Chapter Two
When Christine woke, she was at first rather confused. And sore. Her neck hurt from the awkward angle it had been in all night and her body was stiff. She blinked rapidly, staring up at a sign with neon numbers. A gas station?
She frowned, realizing she was in the passenger seat of her car and it all came flooding back to her.
She frantically snapped her head over to the driver's seat and saw it empty, startled that Erik was no longer there. She glanced around, noticing that the sun was just rising in the sky and that there was barely anyone around. Where was she? There seemed to be nothing but dense masses of trees around the gas station.
Suddenly, the door clicked open and she jumped, startled, and watched Erik fold his long body into her small car almost comically. He wore a surgeon's mask with sunglasses and his hat pulled low over his head. In his gloved hand was a plastic bag.
"Oh, good, you're awake," he said pleasantly and then immediately became fidgety. "I procured some food and drinks. I know it is not a full course meal, but we will be unfortunately without for quite some time." He sounded rather disgusted with himself as he handed over the bag.
She took it and looked inside. There were chips, slim jims and peanut butter crackers. An orange juice, a water, and a cola. Her eyes widened at the one last item in the bag and she looked up at him in disbelief. "Oreos?"
He avoided her gaze and fiddled with the key, turning the ignition. "You still enjoy those, correct?" He looked really anxious all of a sudden. " know it's been a few years however-"
"I do," she quickly stopped his awkward rambling. "I'm just…" Surprised you remembered. She gave him a whispery smile. "Thank you."
He didn't say anything but turned the car on.
She didn't know why but the fact that he remembered she liked oreos warmed her. It made her think of the times he'd admonished her for eating so many sweets when she was supposed to be training her voice, but eventually would leave her a small package at random times, just to make her happy. He'd done so up until he'd found out about Raoul…
The smile faltered, a familiar sadness and tightening overwhelming her momentarily. She cleared her throat as he pulled away from the gas station and continued his way down the road. She chanced a glance over at him. "Where are we?"
"Pennsylvania."
Wow. He'd driven quite a bit while she'd been out. She rubbed her eye and stretched her legs slightly, still feeling stiff from sleeping in the car. She didn't think she could do this for four days.
She looked over at him again curiously, noticing how his knees were practically touching the steering wheel despite having the seat pushed all the way back. He had to be uncomfortable.
"Do you want to take a break?" She offered, not sure why she was worried about him. This was the man who had kept her locked up in his home under a school theater for two weeks then a few months later tried to kill her fiance.
"A break?" He repeated as if not understanding and glanced in her direction. She could not see his eyes but she knew he'd looked at her because of the shift of his head. "From driving?"
She nodded lamely, suddenly feeling foolish for suggesting such a thing and caring. She continued anyway. "I could always drive for a while to give you time to rest. It can't be easy to be cramped in this little car for so long, being as tall as you are."
He wryly chuckled. "Has it been that long that you have forgotten how I have lived?"
Against her will, she flushed a deep red and looked away pointedly. He didn't have to laugh at her for caring. See if she did so again!
"Your concern touches me, my dear." The endearment fell easily from his lips, making her shift in her seat. "However, we won't be using this car for much longer."
That got her attention. "What?"
His eyes held still on the road ahead of him. "We will be stopping in a couple hours and at that time I will need to find us a new vehicle. You can be easily tracked with this and I can't have that." He paused and let out a small airy laugh behind the mask. She couldn't help but notice his voice wasn't quite as muffled as it was with his full face mask. "Besides, I do not believe this old pile of metal would be able to keep this up at such efficiency for much longer."
She knew her car was old, it had around 160,000 miles on it. She was surprised it had lasted this long, to be honest. However, she was still shocked to hear they'd just dump it somewhere and get something else.
"But… it's my car," she protested. "Couldn't we just, like, change the license plates or something?"
"I'm afraid not. I've gotten you into this disaster, Christine, and it's my job to make sure you are one hundred percent safe. I will take absolutely no shortcuts."
She wasn't happy about losing her car she'd had for a few years to get her around town. It had been her first car and had been somewhat of a friend. She felt rather sentimental about losing it all of a sudden.
Frowning to herself, she looked down at the bag in her lap of food and drinks. She didn't even feel hungry and the slight happiness she'd felt about him remembering the Oreos had diminished.
He must have realized her mood because he attempted to remedy the situation. "I planned to stop at a motel and I figured you'd appreciate a bed and a rest from the car. It couldn't have been comfortable sleeping against the window such as you were. We will have quite the amount of driving ahead of us and so it would be prudent you take advantage of it." He paused, hoping she'd be happier and she avoided his eyes. She felt the burning gaze even with the shades on. "I will also try to find you something else to eat. Something more substantial."
