Part 3
Rose refilled Clarisse's wine glass and lifted her feet up beneath the blanket on the couch.
"Spring is here but the night's are still so damned cold."
"Hmm…" Clarisse swirled the wine in her glass staring at it blindly.
"Sweetheart, it was one light hearted chat about France and fountains. Don't beat yourself up about it."
"I'm not, I was just, reflecting on it. How easy it was, how comfortable we were with each other. We didn't even have to try." She said the last words as the lounge door opened and Martin peaked his head around the door.
"I'm off to bed ladies; I'll leave you to it. Don't let her drink too much Clarisse she's not used to it."
"Goodnight love." Rose replied taking a gulp of her wine.
Clarisse giggled. "Now that's what I want, somebody who knows me, really knows me."
"Is that why you felt drawn to him?"
"No, hell I did my best to not be drawn to him, saying 'I couldn't help it' sounds so weak and foolish but its true. I couldn't, we couldn't…"
"Drink your wine and tell me the next part of the story."
"Some story." She whispered taking a sip from her glass. "I was unnerved after that evening, before I had hardly noticed him, I simply spoke to him when the moment arose. But after that I seemed to find him staring at me, I would glance up and he was there, his eyes on me. And I wasn't sure if it was my imagination or if it was really happening. I mean on the one hand I was totally unprepared for it, who would think the King would develop a crush?"
She stretched her legs out, placing her glass on the floor and reaching to her legs to take her stockings off.
"I didn't know how to handle that, who to complain to. But then part of me didn't want to complain, part of me was confused because I actually enjoyed the attention… and more than that I wanted it. I wanted him to stare at me, I wanted him to care because I cared, more than I should."
"And that was when things got ugly?"
"No, there was something else. A night."
"A night? I thought you said you never slept with him."
"I didn't, and I resent you thinking I would."
"Well from the pictures I've seen he's a good looking guy."
"Very, as it turns out but that's not the issue."
"Isn't it?"
"No, it isn't." She dropped her stockings to the floor and relaxed back on the sofa. "So, one night everything changed, everything shifted, and no matter how I tried I couldn't readdress the balance. I took a step too far, I allowed myself to go too far and let my guard down and…" She ran a hand through her hair. "I made a mistake."
"Didn't he also?"
"No, well maybe, he followed his feelings."
"Didn't you follow yours?" Rose leant over the couch and switched the lamp off, the only light in the room came from the candles on the dining table.
"Yes I suppose, but you know me, I never follow my feelings."
"I know, which is why you're still unmarried."
"I was put off for life."
"Hmm." Rose closed her eyes. "Tell me about Joseph, and this night."
Clarisse smiled as she watched her sister, it was like telling her a goodnight story. She closed her eyes and sank back against the pillows.
"Okay, that night. It was October, Halloween."
The Halloween Ball was something Queen Isabella had introduced when Pierre and Philippe were seven and five respectively, and it had remained part of the Genovian social calendar ever since.
Clarisse had found herself rushed off her feet that week. The extra planning involved with any ball was exhausting, yet for a housekeeper still finding her way around the rules and regulations of palace life it was damn near impossible.
By the time Friday night arrived she wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed with a hot chocolate and a good book. Yet the staff had other plans.
Whilst the gentry of the land celebrated above stairs the staff had their own private party below. All those who weren't immediately involved with serving or the running of proceedings began the party early to be joined later by chefs, footmen and waiters.
Clarisse was told it was fancy dress, yet she hardly felt the need, nor had the planning time to arrange anything therefore she arrived in a very long black dress. It had was secured at one side with a silver broach and was simple yet effective.
She arrived late, working almost up until 11:30, when she reached the party it was vibrant and alive and actually she felt rather happy to be there. She worked with these people yet and hardly knew most of them, yet somehow they were becoming her friends. Listening to stories about their families and life outside the palace reminded her that there was life outside the palace; it was something she overlooked quite often.
Cradling a glass of red wine she sat by the open window watching a rather elaborate waltz take place, laughing openly at the mistakes the dancers were making and the clumsy attempts of drunken couples at dancing.
