Hi everyone! I'm finally back with the next chapter for you all. I'm sorry for the delay again, though I did manage to get this chapter done a little quicker than the last few, so I'd say we're moving in the right direction.

I'm eager for you all to read this one, it's definitely a little bit of a shift from the last few chapters, and you'll get to see how Matt and Gabby have handled being apart, but I hope you all still enjoy it, and I can't wait to hear what you think. Also, there is a time jump in this chapter from where the last one ended, just so you all know!

Thank you so much for reading, stay safe everyone xx


part thirteen


"Hey Gabby."

Dawson continued moving around the tent, the woman too caught up in her own head to hear the voice of the man trying to gain her attention, his eyes following her as she walked around quickly. He couldn't quite tell what she was even trying to do, his eyebrows furrowing as she appeared to just be moving aimlessly, Dawson picking up random things and moving them back and forth between the two tables as she spoke underneath her breath to herself.

"Gabby…" He tried again, but she still hadn't heard him, the man watching as she adjusted her ponytail, sweat mixed with dirt dripping down her skin as the intense heat was even more overwhelming inside the tent.

"Where is it…" She murmured to herself quietly, Gabby bringing her hand up to press against her head as she felt her already pounding headache become more and more painful.

"Sis!"

Antonio's loud voice snapped her out of her trance, Gabby jumping slightly before she looked up to find her brother standing just inside the makeshift door. Placing her hand over her chest, she took a deep breath, Gabby shaking her head before putting the folder in her other hand down on the table.

"Jesus Tonio, you scared me." She huffed out, Antonio taking a step further inside the tent with an amused look covering his face, his head cocking to the side as she caught her breath. "Make a noise next time."

"I said your name like twice," He countered, Gabby shooting him a narrow glare as he answered her look with a shrug. "Not my fault you were too caught up in your own head." He continued, Gabby releasing another heavy breath of air before she waved him off, the woman going back to her previous task as Antonio kept his eyes on her.

From first glance alone, he could see how tense she was, his sister looking like she was close to snapping as she moved around the small space. Though that hadn't been completely out of the norm as of late, Antonio knowing just how on edge his little sister had been the last few weeks. And while some of it was work related, that wasn't the only thing causing her stress, the other main source of her frustration recently having everything to do with a certain blonde firefighter back in Chicago.

He knew it wasn't his place to get involved, that Gabby and Matt were adults and could make their own decisions, but he'd be lying if he said this wasn't something he'd worried about ever since they got back together; that the distance would be too hard on them. And if Gabby's behavior in the months that had passed since she last saw Matt were any indication, that's exactly what was happening now.

Everything had been fine at first. When she first got back from Chicago a few months ago, things were alright. She was a little sad, and it was clear even to Antonio that she missed Matt, but nothing was too different. She'd just come back, thrown herself into her work like she'd done for as long as he'd been here, and quickly got back into her usual schedule. And everything was good.

But as the weeks passed, he noticed a shift in her, his baby sister losing that spark she once had. Admittedly, it took him a while to see it, Gabby doing her best to mask her feelings, as she so often did, but he was beginning to see just how much of an effect the distance was having on her. She was gradually becoming more and more disconnected from everything, and everyone, here, and it worried him, because he knew it was caused by her being away from Matt.

And he couldn't help but wonder if Casey was feeling the same way.

He knew better than to ask her about it, the topic of her and Casey being a touchy one as of late, especially since the fight they'd had last month; though if you were to ask Gabby, she'd insist it wasn't a fight as it was so much a disagreement. But Antonio knew that was bullshit, he just was smart enough not to push it.

And while the older Dawson still wasn't a hundred percent clear on what had caused the disagreement, and that it probably stemmed from more than just one issue as the frustration of them not being able to be together had continue to grow over the last few months, he knew the breaking point had been when Casey was supposed to set aside time and come for a visit, but then he hadn't be able to at the last minute.

When those plans first fell through, she'd been disappointed; beyond it, actually, Antonio remembering just how upset the whole thing made her, which had inevitably led to some tension between the couple for a while. But then, for a moment, there'd been a sliver of hope that they'd still be able to see one another, Gabby having talked about trying to get some time off last minute for another quick trip back to Chicago. But that ended up not working out as well, leaving the couple exactly where there had been; which was over two thousand miles apart. And it had left a bit of lingering uneasiness between them.

He didn't know details, Gabby hadn't shared them and he hadn't asked, but what he did know was things were hard between the former spouses. And they seemed to only get harder and harder as the days went on.

But thankfully, there was a bright spot in all of this, one that had significantly lifted his sister's mood here recently, as her and Casey had finally nailed down new plans for him to visit.

After the few failed attempts at trips to see one another, a lot of ups and downs, and some fights and bickering that usually ended in the couple not speaking to one another for a few days until one of them inevitably caved, Matt and Gabby had finally gotten plans set for him to get here. He was supposed to get in on Thursday, and spend over two weeks here with her. And unlike his first attempt at getting here that had been ruined by the CFD, Casey had assured her nothing would stop him from getting here to see her, this trip much needed for the couple that had gone months without seeing each other other than through a phone screen.