Christine decided to take pity on him. He did seem guilty. For all of it. "Thank you."
He relaxed in his seat, clearly relieved that she wasn't going to continue to be angry with him. Couldn't he see how difficult this was on her? She was literally uprooting from her life because of him.
They were silent for a while, both lost in their troubled thoughts, until she finally couldn't keep silent any longer. "Why were you watching me?" It had been killing her to know ever since he'd evaded her question on how he knew where she was. She watched him tighten his hold on the steering wheel, making a squeaky sound with his gloves. He shifted uncomfortably in the seat and pointedly avoided her gaze. Her heart quickened with apprehension.
She wasn't sure if he was going to answer her, he was quiet for so long, but then he finally relented. "When I…" he cleared his throat, an overly human reaction, "When I let you go, I had intended to never see you again. You must know this." His fingers tightened again. "I told myself that you were taken care of, that you no longer needed me. You made your choice. So did I."
She swallowed uncomfortably and looked down at her hands awkwardly. It was obviously hard for either of them to talk about that time.
"Even so," he continued on, "I allowed myself one grievance. I wanted to make sure you were okay, with my own eyes. It was possibly six months after you had left. I checked at your… his house first. I was surprised to not see you with him. It piqued my curiosity and so I found you at the school. I was surprised to see you alone. I assumed you'd be off somewhere with…" he cleared his throat again and shifted.
She pressed her lips together, her heart clenched tightly at the mention of Raoul and their separation. It was something she hated thinking about.
"Anyway, to see you alone, working for yourself, I couldn't help but feel like I should have watched over you. At least for a small amount of time. I didn't plan to stay in the area for as long as I did."
That made her freeze. She looked over at him for the first time since he began speaking. "Where were you going to go?"
Erik glanced over at her and she just knew they'd caught eyes for the briefest of moments. Her breath caught in her chest. He tore his gaze away again and stared at the road. "I was planning to leave the country. It was becoming harder to leave you and I knew the longer I was in the United States it was only a matter of time before you noticed my presence."
For some reason, his intending departure from the country startled her. "You were going to leave the country?"
He noticed her tone and flashed her a look. "Did you expect me to stay under the theater and let this already corpse of a body rot, after everything that happened?"
Christine felt chastised and her face burned. "No, of course not." She shifted uncomfortably. "I… I guess I didn't think all too much about where you were all this time… the last time we spoke you said…" she trailed off sadly, remembering exactly what he had said.
"I will die without you."
He seemed to remember too because he became rather still and silent for a minute. Eventually he did speak, and it upset her. "Yes well, it was probably for the best that I stayed dead to you, hmm? Then you wouldn't be in this mess."
Christine couldn't disagree but she didn't fully agree either. She busied herself with grabbing the orange juice out of the bag and opened it. "That isn't necessarily true," she finally said after taking a drink, not looking at him. "I'm sure they would have found me eventually. It's quite well known in the school community what happened. They would have connected the dots."
"Even so. I should have kept a better distance."
"If you had then I would probably be dead." Harrowing to think about, but true. In a way, she was thankful he had been around to see what was about to happen.
He made a "hmm" sound, still sounding quite guilty. She couldn't blame him. She took a moment to consider everything he had told her and couldn't help but wonder if his motives were the same as they had been before. He had considered leaving the country because he couldn't stay away from her - that had to mean something right?
Uncomfortable with voicing her thoughts but needing to know the answer all the same, because she was going to be with him for the next few days and it was something she'd need to prepare for, she broke the silence. "Do you, uh, still have feelings for me?" Her face reddened immediately and she heard his grip tighten again.
His answer came out in a choked voice. "Are we doing this now?"
Christine eyed him, noticing how tense he was. Like he'd rather be out of the car at that moment. She held her ground. "We will be spending a lot of time together. It's something I need to know."
Erik breathed heavily and took a minute to gather his answer before speaking again. "Would it make a difference?"
"That depends…" she said slowly but honestly. "The last time you-"
"Yes, yes I know!" He broke her off frantically, as if not wanting to bring it up. "If you're worried I'm going to trap you and manipulate you into loving me again, rest assured I have learned my lesson." She was relieved by that at least. He shifted again in the seat. "However, I do not believe I will ever stop loving you."
Christine's breath left her at the small confession and she swallowed thickly at the onset of warm tears that suddenly rushed to her eyes for some reason. His words did something powerful to her that she didn't understand. That she'd never understood.
When she was too silent afterward, Erik assumed the worst. "But I will not try or do anything to you, Christine. You have my word. My goal is only to keep you safe."
Christine believed him, even though she was unsure of how she felt about his feelings he still had for her. In a way, she felt relieved? Maybe? She didn't know. At the same time she felt dread. It was confusing.
