I thought about it I shook my head. "No. I guess not. She'll be Lena, she has to be Lena." I said feeling desperate again, sinking down to the floor. Staring at Lena's perfectly serene face, wondering what was going on in her mind.