And though Antonio could tell she was skeptical of this visit at first, Gabby not wanting to get her hopes up once more, with the visit happening in just a few short days, he knew she was looking forward to it more and more with every passing moment. Especially in recent days, she'd definitely seemed to be more like herself, though she still had her down moments as well. But Antonio hoped that once she got some time with Matt, she'd be able to get out of this funk she was in and things would begin to get a little easier for the long distance couple.

"Are you just gonna keep staring at me?" Gabby questioned, pulling him from his thoughts as his vision snapped into focus, finding his baby sister watching him with an annoyed expression.

"Sorry, I was just thinking." He replied vaguely, the younger Dawson raising her eyebrows expectantly as she waited for him to elaborate, Antonio releasing a sigh before saying the first thing that came to his mind. "It's just you look a little stressed, I wasn't sure how much work you had to do." He settled on, his own excuse sounding lame as it left his lips. But Gabby didn't seem to question it, the woman simply nodding with widened eyes as she looked down to the organized mess of paperwork around her.

"Yeah, yeah… It's a lot. But I'm trying to get everything done before Thursday." She replied knowingly, her body immediately relaxing at the mention of the day she'd been waiting for for so long, Antonio well aware of just how important these next few weeks would be for her once Casey arrived.

"Ah yeah, the big day." He spoke lightly, Antonio taking the opening since his sister had been the one to bring it up. "What time is he getting in?"

"Pretty early, his flight's overnight… So I'm gonna head home Wednesday afternoon, or evening probably, then I don't think we'll get over here until probably Sunday, maybe Monday if I can push it." She replied with a slight wince, knowing she really shouldn't be taking that much time off. But with Matt finally coming, she couldn't find it in herself to care, Gabby knowing they both needed as much uninterrupted time together as possible. "And thank you again, for picking up some of the work around here while I'm gone."

"No need to thank me, sis." Antonio replied with a soft smile, knowing just how badly Gabby needed this, how she needed to see Matt, the younger Dawson nodding in response with a smile of her own before she continued moving around the room, clearly looking for something particular. "I'm, uh- I'm just glad he was finally able to get here," He continued, Gabby looking up from the stack of papers in front of her, "it's only been, what…"

"Three months, one week, and two days." She breathed out without missing a beat, the words tasting bitter as they left her mouth as she spoke of how long it had been since they'd seen one another. "But who's counting." She added, trying to lessen some of the heaviness in the air as Antonio gave her a sympathetic nod.

"I know it's been hard on you sis, on the both of you, but none of that will matter when he gets here." Antonio responded, trying to be as supportive as he could, though the little thought in the back of his mind was reminding him yet again of how this was exactly why he didn't think this arrangement was a good idea in the first place. But he'd never say that out loud, especially not right now. "And then once you guys come to the sight, I know everyone here will be excited to see him, too." He added, his words bringing a small smile back to Gabby's face as they both knew just how true his words were, Matt having left quite the impression on everyone when he'd been here over the holidays.

"Yeah, they will be." She replied with a soft grin just as she heard her phone begin to ring in her pocket, her smile growing when she pulled the device out and saw who was calling her, Gabby's finger hovering over the answer button before looking towards her brother. "It's Matt, do you mind to…"

"I'll get out of your way." He responded knowingly, Gabby giving him a grateful nod before he walked out of the tent, the woman quickly answering the phone before it went to voicemail.

"Hello?" She spoke softly, resting her weight back into the table.

"Hi baby." He greeted, the sound of his voice relaxing her instantly, as she was just happy to be hearing from him. And while that hadn't always been the case over the last few months, with some of their phone calls ending abruptly in bickering between the two, none of that mattered anymore. With any arguments between them stemming from the fact that they just missed each other, now that his new plans to come here were set in stone, they'd mostly been able to just focus on missing each other, instead of having that black cloud of uncertainty hanging over them with them not knowing when they'd see one another. There hadn't really been any of that tension between them during their last few calls, which was something Gabby was extremely grateful for. "How are you?"

"I'm good… Busy, but good." She told him, running her tongue long her bottom lip before continuing. "I'm trying to get as much work done as possible before you get here." She added with a soft smile as Matt stayed quiet. "So it's been kind of hectic, but it's worth it… What about you, you're on shift today, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah I am."

"How's it going?"

"It's, uh… It's good. Busy over here, too." He responded softly, Gabby nodding despite the fact that he couldn't see her. "We've already had a few calls today, but it's been fine. Nothing too bad."

"Well, at least one of your last shifts for a few weeks has been an eventful one." She joked lightly, waiting to see if he had any sort of remark, but when a few seconds passed and he had yet to say anything, she continued on. "Which, speaking of… I've already got a few fun things planned for us when you get here. Though, Thursday will pretty much just be us at my apartment, since I'm sure you'll be tired after traveling all night."