"Okay," she said to ease his nerves. He relaxed only slightly in the seat and they continued their drive in mostly silence.
Eventually, a few hours later, Erik did make good on his word and found a motel on the side of the highway that did not look to be frequented much. It was somewhere she'd imagined her father would have stopped at during his travels in his small band in the eighties.
Once they were settled into a room, Erik left her to find them a new car and do something with the other one. Before exiting it, she murmured a soft goodbye and thank you to it, and willed herself not to cry ridiculously at the fact she would never see it again. That the chapter of her life with it was over.
She hid this from Erik of course, not wanting him to tease her about it again. She also didn't want to appear weak minded.
He made her promise to lock the door behind him and not to answer if there were any knocks. She took the time to sit on the bed to reflect on everything, alone for the first time since the morning before classes the day before. Her stomach ached from nerves and she had a hard time sitting still.
She had never thought she'd see him again. When she had imagined it, or dreamed it for that matter, she drew up scenarios like him appearing in her apartment one evening. Telling her how she was disappointed in her voice and the fact that she was throwing away everything they'd work hard for.
Other times, he was begging her to come back, like he'd done before she'd left. Before he'd sent her away. The look on his unmasked face, the way he spoke to her as he confessed his undeniable love for her that night, the way she had kissed him - it was forever burned in her mind. And even though she frequently fought to not think about it, to avoid the confusing and powerful feelings it brought with it, she could not run from it all in her dreams.
And now… now, he was there. Alive. Breathing. Just as energetic and him as before. Except now they were in danger and he was protecting her. She was astonished to feel in her heart the truth of the fact that she did trust him. He just had this way about him that told her he would never let anything happen to her.
He cared. Even when she had left with someone else. Even when he had let her go. He still cared. No one in her life had ever unconditionally cared as much about her except for her father.
Meg, bless her soul, was a wonderful friend but she was rather focused on her dream of dancing and she had a lot of other friends who she had more in common with. Christine was sure that Meg would be very worried about her once she realized that she was missing, but her life was so busy that she doubted it would make too much of a difference.
Then there was of course Raoul. Sweet Raoul who had promised her the world at the time but once everything became more real, after the effects of everything, he'd been unable to deal with it.
After Erik had let her go, she'd moved in with him for a brief amount of time. He had been very attentive at first, caring for her and letting her know that he was there for her through this hard time. And he was - but… there came a time where he just couldn't anymore. He didn't understand.
Erik hadn't just been this madman like he seemed to Raoul. Yes, it had been scary and she had been very frightened by the end of it, but Erik had been her friend. Her best friend. He'd comforted her through accepting her father's death. He had listened to all of her thoughts and problems. He had given her advice. He had given her presents just to make her smile. And most importantly, he had brought music back into her life. Her voice and his music had been their life for the couple of years she had known him.
She grew attached to him. She couldn't just let him go so easily.
Raoul didn't get that. She had tried explaining it to him but he immediately grew defensive and assumed she cared about Erik. He did not use the words but he didn't need to. He thought she was crazy for caring.
To put it bluntly, Christine mourned Erik. Not only because she assumed he had died like he had informed her, but because she no longer had him as a friend.
Not wanting to lose Raoul either, she has tried to make things work. She tried to find what she had lost in Erik, in Raoul, but it was impossible. They were so different.
She began to realize that perhaps they had been in love with the idea of each other, after finding one another after all that time, and had not known what love was. She knew she was holding him back and Raoul suspected she needed more that he couldn't give.
They ended up separating on uncomfortable terms. He still texted her every once in awhile to check up on her but the last time she'd heard from him, he had found a new girlfriend from the same major as him.
It had hurt, to know he'd found someone so easily after her, and that she was left very much alone.
If she had known that whole time that he had been watching her, would she have sought him out? She didn't know. She honestly didn't. A part of her thought that perhaps she would have welcomed him back like an old friend but realistically he had scared her so badly she didn't think they'd ever be friends like that again.
That and the fact that she knew he didn't want to be just friends.
Seeing him again after all this time, it sparked a fire in her soul all over again, something she hadn't felt in a very long while. No matter the circumstances, a part of her felt relieved to see him again. Happy even.
She didn't know what to expect after he left her in Washington but she wondered if perhaps he'd stay. Perhaps she could convince him to not go after those men and instead be her friend again. Someplace where they could start fresh and maybe even play their music again.
She didn't know. She didn't even know if she truly wanted that or if she was just so desperate for companionship that she was willing to put herself back into that position.
Erik finally returned with a bag of Chinese food and locked the door behind him. He was wearing his full face mask again and this time she could see his eyes peering out at her from across the room.
He sat the bag on the table and hesitated near it. "Did you rest?"