"You worked at Windsor didn't you?" A deep voice said next to her.
She turned her to find Richard smiling at her.
"Well, I did, though it was many years ago." Shuffling along the bench a little for him she clinked her glass against his. "I was still learning. It was good experience." She shrugged.
"I heard you were highly regarded."
She smiled nudging his shoulder with hers. "I still am."
He chuckled. "That I can believe, the King is impressed with you."
For some reason the words struck a chord and she looked to his face, seeing no sign of jest or tease she accepted it as honest. "Well I'm enjoying it here."
"Good, good, they're warming to you."
"Oh well I am so very pleased." She giggled sipping her wine.
"I'm warming to you too…"
"Oh?" Was he flirting with her?
"In fact I was wondering about asking, would you like to have dinner with me?"
"As in a 'date' dinner?"
"Yes, as in a 'date' dinner." He smiled, sheepishly she felt. "So?"
She sighed and turned to look at the vibrant room again, swirling the wine in her glass as she did. It wasn't a good idea to date fellow workers, on the other hand he held a senior position just like she did and knew the rules and besides he was much younger than her and she felt flattered… she chided herself, flattery wasn't reason to risk her job.
"If you're worried, let's think of it as friends having an evening out."
"All right, dinner it is." Well, she needed all the friends she could get. "Would you like to dance Richard?"
"Ahh, alas, I have two left feet. Would you like some more wine?"
"Erm, yes, just a little though."
She watched him cross the room, battling through the crowds. It had been a long time since she'd dated anyone, a very long time. She actually felt rather nervous at the prospect.
Turning away she glanced across the moonlit lawns, Genovia was beautiful yet she still missed home. She must call her sister tomorrow; arrange to go home for Christmas. Yet she wondered how the country would look under snowfall, it would be nice to stay in the palace, to enjoy the peace and quiet as the staff went home for a few days.
At 2:45 a.m. Clarisse was one of the few members of staff still awake, and still sober. She watched as the last of the guests left and strolled through the now empty ballroom surveying the clutter and remnants of the ball. Unfortunately tomorrow her staff would be up early and cleaning, hangover or not.
Deciding there was nothing she could do about it there and then she decided to go to bed. As she passed down the corridor that led away from the ballroom she heard music coming from the library, there was no light coming from the room so she used her key and let herself in.
The comfort offered with living in a tightly guarded palace meant she feared nothing and quickly strode through the darkened room towards the source of the music, jangling the keys in her hand as she did so.
The fire was burning in the hearth, she wondered who had left it like that, and who she would be reprimanding the following morning. Perhaps those parties weren't such a good idea.
She bent down on the rug and almost screamed when somebody touched her shoulder.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, leave the fire."
Turning around Clarisse watched open mouthed as Joseph leant back in his oversized chair.
She swallowed. "Sir, I'm awfully sorry I thought the room was empty."
"It's perfectly fine, I was just having a moment to myself."
"Oh, in the dark?" She asked without thinking.
He laughed. "Yes, in the dark. I like to listen to my music in here."
"I see, well I'm sorry to have disturbed you." She stood up slowly, her knees complained at the action.
"It isn't a disturbance, you look… wonderful, did you enjoy the celebration?"
"Yes I did, did you?"
"I think your party might have been more fun than mine." He shrugged. "Too many balls, dancing with the same women."
"Ahh," She allowed herself a light smile. "I heard you're an exquisite dancer."
"Well, high praise indeed, it's finding the right partner."
She laughed gently. "I suppose so."
"What time is it my dear?"
"Almost 3:00."
He took a deep breath and looked to the fire then back to her, holding his hand out to her.
"Care to try?"
"Sir?" She stared at him confused.
"To dance, would you like to dance Clarisse?"
"Here?"
"Well, we could go to the ballroom but I think people might stare."
He got up from the chair and Clarisse noticed the jacket and bowtie discarded on the back of it. He was stepping closer to her, reaching for her hand.
"I, erm, well it is awfully late sir."
"Is that a no? And I told you, don't call me sir, I hate it."
"I'm sorry."