Gabby paused her rambling yet again as she waited for him to say something, his silence causing an unsettling feeling to form in her gut as she heard him release a deep breath.

"...What is it, Matt?" She asked, realizing he was going to need some prompting to get out whatever it was that he clearly didn't want to say, Casey sighing softly before he spoke up.

"I… It's about this week." He started, Gabby's eyes falling closed as her entire body tightened, the once happy look on her face being replaced with a blank one as she bit down on her tongue. "Boden talked to me this morning, and I guess, well-"

"You can't come." She replied shortly, Matt pausing for a moment before he continued.

"No, I can't."

Gabby went quiet for a moment, the heavy feeling in her stomach only getting worse as it slowly sunk in that she, once again, wouldn't be seeing Matt anytime soon. And while that alone was enough to upset her, she wasn't sure what was worse; the fact that she'd have to go even longer without seeing him, or the fact that she couldn't even say she was surprised.

"You, uh… You said this was for sure, that nothing was gonna come up." She responded after a few seconds, Gabby doing all she could to keep her voice calm.

"I know I did, but there's this conference thing the department's doing- I'm not even sure what all it entails, but I didn't think I'd be a part of it… Boden told me I wasn't needed, so I didn't mention anything about it. But then when I came in today, he told me they want me there." He explained quickly as Gabby stayed quiet. "They're making me miss shift for it, too… I tried to get out of it, but I can't…" He explained, Gabby's neck clenching as she heard him sigh deeply. "I'm sorry, Gabby, but I can't make it."

Clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, she opened her eyes, trying to think over what to say to him as she felt that looming tension that had dissipated as of late starting to come back with a vengeance.

"I… Alright." She breathed out, any other words escaping her as she pressed harder against her head, Gabby practically able to hear his confusion before he could respond.

"Alright?" He questioned, clearly thrown by her few words. And though she couldn't be sure, Gabby assumed he was expecting more of a fight from her, even though there was absolutely nothing that could be done.

"Yeah… alright." She replied shortly, Matt sighing heavily.

"Gabby…"

"What? What do you want me to say, Matt?" She asked quickly, her defenses rising as she was overcome with conflicting emotions she didn't entirely understand. "You want me to say that I'm not disappointed? That I'm not upset that I can't see you for God knows how long now? Of course I am, but nothing I say, nothing I do will change this. We'll just have to try and figure something else out later… You can't make it, something else came up and you want to do it, so alright." She nearly snapped, Matt scoffing roughly in response.

"Don't do that, Gabby." He replied almost immediately, Gabby able to sense him getting defensive as well."I didn't ask to go to this stupid thing. But I'm a Captain, I'm expected to be there. I wish I didn't have to be, but don't be mad."

"I'm not mad." She countered, though they both knew that was a lie; it was that she just couldn't exactly pinpoint who she was mad at.

"You are mad, and I'm sorry. I wish things were different, but I can't exactly bow out… But please don't act like I'm choosing this over you, because I'm not. I don't have a choice, I didn't ask for this… I didn't ask for any of this."

Her chest tightened at his words, Gabby unable to shake the feeling that there was a double meaning behind what he was saying. "What do you mean 'this'?" She questioned instantly, her breaths heavy as she felt herself getting more and more upset over this entire conversation, though she did what she could to hide it.

"What?" He asked back, and she couldn't tell if he was playing dumb, or if he truly didn't know what she was talking about.

"You said you didn't ask for this… This as in us being apart?" She questioned harshly, Matt blowing out a heavy breath on the other end of the line.

"Gabby-"

"No, because if I remember correctly, you agreed to this just as I did." She fought back, his words having affected her more than she realized. "We knew what this meant, we knew you'd be there, and I'd be here, don't try and act like-"

"Baby, please stop." Matt interrupted her tangent, Gabby forcing herself to take a breath as he continued. "I didn't mean that, I didn't mean us… I meant work." He explained, Gabby gnawing on her bottom lip as she felt herself slowly start to relax, though not entirely. "I meant this coming up last minute, and us not being able to see each other… That's what I meant."

Breathing in slowly, Gabby ran her hand along the side of her face, feeling the sweat that had collected there before she nodded, knowing they both needed to calm down. "Okay…" She replied, pausing for a split second. "I- I'm sorry, for jumping to conclusions."

"It's okay… this is stressful. And it sucks… It just fucking sucks, and I know it's hard." He told her, Gabby's eyes falling closed as it was becoming more and more apparent just how true his words were with every passing day. "But it's the situation, and I understand that… Maybe we can work out another trip here soon." He suggested, Gabby clearing the emotion from her throat before she spoke up.

