Chapter Two – I Don't Trust You

A/N: mamacasper06: I hope this answers your question? I'm not abandoning this story. =)

Darkness surrounded him. It was the kind of darkness where he couldn't see anything, not even a beetle flying past his nose. It made his fur stand on end. The wolf bared his teeth. It was so dark, he had no idea if his eyes were open or closed. He raised up his nose, taking in the scents, but all he could smell was fear. The scent overwhelmed him. It seeped into his skin, clung onto his fur. It was all he could sense, all he could feel. It rooted him to the ground. With his legs shaking and his tail between his legs, the wolf whined. He never felt such fear. He never gave into fear. He was what prey feared. He did not know what to do with this new emotion. His body shook. With his ears flat against his head, he let out another soft whine, hoping someone would hear him, and pull him out of the strange darkness.

"Don't be afraid, little wolfie," a voice whispered in his ear.

The wolf turned his head, trying to find the source of the voice. It was too dark to see anything, too dark to feel anything.

"Just open your eyes…. I promise, it will only hurt a little."

The wolf whined again, his body shaking harder. Cold fear traveled through his body. This voice promised pain. He did not want to hurt anymore. He was tired of this cruel existence, a never-ending cycle of pain and fear. He wanted peace….but something as pure, simple, and innocent as that, was not deserved. This voice only gave him the opposite, it made him believe that darkness, fear and pain was what a wretched creature like him should only expect.

The wolf stood there for hours, trembling, braced for pain. Braced for the cruel voice to make him believe how wretched a creature he was. And then something in him made him open his eyes and look up. He had no idea what compelled him to do it, to raise his head out of the darkness, to embrace the fear as if someone else were with him, whispering words of love and encouragement. He could almost feel soft hands petting him through his fur. When he opened his amber eyes, he saw something that almost made him cry out in longing. A white, twinkling star. He couldn't remember its given name, only that it was known as the dog star.

It was twinkling brightly, giving him a path of light. The wolf could see it through a small window above his head, and right next to it was the glowing, white full moon. Its power radiating, calling him, promising the call of the wild to him. Howls echoed in his head, bringing forth an instinct to run and chase and hunt. The howls of his pack began to wash away his fear. This had once meant something to him, but he couldn't remember why. The memory would not come to him, for it was lost in the trundles of darkness that wove around every inch of his body, seeping into his heart, taking hold of him….

"About time you stop dreaming," the voice growled again in his ear, and with that, the light vanished. The darkness engulfed the wolf. He turned his head, and his amber eyes connected to icy-blue eyes that had a red tinge to them.

He looked directly at those cold eyes, unable to look away. Fear like he had never known swept through him once more.

"You killed me," she whispered. "You're nothing but a monster. You killed me! You killed children! You killed ME! You promised! You need to be punished!" she hissed, her blue eyes still connected to his own.

It was an accident! he thought. He tried to say those words, but they couldn't come out. They were stuck in his throat. All that came out was a whimper, followed by a low whine. Shame washed over him.

"You Killed Me!" the voice hissed again, and this time the light of the moon shone on the owner of the icy-blue eyes and cold voice. And he could see the pale face of a young girl with auburn hair.

"You promised, Remus, you promised to take me with you!"

No!

The wolf tried to run, but his paws were glued to the ground. Blood began to drip onto her face. Her blue eyes growing pale, until he could barely see her irises.

He struggled some more, fought with everything he had, and then out of the terrifying darkness, came a name that made his heart constrict in pain. A name that made his chest feel so heavy and tight, he could hardly hold himself up. The darkness released a bit of its hold on him, giving him a memory of a young girl. The memory flashed through his mind, quick and painful. A vibrant and young girl, full of determination, bravery and suffering. Then followed by the scents of blood and death, screams full of fear as they changed into the howls of a young she-wolf's.

And he knew she was right.

He did not deserve anything but punishment, because what he did was unforgivable. He was responsible for her death. He killed her, and he could barely remember her name! The wolf bowed his head in submission and regret, waiting for his deserved punishment.

"I'm sorry...," he tried to say. "Kaylie…I'm…."

