Disclaimer: see chapter 1
Scattered Papers ch. 2
From that day forward, I lived with a constant regret of having read Shigure's letter. And even worse, I was afraid I was at risk of being ostracized from the Sohma family, or have my memory erased. How could I have posed any threat to the secrecy of the Sohma Curse? I asked myself this, and many other questions in the following days. Then I finally decided I had to tell Shigure. I had to take responsibility for my actions, and I needed to be honest with Shigure about what I had read.
I chose a calm afternoon one week later, when Yuki and Kyo were each out on a separate occasion and Shigure was in his quiet study. Feeling the sickening knot in my stomach tighten, I knew I had to carry through with this; it was the right thing to do, and Mom would've done the same. Assuring myself that what I was doing was right, I faintly tapped the wood paneling to his study.
"Yes?" his answer rang clear to me. I took a breathe and opened the door slowly.
"Shigure?" I said, stepping into his study. "I uh...wanted to talk to you, if that's okay. If you're busy, I can come back later." A part of me really hoped he was busy, but I held my ground.
"No, of course not," he answered. "What's troubling you, Tohru?" Shigure's voice was buoyant but intent. I took a seat across from him and began.
"Shigure, a few days ago, when you were out...I- I accidentally came across a...a letter you had written." Pausing for a moment to regain myself, I then continued while making an effort to not catch Shigure's eyes. "It was sticking out from under your door, and I was about to tuck it back in when..." I faded suddenly, wondering and afraid if I could go on.
"Yes, Tohru?" Shigure urged gently.
"I noticed my name though," I continued, fastening my gaze to the wall ahead and away from Shigure. "I read it." I began to choke then, tears welling up in my throat. "It was a letter to Akito. He thought I was a threat to the Curse," I said, feeling a sob escape my throat. I led my head fall onto my chest, clutching my hands in my lap and waiting for Shigure's response. He didn't answer immediately; tension grew in my chest.
"There's no use in trying to hide it from you, Tohru," he finally responded in well-planned words. "This is not the first time your loyalties have been questioned. This whole family has some reservations about you; not you personally, but because we have to. We have to be cautious of who we let into this family...because of what could happen to them...and sometimes even to us too." Shigure paused for a moment, thinking carefully of his next words. "Yuki, Kyo, and I know you would never betray our trust; I have seen you fight to protect this family and its situation many times. Akito, however, is not so trusting. The recent visits to the House have been to discuss that. We won't let him take you away or erase your memory. Tohru, I...we love you very much. Please don't be afraid."
Tears still streamed down my face; not of fear, but of relief. Shigure wasn't mad or upset; he was being kind to me, and comforting me by telling me he'd protect me too, just as I had done for them. I brushed my hand across my eyes to wipe away the tears and gave a weak smile.
"Thank you, Shigure," I said. "I trust you, and I trust Yuki and Kyo. Thank you." I then left the room, feeling an immense relief, as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