"Yeah, uh… maybe." She replied softly, though she wouldn't count on it. "Do you have any idea when you'd be able to try and come again?" Gabby asked him, though she wasn't sure if she even wanted to know the answer. With as difficult as it had been to get this trip planned, she was sure it would be a while before they could try and find time that would work again, which was something she knew neither of them wanted to face. But they had to.

"Uh, I don't know… I mean, they cancelled my furlough, so I get that time back. But I'm not sure when I'd be able to get away again… There's a lot going on here." He told her, just as she'd heard many times over the last few months, Gabby biting down on her tongue as it poked out between her teeth. "What about you, do you think you'd be able to get here any time soon?" He questioned, Gabby unable to stop the soft sigh that left her lips. "...I know you're busy."

"Yeah, uh, I am- I don't know, there's a lot we're working on right now, and I can't just pick up and leave everything with no notice." She replied, the words coming out harsher than she intended, and she knew Matt picked up on it, the man clearing his throat before he responded.

"...But I can?" He asked almost incredulously, Gabby clenching her eyes shut once more as her headache only continued to get worse, the stress of everything hitting her all at once as she tried to not focus on the pain pounding in her head.

"That's not what I'm saying," It was her turn to clarify what she meant, knowing the both of them were already on edge as it was, Gabby afraid this phone call would soon turn into like so many of the others they'd had over the last few months, with them arguing before one of them would just hang up on the other. Although admittedly, it was almost always her who hung up first. "But the last time I checked, us planning this trip for weeks wasn't 'no notice'." She shot back, hearing Matt go silent for a moment before he released yet another heavy breath, neither of them saying anything for a couple more seconds until he finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry, you're right, I-" He cut himself off, Gabby biting down on the inside of her cheek roughly as she waited for him to continue. "I don't wanna fight with you, at all. I'm sorry."

She stayed quiet for a moment, her chest feeling heavy as she forced herself to take deep breaths, knowing she felt the exact same way. She didn't want to fight with him, she never wanted to fight with him.

"I just… I'm frustrated, because I miss you." He continued when she had yet to say anything, Gabby blinking quickly as she looked down towards the ground. "I was so excited to see you, and I know I'm the one messing this up, but I hate being away from you."

Taking another slow breath, she nodded as she bit down on the inside of her cheek, Gabby trying her best to control the wide array of emotions that were coursing through her.

"I'm sorry, Gabby." He finished, her eyes falling closed as the pounding in her head only continued to get worse.

"I know…" She murmured, her eyebrows knitted together tightly. "And I am too… I don't want to fight either." She breathed out, hearing him hum in response. "You know I'd leave in a second if I could."

"I know you would." He replied without hesitation, Gabby pursing her lips together as she pressed her hand deeply against her temple. "But, uh… I guess this means we'll just have to plan something else. Maybe in a few weeks, when things calm down for us, we can try and get something planned."

Her stomach dropped at his words, their new reality once again hitting her hard as it sunk in they'd likely be going at least another month without seeing each other, if not longer. And it was a reality that made her want to scream, and be angry at him, but she knew he couldn't; because this wasn't his fault. It wasn't anyone's fault, it was just their situation.

But her understanding that this is what they both signed up for didn't make it any easier to accept.

"Gabby?"

"Yeah, yeah- Sorry, I'm here… Uh, that sounds fine. We'll try and get some scheduled soon." She replied, doing all she could to mask the emotion from her voice, though she was sure she was doing a terrible job. "I, um- I hope everything goes well, at the conference."

"Thank you." He replied, Gabby sensing just how cautious they were both being with one another, like they were both worried of saying something that might lead to another argument. And she hated it. "I, uh…"

His words were cut off by the sound of the loud bells ringing out around him, Gabby hearing them clearly through the phone before they were soon followed by him releasing a heavy sigh as the entire firehouse had been called out.

"I gotta go."

"Yeah…" She responded softly, Gabby biting down on the inside of her bottom lip as she heard him shuffling around.

"We'll… we'll talk later? Or tomorrow maybe?"

"Yeah, whenever's fine." She replied, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Be safe out there."

"I will, you be safe there… I love you." He told her, those last three words being the most self-assured he'd sounded since they began this conversation. And she'd be lying if she said they didn't help her feel a little better, even if only for a moment.

"I love you, too."

The two exchanged a few more quick goodbyes before they were hanging up, the heavy feeling in Dawson's gut only getting worse as she angrily tossed her phone down onto the table, her blood pumping in her ears as she fought off the few tears forming in her eyes, as she refused to cry over this.

She knew this was hard, and this wasn't how either of them envisioned this going. But she also knew they'd be fine, that this was just another bump in the road, and that no matter what happened, or how difficult things got, she'd always have Matt... And she was trying desperately to hold onto that.


Casey huffed out a heavy breath as he hopped down out of the rig, his feet hitting the ground harshly before he quickly began to strip out of his gear, his tired and aching muscles screaming at him as he moved. It had been a long call, one that was not only physically demanding, but mentally as well, and he was just glad to be done with it. And selfishly, after the difficult work call, and the even more difficult personal call just before that had been interrupted, he hoped the house would be able to sit idle for a little bit, Matt more than ready to just get back to his office and get some time alone for a little bit.