Suddenly there was a loud howl, a howl he'd never heard before. The silhouette of another wolf was the last thing the wolf saw before closing his eyes tight, bracing himself for pain. Suddenly, the trundles began to release him, slithering back into the shadows. The girl growled and faded away.

Wake up!

The wolf snapped opened his eyes.

Remus found himself drenched in sweat. His blankets and sheets were twisted around him. He could barely make out his room in the grey morning. Fear and guilt made his beating heart ache. He wondered if it were possible to start taking Dreamless Sleep Potions. He couldn't go on like this. The nightmares were growing worse each night, and he was losing sleep. Anxiety began to fill his entire body, and he couldn't stop shaking. That girl was still on his mind. Even though in the dream he could barely remember her name, he remembered it clearly now. The name left a bitter taste in his mouth.

She's right….

It was his fault she lost her life. He killed her. Remus did not deserve to live while that young girl was buried underneath the ground. He felt like the monster she claimed him to be. He had promised her, and he failed her. He failed Jonathan Porter. He hated feeling so low of himself, but how could he not? When every night he relived his darkest memories.

Every night he was reminded of Greyback, reminded of Kaylie's death. It was hard to forget, especially when the brand of Werewolf: Classified Dark Creature was burned into his skin forever. How could he move on? How could he forget, and live, and be happy? And he was falling, falling so far down that Remus was sure no one would be able to pull him back up.

He closed his eyes and stayed in bed for a few moments more, trying to find the will to get out of bed, for he had to start the day. How could he teach his students? Knowing deep inside, he was a monster, that he killed children their age? What would they think of him if they knew? Remus snuggled deeper into his blankets, trying to push all the anxiety and pain away. He had to stop thinking like that, he had too, for his students and for Harry. They were all counting on him. So he forced himself out of bed and into the shower.


An hour or so later, Remus found himself at the Great Hall for breakfast, nursing a cup of strong hot coffee mixed with cream and sugar; to take his anxiety away. He was feeling sleep deprived and depressed from his nightmare. So lost in his thoughts, he did not notice Severus' arrival, until the dark wizard sat next to him and poured himself a cup of black coffee as well.

"Is it wise to sit so close to me in front of your Slytherins?" Remus asked, still looking down at his coffee, keeping his eyes averted. He didn't want Severus to see the bags under his eyes or the haunted look in them. He did not want the Potions Master to worry about him.

"Let them see. We are merely two professors of this school sitting alongside each other during breakfast, discussing lesson plans and nasty term papers."

Remus took another sip of his coffee, not feeling up to chuckling at Severus' small and rare joke.

Severus waited for a reaction, when Remus didn't say anything more, he began to pile some eggs onto his plate. "You look like you've had better mornings, Lupin."

Remus shook his head, thankfully catching sight of Harry arriving to the Great Hall. The boy looked like he was in a foul mood with his two friends, Ron and Hermione, arguing on each side of him. That reminded Remus how Sirius and James used to argue with him in the middle.

"Harry doesn't seem happy…," he commented, hoping his observation would distract Severus from any further questions.

Severus scowled, glancing at his adopted son before drinking his coffee. "He better change that attitude. I will not have him acting like a brat in my class today."

"You cannot let this argument come between you and Harry, Severus. You should talk to him."

"And what do you suggest?" Severus slammed down his mug in irritation. "I tried talking to him. He is just so stubborn, like his mother! I used to believe that child was completely like his father, I was wrong! Sometimes he acts like a carbon copy of Lily Evans!"

"And isn't that a good thing? You grew up with Lily, you knew her way before I or my friends did. You were used to her stubbornness. I'm certain you can handle her son's stubbornness as well."

"It's much more complicated than that, Remus. I know I compare Harry a lot to his parents. He may seem exactly like his mother, but he is his own person. If it were Lily in this situation, she might've listened to me, unlike Harry...I know he can't trust adults. He can't trust Dumbledore to handle this situation."

"Still, try to talk to him. Harry needs to know if he can't trust Dumbledore, then he can trust you."

