Chapter Fifteen - So Where Does This Leave Us?

A/N: Chapters 1-23 of Already Home is revised. Also the song I used is Fall On Me By A Great Big World.

Harry didn't dare breathe or move a single muscle as Severus walked by him back towards Slughorn's party. Harry didn't want to think about how much trouble he would be in if his dad caught him here in the corridors, under his invisibility cloak, obviously eavesdropping.

What's an Unbreakable Vow? was Harry's first question as he thought about the argument he'd just heard between Severus and Draco. Severus made an Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa? When did he do that? Was it when she stayed at the castle during the summer? Severus never mentioned anything of it….

Harry thought of all the arguments they had in the past over Draco and his task. Severus hardly ever revealed anything. His answer was to always just trust him. The most recent argument they had, Severus had barely even listened to Harry. He just got angry and refused to talk about it. This just proved that Severus knew way more about the task than he'd let on.

And Harry thought about the words spoken between Severus and Draco about Katie Bell, about Severus mentioning more of Draco's foolish attempts to complete the task. Has there been more incidents going on that Severus has been covering up? Have my theories of Draco sneaking in dark objects been possible? Has Severus been gaslighting me the whole time? Making me think that my theories were all impossible, when in fact, I've been right? Why couldn't he just admit that? Why couldn't he just tell me, instead of making me feel crazy? What the fuck, dad?

At least Severus did take Harry's accusations of Draco being responsible over Katie Bell into account….

The more Harry thought about the conversation he'd just heard, the anger he felt towards Severus began to fade. For Severus had made it clear to him several times that he couldn't reveal anything to Harry about Draco's task and Dumbledore's plans for the war. They've argued over it enough times already, but it still hurt to hear the evidence of how much more Severus knew, and was hiding from Harry.

What shocked Harry the most, was the fact that Severus tried to perform Legilimency on Draco without consent. To force Legilimency on someone like that was an invasion of privacy. Severus had explained the seriousness of it to Harry after Severus was forced to perform Legilimency on Remus to bring him out of his wolf state of mind. Harry remembered how guilty and uncomfortable Severus felt over it, he didn't even tell Harry what he saw in Remus' mind. Severus' actions tonight just showed how desperate he was to find out Draco's plans. And Draco was able to block Severus with ease.

And why couldn't Draco just accept Severus' help? Why was he being so bloody stubborn? Why was he accusing Severus of stealing all of his glory? He should know Severus didn't care for that… And Harry couldn't help but think of how Draco spoke to Severus, as if he were truly on Voldemort's side. If Harry didn't know his dad so well, if they haven't became a family, and still hated each other, Harry would've thought that Severus was on Voldemort's side, trying to work with Draco… Was Severus that good of an actor? And Harry couldn't help but remember Draco's words in the corridor at the start of the school term, before Draco attacked him….

"Snape can't do anything, he's the Dark Lord's bloody servant! He says he's a spy, but what side is he truly on? Dumbledore's? Or the Dark Lord's? No one truly knows, but bloody Severus Snape himself!"

And Harry pushed those dangerous thoughts away. He didn't want reasons to start mistrusting his dad again.

Severus was only speaking to Draco like that because he doesn't know what side Draco's on! He was trying to figure Draco out so he could help him! This is all on Dumbledore's orders! I just have to trust him. I have to… He's my dad… I promised to trust him!

And Harry decided to do just that. To trust his father, instead of confronting him. To trust him instead of being upset for hiding secrets and gaslighting Harry. The more Harry thought about it, the whole argument did sound like Severus was trying to get information out of Draco so he could help him. Also, Harry wasn't supposed to hear this conversation, how would he even explain all this?

While his mind was going over what he'd just heard, Harry stayed absolutely still, just in case Severus came back. Once Harry was sure it was safe, did he finally let out a breath, taking the invisibility cloak off of himself.

With a small feeling of excitement making his stomach feel like it was doing somersaults, Harry realized he finally had a chance to talk to Draco after months of wanting to see if he was okay without fear of any of the Slytherins seeing them together. Harry had wanted to talk to Draco earlier in the day, but he couldn't find him. Harry studied the Marauder's Map for hours trying to find his name. He thought about what Remus had said, the map never makes mistakes, that meant Draco was somehow leaving the castle. But how was he doing it?

Harry quietly entered the classroom. It was dark with the glow of several lanterns around the windowless room, for they were down in the dungeons. Harry found the Slytherin sitting on top of the teacher's desk. Draco's feet were hanging off the edge, his hands flat against the wooden surface. Draco was looking down, so that his blonde hair was covering his eyes, not aware of Harry's presence yet.

"Draco?" Harry said softly.

Draco looked up, and Harry was surprised to see tears in his eyes, streaming down his cheeks. The circles under Draco's eyes looked deeper and darker from the shadows caused by the lanterns, his face looking more paler and gaunt than ever before.

"Shouldn't you be at the party? Impressing Slughorn with your talents, and being everyone's favorite hero," Draco asked, his voice cracking. Even though the words were meant to hurt, Harry could tell Draco didn't have it in him to pretend. That meant his facade was cracked down the middle, and Harry could see the real Draco peaking through.

"It's really insufferable in there. I'll rather be here with you," Harry said quietly.

"You'll rather hang out with me in this cold and empty classroom? Potter, just get the fuck out of here. Leave me alone," Draco snarled. "Or do I need to punch your nose again to make you leave?"

"Go ahead. Attack me again, but I still won't leave you alone," Harry said as he joined Draco on top of the desk, sitting besides him.

Draco didn't say anything in response to Harry's stubbornness, just continued looking down at his swinging feet.

"Draco, why won't you let Severus help you? This task is killing you," Harry said, keep his own eyes down on his lap.

"You heard him lecturing me?" Draco asked.

"Yes, but please don't tell him."

"I'm no snitch."

"Draco…" Harry pleaded. Just talk to me…

"Harry, can you just go please…."

