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Chapter Fifty-four
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Firsts
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Having taken Friday off with Chief Superintendent Stewart's blessing, Nathan drove Allie to school and brought his father to Depot for a tour.
Ruth remained at home with Carol to save her strength for getting around the Collins home and the Cottage as well as for moving about preparing meals. Once Ruth wrote a shopping list, the Cooks departed to get some extra ingredients for the Grants, leaving the house quiet and the opportunity to converse privately.
Both women had looked forward to getting to know one another and as they compared lives that appeared vastly different, they found many common experiences of faith, forgiveness, love and perseverance. When Ruth asked if Carol knew the Grant family history, Carol acknowledged she did, but reassured Ruth that all of that only made her appreciate all the Grants even more. Carol openly admired Ruth for her faithful and forgiving love of Archer. When Carol admitted her admiration and love for Nathan and Allie, she also shared how much it meant to her that they included Peter and her in their family.
Sharing what she never could with the wives of other Mounties, Carol opened her heart to Ruth and revealed the pain of her miscarriages and the deep sorrow that she had no children. "It has been so difficult at times to rejoice with those who rejoice when they are expecting and then caressing little ones in their arms, or at my age now, embracing grandchildren. I hope you don't mind that your wonderful son and granddaughter have filled some of that void for me? I know they are yours, Ruth, but sometimes I feel a fierce love for them."
"Oh, Carol…" Ruth reached out her hand to hold Carol's. "I am glad that you are here for Nathan and Allie. They have gone through some heartache over the past few years and seeing how settled and happy they are now does my heart good. I believe that you and Peter are a part of that healing, by presence and by prayer." She continued thoughtfully. "God has had different sorrows for each of us to bear, but he allows others to come alongside and He himself shares those burdens also, right?"
Wiping tears with her apron, Carol nodded and confessed. "A while ago I came to understand that God has allowed me to remain childless for his purposes. What he has had to do in my life to mature me, to grow me to make me who I am, he has had to do as a childless woman. Do you understand? In the end, he taught me how to be generous and thoughtful and encouraging and to open our home... Maybe the Lord couldn't do that in any other way? I mean with me? He has different paths for each of us…"
"I have found the Lord to be faithful." Ruth quoted a favorite passage. "As the verse says, 'This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him." (*)
Smiling, Carol continued the verses. "The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD." (*23)
As she squeezed Ruth's hand Carol admitted. "I wish you loved closer, Ruth."
"I do too, but knowing how the Mounties move their men around so much, I never knew where Nathan would settle. Plus Archie is thriving in his manager position. I wouldn't want to take that away from him."
"That is partly why Peter and I are still here in Regina. You know that RCMP Headquarters relocated to Ottawa this year? Peter's opinion was over-ridden when the decision was made, but he arranged for a small crew to remain here at the Regina Headquarters until he was certain all the issues best handled here were resolved. He handles things in Ottawa by telephone and courier when needed, but our days here may be numbered." Carol gripped her damp apron with one hand, even as she kept Ruth's hand in hers. "I was so happy to return and settle here when Peter became the Commissioner. You see I was raised in this area, and although the town grew immensely while I was moving all over Canada with Peter, it is still home."
"Was this house your home?"
"This?" Carol laughed. "Oh, no. This house was a parting gift from a cousin who was successful in the fur trade, then the railroad and other endeavors. He never married, but I was his favorite cousin so when he became ill, he gave it to me. When Peter and I moved here, I thought I was settled for life. Peter had risen in the ranks and was now the Commissioner and we had this house with full intentions of filling it with laughter and love." With a resigned smile, Ruth continued. "We've enjoyed plenty of laughter and love, just not in the way we expected. And now, the future is uncertain."
As Carol and Ruth shared, they forged a deep connection. At this moment they were not aware, but their friendship was one for a lifetime and between times together in-person, they corresponded regularly, becoming a support neither knew they were missing.
At Depot, Archie stood in awe and with a measure of trepidation. It was a large campus and there were Mounties in red serge everywhere he looked. Had he not been with Nathan, Archie was sure he would have taken one look, turned and fled! As it was, he was nervous, however he wanted to see where his son worked, and where his other son attended the Academy. Archie Grant was adjusting to the fact that he, a former prisoner, had two sons who were Mounties, but he knew he needed to do this.