Severus nodded. "That's the problem. He says he does, but deep down…," he trailed off, then downed the rest of his coffee, and said in a harsher tone, "if he really trusted me, then he wouldn't be so angry at me right now!" Severus stood up. "I have to leave, I have potions that are simmering."

Remus only nodded. He wasn't in the mood to make Severus stay to talk some more. He was glad the Potions Master was leaving, in fact. Remus really just wanted to be left alone to get his thoughts together before class.

He sipped his coffee, noticing Severus still lingering and frowning down at him.

"Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do, Remus...," he whispered.

Remus blushed, knowing what Severus meant behind those words.

"You look really tired," Severus murmured so softly, that only a person with werewolf hearing could pick up.

Remus averted his eyes away. He wanted to tell Severus about his nightmares, he wanted to take down his mental barriers and let him in. He wanted to show Severus how much of a mess he was inside. He so much wanted to tell him, but he couldn't. He thought about the kisses they shared, the spark he felt, and he knew he couldn't deny his feelings for Severus forever. But how could he open up to someone, perhaps even fall in love with someone, when Remus could barely look at himself? Yes, he was a mess, and Severus deserved better. He had too much going on at the moment with Harry and his role in the war. Plus, Remus knew in his heart he wasn't ready, not after the disastrous ending of he and Sirius.

"Remus…?"

Remus kept his eyes on his coffee. He couldn't look at Severus and pretend he was okay.

"Have tea with me tonight?"

He should say no. He should push him away. It wasn't safe to start anything right now. Remus was too broken, too dangerous. It wouldn't be right, yet he couldn't shut out the tiny voice in his head: but what if you said yes, what if you did let him in? And his heart leaped at the thought of saying yes and having tea with Severus, to be alone in his company for a few hours.

Remus slowly met Severus' warm gaze and he couldn't help but nod once at the invitation, despite of the tirade of reasons why he should say no going on in his head. Severus' gaze was intense, causing Remus to blush. And he knew Severus was sensing his negative energy this morning. Remus was sure he could see the depression in his eyes. He could tell Severus wanted to say something, but was holding back since it was too risky in the Great Hall. The warm intensity of those dark eyes made Remus want to suddenly lean in, he wanted to continue feeling the warmth, he wanted to feel the sparks between them again, but he couldn't get up. He just sat there, hating the coward he was, staring at his coffee as Severus walked away, taking all the warmth with him.


Harry's day could not have started off any worse than it already had. He was beyond hurt and upset that Ron and Hermione didn't believe him about Draco. They were doubtful, and did not seem to care enough that Draco might be a Death Eater. Voldemort had his hold on the Slytherin, pulling him deeper into the dark arts, and Harry knew the evidence was on his forearm. Despite of Ron's and Hermione's assumptions that if Harry were right, then it just meant Draco getting what he wanted, Harry couldn't agree with them. He knew Draco... Draco wanted to play Quidditch professionally after Hogwarts or become a healer. He wanted nothing to do with the dark arts.

He thought they had gotten over their prejudices and anger towards Draco, yeah, he knew the Slytherin had been shitty to them in the past, but he changed, he wasn't like that anymore. It was never the real Draco. Harry knew the real Draco deep down inside, hiding behind that prickly interior of a mask. He was just a kid like Harry, screaming for help, surrounded by people who couldn't understand. It was something Harry had gone through himself after Sirius died, and if it wasn't for Severus to pull him out, Harry had no idea what would've happened to him at the Dursleys.

And speaking of Severus, Harry was still mad at him. The Potions Professor refused to listen to him, treating him like a child! It was so frustrating. He felt so alone, and he dreaded the evening, when the time came for the talk Severus promised him.

"Harry?"

Harry turned his head to the voice calling his name, his mind still cloudy with his thoughts.

"Isn't it risky to have Lupin come back to Hogwarts?" Hermione huffed in annoyance.

Harry looked at Ron. What is she on about this time? he thought as Ron caught his eye, sighing in exasperation.

"I'm just saying, everyone, parents, the Ministry, school board officials, all know that Remus is a werewolf. I wonder how Dumbledore was able to pull this off. Any little complaint against Remus and the school board can make Dumbledore fire him. Anything can go wrong."

