A/N: Yes i know! But i've been busy, okay? Anyway, here it is you wonderful people! These are some more of your letters. There were so many letters! So i split this into two parts. If your letter doesnt appear here, it will in the next chapter.

Disclaimer: The very excellent website mentioned below owns the wall of shame quote.


Chapter 7
Hey Voldie!

i'm so excited! im really looking forward to torturing my teacher... evil bitch... misusing muggle artifacts is fun, my fave thing to do is putting metal objects in microwaves so they blow up... my school doesnt have cheerleaders to lock up, but it does have traitorous-ex-best friends who would do the job nicely.

well gotta go.

Caitlin

ps. would you really adopt me? please ive got to get out of here!


Dear Caitlin,

I have just illegally adopted you. Your mother must be so proud!
I'm happy to hear that you misuse muggle articfacts. YAY! Good girl!

Voldie


Dear Voldmort

Could you please send me my toad back? I miss him.

I don't think Harry gives a crap if my toad is killed so there is no use of using Trevor as leverage. PLEASE!

Sincerely

Neville Longbottom

P.S. if you REALLY want leverage maybe you should try somebody else. JUST GIVE ME MY TREVOR WEVOR BACK!

I MISS MY TOADY WOADY!


Dear Longbottom,

I know Trevor does hold much value for Harry Potter but it was the only thing stupid enough to let me kidnap it. I tried to kidnap Mr Weasley and Miss Granger but they made me cry.

Voldie


Dear Dark Lord,

I wish to join you! My sister thinks Mum would find out and kill me, but I'm good at hiding stuff. I hope you don't mind that I'm only in my third year at Hogwarts, but thirteen is old enough to want to hurt innoccent muggles, no?

Hope you consider it,

Jess


Dear Jess,

Consider it? HOP ON BOARD, GIRL!

Voldie


Dear Voldie,

My sister is fascinated with the dark arts and I keep telling her that torturing innocent muggles isn't a good thing for thirteen-year-olds to be doing. I am seventeen, and I still don't wanna join you. Not only that, but My mum hates the dark arts and she'd kill her own family if they were associated with them. she killed Dad for this reason, and I don't want to see this happen to my little sister.

Please say no without considering her offer,

Esarie Shawna Blue


Dear Miss Blue

I already said yes to her. And why don't you wanna join me? I'm hurt! I'm a fun guy and I don't see why you don't want to be friends with me. Seriously, killing is fun. Ask your mother, she'll tell you so!

Voldie


Deae Me. Ton Msrvplp Riddlr,

U Sm s rweeoble tuper, and ir is dark. bot onlt thar, bur I an a ghosr. I an Esaeiw's Das, ans I wanr you to makr my duaghtwr a deatg eatew/ bofh ob thek/

I;s wrire morw, bud I's a ghosy,

Damirl Bkir


Dear Damirl,

To quote the wall of shame of a very excellent fansite – 'lather, rinse, repeat.' Got it.

Voldie


Dear Bald Vold,

I am a hair stylist in Las Vegas, and I wonder if you would want hair replacements. After that, I would style your new hair, and all I would want is 500 United States muggle dollars, good deal, no?

Sincerely,

the hair stylist


Dear Stylist,

I read in this weeks Death Eater Chronicle that hair is extremely out of fashion! I'll call you when hair IS in fashion and then we can negotiate. K? Cool.

Voldie


Dear Lord Voldemort,

We, the society for tasteful robes, cannot fill your order for thirty sets of pink robes, as pink is in and we're out of pink robes. We have replaced the order with thirty sets of black robes.

Sincerely,

the society for tasteful robes!


Dear Society for tasteful robes,

I have just one thing to say to you:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Voldie


Dear Lord Voldemort,

We are sorry last week's 'death eater fashion chronical' didn't come in, we'll renew your subscirption right away. We will also send you a hundred galleon gift certificate for 'the imporium of black robes'.

Sincerely,

Maryanne Healer

Florish and Blots


Dear whoever,

Tell me something – WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO MAKE ME CRY? I don't WANT black robes. Give me PINK. PINK PINK PINK! Havent you heard that:

Pink – It's my new obsession
Pink - It's not even a question
Pink – is the colour of passion
And today, it just goes with the fashion!

Voldie


Dear Mr. Stupidity,

I bought the last thirty sets of pink robes. Good luck finding some pink robes, because I bought out every store in the world!

Sincerely,

a person who doesn't think a death eaters deserves to be in fashion


Dear person,

At first I was angry. Then I was sad (bawled like a baby, FYI). But now I'm thinking that you would make a GREAT death eater. Care to join me? I'll give you a free minion!

Voldie


Letter Credits:
1 - Caitlin (surf all day and do the hulla)
2 - Jennifer
3,4,5,6,7,8,9 - Alice dra Tasuh Buad