Author's Note of Acknowledgment: My gratitude to Eoin, our expert on all things Mountie! I wrote from my imagination and he kindly agreed to read and correct. If anything seems authentic, I have him to thank. For example, I would never have guessed that a struggling Cadet would be instructed to drop to his knees to wait for assistance. Originally I thought they could raise their hand, but that would be less visible and certainly not helpful if the man felt faint or weak. It makes sense now, doesn't it? So, thank you to Eoin for his help on this chapter and in many details on others! Also, please note that interspersed with all the Mountie protocol are details that allow us to know Nathan Grant more! Enjoy and thank you for reading. Eilie

. .

Chapter Sixty-one

.

Practice and Possibilities

.

A sigh of relief swept across Depot on Wednesday morning when Mounties and Cadets awakened to the sun immerging from the clouds. Yesterday's downpours had felt like the heavens emptying buckets of rain all at once and all in one place, so the risen sun sparkling the wet grass and trees was a welcome sight. Practicing funeral routines would be difficult enough without having to slog through mud and puddles. The added advantage was the dampness slowly burning off with the warming sun. The other scenario of practicing in snow was equally unappealing, so many silent prayers of thanks were raised that morning in Parade Square, including from Staff Sergeant Major Nathan Grant.

Astride Newton, Nathan was grateful that Tim had sent a message for him to pick-up his fur cap as the other mounted instructors had all recommended they wear them for this training and rehearsal. November temperatures could be brisk, so without worrying about how cold they were, the instructors could be more attentive to the job at hand. Nathan had also dressed with extra socks, and a pair of woolen gloves hidden inside his regulation leather gloves. In Hope Valley there was always some house into which he had been invited to warm up with a cup of coffee, but today the men would be out for hours as they drilled. Nathan headed Newton to join Drill Sergeant Maxon, Commissioner Collins, Chief Superintendent Stewart, Nathan's officemate, Wes, the Chaplain and a few other Mounties called into service for this exercise. After conferring while the Cadets exited their barracks and marched into formation in the Square, Sergeant Maxon barked orders for Troops 7, 8 and 9 to move into their positions. A few Mountie instructors moved freely among them assisting with the formation.

Once settled, the Sergeant ordered the Cadets to stand at attention and gave the Bugler the order to play as the Senior Mounties formed a line and marched to the front edge of Parade Square facing the Cadets. A row of chairs was positioned to their right. Along with the newest Cadets, Troop 11, that stood at attention along the side border of the Square, a few hardy spectators stood on the sidelines, quietly shuffling their feet and rubbing their hands. One particular man in a businessman's brown fedora had his eyes and ears on Nathan Grant and no other, but Nathan was unaware and focused on the task at hand.

Sergeant Maxon directed the Regiment to stand at ease, then ordered each individual Troop to stand at ease and listen carefully. He then introduced Staff Sergeant Major Nathan Grant and all eyes turned to see Nathan move Newton into the front and center position facing the Troops. Nathan made a commanding sight as Newton was a large, tall, majestic and well-trained horse who obeyed the slightest nudge or tug from his Mountie partner. Nathan searched the faces of the Cadets before him, surprised he could find his brother amongst all the men in uniform before him. He gave a slight nod then sent an arrow prayer to the Lord that Zach would do well throughout this exercise. He cleared his throat.

"Good morning, Commissioner, Chief Superintendent, Royal Canadian Mounted Police Officers and Instructors, and Cadets." For a soft-spoken man, Nathan Grant had a powerful voice that projected over the Square for all in the formation to hear.

"Troops 7, 8 and 9, Drill Sergeant Maxon has requested that I introduce the funeral drill today and explain what you can expect. As Nathan explained the sounds of the Bugler, Bagpipes and Drums, he shared that the Cadets would also experience a gun salute. "The music and sounds may stir emotions within you. Don't be surprised. After practicing the first few formations, we will run through a funeral procession in full."