"You know the Slytherins have all gone home now. We don't have to act like we're enemies."

Harry turned his head towards Draco. He didn't expect to find Draco looking at him with blue-grey eyes that were red from crying. They held each other's gaze, and Harry suddenly wanted to reach out and wipe the tears off of Draco's face.

"It's safe to just be you again," Harry finished, causing more tears to fall from Draco's face. He turned away, so Harry couldn't see him cry. "Why don't you stay with me and Severus now? That way you're not alone in the Slytherin dormitory. Take a break from this task, Draco."

"Potter, I can't just take a break," Draco choked out.

"Yes, you can. If you stay with us, I'll tell Severus to lay off of you about the task and the way you're doing at school. You can be with us for Christmas. We're going to the Weasleys for dinner. They'll be happy to see you again. We all miss you, Draco. Just know that, okay… You're not alone. You don't have to isolate yourself."

"Potter, just go!" Draco snapped in annoyance.

"No, not until you understand that I'm not letting you kill yourself over this task! Draco, you look terrible!"

"Potter, I've already gotten an earful of a lecture from Snape! Can you just stop?" And Draco was looking at Harry again, his eyes full of annoyance, yet Harry could see the fear underneath.

"Why do you even have to do Voldemort's task?" Harry asked in exasperation. "It's clear you don't want to do it! You have a choice. Don't you know that?"

"Merlin, Potter! Don't say his name! And I don't have a choice!"

"Yes, you do! And if you're so bloody stubborn to choose the wrong choice, then why won't you let Severus help you at least?"

"Why are you being so bloody annoying! You don't fucking know anything!"

"Then talk to me! I'm sitting right here next you, there's no one here to interrupt us. Explain to me everything that's going on so I can understand!"

"Potter! For Merlin's sake! Can you just please shut-up!"

Draco whipped his head back towards Harry. It happened so fast. Harry pulled back, his eyes wide with shock, feeling a bit dazed. Harry didn't realize Draco's chapped lips, tasting of salty tears, were suddenly on his own until it was over.

"Fuck! Shit! Harry, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to… I wasn't thinking!" Draco jumped off the desk. "I have to go. Don't follow me!"

And without thinking, Harry reached over, grabbing Draco's hand just in time, pulling him back.

"No, it's alright, don't be sorry," Harry said. "I'm not freaked out. Draco, I don't mean to push you about your task, but can you please just talk to me. Don't forget that we're still friends. Do you remember our pact? We'll see each other on the other side."

"This isn't the other side of the war yet," Draco replied with despair.

Harry squeezed Draco's hand, pulling him closer, so that he was standing in between Harry's legs. Their faces were close together, so Harry could see every freckle on Draco's face, the dark circles under his eyes, the stress lines caused from the past few months. Harry didn't realize how much he missed his friend, until he was standing so close to him with his Slytherin facade finally breaking.

"As much as I want to tell you about it, I cannot. Please just understand that if I don't complete the task, he'll kill me and my family. I have to do this for them. There's no way out of this. No one could help me, not you or Snape or even Dumbledore… And if the Dark Lord finds out about us being friends…then I'll be seen as a traitor…" Draco held up their hands. "This is too dangerous, don't you see that? Doesn't it worry you?"

"Stop acting like a bloody martyr! That's not even a Slytherin trait! That's more expected from Gryffindor!" Harry snapped, causing Draco to scowl, but he didn't move away. "And of course I worry, but it won't stop me from making the right choice. If anyone shall understand what it's like to having the most dangerous dark wizard after you, I would know best. Or have you forgotten? Like I've said before, Dumbledore can put your whole family under his protection. The danger of this task won't go away no matter what you decide to do. The way I see it, you're in danger either way. If you complete the task, there's always a chance of him killing you and your family. If you fail or betray him, it'll just happen faster. So since you're already acting like a Gryffindor, why can't you just be brave and turn away from Voldemort? Do the right thing, you do have a choice, Draco."

Still holding on tightly to Harry's hand, Draco only shook his head to Harry's response. Harry watched Draco look down at their joined hands, then turned Harry's arm over, pulling the sleeves up to reveal all of his scars.

"You had another relapse didn't you?" Draco asked, changing the subject. His voice was soft once again, no longer shouting or filled with annoyance.

Feeling slightly embarrassed, Harry shrugged, looking away. "Severus healed it," he said nonchalantly, trying to hide how big a deal it was.

"Was it bad?"

Harry could feel Draco's eyes on him, waiting for him to answer. Maybe Draco was trying to find the answer without Harry saying anything at all. Harry just kept his eyes down on his arm with all of its ugly scars, internally fighting himself that he wasn't a freak.

"I'm sorry for attacking you on the train, and in the corridor…"

"It's okay," Harry only said, wondering why he was okay with Draco seeing his scars, the ugly evidence of his past. Yet, he would die of shame at the thought of Ginny ever seeing them.

"Is it alright if I kiss you again?" Draco whispered.

Harry nodded, even though he wasn't sure what he felt about Draco. Harry saw him as a best friend, but something closer? And Harry never thought about being with other boys before. What about his crush for Ginny? But that fast kiss Draco gave him left Harry curious, and he didn't mind trying again.

Draco leant in. This time he was more slower, more gentle, as he softly kissed Harry.

This was way different then kissing Cho, and she was crying as well at the time. But Draco… This was Draco… And Harry felt something flutter deep in his stomach as the soft lips pressed against his own, asking for entrance. Harry opened his mouth a little, feeling the tip of Draco's tongue right before they pulled apart.

Harry took his hand away from Draco's grasp, covering up his sleeve, hiding all of his scars once more. He wasn't sure what to do or think about what just happened. Did this mean that he liked boys? But Harry still had strong feelings for Ginny…. Do I like boys or do I like girls? Can I like both? Harry never thought he'll be questioning his sexuality like this….

"So will you join us for Christmas?" Harry asked, keeping the conversation normal, staying away from the fact that they just kissed, or about the task, or even about Harry's recent relapse.