After lacing up his boots, Matt slammed the door shut, the man shutting it a little harsher than he intended as he gained the attention of all the first responders in the garage, Casey ignoring their looks as he walked around the front of the rig and headed for the firehouse. He could feel Severide's eyes on him as he walked past squad, but he ignored the stares, Casey far too tired to try and even pretend he wanted to have any sort of conversation right now as the garage remained quiet until he disappeared through the double doors.

When Casey was out of sight, Kelly looked back towards the rig before shutting his door, the Lieutenant shaking his head slightly as 81's firefighters began to filter towards the firehouse, the apprehensive feeling in the air a direct result of their Captain as a few of them shared some knowing glances.

It wasn't anything that was a secret around the firehouse, as to how frustrated Casey had been lately. It had been weeks and weeks of this same type of thing, Matt often keeping to himself more than he normally would during shift. And today had been no different as Matt had been residing alone in his office up in between calls. Though if anything, he seemed to be a little more on edge than usual, which had left a few certain members of the firehouse more concerned than others, because while no one knew exactly what had happened, the entire house knew the case of their leader's attitude.

They'd tried not to talk about it, to Casey at least, knowing the circumstances was hard enough on their Captain and the 51's former paramedic, but everyone was worried. They were worried about how Casey was handling the situation he was in, and they were worried about Dawson as well. Because while there hadn't been much contact with Gabby, aside from a few phone calls and texts here and there, they could only imagine that this was as hard on her as it was on Casey.

"Hey Severide," Herrmann spoke up as Kelly stood beside the rig, "Is something going on with Dawson?" He questioned, earning a tight look from Severide. "...What? I'm sorry, but it's pretty obvious that's what this is…" He finished, Kelly pursing his lips together before crossing his arms over his chest, seeing most of the house had crowded around in a circle, all of them watching him expectantly.

Blowing out a heavy sight, Severide shook his head before leaning his weight back against the truck. "I don't know exactly what that was, but I have a feeling it's because his trip to see Dawson got cancelled." He explained, seeing looks of realization cover their faces. Though Severide wasn't one to go around telling other people's business, he also knew the house would soon find out anyway that Casey was no longer traveling to Puerto Rico, so he didn't find it necessary to lie to them.

"Ahh, really?" Cruz asked with a frown, Kelly giving him a nod.

"Yeah… He just found out today, so he's a little…" He trailed off, earning a few understanding nods

"Yeah, that explains it." Herrmann responded, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "That's rough, I know how excited he was…"

Severide nodded in response, his eyes flashing towards the double doors before looking back to his friend. "He was, yeah… He and Dawson both. So all this has kind of made things difficult." He replied vaguely, Herrmann digesting his words before he spoke up once more.

"I can imagine… Do you think I should talk to him?" He offered, Severide quickly shaking his head.

"No, no, that's okay… I got it." He assured him, Herrmann nodding just as Severide pushed himself up off the trig, the squad Lieutenant walking towards the doors Casey had disappeared through minutes ago without another word.

Moving through the firehouse he knew by heart, Severide efficiently made his way to the bunk room, it only taking moments to get to his destination as he stepped through the door. From first glance, he immediately saw Casey in his office, the man slowly walking back and forth with his head hung towards the ground, his hand gripping the back of his neck as he paced across the small space. From across the room, he could already see just how tense the Captain was, Kelly releasing a soft sigh before he walked towards the office, Severide lightly pushing open the ajar door as the noise gained Matt's attention.

Before saying a word, Severide looked him over, Matt rubbing over his neck before dropping his hand to his side, watching his friend expectantly. "You okay?" He questioned, Casey scoffing heavily before he continued his pacing, Kelly blowing out a soft breath.

"Yeah, I'm great." He replied sarcastically, Severide crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned the doorframe, knowing he just needed to let his friend vent. "The love of my life is two thousand miles away... I haven't seen her in over three months, and now it's gonna be even longer before I can see her. Not to mention we can't have a conversation without one of us getting upset, because we both hate having to be away from each other, even though we don't have a choice. But there's no end in sight, so here we are… So yeah, I'm great." He finished, his voice rough as he met Severide's gaze, Casey shaking his head before he continued. "And then when we'd finally gotten it figured out, when we'd finally made plans, headquarters comes in and ruins it… and Boden, he- he knew I was planning to go and see Gabby, he knew when I was supposed to be gone, everyone at headquarters did, and they still do this." He huffed out, Kelly's eyebrows furrowing as he got hung up on a few certain words.

"Okay, well it didn't sound like Boden had much of a choice in this…" Severide countered, Matt drawing in a deep breath before he stopped his movements, shaking his head slightly.