"Dance with me and I'll forgive you."
He was smiling intently at her, she worried she was blushing as he stared into her eyes. He was terribly charming.
Lifting her hand to his she silently agreed, she almost felt him tremble as his fingers locked with hers. Perhaps she imagined it. His arm tentatively circled her waist and she was the one to tremble, well it was more like a shiver that ran through her body.
Slightly embarrassed she lifted her face to his; he was intoxicatingly close to her and smelt so good. She felt the urge to settle her head on his shoulder and drift away as they danced. Somehow she held herself together enough to remember the steps.
As they moved together, hesitantly at first, Joseph never took his eyes from her face. It both unnerved and excited her. His attraction was obvious to her then, she should have ended the dance and excused herself. She should have halted things before they went any further. But she didn't want to. She enjoyed the sensation, was overjoyed by the fact he was so attracted to her, that he couldn't stop looking at her.
"Who taught you to dance?" He whispered.
"My father. He insisted my sister and I knew the basics."
"A wise man, and an obviously excellent teacher."
Despite his praise she found she didn't blush or even have to look away from him, they continued to move together even when the song ended and changed. He skilfully altered their moves to suit the music and she found she was becoming lost in the dance, lost in the feel of being with him, her hips moved of their own accord and she could hardly believe she was swaying in such way against a man like him…
She closed her eyes and swallowed, his mouth was near her neck, she felt his breath tickle her skin. God, it was just a dance, just a dance that was driving her to the edge of her sensibilities. She knew what was acceptable and this was far from it.
This time when the song ended she stopped the flow and stepped back from him, desperately trying to hold onto her composure. This could last forever, all night, they could remain hidden away in that darkened room dancing together, nobody would know how they moved, if they touched, if they kissed… nobody would know.
"I must go to bed." She murmured.
"Of course." He sounded husky, she wondered if she stepped forward, if she touched his hand again would he try to kiss her?
"Thank you for the dance."
"Thank you, Clarisse." He said her name with such tenderness for a second she hardly dare move.
As she broke the spell and moved towards the door she was stopped by his voice.
"Clarisse."
She turned and glanced back at him, she could barely make out his face in the dusky light.
"I apologise, if I went too far."
"You didn't." She whispered.
"I don't know, perhaps it was the wine or the magic of the evening, the feeling of finally belonging there. Perhaps it was the fact two men were lusting after me at the same time, but that dance was the most intimate and wholly sexual act I've ever known…"
Clarisse shifted onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. "He didn't go too far, I did, I allowed my personal feelings to overcome my sense of right and wrong."
"Maybe that's a good thing." Rose replied watching her from the other end of the couch.
"How can it be a good thing? I left, I walked out on my job… and I hurt him."
"By leaving?"
"Yes, but before that too, we hurt each other." She groaned frustrated and lifted herself up from the couch pacing the room. "I can't believe I'm here discussing it, I can't believe I could be so stupid to fall for royalty, how can one do that? How could I, I'm not stupid, am I, Rose?"
"I don't believe you're stupid, in fact the more you tell me the more surprised I am."
"How so?" Clarisse folded her arms.
"Well, I know you won't want to hear this honey but you tend to be rather cold at times." She pulled herself into a sitting position. "Hear me out for a second before you jump on the defensive. You tend to turn away from possible relationships, from any emotional contact, I'm shocked at the way you gave into these feelings for him, at the way you allowed yourself to embrace the feelings rather than simply block them out."
Clarisse chewed down on her bottom lip contemplating her words; eventually she dropped her hands to her sides in defeat.
"He caught me off guard."
"Ha, perhaps. Perhaps he simply got under your skin for once."
Clarisse ruffled her hair and yawned. "It's late and I have to go into town tomorrow and sign contracts. Would you like to come see the house?"
"Of course."
"Right, well then I'm going to bed."
"I want the rest of the story tomorrow."
"Yes, yes." She bent over Rose and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight my dear…" Rose clung to Clarisse's hand as she tried to move. "Clarisse, could you help me to bed I'm not sure I can walk."
Clarisse laughed then shook her head. "Too much wine."