"I don't know…" Draco answered with uncertainty.

"Well if you do decide, just know we'll be happy to have you."

Draco didn't say anything, as he sat back on the desk besides Harry, turning away.

"Do you still want me to go?" Harry asked, even though he had a million more questions on his mind, just needing to be asked.

Harry wanted to ask Draco if he really was a Death Eater, and did he want to be a Death Eater? Did receiving the Dark Mark hurt? Was this mysterious task some sort of initiation to becoming a Death Eater? What was the task? What's an Unbreakable Vow?Did Draco have anything to do with that cursed necklace and Katie Bell? How many incidents have there been, and has Severus been covering them up? And how was Draco disappearing off the Marauders Map? Where was he going? And how did Draco manage to get the hang of Occlumency when Harry was barely making progress after months of attempting it? And what side did Draco think Severus was truly on? Did Draco really think Severus was on Voldemort's side?

But how would Harry ask Draco all of those questions without starting another fight between them? Draco had already made it clear that he didn't want to talk about his task or accept help. He probably wasn't even allowed to answer most of them.

And why did Draco kiss Harry? What did he think about it? Did he like it? Did it leave him curious about boys like it did with Harry?

Draco only nodded in response to Harry's question. Not saying a word.

Feeling disappointed at the fact that Draco wanted him to leave, Harry wondered what's going to happen to Draco now that he refused help from Severus. What's going to happen to him once he succeeded the task or if he failed? Fear for his friend went through Harry, leaving an icy chill in his body, making him shiver. But Harry didn't know what else to do or say to reach out to him. Draco was stubborn, already set in his decision, and it broke Harry's heart to just leave him like that. Harry felt like he was failing Draco, but he couldn't pull him out of this situation unless Draco wanted to be helped.

"I'll just go then…" Harry muttered, feeling hopeless.

And Draco still didn't say anything as Harry left the room.

Once in the corridor, Harry threw on his invisibility cloak once more, walking slowly back to the party. Harry was feeling so guilty for not being able to get through to Draco, and he couldn't stop thinking about the argument he heard tonight. And the very fact that Harry had just let a boy kiss him twice. And if Draco didn't want Harry's help, then fine, Harry would just have keep watching him on the map, just in case.


Fuming about the audacity of Draco gate-crashing Slughorn's Christmas party on some foolish attempt to complete the Dark Lord's task tonight, Severus stormed his way back into the party with every intention to find Harry, only to bade him a goodnight before retiring off to his quarters. Severus had enough of being around people. He was done. And the stubbornness and foolishness of Draco was unbelievable.

The lanterns suddenly dimmed, causing Severus to stop searching through the crowd for his son. Severus realized the party guests were all moving aside, creating a circular space around the dance floor, where Professor Flitwick could be seen conjuring up two high-seated stools, then lowering the ceiling candles so that they were floating in front of the crowd to eye level. The other lanterns and candles inside the room went out, allowing the lowered floating candles to create a glowing and warm ambience to the dance floor.

Standing in the back of the crowd, not far from the door of the office, Severus stayed where he was, watching as Slughorn stepped into the circle. Where's Harry? So I could say goodnight and leave… Now that everyone's distracted… Severus was thinking just as Slughorn began to speak. There was no sign of his son anywhere. Screw it, I'm leaving!

"Ahh, midnight has passed, and that means the end of our festivities. Thank you everyone for being here tonight, now I have one last holiday gift before you go!" Slughorn announced.

And Severus was just making his way towards the door.

"Give it up for our very own Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts, Remus Lupin! And his partner, Nymphadora Tonks!"

His partner? What is this? Severus thought. All thoughts of making a quick getaway disappeared from his mind as Severus turned back around to suddenly see Remus making his way to the circle with his guitar.

Severus couldn't help but notice how handsome Remus looked in his midnight-blue dress robes, reminding Severus of the starry night on top of the Astronomy Tower. And that thought led to their last kiss, and Severus felt sick to his stomach. He couldn't stand seeing Remus right now, sitting on that stool and tuning his guitar, with his golden hair loose from dancing all night with Tonks, now hanging over his eyes. The ache in Severus' heart was coming back stronger than ever before.

I need to go! But Severus found himself frozen to the spot. He couldn't move his feet. And Remus' head suddenly snapped up, instantly connecting to Severus' eyes. Those hazel-green depths made Severus' aching heart beat fast against his chest.

The blush on Remus' cheeks was noticeable as he broke their tensed eye contact to refocus on tuning his guitar. Severus was reminded of how shy Remus was. There was no way this was his idea to sing in front of a crowd. Tonks and Slughorn might've put him up to this, and it hurt Severus a bit that Remus never told him about this. Just like how he never told Severus when Harry finally told Remus I love you. And the distance between them suddenly felt so far.

Dressed in her black evening gown, with her blonde hair flowing down her back in loose curls, Tonks joined Remus in the circle, sitting on the second stool with an enchanted-muggle keyboard in front of her.

Severus despised the fact that her eyes matched Remus' dress robes, that her eyes were on Remus, waiting for him to start as the crowd began to quiet down. Severus scowled in annoyance, not liking the way she was looking at him as they spoke to each other, their voices unheard from the excitement of the crowd.

The room darkened even more, setting off a candle-lit glow around Tonks and Remus. Suddenly movement from Severus' peripheral vision distracted him for a second. He turned his head around to see Harry coming back inside the office, taking his invisibility cloak off, and immediately joining Lovegood and Granger.

Where in Merlin did he go?! Severus wondered. Then all thoughts of his son's whereabouts were chased from his mind, as Remus' voice suddenly rang throughout the noisy room under the Amplifying Charm.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for sticking around to listen to us perform. This song is for someone very special to me… This is what I should've told you that night. This is my answer," Remus announced.

