Sometime in this chapter, we'll get to see Shinji break out of his shell a little. In what fashion, you'll have to find out yourself. SO READ! And oh yeah, it might kind of even gross you out so be warned.
Disclaimer 'n' stuff: I don't own Evangelion, because I'm a loser, and I fail at life
'Whew… That was awkward…' Shinji thought. The event that had just unfolded in the hallway, struck him almost instantaneously when he reached his desk. He simply stood there for a moment, lost in thought and bewilderment.
'That wasn't me… When have I ever done anything like that?' Three or four times it was that he rewound the touching little moment in his head.
'It's as if… It really wasn't me… As if I had some kind of invisible hand on my shoulder, that pushed me through all the motions…' He was even surprised that Asuka hadn't slapped him nor punched him for the gesture. It must have had to do with the anniversary. 'It has too… I'm so uptight around her, usually a hug would be a death sentence! By why didn't she react like she, Asuka would.' The din of thoughts in his head came close to the din of the classroom. Without the teacher present yet, voices yammered and paper airplanes dominated the airspace overhead, the usual scene that an instructor would find upon entering his or her classroom.
'I wonder what she'll have to say about this later… But it wasn't that big of a crime, so she probably won't get that bent out of shape over it…' Shinji's attention shifted when the instructor entered the classroom from the back door. He ventured to the front of the room, taking his place behind the podium. As if on instinct all of the students started to quiet down once they saw the teacher enter. This was a new class that Shinji was put into, as was everybody else in the room when they added an extra subject to all students schedules. The subject was Philosophy, and the teacher had only shown up two days before hand so nobody in the class really knew who he was. He had white hair that parted in the middle, falling on either side of his face in choppy strands. He looked to be in his early thirties. The new instructor wore casual wear. A pair of black slacks, sneakers and a blue windbreaker. He wasn't very tall, maybe only three or four inches taller than Shinji, and kind of thin.
"Hello class. My name is Mister Nightingale. How are you doing today?" A few incoherent mumbles echoed throughout the classroom. Touji, who had walked in a few minutes late raised his hand and said
"Why do you ask?"
The teacher's brow furrowed, and he folded his arms in front of his body. "I don't know, why don't you tell me?" A smirk wormed itself along the bottom of his jaw.
"Uh…." Touji stuttered. "Because you have nothing else to say? To break the ice maybe?" He was puzzled as to why the instructor asked him this question.
"Re-think this ah… What is your name?"
"Touji Suzuhara"
"Yes Touji… It's not Why am I asking all of you the question, but Why am I asking the question? Where is the deeper motive, other than to break the ice?"
"Uuuh, because you're curious?" A sweatdrop formed at Touji's temple.
"Close, VERY CLOSE!" the instructor over enthusiastically half-shouted. "It is because I want to know. I want to know what you have to think. I could just come in and teach, completely ignoring the general attitude of the classroom and carrying on with my own idea of how I feel, but that feeling would grow old by the end of the day… So, I'm asking you, how you feel, because I want difference, I want change, I don't want to be stuck with the same boring old perspective for the entire day! I want to be entertained by new ideas, so that I can stay in an entertaining mood. That is why, Mr. Suzuhara."
"Yes sensei…" Touji said, obviously confused but not showing it.
"Please, don't call me by the name of Sensei, nor instructor. Just call me Mr. Nightingale, or just plain old "Teacher" if you must. I am not here to instruct, for instruction has no feeling, no compassion! I am here to teach, to impress upon you all that I know about modern day philosophy, and life! Now that, that takes feeling in order to be effective! You might as well call it, my purpose in life as long as I occupy the same classroom as you, and you have something that you want to learn. Now, I will be frank. If you don't want to learn, or at least pretend to want to learn so that you can get a grade, but rather sit in this class, and do nothing because you're popular, because you're cool, or because you're a so called rebel, I do not want you in here. Indeed, you have my permission to leave and roam the halls as you want! Just as long as you do not disrupt the educational balance of all those who do want to learn. Now, is there anybody that feels that they want to leave right now?" He scanned over every student in the classroom. Everybody was silent, obviously thinking that their new teacher was just a little eccentric.