"The first to enter the Square will be the Honor Guard shouldering their rifles. They are responsible for the twenty-one gun salute and they will be in position over there. As they enter you will be standing at attention." Nathan pointed. "The pipes and drums will then lead the procession, followed by a riderless horse with a pair of Strathconas positioned backwards in the stirrups. That horse will be followed by the gun carriage carrying a flag-draped casket and will be accompanied by the Mounties' Honor Guard marching alongside. You will follow in formation behind the casket, Troop 7 first, Troop 8 following and finally Troop 9, according to the instructions of the Drill Sergeant."

"Please note the people entering now are playing the part of the family in front of you. Once the procession is in place, you will observe the removal of the casket and the Pallbearers carrying it to the burial site. For today, the fabric draped pyre will represent the grave site." Nathan motioned to the pyre indicating where to expect these activities, then continued. "You will observe the Honor Guard remove and fold the Ensign, and the Commissioner presenting that flag along with the Stetson to the family."

"These Honor Guards are familiar with the drills so we are not expecting that precision from you today. What we are expecting is for you to listen, to watch and to feel the emotions of the day. Identify what may trigger an emotional response for you. The pipes or drumrolls? The casket? The solemnity? The gun salute? The flag or the grieving family?"

"Your Mountie Instructors are watching and available should you have need. By that I mean overcome with emotion, weak in the knees, feeling faint, etc. If you are struggling, you can help yourself, and them, if you kneel in place. They will come to escort you to the sidelines. No one will receive demerits for stepping out of formation to help another Cadet or to be helped. We expect some to break rank today. Remember this is a practice session."

To keep the Cadet's attention, Nathan moved Newton a short distance to the left and then crossed back to the right, watching as all eyes followed him. He then continued speaking.

"As harsh as this may seem, I request that you think of a loved one who has died, or think of a scene or accident you witnessed in the past. This is the day to face those memories and get help. Please note that Chaplain Morgan and Sergeant Doctor Murphy are both here in addition to your Instructors. All of us have first aid training and many of us have lost our brothers and served where we have participated in a RCMP funeral. We will assist you, so this is the safest place to let yourself feel the grief, the sorrow and the pain."

"As you are aware, we train diligently so we are prepared as best we can be, but death happens. It is a part of living. We are all human and have emotions. They are nothing to be ashamed of, but you need to learn how to control your emotions during critical moments, including these funeral marches and Mountie burials."

"Finally, please recognize that this will be a difficult exercise. Yet the better prepared you are to control your own emotions here, the better you are able to comfort, support and show compassion as you serve your community." The compassion in Nathan's voice was felt even as he projected his comments at this point. "Thank you for your willingness to serve, Gentlemen. You are to be admired. Now, I turn you over to Drill Sergeant Maxon." Nathan saluted and backed Newton away before turning him to join the Senior Mounties and his fellow instructors at the front of Parade Square.

Commissioner Collins quietly moved to stand beside Nathan. "Well done, Sergeant." They exchanged salutes before turning their attention to watch a Mountie bring forward a horse. He held the reins until the Drill Sergeant mounted and turned to face the Troops, giving his orders for the Troops to move backward, then space themselves further apart. "To begin our practice we will follow the pipe and drums and flag bearers coming round left, maintaining your troop formations. Make crisp, sharp turns, men."

Sergeant Maxon held up his baton and signaled the piper to begin a bass drone and, following their orders, the three Troops marched in formation around the Square to return to their starting positions. "Again!" Instructed Sergeant Maxon twice more. After the third time around, he let the men stand at ease as he instructed the next steps. "We will now run through the entire procession. You will follow the casket, but be aware of other formations as you will be learning each of those positions in the coming weeks. "Regiment, Troops, Honor Guard, Attention." The order rang clear in the morning air and the bagpipes and drumrolls began.

