Disclaimer: Me own nothing!
Right, well here's chapter 3! Just so everybody knows I am hating fanfic right now as I'm not getting reviews, instant messages, or chapter updates sent to my email inbox... oh well, anyway I have finished the story now, so will put up the forth and final chapter as soon as I've posted this...
"…Pause. Holly I don't remember that!" Lister said confusedly as he ran a hand through his dreadlocks.
"Just because you don't remember it for been too pissed, the hologramatic Rimmer didn't remember it for it was absent from it's database, and the currently alive Rimmer doesn't remember it as he was resurrected before these events took place – It doesn't mean they didn't happen." Holly stopped and screwed his face up, checking what he had said had mad sense… mostly anyway.
"You really talk a load of smeg." Lister said with a shake of his head. He thought for a moment, and then sighed. "Gah… Play."
The clock on the black box said now said they had jumped forward a few days; Rimmer was sat at the table, biting his nails in an extremely nervous manner. He suddenly scowled at his chewed fingernails and folded his arms, replacing the action with his foot tapping uncontrollably.
Ever since he had found out about Frankenstein he had been on edge more than usual. First he'd found out Lister had forgotten their conversation from the night before, and then he realised he was constantly worried Frankie would be discovered and he'd be court marshalled too. He also wished he just didn't care, so instead of spending what time he had left before his exam revising, he had been thinking up ways of protecting Frankie – As well as feeding her – It was amazing how she'd managed to survive on watered-down milk for God knows how long!
It had taken a while, but Rimmer had come up with a plan, and now it all hinged on one thing – How pissed Lister was when he came home tonight.
Rimmer's thoughts were interrupted as he heard a large thump hit the door. He exhaled deeply. "Unlock." He said, causing the doors to open and the human known as Lister to come tumbling to the ground in the doorway.
Rimmer went over and gave Lister a small nudge with his foot – He seemed even more drunk than last time!
He bent down and with difficulty managed to get Lister into one of the table chairs. Then he took a deep breath and slapped Lister as hard as he could round the face.
Lister woke up with a start and began to flail around. Rimmer stepped back and opened the grate, and lifted Frankie out.
"Calm down Listy – Now, would you like to hold Frankie?" He asked as cheerfully as he could through gritted teeth.
"Yes Daddy." Lister mumbled back.
Rimmer froze for a second, at Lister's words then gently lifted Frankie into Lister's arms.
"Now hold her carefully while I take a picture." Rimmer said soothingly as he picked up a camera from near the sink. "Say cheese." He added half heartedly, causing Lister to stand up and the picture of him and Frankie to be taken in a kind of candid camera pose.
"Good boy." Rimmer said as he put the camera on the table and lifted Frankie out of Lister's arms, and back into her basket. He then placed the camera in a small box and filled in the details for it to be sent to have the film developed – making sure his writing was scrawly and messy so could be mistaken for that of a drunken Lister. He then placed the box outside their quarters to be picked up by the post skutter.
After helping Lister up to his bunk, Rimmer sat down on his own bed. He had finally put his plan into action – All he needed to do now was return to normal for the next few days and try to revise for his exam. Then, when Lister was put into stasis for the crime he would have know more annoying bunk mate, he would feel like he had upheld his Space Corps duty, and he would find someway to be able to keep Frankie hidden, for he knew even if Lister didn't that Hollister would still have the cat killed once Lister was in stasis – Just as he knew Lister would choose stasis over Frankie's death…
"PAUSE! The BASTARD!" Lister yelled loudly, whacking his knuckles on the bunk ladder.
"What's wrong now?" Holly asked in a bored manner.
"What's wrong? WHATS WRONG? He was the one who ratted me out to the captain – THAT'S what's wrong!" Lister ranted before hugging his hand to him and sucking on the blood forming in a scrape across his knuckles. "I'd that that picture had got taken by me when I was blind drunk! Not by someone else when I was blind drunk!"
"Yeeees, but if he hadn't done that, you would have died, your pet Frankenstein would have died, Cat and the whole Cat race would have never existed, we would have never found Kryten or any of the weird, mysterious things we have, you wouldn't have gained another chance to get it together with Kristine Kochanski, and the crew would have never been recreated." Holly finished monotonously, though pleased that he has said something sensible.
"God I hate it when you're right." Lister muttered grumpily. "So is that what you wanted to show me? – The home movie session is over yeah?"
"Not exactly, there are two small snippets I want to show you, that I think you will find particularly interesting.
Lister sighed and rubbed the back of his hand on his trouser leg to wipe away excess blood and saliva. "Go on then…"