"Well, if nobody want to leave, I guess we'll move right along then!" Mr. Nightingale announced. "Let's get to know each other. When I call on you, I want an answer that you believe is true, not what I want to hear. Think about it for a second, and tell me what's on you mind. How about you miss, er…" He glanced down at the attendance sheet. "Miss Dekai?"
"Yes Mr. Nightingale?" A high pitched voice at the very front of the classroom squeaked. She had short choppy pink hair, and a faint lisp in her speech. She was definitely "teachers pet" material.
"Miss Dekai, could you please tell me what the meaning of life is?"
"Ummm…" She thought for a second. "To be kind to others?"
"A nice try Miss Dekai, how about you back there in the corner?"
"Um, have fun?" a male student from the back of the room guessed aloud. Mr. Nightingale went through five or more students, all giving out generic answers somehow thinking that there was one concrete answer, before the spotlight landed on Shinji, who had gone unnoticed by even Touji who sat next to him.
"Uh, who me?"
"If you're Shinji Ikari, then yes you." He said with a grin. "Say, aren't you one of the three Eva pilots?" It was unbeknownst to Mr. Nightingale that Touji had also been an Eva pilot for a short time before he was taken out of commission, but it was really just another skeleton in Touji's closet, one that he never spoke to anybody about. Through further research he could have figured it out, but was much more interested in Shinji though as of now Shinji was not very interested in himself as a direct result of the public revelation.
"I, uh… Yes…" Shinji looked down at his desk in discomfort. About twenty sets of eyes were locked on Shinji, most of who didn't realize who he was until now. Nightingale realized that Shinji obviously didn't care to talk about the topic too much, and resumed with his question.
"So, will you answer the question?" He asked Shinji.
"Do you really want my honest opinion?" Shinji asked, unsure.
"But of course."
"Well… I think that the meaning of life is not to answer the said question… But find the right question to ask. We humans are a crime against logic, and finding the answer would be near impossible."
"A crime against logic Mr. Ikari? Why do you say so?"
"Well… The human heart and mind are so finely tuned that there are a near infinite amount of feelings and secrets that one can hide away." A frown spread across Shinji's face. These were the things that he always agonized over after thinking to much.
"When the idea of an AT field comes into play, it has to have it's limits… Otherwise we wouldn't have any means of physical form and therefor, would not be individuals. However… The human mind holds infinite possibilities, a vessel for carrying infinite scenarios which is in turn locked inside of a space, that being the AT field which is not infinite. In truth, all humans are a walking contradiction because of this. I am a walking contradiction to myself, and everything around me…" After that, Shinji went silent. In fact, the entire room was silent, calm enough to here the scratching of a dustmite. Mr. Nightingale was obviously surprised.
"Very interesting Mr. Ikari. You see class, now that is an answer! Full of heart, and opinion! As depressing as it might have sounded, an opinion. Now, think about that as you work. Take out your text books and read pages Five through Fifteen, and answer the questions at the back." Shinji did not really hear this though. His thoughts had wandered off again, thankful that the attention was off of him. His thoughts were yet again, on Rei. On a few memorable times with her that she actually did open up to him. On positive and negative times in both their lives, and how he would no longer greet her on a day to day basis as he usually did when she was still alive.
'It's been a year… Why are these things hitting me now?' Hopelessly lost within his own daydreams again, Shinji sighed and laid his head down on his desk. 'Why did she have to go? Why… We could… Could have saved her…' His eyelids started to grow heavy, and sleepiness tried to blanket him. 'Why… Why did he have to take her? If… That fucker takes another of my friends… I'm… Going to… Kill him…' His eyes twitched as the conversations of others floated in and out. He almost fell asleep, until he heard something that upset him a little.
"Yeah, that Rei chick? I hear that today was the one year anniversary of her death… But hell, good riddance. She was a weirdo anyways, we don't need abnormal people around here, kind of like that Shinji kid… Those Eva pilots are all nutcases I tell ya… Plus she wasn't even that great looking. Sure, the blue hair was a compliment, but she never wore any make-up, and those weird red eyes of hers…" Shinji's eyes were open now and getting bloodshot. His head still rested on the desk, but his hands gripped the edges of it firmly. He grew angrier and angrier as this side of the conversation went on. The guy who was saying it was no more than a desk row away. Shinji was squeezing the desk so hard at the edges that he could hear it buckle, and cracks started to snake through the wood table.