Nathan rode along the sidelines, keeping watch for any Cadet in need. As he saw one, he motioned to a member of the Regiment on the sidelines and pointed to the man on his knees. A couple Cadets struggled at different points of the procession and simulated burial ceremony and from his vantage point he could keep a keen eye on the Troops. He saw Zachary go to his knees as the casket was brought to the pyre and was not surprised as Zach had buried his mother so recently. While he himself couldn't attend to him, Nathan silently prayed for God to comfort and heal his brother's memories of that difficult time in his young life. Nathan knew his own struggle had come during the first funeral in which he participated after Colleen's death. He kept close watch on the Troops as they heard the gun salute knowing that was frequently the cause of a weak moment for the inexperienced or the traumatized. These three Troops fared well on that test, so he was pleased.

As the flag and Stetson were placed on a cushion and presented to the family, Nathan kept watch as he encircled the entire square. Eyes on the Troops, Nathan did not notice the fedora-wearing businessman dip his head to keep from being recognized. Although there was animosity in the stranger's face, it was mixed with a surprising amount of admiration for Nathan Grant, a man he now realized he had never gotten to know as he ought.

Having moved further from the sidelines, once Nathan departed, the observer absentmindedly watched the Troops march back to their barracks until he started. 'Wait! Was that Nathan? Didn't he just leave on horseback?' Before he could formulate another question in his mind, the lookalike Cadet had disappeared inside, leaving the businessman stumped and questioning his sanity.


Deciding to avoid lunch with his peers, Nathan instead chose to pick up a sandwich, cookies and coffee and return to his office. He didn't want accolades or compliments, nor was he desirous of criticism by fellow Instructors. The ones he wanted to hear from were Maxon, Wes, Tim and Peter. They would tell him the truth and give constructive suggestions for the future.

Seated at his desk, Nathan decided to use his lunch hour to call his friend, Brookfield's Constable Gabe Kinslow. Today had brought back many memories of their days training together here at Depot. They also had a history of working through injuries and traumas they had each shared. Fortunately, when one was weak, the other had been strong and they had seen each other through some trying times. It would be good to catch up.

"Gabriel Kinslow! Nathan here. How are you, my friend?"

"Nathan Grant! Sir! Finally I get a call from my risen-in-the-ranks-friend. I thought you had forgotten me!" Gabe chuckled, but was half serious.

"Me? Forgotten you? I had to hear from Bill Avery and Rosemary Coulter that you might be engaged! No time to give me a call either, eh?"

This time Gabe's laugh was one of embarrassment. "Well, I've been busy making plans. You heard right though, Nathan. Lillian said yes!"

Nathan could hear the joy through the telephone line and quickly offered, "Well, congratulations, Brother! It couldn't happen to a better chap. When is the wedding?"

"You are not going to believe this, Nathan. We're getting married at Christmas!" As Gabe listened to Nathan's quick breath, he questioned, "You wouldn't happen to be able to get the time off would you? To be my best man?"

"Oh Gabe… I am honored but, although I would love to, I am not able to come. I'm sorry. I've made commitments to sing and to be with family. That is partly why I am calling." Nathan took a sip of coffee. "Do you have some time to talk? And are you seated?"

"I can talk, yes. I'm in the process of sitting down. Is Allie alright and is everything okay with your parents?" Gabe questioned worriedly.

"Oh, everyone is well, yes. No worries. But we have had an unexpected family event! Gabe, I have a brother. A younger brother no one knew anything about!" Nathan knew by the silence, he had to let that news sink in before continuing.

"Nathan!" Gabe gasped. "Ahhh… Did you just say a younger brother?"

"I did…" Nathan explained how he and Zachary had discovered each other and how Zach was becoming a part of the Grant family. He shared about his parent's visit and how amazing it was that they already loved each other, attributing that to God at work. Concluding his retelling of the story, Nathan chuckled. "Are you okay? You are uncharacteristically quiet, my friend!"

