Disclaimer: I don't own Ruroken.
Author's note: Set in the Christian arc of the anime, in the scene where Shougo has blinded Kenshin who, with Kaoru, is resting in the shack, she mending his gi and he taking it all in... This story would technically lead up to the very beginning of that scene.
Blind Faith
He's been staring into space for so long... Is he alright? Did that attack do more than just blind him?
Do I dare ask?
Kenshin moved slightly under her intense gaze, and Kaoru turned away quietly, returning to his tattered gi, which lay in her lap. She couldn't help but feel guilty for disturbing him. Whether or not he could see her, she was certain that he knew she was watching. He could sense even the faintest ki. And anyone would be able to feel a stare as intense as hers had been.
She's worrying about me. But there's nothing I can say to make her feel better. Not now. Not yet. Not when even I don't know how I am. Darkness I could handle. I've spent enough time in the dark, living as one with the shadows. Blindness doesn't frighten me. I was blinded once before, and though it resulted in the death of one I loved, I learned from it.
I will protect Kaoru. I can still protect her this way...
What if this Shougo person comes back for him? Can Kenshin handle another attack? Because I know he'll try. He'll try to protect me... Protect anyone he can, even if it's the death of him. But how do you defend against someone who can attack your senses? How do you defeat someone who can steal the light from your eyes?
She paused in her work.
How can a sword blind without making contact? I watched that move. I admit that I don't know Hiten Mitsurugi as Kenshin does... but although that man was fast, almost too fast to see, there was nothing really special about it. How can a sword blind?
I watched it. Why didn't it blind me?
How did he do it? I need to understand if I plan on defeating him. But it seems too impossible. He only lifted the blade. There was a flash of light. And then... nothing. How did he do it? Or did he really do anything at all?
Shishou taught me that Hiten Mitsurugi is the most powerful of techniques. It can accomplish anything. From watching him for so many years, I came to believe that with all my heart and soul. Hiko can do anything with his blade. If this technique had been his, I would never expect to see again. But Shougo... he is no master. And so I wonder if it was truly his own accomplishment that blinded me.
I believed that he could do it. Hiko acknowledged Shougo's skill. Shougo's own shishou is living proof that the technique could blind. Yet, when all is said and done, we are the only two who have been blinded by Shougo Amakusa's sword... And we believed. Believed that Mitsurugi could not fail.
Did our faith blind us?
She carefully turned to watch him. The mending was done. But he was resting. And she was afraid to disturb him. He seemed so peaceful, and she hated the thought of destroying that. He had so little peace. He could have a moment more.
He sat perfectly still, feeling the cool breeze caressing his cheek, loosening his silken hair. Felt sun and shadows making a crisscross of heat and cold over his exposed skin. He could feel her eyes on him.
He could smell the salt of the sea. Of sweat and exhaustion. The metallic scent of his own blood, barely masked by the fragrance of nearby flowers. Or perhaps it was only her sweet scent as she moved.
He heard birdcalls outside. Heard distant waves lapping upon sand and stone. Heard her gentle breathing from a short distance away, growing slightly irregular each time she turned to look at him. He could almost hear her heart beat in time with his own.
And he could feel the ki all around him. The faint ki of a brave, frightened community far enough to hide from his ears, but near enough to be felt. Sano... who, though missing, was thankfully still alive. Even the familiar, active ki of a certain young ninja running across stone and sand to find them... still distant, but growing closer. He could feel Kaoru... so agitated. So worried... So near...
And it was then that he realized how much more he cold see in the darkness. Of the world. Of his friends.
Of himself.
I must defeat him. He is not evil, or he would never have convinced me of his power. But be that as it may, I must win. It is a battle of wills, just as it was with Jin-ee. Only this time I doubted myself, and so I failed. I cannot make that mistake again.
He convinced me of his abilities. And so it was this strong conviction that blinded me, not his sword. Now I must break his hold on me by convincing myself of my own power.
We are not so different, are we, Shougo Amakusa? We both have fought tainted wars to protect the weak. Making of ourselves gods and demons to back our causes.
It will be a close match.
But I see now that I have the advantage. I have already walked your path, and I can see what is hidden from your eyes. Your personal war has led you into a darkness deeper than mine. A darkness your eyes cannot penetrate.
Your faith in your decieved eyes is what blinds you from your heart.
Author's Note 2: First of all, yes I admit it. I am the horrible Ruroken author who would taint the story's name by acknowledging not only portions of Seisouhen but also the Christian filler arc. If you consider it any vindication at all, the computer I was working on apparently hates the anime fillers as well, considering I honestly had to retype this story five times because for some reason this file kept corrupting. (Oddly this didn't happen to other files I was working on at the time...)
Anyway, this fic is for Shirou Shinjin and lolo popoki (neither of whom probably feel any need to be tied to it)... They get the dedication because the fic came about from my discussions with them about the nature of Kenshin's blindness in this arc. I am a sucker for putting favorite characters in physically and emotionally strenuous situations, and blinding is one of my favorites (after time travel, of course... hehe) so when both of these excellent authors pointed out to me that my adoration of this arc had problems (namely Kenshin being blinded by a guy who just lifts his sword in the air and causes a big flashing light), I had to defend the "Blind Kenshin arc" (screw the "Christian arc..." title... Kenshin fighting blind is all that matters here...) And my defense is what you see here. I blame it on a psychosomatic disorder. Basically, Kenshin believed that the attack would blind him to the point where he psychologically convinced himself that it was true. The whole thing winds up being a battle of wills much like that with Kaoru and Jin-ee. And so he regains his sight when facing Shougo and proving that his will is stronger.
No one has to believe me, but that's why I wrote this. At least now when anyone argues this point with me, I can save breath and direct them to this author's note. Hehe...
Anyway thanks for reading. Please review!
Dewa mata!