Nathan took him to see his office first, meeting his officemate, Dr. Wesley Murphy. Archie pointed to Nathan's desk chair. "May I?"
Motioning for his father to take a seat, Nathan laughed. "That's exactly what Allie did! First thing, she wanted to sit in my chair."
"That's because it gives us an idea of what you see!" Archie leaned to look out the window. "Nice view too, Son. Does it help when you long to be outdoors?"
Nathan took the seat in front of his desk and turned it to include Wes in the conversation. "Well, except when working on the writing projects, I have great freedom to walk outside between classes, the stable, the mess and Headquarters. Maybe I will be especially appreciative when the snow falls though! Is that true, Wes?"
"For sure! Nothing like being inside and looking out on the cold, although some instructors have to brave the elements more frequently than we do." Wes stood, preparing to depart the office. He inclined his head towards the window. "Drill practice is beginning. You may want to watch. Mr. Grant, I am pleased to have met you, but I regret I am expected in a meeting now. Do enjoy your visit with your wonderful family?"
"Thank you. Good to meet you too, Doctor."
Waving to Wes, Nathan turned to his father. "Dad, would you like to go out to Parade Square to observe the drills or watch from here?"
"Here is fine, Son. All that red serge is rather intimidating…"
Nathan chuckled. "I guess it can be!"
"Might he be out there?" Archie's voice was low as he peered through the glass.
"Zach, you mean? Could be. I don't know which Troop is drilling right now." Nathan watched his father intently. "Dad, are you nervous to be seen or to see Zach?"
Archie cleared his throat before admitting, "Both…"
Nathan reassured his father. "I think Zach will be as nervous as you are, Dad. The plan is to meet him tomorrow in the parking lot. Would you prefer to meet him at the Cottage, or I could arrange your first meeting here in my office?"
Contemplating the options, Archie decided. "Would it be possible to meet him here in your office? Just the three of us, before we go home to be with your mom and Allie?"
"I could arrange that. Allie won't be home tomorrow morning though. She's shopping with our friends, so she won't be around until mid-afternoon."
"No, I mean this afternoon. Could Zach meet us up here?"
"Oh. I can get a note to him, although I will have to meet him at his barracks. As a Cadet, he's never been in the offices. Shall I arrange that? We can ask the Chief to find out his schedule."
"Yes, please? If possible?" Archie searched Nathan's face. "That might make tomorrow easier."
"Would you be willing to come with me to meet the Chief now? I'll ask about Zach's schedule, then I will show you the stables and take you to see Peter in his office."
"Really? I would be honored, although probably nervous to meet these men when in uniform."
"You are with me, Dad. I'm proud to introduce my father."
Archie stared at his son. "You are?"
"I am, Dad. You are one of God's own, following Him now and I am proud of that!"
"Thank you for the tour, Nathan, and it was nice to know how highly regarded you are amongst your superiors." Archie stared out the window as he loosened his tie. Nathan was driving him around Regina on the way home for lunch. "You know, there are many times that I am amazed at how wonderfully you turned out in spite of my lack of fathering. God has done great things in you, Nathan."
"Well, I can agree that God has worked in me, but I have to amend your statement. He has done great things in both of us, Dad. He is making us to be men who trust God."
Archie only commented. "Hmmm…"
After enjoying a simple lunch of chicken sandwiches and hot soup, Nathan served his parents what was left of Allie's chocolate pie along with cups of coffee. They had enjoyed conversing about life here in Regina as well as filling-in Nathan about Archie's job and his promotion.
Archie was really enjoying his position, managing in the clothing store, and the appreciation his supervisor gave him was encouraging Archie's self-confidence. Archie explained, "It feels good to do something worthy of appreciation!"
"I'm happy for you, Dad. Are your suits recent purchases from the store? You look quite dapper!"
Chuckling, Archie nodded his head and looked down at his waistcoat, smoothing it with his hands. "Yes. Can you believe it? I get to dress nicely and get a discount as well!" He grinned at his wife. "Your mom approves."
"I bet! Any new clothes for you, Mom?"
"Well, this outfit isn't new, but you will see one tomorrow and if we attend church on Sunday." Ruth smiled. "I didn't know what to expect meeting the Commissioner and his wife, so brought my best." Thoughtfully she added, "I didn't expect to meet someone so down-to-earth and without airs! Have they always been like this?"