"Ahh… for good reason, Nathan. This is almost unbelievable! Zachary, huh? And he is the spitting image of you?" Gabe laughed. "That is blessing the women of this world twice over!"

"Gabe! Come on…" Nathan laughed, embarrassed. "It is uncanny though. We haven't been seen together except by the family, oh and Bill came to visit and is now in touch with Adeline Foster. Do you recall that name? She was involved with some criminal activity some years back? She served her time and now works here at Headquarters! Anyway, they are the only ones to have seen us together. Oh, of course the Commissioner, Peter, and his wife, Carol, the Chief Superintendent and a couple fellow instructors!"

"Nathan! Peter? You are on a first-name basis with the Commissioner?"

"Yes, and his wife, and the Chief Operating Officer, Tim."

"Well, I know who to call if I need to contact someone influential. You really have found your place!" Gabe chuckled. "Regarding Zachary, it's kind of nice to be able to picture him. I don't recognize the woman's name, Foster. Is this being 'in touch' for Bill a romantic situation? I cannot picture that!"

"Oh, if you saw them together you could. I don't know if they are officially using the word courting, but it seems as though that is what is going on! Bill is smitten!" Nathan reported.

"Well that is something I have to see." Gabe responded. "Maybe I'll find a reason to visit Hope Valley and check on him. Bill deserves some teasing for all the teasing he has handed out in the past!"

"Bill is coming for Christmas, Gabe. When he last visited, his time was not entirely devoted to Allie and me, although we are why he came! Adeli may be away for Christmas so we may have him to ourselves! Do you and Lillian want to come to Regina for your Honeymoon?"

Gabe just sputtered a quick answer. "Uhh, I don't think so." Changing the subject, he questioned his friend. "So, are you in touch with many folks from Hope Valley?"

Nathan knew Gabe was fishing for information but realized there was so much to share. "Are you ready for another happening? I am full of stories right now!"

"Shoot. I have a cola and I have the time."

"You know we departed without everyone knowing? Well, after talking to Joseph that afternoon, I entered the school room to leave a note for Elizabeth and…" Nathan recounted Elizabeth's breakdown and what he had gleaned from Bill, Rosemary, Joseph and Faith regarding her recovery. "Gabe, Elizabeth wrote a letter of apology with the promise of another, more detailed, one. Also, she broke off the relationship with Lucas and I understand he has left town."

"Wow! There is a lot that has transpired in Hope Valley! How do you feel about all this? Is there any renewed hope or…?"

Once Nathan had bared his heart to Gabe, he inquired about wedding plans, the honeymoon and the future living arrangements. Gabe shared that the orphanage was actually empty right now and with new changes in the care of orphans, it might remain that way. Lillian was at a crossroads and was developing a sewing business during this time of indecision. With the possibility of freedom to relocate, Gabe confessed he was considering inquiring about relocating after they were married. There was a lot up in the air for both Gabe and personally for Nathan, so the friends promised to pray for each other and keep in touch more frequently. They had always maintained a relationship that could pick up where they left off even after long times of separation, but they always wanted to stay closer!


Since Maxon hadn't called or stopped in by mid-afternoon, Nathan made his way to Drill Sergeant George Maxon's office and knocked on the door. Entering at the Sergeant's invitation, George stood, saluted and welcomed Nathan to take a seat. "I planned to call you before now, Nathan. I apologize. What did you think of the exercise this morning?"

Nathan chuckled. "I came to ask you that question! I'm not sure I have the experience to have an opinion yet. Were you pleased? Did I address what you wanted and in the manner in which you wanted it addressed?"

George Maxon leaned back in his chair. "Here I am worried you weren't pleased and you are worried I am not pleased! I am, Nathan. I thought you did an excellent job, especially for your first time introducing the exercise. Your calm demeanor and clear explanation is what I wanted. That is not my style as you probably know by now. I have to maintain the image of severity until closer to graduation! You, on the other hand, can be more approachable. Strong and wise, but approachable. Exactly what I wanted."