"Ahhh, Hermione, you worry too much. I'm sure Dumbledore has gotten everything taken care of. He won't let Lupin get chucked out of Hogwarts!" Ron said.

"Yes, but you're not seeing the bigger picture here, Ronald!" Hermione stepped in front of them, so they were both forced to stop in their tracks. "Professor Dumbledore might be able to handle the angry responses from parents, but it won't stop them from pulling their kids out of school. He doesn't have full power over Hogwarts. If the parents and school board want him out, then he is out! Werewolves are not taken lightly. It's only a matter of time before someone starts to say something about Remus being too close to teenagers. And especially after what happened to him this summer, he is still in danger from Death Eaters, werewolves and You-Know-Who. He needs to lay low, the Prophet is no doubt going to be all over this as soon as word gets out that Remus is teaching again. Professor Dumbledore won't be able to protect him from that, and one more thing!" she said, stopping Ron from interrupting her during her tirade.

"Think about it, guys, Remus has the Dark Arts post again. Last I heard, that teaching post is still cursed, which means…."

"He'll only be here for one year…," Harry realized. It dawned on him that something terrible was going to happen at the end of the year to make Remus leave, just like in his third year, and his heart felt heavy at the thought. Remus belonged here. Teaching was his element, and it wasn't fair that Remus might be out of a job at the end of the school year because of this bloody curse.

"I would bet on anything that something is going to happen to make Remus leave again," Harry finished, finally understanding why Hermione was so worried. He looked at Ron who realized it too. His ears were red with worry for their favorite teacher.

"Blimey, Harry," Ron said. "Lupin has taken the post before. He's the only one who has ever came back…maybe he broke the curse? I mean, no one's ever came back."

Harry shook his head feeling worried and helpless. He knew nothing he could ever say to Dumbledore, Severus or even Remus, to have him resign. It wouldn't change anything, and there was no going back. They just had to watch out for their favorite teacher so he wouldn't fall victim to the curse again.


Defense Against the Dark Arts was always Harry's favorite class, and a lesson with Remus Lupin as the professor was beyond extraordinary. Remus was a natural teacher. A teacher who loved his subject and cared deeply for his students. He'd definitely forgotten how fun Remus' classes were.

Remus ended the lesson, and the three Gryffindors, along with their classmates, were packing up their things, getting ready to go to their next lesson of the day. For Harry, Ron and Hermione, it was Potions. Harry's stomach was a jumble of nerves. Severus was acting so much like his old self last night. Would he regain the role during class again? Harry couldn't stand Severus acting like that again to him, as if nothing ever happened. He knew it was supposed to be an act, but it was just so real, it brought back too many past emotions.

"Harry, may I speak with you for a moment?"

Harry looked up to see Remus standing in front of his desk.

"Um…, sure, Professor, will it take long? I have Potions next."

"It won't take long. I certainly won't make you late to Severus' first Potions class of the school term." The werewolf gave him a small smile, a mischievous gleam in his green eyes that Harry hadn't seen since Sirius died.

"Yeah, you wouldn't want to be the subject of his murderous glare," Harry mocked.

"No, I wouldn't fancy that," Remus chuckled. "I just wanted to ask you if you were okay. I've noticed you haven't been in the best of moods lately."

Harry shrugged, not liking where this conversation was going.

"Everything is fine," he mumbled.

He didn't want to talk about his argument with Severus last night. It hurt too much to think that Severus couldn't listen to him, treating him like a child. It was unfair! He so much wanted to help Draco. Then he realized, if Severus couldn't listen, then maybe Remus would. He decided to ask the werewolf, hope filling his chest at the thought of Remus helping him. That would really make this day better.

He looked up at the werewolf, who waited patiently for Harry to confide in him.

"It's Draco...Severus won't listen to me. I think he's in danger. I think Voldemort might have recruited him as a Death Eater. I told Severus that we must help him get away from Voldemort and his family, but Severus wants to just leave things to Dumbledore. I don't trust Dumbledore is going to do anything. Draco needs help right now! I can see it in Draco, he is stressed and miserable, he needs our help! And, Severus won't listen!"