"Peter and Carol are genuine and approachable. No pride or society snubbing. I have danced with Carol for years when attending Mountie functions and we have become friends. Often Peter is required to interact with the top brass, so years ago he asked me to watch out for his wife. You know me in party settings, so you know that was a happy task for me. I avoided many flirty society girls and their mothers!"
"I can imagine." After her conversation with Ruth earlier in the day, Ruth scrutinized her son. "Now, how are you, dear? How is your heart?" Ruth's voice was soft and concerned, knowing some of Nathan's trials in recent years.
"Yes. How is that teacher that I met?" Archie added. "Mrs. Thornton?"
Clearing his throat, Nathan leaned forward. "I am forgiving frequently and my heart must be healing because there is far less pain than when I was in Hope Valley. Of course it helps that I don't have to see her now. I've been informed that Elizabeth is no longer courting the Saloon owner so I am grateful for that…" Nathan's voice trailed off as he pondered how much to say. His decision was that this was his opportunity to tell his parents and request their prayers.
"Actually, I haven't told you all that happened the day Allie and I departed. Let's get comfortable in the front room and I'll share so you can pray." While Archie assisted Ruth to a comfortable arm chair, Nathan quickly rinsed the dishes and left them in the sink for later.
Taking a seat on the sofa across from his parents, Nathan explained Elizabeth's breakdown, counseling and what he knew of her recovery. "I left behind a note, wishing her well and she sent a response with Bill in which she acknowledged her need to face her fears. She also agreed it was the right time for Allie and me to depart. Because we were gone, she was then forced to face who she had become and who she had hurt. Elizabeth confessed her sorrow for hurting me and Allie, promising to write again with more details. She said she misses us, is praying for us daily and..."
When Nathan paused his mother interjected. "How do you feel though, Nathan? Do you still miss her? Are you still hoping for a future with her?"
Nathan gave a half-smile at his mother's forthright questions. He looked out the window before responding. "I still have feelings for her. I don't think that will ever change, but a future? I moved here to separate myself from her and to protect Allie. I can't really allow myself to count on that as a possibility." Nathan's eyes glistened. "On the other hand, I dream and pray for that very possibility." Again, Nathan paused before quietly continuing. "Elizabeth would have to change dramatically though and return to the winsome woman she was when we first met… Only God could make that change…"
"Son, it sounds as though there is a measure of hope. Your mother and I can pray for her healing and for God to change her, according to His will. For you though? How can we pray?"
Nathan swallowed hard. "Pray that I am able to continue to guard my heart and protect Allie."
"Okay for the first part, Nathan. But you cannot fully protect Allie you know." Archie hesitated before continuing. "As much as I am sorrowful for all I put your mother and you through with my behavior as you grew up, Nathan, I can see how God used that to form your character. That doesn't excuse me and I know God could have used other ways to accomplish the growth and quality of your character if I had conquered those demons sooner. Nevertheless, God did use those trials and you learned to forgive and didn't harden your heart." Archie leaned his arms on his knees, opening his hands in front of himself. "Allie will learn this too, Nathan. You can't protect her from every hurt or difficulty, so please don't hold back from experiencing your own love and joy while fearing for Allie."
"Dad's right, Nathan. Allie has you to guide her and, from what you both shared last evening, Allie has a wonderful support system in place now. Carol, her teachers, her friends, the Youth Group leaders… If Elizabeth truly repents and opens her heart to love you, Nathan, Allie will come along if she observes Elizabeth and you." Ruth smiled. "Thank you for confiding in us, Son. Dad and I now know better how to pray."
Nathan's voice was thick with emotion as he absorbed the wise counsel of his parents. He whispered, "Thank you. Both."
"Shall we pray now? I'm sure we can all use a few moments of prayer as we face this weekend too." Ruth suggested. "Your father and I have been praying together a lot in recent months, and now…"
Archie stood and moved his chair closer to hold Ruth's hand, reaching out his hand to Nathan. "Join us, Nathan?"
In amazement, Nathan stood, pulled the ottoman in front of his parents and sat to take each of their hands in his own. They were all quiet for a few moments.