'Motherfucker! Who the hell does he think he is talking about her like that?' His thoughts screamed at him. 'Just calm down Shinji… They are only words, words that could hurt you as many have before if you take them too seriously…' Shinji tried to close his eyes again and relax, but negative accusations about both Rei and him had continued to home in on his ears. He could feel himself shaking again. 'What's going on with me? What is this?' Shinji's adrenaline levels continued to rise, and his breathing got shallower. 'How can he speak of her like that?' Shinji cared not for himself in this carelessly presented slander, but for Rei.
When one speaks ill of the recently dead in the presence of a friend or relative, that friend or relative will tend to become deeply angered. Sometimes the rippling effects of death will not hit until a few months to a few years after that loved one has died, and then the true grieving will begin. (Personal experience here… Rest In Peace Seldon!) It was at this moment that Shinji Ikari chose to start truly grieving, and… To re-arrange somebody's facial structure as well.
"Excuse me… Could you please end this conversation?" Shinji probed after lifting his head from the desk. He didn't quite look into the male students eyes, rather than look through and past them. "I knew Rei… And I don't know what you think of her, nor do I really want to know… But please. This has been a hard day for me." The energetic feeling in his chest compelled him to be a bit more brash, but he kept as calm as possible.
"Sorry kid… Does the truth hurt? Mind your own business punk." Shinji recognized the student speaking ill of Rei now. His name was Tsetsara.
"Listen damnit. I've had a real trying day this far, and I really don't need this shit, now I'll ask one more time politely… Please, knock it off…" Shinji turned on his heel and started to head for his desk, when Tsetsara's mouth excreted another heartless comment.
"Don't get your panties in a twist little boy, it's not my fault your booty call bit the dust." Shinji turned around as if the same invisible hand from before had spun him in a complete 180'.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?" The entire room went silent, and all eyes were set on Shinji who was now standing in front of Tsetsara's desk. He slammed his fist down on the desk, startling the student in it. He was probably about Shinji's height, though it was hard to tell while he was sitting. He looked to be fairly physically fit, built a bit heavier than Shinji..
"Who the hell are you talking to kid? Me?" He questioned sarcastically.
"Yeah you, you disrespectful piece of shit! Where the hell do you fucking get off talking about the dead like that? Let alone one that was MY FRIEND!" An uncharacteristic rage fell into an endless pit of fire in his eyes.
"Do you think I care? All of you pilots are nutcases, and should be put down just like dogs!"
"…" Shinji was shaking, both of his eyes were twitching furiously. His face was turning red. 'What's going on? What the hell? Is this really happening?' His thoughts raced. He was afraid of what would happen next, but he didn't know exactly what it was he was afraid of. He hadn't ever felt this enraged since he had been in an Eva, and usually when he felt this kind of anger he soon after blacked out and lost control of Unit-01.
"Hey, have ya got somethin to say ta my friend?" Touji tried to separate him from Shinji.
"Move Touji." Shinji hissed.
"No Shinji, I ain't gonna let you—"
"MOVE!"
"Ok… Ok." Touji said, almost feeling endangered as he backed away. Nobody dared try to hold him back. Normally nobody would feel this threatened by Shinji Ikari, for most knew that he was a fairly delicate and unbalanced boy. His excess anger seemed to evanesce from his shaky frame and hang heavy over all of the other students heads, and this is what held them back. The one that everyone thought of as a wuss, a coward, a pussy, and a nutcase was obviously about to snap under all of the pressure.
"What're you gonna do, hit me? Just try it. I don't care if you're an Eva pilot, I can still kick your ass!." He said, standing up and inviting Shinji to hit him.
"…"
"Come on! Try it tough guy!"
"…"
"Well, I'm waiting!" He went to push Shinji, but as soon as his hand touched Shinji's shoulder he was as good as done for. The only reason things had gotten this far was that the Teacher was currently in the bathroom, and wasn't there to break it up. Tsetsara's fingertips came in contact with Shinji for only a second.
Shinji chose to snap.
Shinji grabbed the delinquents right arm with his own left, twisting it over at the elbow. He looked muscular, but squealed like a pig after his shoulder was wrenched out of it's socket. Holding him in this position, Shinji landed a punch square in his jaw. The students around them erupted into a mixture of gasps and cheers.