"I am relieved to hear that. Did I neglect anything or, if you want me to do this again, is there anything you want me to include?"

"I do want you to introduce this exercise from now on, but just need to get the Chief to approve of my plan! I'll let you know, but as far as anything missing? I think you covered it all. If I do think of something I'll let you know, okay?"

"Sounds good. I am certainly surprised at how quickly I am fitting in here at Depot. I expected many men more experienced, and who are more established here would be handling these responsibilitie. Not me, a newcomer!"

"There are reasons you are being asked to do these things, Nathan. Take it as a compliment!"

"Thank you. I guess I will. Now, I have a question for you? My brother, Zachary, went to his knees this morning and I didn't speak to him afterward. Can you tell me if he is okay?"

"I checked with the Troop leaders earlier and everyone was handling it well. Only one Cadet fainted and Wes took care of him. I didn't find out anything specifically about your brother though." Maxon watched Nathan closely. "Is there a reason you are concerned?"

"Only that Zach's mother died just a year ago and I was not surprised that the casket being placed on the pyre was what brought him down. He's young and she was his only family until recently. I have no reason to believe that will affect his performance as a Mountie, just that this may have been the first time for the memories to come flooding back. If he expresses the desire to talk to me, could you allow him to use your telephone again, or get a note to me to meet him in the parking lot or something like that?"

"I would be glad to do that, Nathan. He has encountered a lot of life-altering things in recent weeks. Has he met your father yet?"

"As a matter of fact, Tim gave permission for Zachary to join us a couple times over the weekend and we had a wonderful, healing, even joyful visit with Zach and my parents, well our father and my mother. God is reconciling us all and making us a family. Zach has support now!"

"I am glad to hear that. I don't need details, Nathan, but it appears you are a blessing to him and you are sensing the connection to him as your younger brother. Enjoy that."


On Thursday morning, Wes and Chaplain Thomas Morgan were talking in the office when Nathan entered. "Oh! Excuse me. I can go get coffee and give you some privacy."

"No need, Nathan. Thom was actually here to see you!" Wes stood. "May I get you two some coffee?"

"Yes, thanks, Wes. Good morning, Chaplain." Nathan extended his hand.

As the Chaplain shook his hand, he requested Nathan use his given name. "Or, if with Cadets, you may just call me Chaplain. That works!"

"Sounds good, Thom." Nathan motioned for the Chaplain to take his seat again and Nathan sat behind his desk. "How may I help you?"

"I am here with a request for you to consider, Nathan. First, I heard about your two books from Tim and have read the devotional through without waiting for the specific dates! I am now rereading it each morning and, indeed, "Ponderings" is an appropriate title. I am pondering your thought-provoking insights throughout the day. I have begun your poetry volume, but confess I am taking more time with that and reading a poem or two each day. I feel my plate is full of good food with just that! Thank you, Nathan, for sharing your heart."

"Ahhh… You are welcome, Thom."

"I also observed you during the exercise yesterday. Your calm demeanor, wise words and understanding reassured those present at an anxious time. Even those of us who have heard the instructions many times over sensed your sincerity and were reassured. As you may know, we all have memories of losing comrades and participating in difficult funerals, and we all have new triggers as we age. So, thank you for displaying compassion to all present. I spoke to Maxon and he intends to request approval for you to regularly introduce the funeral exercises. So, job well done, Nathan."

"Thank you, Sir." Nathan colored slightly and looked down at his hands on the desk. When he glanced up once again the Chaplain was observing him with a smile on his face.

"Again, subject to Tim's approval, this is my proposal…"

The doorknob rattled and Nathan hurried to open it as Wes backed into the office holding three mugs of coffee.

Wes glanced at Thom, inquiring, "Shall I make myself scarce?"

"No, no. I already mentioned this to you out on the field, Wes." Reassured the Chaplain. "Take your seat!"