Severus snapped his head forward at those words, and Remus' eyes somehow found him again, despite of the darkness. And Severus couldn't look away. Neither of them noticed Tonks' reaction at those words as well. The disappointment in her blue eyes as she traced Remus' gaze to Severus', her face blushing when she realized who the song was for.

"This is called, Fall On Me," Remus finished softly, as if he were saying it only to Severus.

And Severus wasn't fooled by the relaxed demeanor Remus was putting up. He could hear the quiver in Remus' voice, a sign of stage fright.

Remus then tore his eyes away from Severus. He looked down at his guitar, strumming the strings, letting out a soft melody as the flames of the floating candles flickered around him and Tonks. The room was now silent apart from the music, and Severus realized it was the same tune that Remus showed him in his kitchen that night after the weekend spent at the cabin.

Did he finish his song? Is that what Remus has being doing? Why he's been so distant, and why he's always with her every weekend? I though he was choosing her? Is Remus choosing me?

Then Remus looked up again, his eyes locking onto Severus' again, never wavering. Desperate to know what was going on in the werewolf's head, Severus broke his own rule for the second time that night. He wasn't proud of it, but his heart couldn't take it anymore. Severus wanted to know if he was about to fall off Remus' thread.

Legilimens! Severus said non-verbally, with his wand hidden in the folds of his robes.

And staying on the surface of Remus' mind, for a second, Severus could feel how shy and vulnerable Remus was feeling sitting on that stool, with everyone's eyes on him. Severus could feel the nauseating nerves in Remus' stomach, how much it was taking Remus to hold it together, and sing a song in front of everyone that meant so much to him, and fearing what Severus might think of it.

Don't throw up, you got this, Severus sent out to Remus. Ignore everyone around you and look at me. Tell me your answer.

And Severus could see Remus laying in front of the fireplace in his quarters, writing in his notebook, crossing out words and rewriting them in frustration. Trying to put everything he wanted to say to Severus that night into words, and the emotions linked to the memory were strong. Fear of getting hurt again. The pain that Remus still held inside of his heart. But there was also bravery and readiness, to move on and give love another chance. Severus could feel that the walls surrounding Remus' heart were taken down for him, and there was something else… It was a feeling Remus had for Severus that felt like maybe it was turning into love, and it shocked Severus. No one had ever felt that way for him…no one…

Unable to take it anymore, shaken by Remus' emotions, Severus pulled himself out of Remus' mind.

And the heartfelt look Remus was giving him from where he sat, with the flames of the candles reflecting in his hazel-green eyes, Severus knew that Remus felt him. He was only seeing Severus in the room as Remus began to sing….

Remus

Sooner or later the lights up above

Will come down in circles and guide me to love

I don't know what's right for me

I cannot see straight

I've been here too long and I don't wanna wait for it

Fly like a cannonball straight to my soul

Tear me to pieces and make me feel whole

I'm willing to fight for it

To feel something new

To know what it's like to be sharing a space with you

Remus' soft voice rang throughout the room. Everyone had fallen into a hushed silence. And Severus was suddenly holding his breath, as Remus still held his gaze. His hazel-green eyes were warm, sincere, and apologetic, as if he were apologizing for making Severus wait so long for his answer.

Listening to the lyrics of the song, to what Remus was serenading to him, Severus suddenly felt like he was floating. And it was only those eyes that were like an anchor to him, holding him down, keeping Severus grounded.

This is his answer,he's choosing me… was all Severus could take in, feeling tears burn in the back of his eyes. Severus refused to let them go in front of everyone, even though he was sure no one would notice since they were all entranced by Remus' voice.

And they should be… Remus Lupin, you are a pain in my ass, yet you are enchanting… Your answer is beautiful….

Fall on me

With open arms

Fall on me

From where you are

Fall on me

With all your light

With all your light

With all your light

Then Remus shyly tore his eyes away from Severus as he stopped singing. He casted his eyes down onto his guitar as Tonks took over with her surprisingly powerful voice.

Tonks

Sooner or later it all comes apart

The walls are all shattered, I'm back at the start

And I'm willing to follow this

Wherever it goes

The heart has its reasons that nobody knows

And I wanna believe in a world we can't see

Millions of particles passing through me

And I know there's a meaning

I feel it, I swear

I can't see the future, but I know that it's there

Fall on me

With open arms

Fall on me

From where you are

Fall on me

With all your light

With all your light

With all your light

Remus and Tonks:

With all your light

I close my eyes

And I'm seeing you everywhere

I step outside

It's like I'm breathing you in the air

I can feel you're there

And Severus was suddenly remembering their slow trek back to Hogwarts from Hogsmeade. Severus shyly brushing the snow off of Remus' hair, and how cold his hands were.

Remus in Severus' room, looking at his books, sitting on his bed. Those hazel-green eyes that made Severus' legs go numb as he tried to figure Remus out.

The conversations they'd shared while fixing up the classroom for Harry's D.A. Club.

Severus finally telling Remus the memories he'd seen and the emotions he'd felt, when he pulled Remus out of his wolf-state of mind.

Severus telling Remus to fall on him, letting Remus cry on his shoulder. And how Severus just held Remus in front of the warm fireplace, chasing away the cold.

Fall on me

With open arms

Fall on me

From where you are

Fall on me

With all your light

With all your light

With all your light

The time they'd spent with Harry in the cabin, working together to be there for their kid.

The silly arguments about Remus not resting his leg and the sleeping arrangements while cooking dinner, and Harry at the table, laughing at them.

When Severus slipped up and almost kissed Remus in front of the fireplace, with all the framed photos on the mantle.

Their conversation late into the night, after Remus showed Severus the cage in the basement. The tapestry with the wolves hanging in the living room, as Severus realized Remus fell asleep.

And Remus writing this song in Severus' kitchen. His hazel-green eyes shy as he showed his work to Severus. Remus holding his notebook close to him, the tension in the air between them.

Watching Harry's Quidditch game together, flirting on the stands. Severus leaning in close, tugging on Remus' Gryffindor scarf as he spoke.