'Ow!' Shinji thought. He had split his knuckle open on Tsetsara's tooth, but he decided to keep punching him in the mouth anyway. The skin would grow back on his knuckle, his peers teeth wouldn't. 'Looks like fighting all those angels did have it's payoffs' He thought momentarily.
"Mother-fucking-disrespectful-little-bastard!" He shouted between blows. The crunching sound of Tsetsara's nose against his fist was heavenly music. By this time nearly all of his front teeth were broken off or knocked out, his nose was a jelly sack of shattered cartilage, and blood ran freely down the front of his shirt. The guy was bawling his eyes out, but Shinji caught up in a fit of fury didn't stop there. Fire coursed through his veins. He didn't think, and he hardly spoke throughout the whole ordeal with the exception of a few curse words and insults. Spit flew from Shinji's lips everytime he shouted, and his face was covered in little flecks and droplets of blood that were not his own. His arms were stained with blood all the way up to the elbow. The scene grew uncomfortable very quickly. It went from a fight, to a one-sided beatdown, to a massacre, to a slaughter within a matter of thirty seconds. All standing in the circle of students around the two were completely silent. Shinji had the other student on the floor, while he straddled him on top and just continued to beat him. As of now Shinji looked not even human, but a frenzied animal. All that could be heard was the
"Sckrich!" of facial bones being broken, and the dull wet thud of Shinji's fist against his face. Every time that Shinji brought his hand down a pathetic whine or squeak popped out of Tsetsara's mouth. It sounded as if a meat cleaver was being taken to a raw side of beef as Shinji reduced his foes face to raw hamburger.
"What in the hell?" An alien voice greeted the room. Mr. Nightingale, obviously back from his bathroom break broke through the circle of students and threw Shinji off.
"Shit! What the hell went on here? Hurry, call an ambulance! Elevate his head so that he doesn't drown in his own blood!" The teacher shouted as a few students went into action. Once again, the spotlight was off of Shinji. Overwhelmed, he stood up after catching his breath and sprinted out of the classroom, bolting down the hallway and out of the school.
"Hey, what's going on down here?" Asuka shouted down the hallway. Her teacher heard the commotion all the way down the hall in their classroom, and sent Asuka down to investigate and see where all the sound was coming from. "Hey! Hello?" She said, nearing the classroom that the sound and chaos was coming from. 'Wait a minute…' Asuka thought. 'That's Shinji's classroom.' Just as she finished that thought, she saw Shinji himself skid out into the hallway. He looked panicked, but what was more shocking to Asuka was that he looked bloody, severely so. He didn't notice her at first, but when he did Shinji simply shook his head and took off in the other direction. 'Shit, what the hell happened?' She thought. Asuka attempted to chase after him but was stopped by Touji.
"Asuka!" He blurted out, grabbing her by the shoulder. Apparently he was in this same classroom.
"What?" She said with hostility.
"It's Shinji!"
"What about him?" She questioned. "Did he cause all of this commotion?" Touji looked serious, almost despairing.
"Yeah, he did."
"How?"
"He beat the ever-loving snot out of this kid for badmouthing Rei, that's what."
"Oh my god! Are you serious? Why didn't you try and stop him?" She shook Touji vigorously.
"Because… I… Was, afraid of him…" Touji admitted shamefully, refusing to look her in the eye.
"Why were you afraid of him! He's Shinji! You're stronger than him!" Asuka snarled.
Touji shifted his gaze and pierced her eyes with his own, his face showing a deep confusion. "Even I can acknowledge that Shinji's kind of a wimp, and he's my friend! But you weren't there Asuka! There was something different about him, he looked like a friggin animal! He was pissed the fuck off!"
"Well it couldn't have been that bad now could it? I mean Shinji's just not that violent of a person! He's a wimp! How much damage could he have done?" Asuka asked, hoping that it wasn't much. Touji stayed silent and continued to looked back down at the floor.
"Excuse me guys." Asuka saw two men in paramedic uniforms trying to pass between them. When she saw the gurney that they carried Shinji's victim out on, she turned away and vomited profusely.
'Oh my fucking god… What the fucks gotten into you kid? I've got to find him…'