"No, I know- this isn't his fault, I just…" He trailed off, Casey leaning his body weight down against his desk before drawing in another heavy breath. "I miss her, Kelly." He spoke, his voice a lot softer than moments prior as Severide nodded understandingly. "I miss her so much, and I was supposed to be with her in a few days… And then I get here this morning, and just have this sprung on me." He explained, Kelly picking up on the hint of frustration in his words.

"I know… I know how much you miss her, and how much you were looking forward to this." He replied when Matt paused to take a breath, the Captain looking back up towards his friend. "And when I talked to Dawson last week, I know she was excited, too… I'm really sorry, Case." He spoke genuinely, Matt clenching his jaw before releasing a sharp breath, the man shaking his head before it hung towards the ground.

"Yeah, I know she was. And I- this trip… we needed it." Casey responded quietly, his eyes focused on the ground. "Things with us, they've been- well you know how they've been."

"I do." Severide answered solemnly, the Lieutenant having been Casey's sounding board more often than not these last few months as things between him and Dawson had gotten progressively more difficult. "And I know this trip was supposed to help with that… How'd Dawson take it?"

Casey lifted his head once more at the question, the look on his face telling Kelly all he needed to know as Matt ran his hand lazily over his mouth before responding. "Like you'd expect… She gets it, but- She was upset." He breathed out, Severide nodding understandingly. "And I understand why she's mad, I do… And I can't even blame her for it, because I'm pissed too… I just don't know what to do about it. There is nothing we can do about it, it's just where we're at."

"Yeah, I think about the only thing you could do is go tell headquarters to shove it… but I'm not sure that would go over very well." He replied, doing what he could to lighten the heavy feeling in the air, but it didn't really work as Casey shook his head, Kelly pursing his lips together before he took a step forward. "Look man… I know Gabby's upset, and you are, too… But she knows the job, Casey. She knows you didn't do this on purpose." He told him, Matt meeting his gaze.

"I know she does, but it still doesn't make it any easier, especially when things are the way they are right now… I mean, we knew this was part of it, that there'd be times we wouldn't be able to see each other, but this-... I don't know, man, it's just a lot…" Matt vented, Kelly staying quiet as he spoke. "It's so much more than I think either of us realized, and I don't-" He cut himself off, Matt struggling with how to voice the way he was feeling as he released a heavy sigh. "I don't know, it's just hard."

Severide nodded slowly, the man unsure of exactly what Casey was going to say before he stopped himself, but he didn't press it, knowing there were some things his friend just had to work out on his own. That he had to work out with Gabby.

"...Maybe you should call her again." He suggested, Casey's eyebrows furrowing as he waiting for him to elaborate. "I know you talked to her earlier, and from the sounds of it, it didn't go great, but just… Maybe you should talk to her again."

Casey remained silent as he thought over his words, Kelly drawing in a deep breath before he reached out to place a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder, the action causing Matt to meet his gaze.

"You know, just call and talk to her… Tell her you love her, that you miss her. Talk through everything the two of you are feeling, but have a conversation that doesn't end up with you in a fight."

"You think I want all our conversations to go that way?" Casey cut in, Kelly shooting him an unimpressed look.

"You know what I mean, Casey… I know I haven't been around for a lot of your alls talks, but from what you tell me, you two almost always end up bickering. And that's not good for either of you, not when your entire relationship right now is through that phone. It's not like how things used to be, where if you two were arguing you could just come in here and hash it out… All you two have right now are phone calls and texts, and I'm telling you, I think you two sitting down and talking through everything would help... Maybe help things feel a little more normal."

Casey gnawed on his bottom lip as he digested what Severide was saying, his mind going back over his conversation with Gabby earlier in the day, as well as thinking over all their conversations as of late, his silence telling Kelly he was seriously considering his words.

"And at the very least, I'm sure hearing from you again would make her feel better. Instead of just calling with bad news, or a conversation that ends up in a fight, you could just talk." He repeated, Matt pursing his lips together as Severide took a few steps back towards the door. "Just think about it."

And with that, he was gone, Matt watching for a moment as he headed for the door out of the bunkroom, before Casey looked back down towards the ground, the weight of everything from today resting heavily on his shoulders as he leaned more of his body on top of his desk.

Releasing a heavy breath, Casey fished around in his pocket for his phone before pulling it out, the man unable to stop the small smile that formed on his face as he was immediately met by a photo of Gabby. Unlocking the device, he quickly went to his contacts, pulling up Gabby's name as his finger hovered over the number.

He knew Severide had a point… With as difficult as a lot of their conversations had been lately, calling to talk everything through seemed like something they both needed. But the problem was he wasn't even sure if that was possible right now. He wasn't sure if they could carry on a conversation that didn't end up with one, if not both, of them upset, especially after their previous talk earlier. Because despite the fact they'd ended things cordially, he knew there was still a lot left unresolved.