Remus frowned, deep in thought as he considered Harry's words. He suddenly looked to Harry older than his years, his hair with greying stands and dark circles under his eyes. Harry noticed how his robes hung onto his shoulders. And he realized, how tired the werewolf looked, instantly feeling bad for burdening Remus with his worries for Draco. Maybe he was wrong to think Remus could help him with Draco.

"Harry…," Remus sighed, and Harry knew exactly what his answer was going to be. He'd noticed how close Remus and Severus were becoming. Harry could bet his Firebolt, Severus had already talked to Remus about it, winning the werewolf's side before Harry even had a chance.

That slimy git!

"You're on his side! Are you?!" Harry shouted, stepping away in disgust, anger and betrayal.

"No, Harry, I'm taking no one's side! Listen, I understand why you might suspect Draco is a Death Eater, this a delicate situation. You must leave this to Dumbledore. I'm sure Severus has not taken your words as lightly as you think. You must trust them!"

Trust them? As in trusting adults? Like how I was supposed to trust the Dursleys? No way! Harry thought in disgust. This is bloody ridiculous! Does anyone in this school even care?!

"We can't just let him suffer!" Harry shouted, he was beyond frustrated. Thankfully they were alone in the classroom. "He is trapped with them!"

"Severus is watching Draco, there is no need to act dramatically, Harry. Severus is doing the best he can and so is Dumbledore. Trust them! I won't say it again!" Remus growled, his eyes flashing.

Harry scowled in disgust. "I don't know why I even bothered!" He threw his back-pack over his shoulder.

"Harry!"

Harry ignored Remus, storming out of the classroom with anger filling his chest. Why wouldn't anyone listen? He had no one else to confide too…but fine…if they weren't going to listen, then Harry would have to find Draco himself and talk to him. He wasn't going to let Draco go until he forced the truth out of him. Even though they were forced in pretending to be enemies, it did not mean they really had to be. Draco was still his friend, even if he did break his nose unnecessarily on the train yesterday. They were still best friends, and Harry wasn't going let Draco fall into darkness.


It wasn't until Potions class did Harry finally find Draco. The blonde Slytherin looked pale and stressed, with dark bags under his eyes. That was all the proof Harry needed that something was indeed wrong.

He decided to try and get him alone after class. It wasn't wise to try and talk to Draco with Severus breathing down his neck, so he opened his Potions book and began to follow the instructions on how to brew a Draught of Living Death Potion.

It was then that he noticed the cramped writing in the margins. Some of the book's instructions were crossed out, and advice was given instead on how to brew. Harry wondered what student might had done this to his book, then instantly remembered why his newly bought textbook had writing all over it. This was not his textbook, this was the Potions book he found in Severus' classroom. He took it because he wanted to find out who the Half-Blood Prince was. However, he hadn't meant to take this book to class with him, grabbing it instead of his own by accident in his haste to talk to Ron and Hermione about Draco this morning.

Harry studied the instructions once more, wondering if he should just follow the book's or the owner of the crammed and spiky handwriting that looked oddly familiar, yet couldn't figure out why.

Deciding it couldn't hurt to follow the mysterious writing, since half the book's instructions were unreadable anyway, Harry began to follow the written instructions, praying his potion would turn out okay and not explode.

The potion turned out to be very difficult, Hermione was having a hard time, her hair getting frizzier each minute. Ron's potion was a dark, murky color as he stirred, trying to make it right. Harry looked around to see Draco working on his potions with Severus suggesting advice to him. The Potions Master looked up and caught Harry's eye, before making his way towards him. Harry swiftly pushed Ron's book on top of his own, hiding the Half-Blood Prince's book. He was sure Severus wouldn't approve of it.

"That vile liquid you call a potion is unsalvageable, Weasley!"

The professor waved his wand over Ron's cauldron, emptying it of its failed contents. Ron's ears grew red as he held in all his insults at the Potions Master. Ernie Macmillan's potion looked way worse than Ron's! Severus glanced at Hermione's potion and smirked at the dark color, not even bothering to help her. Harry scowled, he hated how his adopted dad treated his friends like crap.