Christine shrugged. "My brain wouldn't stop. But it's nice to be out of the car for a while."
He nodded silently and looked down at the bag of food. "I brought you lunch. I know it's not anything grand or anything but-"
Christine couldn't help but laugh lightly. "Erik, we are on the run. I don't expect a five course meal."
He glanced up at her sharply when she spoke his name and she felt momentarily off guard by the intense gaze before he let his eyes fall again. "You deserve one. After everything I've put you through." His voice was quiet and self loathing. Something she did not like. She stood.
"It's okay." Nearing the table, across from him, she peered inside, immediately becoming impressed. She looked up at him. "You bought a lot."
"I didn't know what you'd be hungry for. It's alright if you don't eat all of it. I just wanted you to have something." He met her gaze briefly and they locked for more than a heartbeat, enough to make her own heart quicken.
They looked away at the same time. He then walked away from her to peer around the room aimlessly. "I retrieved us a new car."
"Where from?" She wondered curiously. It had been rather quick. Had he just gone on a lot and given them cash?
"There is a house down the road from here. They had three different cars to choose from. I figured a small, black suv would be less conspicuous than a red sports car. It should get us where we need to be easily."
Christine gaped and dropped down into the chair at the table. "You stole it?"
Erik turned around rather gracefully and gave her a leveled look behind his mask. "Did you expect me to be able to waltz into a car dealership and buy it modestly?" At this he gestured to his face and Christine shut her mouth while casting her gaze down. "As you say we are on the run and we will have to take some liberties."
Feeling like she was being scolded, she grew defensive. "And so you had to take a possible family's mode of transportation like a common criminal?"
Erik's eyes grew tense and she could sense he was rather annoyed by her attitude. "What would you have me do? It's not as if it was my first choice! Are you honestly that naive to think that someone like me could ever have the frivolities and opportunities like you or your fanciful boyfriend? Grow up, Christine. There are things we must do to survive and it's my job to keep you safe."
She didn't even correct him on the whole Raoul subject. Completely offended and also guilty for attacking him, she reacted, getting more angry than she had since he had shown up. "It's not your job to do anything for me! You let me go, Erik! When you did that you forfeited any right to me - friend or otherwise!"
The hurt in his gaze immediately made her regret her words but he responded before she could take them back. "You're right." He took a deep breath, but still sounded terse. "I did let you go and I assumed you'd be taken care of. But you haven't been, have you? You've been alone and you've become a black cloud of despair like how I found you all those years ago." Christine tore her gaze away guiltily, feeling bitter tears grow in her eyes and unable to show him. Because what he said was the truth. He seemed to notice her reaction anyway and his voice softened. "It doesn't matter. Your life is in danger and whether you like it or not, I will protect you."
Christine furiously wiped at a stray tear that escaped and stayed silent. Hating that this was her life right now. Hating that his soft spoken words of protecting her made her feel things she shouldn't. Hating that she wanted him there with her because she was so damn alone in this world and he was the only one who'd ever made it better.
Just… hating at that moment.
"Eat," he finally said, voice changed from how it was before. "We will leave in an hour. We will need to depart from here before they notice their car is missing."
Christine nodded mutley and sat up straighter in the chair, trying to keep her emotions composed. She knew she needed to eat something. And the Chinese food smelled so good to her.
Erik left for the bathroom after excusing himself and she took the moment by herself to eat some of the fried rice and orange chicken without the uncomfortable and awkward tension between them.
She tried not to let it bother her as much as it did because it would make no difference. She knew that. However it was so difficult to do such a thing.
After eating, she laid down for a little bit, resting her eyes. Not only because she was tired and emotionally drained, knowing she wouldn't have this luxury for a while, but also because she didn't want to converse with Erik. When he returned from the bathroom, she made sure her back was to him and she closed her eyes, trying not to feel the yellow gaze burning a hole in her back.
She must have fallen asleep because what felt like a second later, she was being awoken by a gentle voice near her ear.
She recognized it immediately but did not react badly to it. Instead, she smiled and hesitated to open her eyes. Was it really him there with her after all this time?
"We need to leave." The voice was louder now, farther away, and not as pleasant sounding as it had been. Christine immediately shot up, remembering that none of this was a dream.
She must have looked frightened because he hesitated by the door. "Are you all right?"
Christine attempted to school her features because of his concern and nodded, before sliding off of the bed. "Let me just… go to the bathroom real quick and we can go."
He nodded curtly and followed her with his eyes. She didn't breathe properly until she was alone again. She hadn't meant to fall asleep and it had made her rather foggy brained. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and relieved herself, before running some water over her face.
She took a deep breath, steeling herself for what would come next, and exited the bathroom.