And despite how much he'd love to hear her voice right now, the longer he stood there, the more he was talking himself out of it, Matt fighting that internal battle with himself as he tried to figure out what to do. He wanted to talk to her, to make sure they were alright and know she was okay, but he also was too tired to argue with her right now. He was exhausted, and the last thing he wanted to do was make things worse than he knew they already were, Matt gripping his phone tightly in his hand before frustratedly shoving it back in his pocket, knowing now wasn't the right time for this.

He would call her… He would call her, and make sure they were alright.

Just maybe not today.


Gabby sat in her bed in her quiet apartment, the mind numbing silence nearly driving her insane as she tried to distract herself with the book in her hands. Though it wasn't doing nearly as good of a job as she'd hoped, Dawson practically ready to just go take some medicine to help her sleep and then try and rest, even though it was barely 8PM. But with how taxing the last few days or so had been, and especially with what today was, really all she wanted to do was sleep, and try and forget everything for a few hours.

Though the day itself had been fine, Gabby spending most of her time at the job site getting whatever work done she could, it had been in the back of her mind all day. Just like it had been hanging over her for the last couple of days… How, if things had gone according to plan, Matt would be with her right now.

He would've gotten here this morning, and they likely would've spent all day inside the walls of this apartment, making up for as much lost time as they could. They would've done nothing but enjoy one another's company, only breaking apart long enough to get something to eat. Today would've been a lot different for her, had Matt been able to be here like he was supposed to.

But he wasn't. He wasn't here, and nothing that was supposed to happen today happened. Instead, she was just alone, like she'd been for months. Like she'd felt from the second she got back to Puerto Rico over three months ago, she was completely alone, and that feeling had only continued to get worse over the last few days.

And it hadn't been helped by the fact that her and Matt hadn't spoken to each other.

At first she wasn't surprised by it, how neither of them were exactly jumping at the chance to reach out to. Things were tense, and she understood why, so they were trying to give each other space. But, as these things so often did, neither one of them seemed to want to give in first. So they hadn't talked, not since their call when he told her he wouldn't be able to come, and Gabby was trying to not read too much into it. But that was easier said than done, especially when she had no idea where they stood at the moment. She didn't know what he was thinking, or what he was feeling. All she did know was that she wanted to talk to him, but she didn't know if those feelings were mutual.

So she left it alone, Gabby trying to force the heavy thoughts out of her mind as she reread the same line on the page in front of her for probably the twentieth time that night, her hand lifting up to rub over the side of her face while she forced any thoughts not relating to the story she was reading out of her mind.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she'd managed to read a good portion of the chapter she'd been trying to finish for a while, Gabby thankfully feeling a little more relaxed as she'd wound down for the evening. But just as she was about to flip the page, she heard her phone start to ring on the nightstand, the loud buzzing against the wood causing her to look in that direction, an involuntary lump forming in her throat as she was able to see who was calling her, the photo she had set as his contact lighting up her screen.

Drawing in a deep breath, Gabby marked her page before setting her book down on the comforter beside her, the woman reaching over to grab her phone off the charger before settling back into her pillows, her eyes focused on the screen.

She hadn't been expecting him to call, not tonight anyway, Gabby gnawing on her bottom lip before she answered his Facetime without much more thought, her desire to see him and talk with him outweighing any nerves she might have about where this conversation might go.

It took a few seconds for the call to connect, but the second he came into view, she couldn't help but smile, Matt reciprocating the gesture as she looked over him. She could tell he was in his room at Severide's, the man laying down in his bed, similarly to how she was right now, Gabby feeling a rush of sadness flow through her as she was once again reminded of how he should be here lying with her right now, instead of being in his own bed.

"Hi." He spoke up first, Gabby looking back towards his face before she responded.

"Hi." She repeated, snuggling down a bit underneath her covers as she continued to make herself comfortable. "...I, uh… I wasn't expecting to hear from you." She started cautiously, Gabby saying the first thing that came to her mind. Though when she saw the slight grimace that covered his face, she was coming to regret it.

But to her surprise, he simply shook his head, Matt running his hand along the back of his neck as he blew out a heavy breath. "Yeah, I-... Things have been hectic here." He responded, Gabby giving him a nod.

"Yeah I bet… but how's that been going? The conference thing?" She questioned, taking in just how exhausted he looked.

"It's been fine, nothing too bad." He replied lightly as he forced a smile, Gabby mimicking his look. "It's a lot of work, but I think it'll help in the long run… Just wish they could've waited a few weeks." He added, Gabby agreeing wholeheartedly as she gave him another nod, Matt quickly speaking up. "But other than that, nothing's really been going on… What about you? How's work been?"

"It's, uh- it's been fine." She responded quietly, Matt's head tilting to the side as she continued. "There's a lot we need to get done, and the weather's been killer lately, so that's slowed us down, but it's been okay."

"Good, that's good." He replied, his tongue poking out between his teeth. "...And how have you been?" He asked carefully, Gabby taking a deep breath as she thought over how best to answer that question. She didn't want to lie, knowing that would do nothing to help fix the issues they were having, Dawson quickly settling on just being honest with him, even though she wasn't sure she had the energy for this conversation tonight.