Harry braced himself as Severus studied his potion, observing the color that was turning a pale, lilac shade. He didn't look at Harry as he muttered, "see me after class," and moved on to the next one.

Harry let out a deep breath, still feeling Severus' suspicious glare at the back of his neck as he continued stirring, and Hermione's own suspicious look. Of course, she noticed Harry's potion coming out remarkably well, and the fact that he hid his textbook from Severus.

Tired of Hermione's glare, he finished up his potion, and said, "yes, Hermione?"

"How did you get your potion that color? How are you doing it? Professor Snape didn't even criticize you!"

"I don't…I guess I just got lucky," he shrugged.

"I don't believe that! Let me see your book," she whispered furiously, adding a few more ingredients and stirring carefully, trying in vain to get her potion the same shade as Harry's.

The bell rang. Harry was relieved. Making sure no one was watching, he shrunk the Half-Blood Prince's book and hid it in his bag. "Ron, can I borrow your potions book?"

"Sure, mate," Ron shrugged, not really paying attention as he cursed out Severus to Hermione and Ernie Macmillan.

He could still feel Hermione seething with anger as he made his way to Severus' desk, as the rest of the students filed out of the classroom. Whatever Severus wanted, this better be quick. He hoped to catch up to Draco after class.

"Those extra lessons during the summer helped wonders, I see. Your skills have improved immensely," Severus said, as he examined the phials of the students' potions. Harry's was the only one that had the pale, lilac color.

"Is that all you wanted to say?" Harry asked, he really had to go.

Severus put the phial down, his eyes traveling briefly to Ron's textbook Harry was holding in his hand.

"Despite of our argument yesterday, I just wanted to say that I'm here if you need anything. Just because we argue doesn't mean I don't love you any less."

Harry nodded.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Harry looked at him, wondering if he knew about the Half-Blood Prince's book. He wondered if he should tell him about it, maybe Severus could help him find out who it was, but something in him told him that maybe it wasn't a good idea. He had no idea why, but he wanted to keep the Half-Blood Prince a secret for now.

"Answer me, Potter."

"No sir, I have nothing to say," he said.

Severus considered Harry for a moment, before saying, "I want to remind you to come to our quarters tonight after dinner. We must discuss what happened last night."

"Yes, sir," Harry replied, only so that Severus would dismiss him. He really needed to find Draco. He didn't want to hear what Severus had to say at the moment. He was still angry at him, and hurt, that Severus wouldn't help him with Draco or even listen.

"If you have nothing to say, then your dismissed," Severus said, his attention going back to the phials of failed potions.

Harry left the dungeons before Severus could call him back.

Since Potions was the last lesson for the day, instead of going back to Gryffindor tower, Harry hid in a small alcove near the Slytherin dungeon, waiting for Draco to appear. As he waited, he examined the Half-Blood Prince's Advanced Potion-Making book. The handwriting itself was strange, yet familiar. He flipped it to the front cover page, and in the small cramped handwriting, it read property of the Half-Blood Prince.

Who is the Half-Blood Prince? Can this person be anyone I might know?

The writing was just so familiar. He wracked his brain, trying to remember where he'd seen it.

It wasn't long until Harry heard Draco's voice. He quickly put the book away, then peeked out of the alcove, catching a glimpse of Draco walking down the hall with his usual group of Slytherins by his side.

Shit! He isn't alone!

He never thought about the possibility of Draco not being alone. He had no plan on how to get his attention, and so he watched with disappointment, as Draco disappeared behind the portrait. He thought about waiting some more, but realized that could take hours before Draco came out for dinner. And he would still be with his group of friends. He would have to find another way to catch him alone, so with a heavy heart full of disappointment, Harry made his way back to Gryffindor tower.


That evening, before dinner, was spent doing homework. Harry couldn't understand how he got a pile of homework on their first day, and was trying not to get distracted by Ginny who was doing her own homework a few tables away with a group of fifth years.

"Harry, I have a note for you!" Harry looked up to see Jack Sloper coming towards him handing him a roll of parchment.

