A/N: Thank You all for the wonderfull reveiws! Here are your letters people. Voldie has been busy with New Years which is why he took time to reply. But he's replied to them all now! Take a look! Letter credits at the end.


Chapter 6
Moldywart,
"Witch-at-heart"... can't you read between the lines? It means I'm a Muggle who wishes that I was a witch! I would be of no use to you! And, just to make you cry, you DO have as much, if not less, foresight than Sybil Trelawney! HA HA HA! Don't mess with me! Harry is better than you are, so give up! It's not worth the trouble! I still think suicide is the best way to go...

Patriot Girl


Dear P.G,

Muggle did you say? DARN! Never mind, you can be snake food for Nagini. She likes to eatmuggles. That's your punishment forcomparing me toSybil Trelawny. You made me cry! Just the memory is making me tear up...

CRAP NOW I'M CRYING AGAIN!

Voldie


Dear Voldemort,
As an anonymous fanfiction author I would like to know the best way to steal the basic story-line of Harry Potter for my own best selling novel series and not get caught (cough for once cough Ahem...) So I was thinking together we could be the greatest team there's ever been, Voldie, please Join me. We'll paraphrase our way to Fame!
Love,
No of course I've never read Harry Potter...(aka ..Smerrwazz! I shall get you back yet Voldie Woldie! XD!1!)
Smerry Cherry,

That's what i'll call you if you call me Voldie Woldie! And i'd love
to steal the HP storyline! I suspect that Miss Rowling is going to kill
me off anyway. Might as well get back at her while i still can.

Voldie Woldie

P.S: If you think you're gonna get back at me you're Dreeeeeeeaaaammming. Blu blu blu!


Dear Voldie,
Can I write a biography on you? That would be so great. Just come find me so we can do an interview! And take pictures for the cover. Yeah. So send me an owl with your answer!

signed,
some random person who wants to write a bio on you!


Dear Random Person,

I would be delighted to have a biography of myself! I'll send you some pictures for the cover if you PROMISE not to superimpose them on a playboy bunnys body! The last time that happened wormtail kept sending me flowers and trying to...oh never mind.

And incidently if you happen to be Miss Granger, KEEP THAT INFORMATION TO YOURSELF UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIE!

Voldie


Dear Voldie,
Wow, you think I'm smart? You must be the first person too do that, cause everyone thinks I'm dumb cause i got a D- in Science. Ah well.
I have thoroughlly considered your offer to join you and I will accept! Now I can get revenge at my Science teacher! Mwahahahaha!
Surf All Day And Do The Hula
P.S. my real name is Caitlin
Dear Caitlin,

Together we can misuse muggle artifacts, torture your science teacher, lock up all mean cheerleaders and...oh yeah...take over the world.

Voldie

PS: I think i'll name my child Caitlin. Oh wait. I dont have a child. Will you be my child?


Dear Voldie

I would like to recommend you to have Plastic Surgery, as your skin is most freakishly pale.

And your hairline sucks.

Also, I would like to add that pink is the new black, so you should obviously change your Death Eater robes.

From 73- L337 /4574


Dear 73...whatever,

Where did you hear that pink is the new black? Are you sure? According to last week's Death Eater Fashion Chronicle, black is in! I havent had a chance to read this week's fashion chronicle so maybe you're right! OMG! i'm freaking out! I cant be out of fashion! I shall order pink robes immediately.

Voldie


Dear Mr. Stupidity,
You overlook the power of love, which would've caused your fate. Mr. Voldie Stupidity, You're an idiot! I don't like candy canes and that wasn't even part of my poetry. here's my poetry:

First think of the thing,
That comes from the fire,
When we all know,
It's starting to tire.

Next tell me the name,
Of the air when it's strong,
It has Mystical music,
A tune, a song.

Next we will search,
For a sound hard to find,
And change the first word,
So it rhymes with lined.

Now put them together,
And answer my question,
Which household creature,
Is out of suggestion?

-Ze Demon poet
an employee of Florish and Blots

PS-solve that and I MIGHT shut up...


Dear Ze Demon poet,

This is Voldie's assistant. Voldie has been breaking his head trying to solve your RIDDLE (tee hee) but he's just not getting it. He even considered owling Hermione Grange since she's good at riddles! I keeppointing to the fireplacewhenever he's in the room but he's just too dumb to get anything!

Maybe if you keep him occupied like this, he'll forget about world domination and Harry Potter!

Voldie's Assistant


Dear Voldie,
I am the descendant of Professor Trelawney and I predict that you will soon die. Yes, unfortunately it will be a freak accident, one in which is the most stupidest way to die. When your servant Wormtail attempts to cut down a tree (for whatever reason) the tree will fall on you. A grizzly bear will be situated in this tree and will claw you to death as he lands on you. There, now that you know your death you have only 3 weeks left to plot Harry Potter's death.

Cassandra Trelawney Jr.