The laughter they'd shared on the hill-top before Remus kissed Severus, and everything changed.

Severus finding Remus sitting on top of the Astronomy Tower, underneath the stars in the freezing air. And the ultimatum Severus gave him. The look in Remus' eyes that night as Severus kissed him….

With all your light

Is this really happening? Severus could only think in shock. This was clearly Remus choosing to be with him. Did this mean Severus was finally falling off that thread? No longer hanging in the wind, no longer waiting for an answer.

And Severus thought about that deep rooted feeling of affection for him that he felt inside Remus' head, just moments before the song. He's fighting against his depression, the pain and fear of his past for me. Do I really mean that much to him? Does he really feel this way? That I'm worth taking the chance? And that thought burned inside Severus. No one has ever felt this way towards him. He never thought he was worth being loved, and Severus suddenly felt his throat closing up.

The nervous giddiness at the fact that Remus was choosing to be with him, was tainted by Severus' terrible fate. Here was this broken, yet brave, and enchanting man, who was standing up in front of everyone, tearing down his walls for him, and the only thing Severus could give him in return was the aftermath of Albus' task.

I'm going to hurt him….

Suddenly the room began to blur at that realization. Severus wanted to be with Remus so much, it hurt deep inside at the thought of pushing him away because of Albus' task. That wasn't an option for Severus, he couldn't do it. It was too late. He was already falling so deep off the thread, and into love for Remus. Just like how Severus couldn't avoid falling in parental love with Harry. It couldn't be helped. And Severus would just have to hope in the end that they would understand, that he didn't mean to hurt them.

He had to leave, tears were starting to flow down his cheeks. Remus could find him if he really wanted to. Severus' emotionless facade was shattered, he had to go before anyone saw. And with his heart breaking from choosing his own selfishness over what was best for Remus, not being able to breathe, and a heavy lump in his throat, Severus turned quickly around, leaving the room just as the song finished with Tonk's voice, followed by a huge round of applause and cheering from the crowd.


Remus was ninety-five percent sure he was going to throw up in front of all these people as he took his seat, placing his guitar in the right position. He wasn't even sure if Severus was still here. Remus had watched him leave the party with Malfoy, and wasn't sure if he had returned yet. This was a mistake. Remus shouldn't have let Tonks talk him into it. He felt so stupid sitting in the middle of the circle among the floating candles. Trying to distract himself, Remus started to strum the guitar, making sure it was tuned properly as the crowd congregated around the dance floor and the lights dimmed. Remus suddenly looked up and was immediately lost in obsidian-black eyes.

Remus momentarily forgot what he was doing. It was Severus in the back of the crowd, watching him. Those curious, dark eyes caused Remus' stage fright to become a thousand times worse. Feeling his stomach clenching up, now Remus really felt like he was going to throw up, and he felt himself starting to sweat underneath his dress robes.

Fuck! Why did I do this! I look like an idiot up here! Remus thought, feeling his cheeks blush red.

Remus broke the eye contact, trying to regain his composure as he continued to tune his guitar. At least Severus was among the crowd so this embarrassment wouldn't be for nothing, Remus was thinking as Tonks joined him. It was one less thing to worry about. Tonks winked at him as she took her seat in front of her enchanted-muggle keyboard, looking as beautiful as ever.

Over the past few weeks, Remus and Tonks had been working hard over the song. Remus ended up writing most of the lyrics late at night when he couldn't sleep. Tonks worked on the melody and helped Remus figure out the notes. It wasn't easy, Remus had to really search deep inside himself to find the right words he wanted to sing to Severus. He wanted Severus to understand exactly what Remus should've told him that night on the Astronomy Tower. Also, Remus had to be sure he was ready to start a relationship with Severus, that he really meant what he was saying in his song.

In the meantime, it was so hard being around Severus while Remus was trying to figure himself out. Remus didn't want to isolate himself anymore. He missed hanging out with Severus and Harry, having dinner with them on Fridays, seeing Severus during their breaks throughout the day. Plus, he promised Harry that their little makeshift family wasn't broken. Whatever happens after Severus hears his song, Remus knew he had to stay on good terms with him for Harry. The morning after Severus had given Remus the ultimatum, Remus had managed to pull himself together and apologize for leaving Severus alone after their kiss. Severus had forgiven him easily, just like Remus knew he would, yet they avoided the ultimatum. Remus wasn't ready to answer yet. He always made sure to keep their conversations light so it wouldn't lead to anything serious, inviting the topic of the ultimatum in. And Remus always made sure he wasn't in Severus' company for very long. It was hard to look Severus in the eye, because Remus knew he was waiting everyday for the answer that Remus was leaving unspoken.

"Are you ready, Remus?" Tonks whispered.

"No," Remus whispered back. "How in Merlin did I let you talk me into this? I'm never drinking with you again!"

Tonks laughed, her dark blue eyes dancing with excitement. "You'll be fine, sweetheart. Just do what we've been practicing every weekend, pretend no one's watching."

"That's easy for you to say, you're enjoying the attention!" was the last thing Remus said, before taking a deep breath. He then pointed his wand tip to his throat and muttered, "Sonurus." At the same time, Remus caught Harry coming into the office and joining his friends, just as the room darkened even more. All Remus could see were the flickering flames of the candles and the silhouettes of the crowd.

Remus' stomach was now feeling as if there were a bunch Cornish Pixies flying around inside, threatening to bring back up its contents if he didn't get off this stool right now. And feeling like he was moments from passing out, Remus took another deep breath to calm himself down. He had never realized he suffered from bad stage fright.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for sticking around to listen to us perform. This song is for someone very special to me… This is what I should've told you that night. This is my answer," Remus announced.

Despite of the dimmed lighting, among the crowd of people, Remus suddenly found Severus' eyes once again.

"This is called Fall On Me." Remus' voice shook. He tried to imagine he was telling this only to Severus, hoping no one was noticing how nervous his voice sounded. And again, Remus wondered why he'd let Tonks talk him into this. He was never drinking wine with her again.