Turning back to Nathan, Thom continued. "My proposal. Would he be willing to be on-call when I am unavailable?"

Shocked, Nathan, gulped his sip of coffee. "Excuse me?" Coughing, he recovered and continued. "Sir, I have no formal theological training, nor psychological or medical training. I hardly qualify!"

The Chaplain explained that some training is head knowledge only. "More important are lessons learned and Scriptural principles applied in real life. By your books and your demeanor you have walked the road of suffering and come out the other side, with proven character. I see that in you, Nathan." The Chaplain explained further. "When I am not available, we have a list of local pastors to call, but they are not right here at Depot. They also, discerning as they may be, are not Mounties therefore don't fully understand what we face. By the way, I went through Depot years ago and even served a small community for a few years before pursing my seminary training. Mounties need fellow Mounties to work though Mountie challenges."

"Can you tell me what your position entails and what scenarios I might be called upon to handle?"

Explaining how he comes alongside men who have received difficult news from home or about a fellow comrade or a challenging health report, Thom said, "If someone is injured, I get to them as soon as possible. I may be the one to contact their families and visit if they are in hospital. I have also been called upon to accompany the Mountie who has to deliver news of a Mountie's death to a family, plus comforted and supported the Mountie himself who is delivering that news. I doubt you would have to do any of this, due to your teaching responsibilities, but at least to have someone on campus, here at Depot, would be helpful. If you cannot answer a call, they would move to the next person on the list."

Nathan leaned back and steepled his hands below his chin, thinking, then questioning. "Sir, are you aware that I am a single father of a teenage girl? I am not really available for Mountie work outside of my hours here at the Academy. It was those boundaries that allowed me to accept this position. To have more family time with my daughter. I had years as a Constable when I was on-call days, nights and weekends."

"I am aware of that, Nathan. And, should you decline this request I understand…" He let his voice trail off knowing the cost of this suggestion.

"My first impression is to decline, Thom. Nevertheless, I will pray about this over the next couple of weeks and let you know. I want to seek the counsel of my former pastor and friend, before giving my final answer."

Chaplain Thom smiled. "That right there tells me you are the right man for the job. First, there is no interest in being recognized. Often men don't realize that pastoring is a step down to serve. Just like the Lord washed the disciples feet. Secondly, you are not willing to step out without prayerful consideration and counsel from others. I look forward to your answer, Nathan."

When the Chaplain rose to depart he shook Nathan's hand and gave a hat tip to Wes before exiting.

Nathan sat heavily in his chair, leaned his head over and ran his fingers through his hair.

"That's a lot, isn't it? I'm afraid everyone is seeing your potential and wanting a piece of you, Nathan." Wes sighed as he watched his friend. "No disrespect to the Chaplain, but he is asking a lot of you when you clearly explained Allie is your priority." He sat up and leaned his elbows on his desk. "You are not asking for my opinion, but I wonder if God isn't giving you opportunities to say 'No.'"

At that, Wes had Nathan's attention. "You mean testing me and my priorities?"

"God knows your heart of service, Nathan. He is not testing your willingness to sacrifice for others. Maybe he wants you to know your own limitations and that God will provide someone else if you decline an offer? As good as you would be at the job, I know how I am going to pray."

"Thanks, Wes. God's will be done is the best prayer, but at this moment, I tend to agree with you. It is too much."

"Look at your current commitments, Nathan. Examine what you are already involved in and what brings you joy and satisfaction knowing you are doing what God wants of you. Then see if there is room in your life to add anything else." As an afterthought, Wes added, "And take into account the possibility of finally dating and finding the woman God has for you. That takes dedicated time, you know." We smiled and winked. "And with that incredibly wise advice I have a meeting to get to!"

Smiling back, Nathan responded. "It is incredibly wise advice and I have a feeling will be right in line with that of my pastor friend too! Thanks, Wes. Enjoy your meeting!" Nathan scrunched his nose and made Wes laugh as he exited the office.