Curious, Harry took it, and when Sloper left, he opened the note. He was greeted with slant handwriting that was no other than Dumbledore's, telling him to come to his office on Saturday at 8:00pm and that he enjoys acid pops. Harry wondered what this was about, and if Severus knew anything about it. Then he remembered he was still angry at him.

"Dumbledore wants me to see him on Saturday at eight," Harry said to Ron and Hermione. His two friends both looked over his shoulder, discussing the possibilities of what was waiting in store for Harry.


After dinner, Harry found himself walking to Severus' quarters, wishing he was at Gryffindor tower. He really did not want to have this conversation with his adopted dad. What was said, was said, and no talk was going to change it. Severus already made it clear that he was leaving the Draco problem up to Dumbledore. Harry decided on Saturday he was going to ask Dumbledore what his plans were for helping Draco. He was not going to let his friend become a Death Eater.

Once he got there, Harry knocked on the portrait door, mentally bracing himself and trying to calm his nervous stomach.

The portrait door opened, Harry stepped inside to see Severus brewing some hot tea in the kitchen. Seeing that brought Harry back to the summer, where everything was easy and okay between them, before this one argument tore them apart again. He hated fighting with Severus. He missed his dad. He so much wanted to tell him about his first day at Hogwarts, about his mysterious Potions book, his argument with Remus, and how worried he was about the DADA curse. He wanted to tell him everything, but the hurt in him kept him from doing just that. It left him cold, angry and closed up as he stood in the living room, waiting for Severus to invite him to sit down.

"You can make yourself comfortable, Harry, this is still your home no matter how angry you are with me."

Harry rolled his eyes as he chose his favorite spot on the sofa.

The Potions Master handed him a hot cup of steaming tea, before sitting down in his armchair.

"Before we get into things, do you want to tell me how your first day went?"

Harry shook his head, still sulking about last night's argument. He wasn't going to pretend like nothing happened, like they weren't in the middle of an argument.

"Harry…."

"I have nothing to say to you!" he said, feeling beyond irritated, it made him say things he did not mean.

"Stop being disrespectful!" Severus snapped.

Harry glared at the Potions Master, "fine! I'll keep my mouth shut!"

Severus ran a hand through his hair, looking as if he was trying hard to be patient. "Bloody teenager," he muttered as he drank some of his tea.

"Look, Harry, I don't want to argue with you anymore. I want you to understand that I have taken your accusations of Draco being a Death Eater into account. Professor Dumbledore has me watching him. I will let you know if anything happens to him."

"So, you're just going to watch him?" Harry said. "Let him be a sitting duck for Voldemort and his Death Eaters? We have to talk to him!"

"No, we cannot. We must not let him know what you are accusing him of. Dumbledore has a plan, and you must trust him, if not, then trust me!"

Harry did not say anything. That was where the problem was. He couldn't trust adults yet. He couldn't fully trust Severus as much as he wanted too…not with this, not with something this important, not when Draco's life was on the line.

"I can't trust you…," Harry whispered before he could stop himself.

It was quiet, so quiet Harry couldn't stand it. He kept his gaze on his shoes, ashamed to look at Severus. He had not meant for those words to come out. They just did, and they were heard, and now Severus was most likely hurt by them.

"I understand your anger. I know you're worried for Draco, I understand why you cannot fully trust me right now…."

Harry shook his head, "I'm sorry... I don't want to fight anymore," he said feeling bad for what he said, for how disrespectful he'd been acting towards Severus.

"Harry..."

Harry shook his head, he was feeling so overwhelmed, full of negative emotions. He wanted so much to turn to Severus and confide in him, but he couldn't. He was afraid. He couldn't fully trust him still, even after everything they've been through this summer. It was something that he would always struggle with, thanks to his aunt and uncle who raised him with fear and pain.

"I will handle this situation with Draco."

"But why did you treat me like a child last night? You wouldn't listen to me!"