Remus looked back down at the strings of his guitar, trying his best to ignore everyone staring at him. He was thinking of only Severus' eyes. Imagining that they were back on the Astronomy Tower that night, and Remus was wearing Severus' winter robes that he had yet to give back to him. They smelled like him, hanging in Remus' closet. A part of Remus had hoped that if he kept them, Severus would come to his quarters asking for them.

Remus started to play the melody of the music, looking back up and immediately catching Severus' eyes once more.

Then suddenly Remus felt an odd sensation in his head, like something was pushing through. Something warm and calming, and Remus still keeping his steady eye contact with Severus, realized what he was doing. Remus allowed him in.

Don't throw up, you got this. Severus' voice was somehow in Remus' head. Ignore everyone around you and look at me. Tell me your answer.

And in response, Remus remembered all the late nights of trying to write this song, remembering the frustration of feeling so blocked, trying to get what he felt out of his head. The things he wanted to tell Severus. How he was afraid to fall in love again. How broken Remus felt inside. How Remus had to let go of the fear Sirius left him with in order to to be brave and accept the love Severus was willing to give him. And for Severus, Remus was willing to go through it again. To tear down his walls and allow himself to fall so deeply in love, that if there were a possibility of Remus getting hurt again, he would never be the same. And as Remus felt Severus' presence leave his mind, he realized he was no longer afraid to be torn to pieces for love, if only that love was Severus.

And Severus' calm supporting message in his head, was the only thing that took away Remus' stage fright. The feeling of Cornish Pixies in his stomach faded away as Remus did what he was told. Locking his eyes on Severus, pretending they were back on the Astronomy tower that night. And Remus was confiding in Severus everything he meant in this song, with no one else around. Just them in the freezing air, under the starry sky. And Remus hoped Severus was seeing that in his eyes, that he saw it in the lyrics of his song, heard it in his voice, that Remus was choosing Severus. And he was so sorry for making him wait so long.

Sometime during the song, Remus had lost his eye contact with Severus. And as he and Tonks lowered their voices to the last notes, then finally finishing, Remus looked back up as the candles brightened the room once more; only to find that Severus was gone.

Severus! Remus thought as everyone in the room started clapping and cheering. Did my song scare him away?Did he hate it? Why did he leave? I have to find him! I have to know what he thinks about my answer!

"Remus!" Tonks shouted excitedly, pulling Remus into a tight hug. "We did it, we did it! They loved your song!"

Overcome with an urgency to find Severus as soon as possible, it took everything in Remus to remain calm and hug Tonks back, trying to share in her joy, but he couldn't when Severus had suddenly disappeared. The nerves in his stomach that Remus was feeling before the performance were back stronger than ever, making him feel like he was in danger of throwing up again.

"Remus, let's have one more drink! We need to celebrate!"

"No, Tonks, I have to go." Remus hugged her tight, hoping she'll somehow understand as he then stepped away. And at her hurt facial expression, Remus added, "But you were amazing, thank you for your help! I'll owl you, okay!"

"Are you going to find …"

"Remus! My boy!" Slughorn's voice boomed, interrupting Tonks. "And Tonks! Amazing you both were! With voices like that, let me know if you ever want to break into the business. I got a few contacts…"

But Remus didn't stay, he took advantage by Tonks' distraction with Slughorn, and rushed through the crowd towards the door. Fighting his way through hands patting his back and shoulders, trying to pull him into conversation to congratulate him and talk to him about his song, Remus found himself stuck in the middle of the dance floor. With the party guests surrounding Remus, the door suddenly felt very far away. Remus had to find Severus. He couldn't bare another second not knowing what Severus thought of his song, his answer to the ultimatum that kept them at a distance for weeks.

"Ooh look, there are Nargles in that mistletoe!" Luna Lovegood suddenly shouted, pointing over the large mistletoe hanging over the dance floor.

"Oh, I think I see one!" Hermione's outburst distracted the crowd of people Remus was stuck in, causing them to move aside as they looked up.

"Remus!"

Remus felt the familiar weight of the invisibility cloak over him. Harry was standing in front of him, pulling him to the doorway, away from the distracted crowd.

"Harry!" Remus said in relief and gratitude as they stepped out into the empty corridor."I can't thank you enough!" Remus took off the cloak and handed it back to his cub.

"I saw Severus leave just as the song was ending." Harry held up the map, showing Remus the dot that represented Severus. "He's in the courtyard."

"Cub, I bloody love you!" Remus swept Harry up into a hug, practically lifting him off his feet. And the fact that Harry laughed at Remus' sudden show of affection rather than flinching away, made Remus' heart swell.

"Go after my dad, Remus!" Harry said as Remus put him down.

And Remus didn't need anymore encouragement. With his dress robes fanning out behind him, Remus sprinted up the steps, out of the cold and dark dungeons, and towards the courtyard as fast as he could.

It was cold out. Remus could feel it even in his heavy dress robes as he finally arrived to the snow covered courtyard gasping for air; his breath coming out in a fog. There was a stitch in his side, and the old injury in his leg was now throbbing. However, Remus barely felt the pain. And the cold hardly bothered him as he spotted Severus sitting on a bench with the moon casting its silvery light on him, causing Remus' stomach to feel as if it flipped upside down.

For a moment, Remus just stood there. The nervousness he was feeling was now greater than his stage fright. It overshadowed the sudden urgency Remus had felt to get to Severus.

With his back facing Remus, Severus suddenly asked, "Did you run here?" His voice echoed off the stone walls as Remus tried to control his heavy breathing, his heart pumping a mile a minute.

"You left," Remus gasped.

"I had to…" Severus' voice cracked. "Sit down, Lupin, before you pass out."

Leaving footprints in the snow, Remus made his way to the bench and sat next to Severus. Trying not to shiver from the cold, or maybe from sitting so close to him.