"I… I haven't been great." She admitted, seeing his eyebrows immediately furrow in worry, the sadness in his eyes almost overwhelming. "Work and everything, has been stressful… And then us," She added, Matt's eyes falling closed before he nodded. "All of this has just been a lot to handle… It hasn't been easy, the last few days. Or weeks really."

He took a second to let her words sink in, Matt's eyes never leaving hers as he shook his head sadly. "I know what you mean… It's been the same for me, too." He replied, Gabby feeling a bit of relief that she hadn't been expecting flood her system as he spoke. "But I… I'm sorry." He breathed out, a small, sad smile forming over her face. "About not calling you sooner, about… everything."

"I'm sorry, too." She replied softly, the air around them already a little less tense than their last conversation. "I wanted to talk to you, I just- I don't know… This is hard, Matt." She gave in, Gabby unable to tiptoe around the problem any longer as they locked eyes through the screen. "All of this, long distance… this is so much harder than I ever thought it could be."

"I know." He agreed instantly, his voice showing just how many emotions he was holding onto as Gabby felt tears being to prick the edges of her eyes. "It's really hard, and I wish things were different, I wish this was easier, but it's not… At least not right now." He told her, Gabby's eyes falling closed as she breathed deeply.

"I know… And I know this was my idea," She started, Matt's head tilting to the side slightly as she hesitantly opened her eyes. "Us trying to make things work, that was my idea, but it's just- God, I miss you so much, Matt." She confided, a lone tear making its way down her cheek as Casey fought off his own tears. "I miss you, and I want to be with you, but I can't… And there's times I really hate that this is the situation we're in."

"I do, too." He admitted, Gabby sniffling softly as she wiped away the water streaking down her skin. "And I wish things were different, I wish we could just be together right now like we used to be, but it's not a possibility right now… This is what we have to do for now." He finished, Dawson picking up on a tone in his voice she couldn't quite understand; and it scared her.

"Yeah, this is what we have to do for now," She repeated slowly, her heartbeat quickening her chest, "...unless you don't want to-"

"No." He cut her off before she could even finish the thought, a wave of relief consuming her as he shook his head. "If you were about to say what I think you were going to, no... I'm still in this Gabby. Completely." He assured her as confidently as he could, his words bringing more tears to her eyes as she nodded, Gabby herself not even realizing how badly she needed to hear him say that. "This is hard, we can't pretend it's not, but losing you again is not an option… I can't- I can't go through that again. I refuse to." He spoke, his voice unsteady as her jaw began to tremble slightly before she nodded, Gabby doing all she could to keep herself together.

"I can't either… But I don't know what to do, Matt." She told him, her vulnerable words going straight to his heart. "I don't want us to keep feeling like this-"

"I don't either, but it's worth it." He cut her off, Gabby stopping her words as they looked at one another. "Being with you is worth it… And we both know things won't be like this forever, yeah?" He reminded her, Gabby giving him a slow nod. "I know this is difficult, but baby I don't care. As long as I have you, I know it'll be okay… I promise you, we'll be alright." He assured her, Gabby's eyes falling closed as a few more tears escaped down her skin, Matt wishing more than anything he could be there comforting her right now, instead of only able to see her through a screen as he repeated himself once more.

"We will be okay, baby… I love you, more than anything. Never forget that."

His strong words hung in the air around her, Gabby nodding as she was flooded with what felt like a million different emotions, none of which she knew exactly how to express as her eyes fell closed, Matt seeing just how hard all of this was on her. And it absolutely broke his heart.

"I love you, too." She eventually replied, Gabby looking up to meet his gaze once more, finding nothing but love and compassion shining back at her, Matt taking the moment to look her over.

While he knew they'd made some progress tonight, he also knew this went deeper than what once conversation could fix. That until they were finally able to be back together, in the same place, without thousands of miles between them, they likely wouldn't be able to completely lose this uncertainty and worry that seemed to loom over them. That same worry he could still see residing in her tired eyes.

"...What do you need right now, Gabby?" He asked softly after nearly five minutes of quiet, the woman swallowing thickly before she began to shuffle around, Matt watching as she moved to lie down in her bed, Gabby wiping away the water resting under her eyes before she spoke up.

"Can you… Can you just sit here with me?"

A small smile formed over his face, Matt nodding in response before he began to make himself more comfortable as well, the man adjusting his phone up against the pillow beside him just as Gabby had done, a calming quiet falling over them as they both laid in their own beds.

No more words needed to be said between them, at least not tonight, Matt and Gabby both content to just be in each other's presence as they did what they could to let go of some of the tension this entire situation had caused, though it definitely wasn't easy.

But Matt had meant what he said, every single word of it. He undoubtedly believed that no matter what, they'd be okay… Because they had to be.