Dear Cassy,

Since you're related to Sybil, i didnt think you're prediction would come true. However this morning a grizzly bear almost mauled me to death. Then i took off it's mask and saw that it was Rudolphus Lestrange trying to do me in because he thought i was seeing his wife. Stupid man doesnt know i'm gay. So i guess your prediction was KINDA true, no?

Voldie


Dear Voldemort,
You have greatly upset all the children of the world, and we the Parents Against Evil Dictators Society (PAEDS)would like to inform you that we are not below sending three ghosts to visit you in the night, now please, please (we are down on our knees begging here, show some compassion man!) just give back christmas.
Sincerely,
Cindy Lou Whoo, Head Whoo of PAEDS
The Grinch, President of PAEDS
P.S. Just between you and me Voldie, (this is the grinch) stealing all the toys from the little children doesn't feel nearly as good as you, you yourself carving roast beast.
Dear PAEDS,

Well old grinchy has a point about the roast beast so i guess you stupid muggles can have your Christmas. And to Ciny Lou Whoo - You're a little boo. Happy Presidency girl!

Voldie

P.S: The three ghosts you sent me were awesome. We stayed up the whole night braiding each others hair and having pillow fights!


Dear Mr. Voldemort Stupidity Riddle,
I hope this annoys you. CRID IB FEDR DRACA CDIBET NABMEAC YMNAYTO! HU UHA FYHDC DU RAYN FRYD OUI CYO! DRAO ZICD FYHD DU EHCIMD OUI! I love insulting you in another langauge. I learned most of that langauge from 'Y Kieta du Ym Prat' by Merae Rayman, it was once a best seller at Florish and Blots. I can also say 'You're dead' which is 'Oui'na tayt' and 'obey me' which is 'upao sa'.

-the annoying author from florish and blots,
Ymela fymgan


Dear Annoying Author,

This is Voldie-chands assistant again. He's too busy crying to reply to your letter. You seem to
have "annoyed him so deeply that his eyes began to fill with tears". (his sad poetic words, not mine). Eh-hem. So. I suggest that you keep sending things like this to him. I like it when Voldie cries! He's like a noseless baby!

Voldie's Assistant


Dear Voldy

have you lost it? why the hell are you answering fan letters? you've given away the ending to book 7... oops! glances at fans you didnt hear that.

so cut it out NOW, or i'll make you wear pink robes in book 7!

signed

J.K.Rowling

PS: who d'you think i should kill in the next book: hermione or ginny?


Dear Miss Rowling,

They're not FAN letters! They're HATE letters. And besides, i'd like to wear pink robes in book 7. Pink is the new black...havent you heard?

Voldie

P.S: Kill Hermione off. Loads of fans will be devastated and they'll try to kill you too. Fun no?


Dear Lord Voldemort,
You have just been entered in a contest for all people and living things who are evil. If you come to the contest on the 3rd of April, you have the chance to takeover the world. If you lose you will recieve 2 pennies (2 pence in UK) and you will lose EVERYTHING including your life.
Society of Evil People Contests

P.S. You were entered by a bald and not to mentiion ugly man named named Wormtail and by another man named Rodolphus Lestrange who was just equally ugly


Dear S.O.E.P.C,

Hmmm...this is confusing. Should i sell my soul to the Devil or not? After all, Lucifer IS my thrid cousin...hmmm. I think i'll withdraw my application from the contest. I can take over the world on my own. And also, this will give me a chance to punish Lestrange and Wormtail. YIPPEE!

Voldie


To Voldie,

Forwarded message:

Voldemort is a nerd

only nerds can make a horcrux!

how did he find out about how to make a horcrux anyway?

if he looked through more than 1 book to find how then he is more of a nerd than Hermione

haha

tell him that I'm not scared of him!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

heehee

Britta girl


Britta Girl,

You may not be scared of me but i'm scared of you! That letter was scary! Dont you know that so many HAHA's freak me out? And F.Y.I i am a nerd. I got my whole world domination idea from watching Pinky and The Brain cartoons!

Voldie


Dear Voldie,

I've been in love with you for a long time. Where do you live so I can come to you, my darling?

Love Interest


Dear Love Interest,

I am very touched that someone loves me "sniffle" However, I am not stupid enough to let on where I live, particularly to you, Miss Granger. I know you're just trying to get Viktor back!

Sorry, but I'm still in love with Krum i don't want to share. Sucks to be you! MWAHAHA

Voldie


Letter Credits:

1- PatriotGirl
2- Silverphoenix2
3 - EmmaHermione1Fan
4 - Surf all day and do the hula
5 - .Aurorablu
6 - Alice dra Tasuh Buad
7 - pierrezgurl
8 - silverphoenix2
9 - Alice dra Tasuh Buad
10 - Moon Wolf
11 - Kanna
12 - brittagirl
13 + Reply - SongOfStars