"Do you remember the first time we sat here together?" Severus asked, his head was bowed down and slightly turned away. The curtains of Severus' dark hair hid his face.

" I've just woken up in the hospital wing, and I wanted to take a walk. Madame Pomfrey made you take me. I was afraid you'll curse me with that glare of yours," Remus said. He would've laughed about it if he wasn't so nervous.

He remembered that day clearly, as if it were yesterday. Remus remembered thinking how different Severus was from the last time he saw him, before Harry's rescue mission had set out. And Remus remembered the argument they had, how cold and annoyed Severus acted towards him. Remus didn't think they could ever get over their past. Now, here they were, sitting on the same bench, about to talk about a possible relationship starting between them.

"I apologize for being rude that day. I just didn't know how I felt about you. I just saved your life, and it was hard for me to still hate you. It irritated me. I didn't know how to act around you."

"Severus, why did you leave?"

Remus didn't want to reminisce right now. He wanted to talk to Severus about where they stood, what was becoming of their friendship. What Severus thought of his song, his answer to the ultimatum Severus had given him. Remus hesitantly placed his hand on Severus' shoulder, turning the Potions Professor towards him, so Remus could meet Severus' eyes.

And to Remus' surprise, the mask that Severus usually hid behind was gone, showing Remus a most vulnerable side of Severus he had never seen before. Tear tracks stained Severus' cheeks. Remus had never seen him cry before. He rarely showed his emotions around other people. The only ones who Severus would let his guard down for was Remus and Harry, and perhaps Dumbledore.

Remus didn't say anything. He just held Severus' gaze, letting himself get lost in teary, obsidian-black eyes. And Remus felt like he could stare into them forever, he was falling….

He was falling in love with Severus Snape.

"There you are… It's nice to look you in the eye again," Severus said softly, pulling Remus back out of his daze.

"Severus…" Remus softly pleaded.

Was I too late? Does he not feel the same towards me anymore?

"I'm sorry, Remus. I didn't mean to leave. I just didn't want anyone to see me like this."

"I guess my song was that terrible, huh?" Remus joked, only to shake away his fear of Severus possibly rejecting his answer.

"Your song was not at all terrible, it was beautiful. You are an amazing writer, and I can't believe it's for me. I… I apologize for using Legilimency on you. I just needed to know what you were thinking. We've been so distant, and I was caught off guard by your song. I felt your emotions… I've never been seen in that way, Remus. And then this just started happening!" Severus gestured towards his face full of tears.

"Aw, Severus," Remus chuckled, reaching up and wiping Severus' tears away. "It's okay to let people see you cry sometimes."

"Not for me, it isn't," Severus frowned.

Remus then pushed a few strands of his dark hair behind Severus' ear. "So this is the real Severus no one else sees? I think I like him…" Remus said softly, wiping away more of Severus' tears with his sleeve. "Tell me about this mask of yours, why do you wear it? Why can't you let people see that you have emotions just like everyone else; you're not a robot."

"What's a robot?" Severus asked.

"Never mind. Go on, Severus, tell me," Remus said with his breath fogging up. He put his hands back down, and into the warm pockets of his robes.

Severus sighed, his breath coming out in an icy fog as well.

"I wear it because letting others see me like this, so vulnerable, such as crying… I can't risk that. That's why I left. Not because of your song, but because I'm not allowed that privilege with my positions in the war."

Remus nodded, listening as Severus continued.

"I'm supposed to be Severus Snape, the Dark Lord's favorite Death Eater who's heartless, evil, cruel… That won't bat an eye while someone's being tortured. That's the main role I have to keep. The one that's most important for Albus. Then I'm Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore's trusted spy for the Order of the Phoenix. Ironically, the one everyone mistrusts, which makes it more convincing to the Dark Lord that I'm really on his side. To the students of Hogwarts, I'm Professor Snape. The slimy git of a Potions teacher who favors the students of the Death Eaters.

I'm never allowed to be myself because it's dangerous. In order to protect myself from the Dark Lord, I've created my mask to hide everything I feel inside as I act out my most important role, so he wouldn't figure out where my true loyalties lie. And to do that, I have to wear the mask all the time, so I don't ever slip up while in his presence. That's why I can't be vulnerable like this around anyone. It's too dangerous. Only Harry and Albus has seen me cry, has seen the real me, and now you too. You three are the only exception."

Who would've known Severus Snape, the slimy Slytherin who Remus and his friends used to hate, would one day risk so much for the light side of the war. What happened fifteen years ago to make Severus change sides and serve Dumbledore so loyally? It was a huge part of Severus' life that Remus was missing and wanted to know more about. But shall he dare ask something so private? What if he didn't like the answer? What if it made Remus see Severus differently? Like Lily… She tried her best with Severus in the past, to hold on to him, until she was forced to give up on him, losing her best friend to the Dark Arts. Thinking of Lily, Remus realized he already knew the answer. Severus had admitted his greatest mistake back in September, during one of their late evening conversations over tea. Severus blamed himself for the deaths of Lily and James Potter… It was the only thing big enough that might've caused Severus to switch sides.

"Severus, do you mind me asking something very personal? You don't have to answer, I just remember how deep you were in the Dark Arts after we graduated, not even Lily could pull you out. What happened to you as a Death Eater to make you change your loyalty to Dumbledore? Was it your role in the Potter's deaths?"

In the light of the moon, Severus' face paled slightly at the mention of his past mistake, the one that changed Harry's life forever. The one that costed his best friend.

"Yes, Remus, exactly that. I was so foolish. I thought the information I carried would make me stand out, make me powerful. I wasn't thinking that the information I had would change so many lives. I was a stupid kid, so wrapped up in a war I didn't understand. And the second I told the Dark Lord the prophecy, I realized the stupid mistake I did. He was obsessed over the Potters and the Longbottoms. I was afraid for Lily. I went to Dumbledore telling him everything that happened, and what I've done. He vowed to protect them, keep them safe, as long as I stayed loyal to him."