Severus shrugged, "I just … I apologize. My excuse is that I'm tired of seeing you hurt, seeing you get in these unnecessary, dangerous situations. I wanted to protect you. I want you to stay a child a little longer. That is why I brushed you away last night, and I deeply apologize. I hope you learn to trust me one day. Remember everything that I say or do is in your best interest, even if it seems like it isn't. Remember you are my son, we are family, and I love you very much. Even when it seems like everything is falling apart, remember that, please, trust me."

Harry nodded, wondering why Severus' words sounded as if he were foreshadowing something…, but he decided not to ask. Maybe it meant nothing….

"Are we ok now?"

Harry looked at him. He could see that Severus was holding back. What was he hiding? This was why he couldn't fully trust him. Severus still had secrets. Despite of him being his new dad, despite of his words, Harry still couldn't fully trust him. If Severus was going to hold secrets, then so be it. Harry was going to keep secrets too. Out of spite, he decided to keep the Half-Blood Prince a secret, he decided to not tell Severus about Dumbledore's note, or even his own plan to talk to Draco.

"I'll try..." His heart hurt for lying. He felt so bad, but Severus was the one who started it. "I know I've been acting like a git lately...I'm just scared for Draco."

"Don't be afraid, he is my godson. I won't let him fall," Severus said softly.

"You should adopt him," Harry said, "he can come home with us for the holidays, that way he can be away from Voldemort and be safe with us!"

"That isn't as easy as it sounds, Narcissa will never allow it."

"She will if it protects her only son!"

Severus looked as if he were going to argue, but decided to take into consideration what Harry was saying. "I'll talk to her. Maybe she might let him stay with us during the holidays to keep him safe."

Harry smiled, "that makes me feel better."

"Just don't say anything to anyone yet. We don't know what's going to happen. I promise you, I am keeping an eye out for Draco."

"Okay…."

"One more thing, Harry."

"Yes?"

"You're having issues on my acting? You don't like it when I pretend I still hate you?"

Harry nodded, "it's too hard. It messes with my emotions. Can we figure something else out?"

"What do you suggest?"

"How about you give me like a safe word, letting me know that you're just acting, that you don't really mean anything you're saying? I know it sounds childish, but it reminds me too much of my uncle, and when you used to hate me. It traps me in the past. I need a que to remind me that it isn't real anymore," Harry shrugged, his cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"Don't be ashamed, Harry, I understand perfectly."

"You do?" Harry looked at him in surprised, his anger at his dad seeping away. He really did miss talking to him.

Severus nodded, "any suggestions?"

Harry shrugged. "A wink, maybe?"

"I can do that."

Harry shrugged, still feeling embarrassed for acting like a scared child.

Severus leant over, "hey, look at me, kid."

Harry slowly looked up at his guardian, his emotions turning from anger and hurt, to guilty and sad. He was so tired, he just wanted to go to bed.

"I'm tired, Sev, can we finish this talk up later? I'm not mad at you anymore, okay? I just want to go to bed."

Severus looked as if he wanted to say more, but held back. Harry wish he hadn't. Despite of his spiteful anger, he still wanted to confide in him about his plan to talk to Draco, and about the Half-Blood Prince, he just needed Severus to push him to do it.

"If that is your wish, we can continue tomorrow," Severus answered. "You should be getting to bed, you have lessons tomorrow."

Harry stood up, and Severus followed him to the portrait door.

"Hey, give me a hug, kid," Severus said.

Harry hugged his dad goodnight.

There was so much more he wanted to say to him, but he couldn't open up. There was so much that Severus was holding back. Harry could see it in him. How did this happen? The last day of summer break was so fun as they bonded. It was full of promises and excitement for the future, and now there was a rift between them, keeping them apart with unspoken words and mistrust.

That sense Harry had, of Severus hiding something from him was growing stronger, and he couldn't shake it off. Harry left Severus' quarters, almost wishing that he asked to spend the night in his bedroom, but it seemed childish, so he made his way to Gryffindor tower with his mind racing on this evening's talk, and his heart aching for the summer that passed, for the guilt he had for lying about his trust to his dad.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed my story and I apologize for the long wait. Thank you mamacasper06, carriemarie78, aixxx, zooyork81879, Guest, and elisabella442001 for your reviews! – Chase'sGirl19