Disclaimer: see chapter one

Scattered Papers ch. 6

Up to that point, I didn't think I had any "feelings" for Shigure. Only after that night at the Sohma House, did I start to consider what Shigure had said and begin to question my own feelings toward Shigure. It was entirely possible what Shigure had said was just out of friendship and compassion; it was just a simple 'I love you'. If I assumed things, it could mean consequences. Of course, Yuki and Kyo knew all about what had happened; I didn't even have to explain it to them.

A few days later though, I passed Kyo in the house. He abruptly stopped and gave me a strange look. I blinked at him, wondering what he was doing.

"Are you freakin' blind?" he finally said. I gave Kyo a confused look.

"I, um...Kyo, what are..." I jumbled over my words. Kyo gave me a "you're-hopeless" look and stalked off as usual. Feeling a bit jumbled over this encounter, I decided it would just be better to ignore it. Everyone did strange things sometimes, and Kyo was certainly no exception. I didn't think too much about the encounter, until Shigure started to act distant.

The first indication happened around a week after the New Year. I had been planning to go shopping. I found Shigure in his study to inquire about the shopping list.

"Shigure, did you want salmon or herring?" I asked. He glanced up from his computer, his glasses reflecting light. He held my eyes with a melancholy gaze before glancing down to the screen.

"It doesn't matter. Um, herring's fine. Just get...whatever." This answer seemed perfectly adequate to me, and continued to fully absorb himself in his work. This behavior seemed highly uncharacteristic of Shigure, but I decided that it would be best to simply leave him alone about it for the time being.

From that day forward, Shigure and I talked as usual, but the air was always suffocating with a foreign awkwardness, which I was quite unsure of its origin. I did notice something else though; Shigure never smiled at me anymore. He would occasionally give an obviously forced smile, but his eyes were always melancholy.

It was only the beginning though. There would come a day when my world would spiral out of my control. Shigure had been smiling speaking cordially with a Hari one day, and I happened to pass by. By instinct, Shigure turned and our eyes met. He had been smiling; when he saw me, it was unmistakeable. Shigure's face had insantly gone from a smile to a frown at seeing me. It was as if all happiness left his face. Without even realizing it, Shigure was now at the gears to my emotions. That encounter haunted me for the following days.

I decided to ask Yuki about it. Yuki would be able to keep things to himself, and since he knew Shigure so well, he might be able to give me some insight into Shigure's previous actions.

"You know what happened, Yuki?"

"Kyo and I have found ways to come to know about these things. What is it?"

"Shigure has been acting...distant, don't you think?" I said. Yuki paused for a moment to consider.

"Certainly not to me or Kyo, but I've noticed that he hasn't been quite himself around you lately," he finally said.

"Do you know why?" I asked.

"Oh, well, I have an educated guess," Yuki replied, trying to remain aloof in his answer.

"What?" I asked, maybe a little too strongly.

"Miss Honda, I...Am I really at the liberty to tell you? I mean, I'm not the one in love with you, am I?"

Yuki's words left me paralyzed. I suddenly knew why Shigure had done what he had done. Thinking upon it, anyone would've done what Shigure did; it was only natural. Shigure thought I had rejected him after his confession, so he tried to pretend he was unaffected. I had to do something.

NOTE: Yes, yes, I know- it's a cliffhanger! Just calm down; the next chapter will be up soon. I apologize it took so long to get this one up, but I had to formulate such a stunning close to this particular chapter. I do hope you have enjoyed my story thus far, and continue to be patient with my writer's mind. Much thanks.