"Dear Heavenly Father," Archie began softly. "Thank you for my wonderful family. Thank you for restoring my relationship with Ruth and for her loving and forgiving heart. Thank you for your forgiveness too, Lord. And…"
Archie swallowed before he could continue. "…And thank you for our Son, dear Nathan. I am so grateful for him and I so admire the man he is. Thank you for Ruth's faithful parenting when I was not on the scene. Thank you for protecting and keeping Nathan and growing him in his faith to trust You. Thank you for his willingness to raise sweet Allie and that he has been such a wonderful father to her. Allie is such a joy and blessing and I know that much of that is due to Nathan."
Squeezing Nathan's hand, Archie prayed. "Today though, I pray with Nathan what his mother and I have often prayed together at home. Lord, please give Nathan someone who will love and appreciate him with her whole heart. Someone who admires, respects and adores him. He is so deserving of that love and happiness. If Elizabeth is the one for him, then we trust you to work in her life to heal and change her and open her eyes to the treasure that is Nathan…"
Unable to hold it in any more, Nathan released a small sob. Never had his father prayed like this, nor even prayed for him aloud. This was how Nathan frequently blessed his Allie, but this now? From his father? Nathan had never allowed himself to admit the lack… or the longing. Healing, love and tenderness, encouragement and strength swept over him and through him. After all these years, Nathan was truly being fathered by his father.
Archie released Nathan's hand and moved to sit next to him on the ottoman. He placed one hand on top of Nathan's head and the other around his shoulders, drawing him to himself as he spoke in a strong voice. "Nathan, my dear son, I bless you in the name of the Lord."
Nathan collapsed against his Dad, letting gentle tears spill over as he let go of his mother's hand and wrapped his arms around his father.
Archie was weeping and quietly repeating, "My boy. My dear boy. My son..."
Ruth held her handkerchief covering her face as she wept quietly. She knew the sacredness of this most holy moment between the Lord, her husband and her son and her tears were those of rejoicing and grateful worship. God had met them here, in this place, in this moment and it was beautiful. Just as the ancient Hebrew patriarchs had done for their sons, Archer Grant had pronounced a blessing over Nathan.
When they stilled, Ruth prayed from her heart. "Dear Lord, I am so grateful. Words aren't enough, but You know our hearts. Thank you for my dear husband and my dear son, for Allie and now for Zachary. Bless that young man and guide us all as he becomes a part of our family."
"Right now I lift Archie to you. Still his nervousness and give him Your peace. Guide his words and actions as he meets his younger son and gets to know him. May Archie be a blessing to that dear boy to whom all of this is so new. Help them to bond as father and son, loving and accepting each other. Guide all of our interactions this weekend and may we see the good that You bring out of suffering and trials. I praise Your name. Amen."
By now, Nathan had straightened and recovered his voice, so he added to his mother's prayer. "Oh, Lord! You are doing marvelous things and filling us with joy. Thank you. I agree with Mom's prayer that you keep Your hand on Dad throughout this weekend. Speak through him to Zachary and may they both recognize Your hand in their lives, bringing them together at just his time. Prepare both of them to meet and get to know each other in a special way. Restore the missing years and allow them to be a blessing to each other, and by the end of this weekend may they have formed a good foundation for their future as father and son. We commit our lives, our family and this weekend into Your hands. In Your Holy Name we pray, Amen."
Opening their eyes, Archie and Nathan looked shyly at each other, but soon broke into warm smiles. Each stood at the same time and hugged. Then they held out a hand to Ruth to help her stand and share in a family embrace. Slow laughter bubbled up as they separated.
"I'll be back in a couple minutes and get the kitchen cleaned up." Nathan excused himself. "Then I can help with dinner preparations."
While alone, Ruth wrapped Archie in her arms and whispered. "Thank you, Honey. That was a beautiful thing to do and you may never know how much that meant to Nathan or to me. Thank you…"
Returning his wife's embrace, Archie whispered back. "I don't know what came over me. It just happened…but it felt right."
"It was God moving in our midst, Archie, and it was the right thing to do."
"I love you, Ruth. Thank you for forgiving me and loving me and being by my side through all of this. I couldn't do it alone."
"You don't have to, Honey. I am here and God is with us. We are facing life together!" Ruth reached her hand to cup Archie's cheek as he leaned down to kiss her tenderly.
"I never dreamed I could be this happy…" Confessed Archie. "And I actually feel ready to meet Zachary now."
(*23) Lamentations 3: 21-24, and verses 25-26, King James Version, Public Domain