"But Lily died, Albus didn't keep his part of the deal. What made you remain loyal to him?" Remus asked.

"Her son…" Severus said. "I vowed to protect Harry for her. I loved her. And I led her to her death."

And suddenly more tears ran down Severus' cheeks.

"For fifteen years I was okay with masking my emotions. Pretending to be emotionless was better than having to feel the pain and guilt over Lily. Then I took in Harry, and my mask began to crack. Then you shattered it with your song. The next thing I know, I'm crying in front of everyone. That's why I had to go. I couldn't let them see. I'm just like you, Remus. You grew up having to hide your emotions, I had to hide mine for fifteen years. You must understand that it's not easy to show that vulnerable side to others when forced to hide it for so long. I don't even have a choice on the matter."

"Of course I understand, Severus. Better than anyone."

Remus watched as Severus covered his face with his hands, as if that would stop the tears from falling.

"Fuck! Why can't I stop crying!" Severus shouted in frustration.

"It's good for you," Remus smiled at his words, then reached over and pulled Severus close to him. "You've let me cry on you so many times, I've lost count. Come on, Severus, just let it out. No one's around, only me."

Still covering his face, Severus leaned against Remus, who wrapped an arm around Severus' shoulders, pulling him close, holding him as he finally let himself cry. And once Severus was all out of tears, did he sit up, wiping away his tears with his sleeve.

"Do you feel better?" Remus gently asked, rubbing Severus' back a couple of times before pulling away his arm. Returning his hands back inside his warm pockets, trying not to shiver from the frosty air.

Severus nodded. "I'm sorry… Your song just really moved me, Remus… And then telling you about Lily… Can you tell me more about your song?"

"Okay… Do you mind me telling you a bit about me and Sirius first? I know you hated him. I don't blame you, he was a prat to you. You only saw the worst of him, but I once loved him… I saw the best in him."

Severus nodded.

"When Sirius returned from Azkaban, he was a different person. He was a stranger. The only time I would catch a glimpse of the old version of himself was when Harry was around. He drank all the time, causing the most nastiest fights between us. We've both said things to each other so hurtful, and then he would apologize once he was sober. I would forgive him every time, cus I couldn't let him go. I still loved him, after all those years of him being locked up. It was a toxic cycle we were in. It messed me up.

And the night of Harry's rescue mission, after that argument we had in front of everyone, I gave him a choice to stay behind for me and Harry or join the rescue team and it's over between us. He chose to go, so we broke up. Then he died. Sirus died thinking I no longer loved him. And I let him go. It was the hardest thing I had to do to hold Harry back while I watched him fade away into the veil. And the look in his eyes haunted me. I couldn't bare the grief. It was so bad, I spent the days drinking, I was barely sober. I hid in Grimmauld Place, away from everyone, because it was hard for me to control the wolf inside. It was always seen in my face and in my eyes. Then Albus gave me the mission and I accepted it, because I knew there was a high chance of me getting killed. And I took it… I wanted to die, Severus. That's why I distanced myself from Harry, why I just left… I wanted to die…" Remus' voice cracked.

For awhile, Remus didn't say anything more. He couldn't, not when he was reminded of that dark place he was in just months ago, the dark place Sirius left him in. But Remus didn't hate him for it. Not all of it was Sirius' fault, it was Remus' as well. He should've tried harder to get Sirius to stay, he should've tried harder… And suddenly Remus felt Severus gently pulling his hand out of his pocket, entwining his fingers with his own. Remus glanced at Severus who was silently waiting for Remus to continue, his dark eyes solemn at what Remus admitted. And as they sat there in silence, snow began to fall, landing on their shoulders and into their hair.

"Remus, are you okay? Do you still feel like that?" Severus said, breaking the silence.

Remus stared down at their entwined hands.

"No I don't, not anymore…"

"Just promise me if your depression gets really bad to the point where you're back in that dark place, talk to me, okay?"

Remus only nodded, then continued, "Severus, you asked me if I remembered the last time we sat out here together. I remember that day clearly, as if it were just yesterday. We were sitting out here under the sun on this bench. I was so messed up with the memories of my time with Greyback crashing down on me and the wolf was still fighting against me. You were like an anchor holding me down, even though you hated me and I was weary of you. I felt safe with you, I began to see how much you'd changed. I was already drawn to you before I even knew it myself.

There's just something about you since that day. I have built up walls around my heart, around my soul. I was done falling in love. I was broken. Love wasn't an option for me anymore. But you crashed into me and I fought against it. I couldn't let you in and get hurt again, I was afraid. I couldn't bare going down that dark place again, like I did with Sirius. I was already dealing with my guilt and trauma over Kaylie. I didn't want to be suicidal again. I didn't freak out because you told me you were falling in love with me, I freaked out because I was falling for you as well.

I really like you, Severus, I really do… And I'm so sorry for leaving you on that hill, for keeping you waiting. I had to pull myself together, first. I wanted to be sure that this is what I wanted.

My song's about me fighting against my fear of love, taking down my walls for you. Because I can't deny you anymore or the feelings I have for you. I'm bloody afraid, but I'm willing to risk it all again so I can know what it's like to be loved by you. And that's my whole answer on your ultimatum. I am choosing you."

"Remus… Merlin… You're driving me bloody insane, do you know that?," Severus said, letting go of Remus' hand to cup the side of his face, angling himself on the bench to face Remus better. "Thank you for writing that for me. Thank you for opening up to me, I'm sorry you were in such a poor state after Black's death. I understand now why you kept pushing me away, and I'm sorry I was insistent. It's just… I'm enchanted by you, Remus Lupin. I have been for months, ever since I sat on this bench with you…"

"Me, enchanting?" Remus smiled, looking into Severus' eyes, losing himself in the obsidian depths. He leaned closer to Severus so his eyes were the only things Remus could see.

"So where does this leave us?" Remus whispered, his breath fogging up and his heart beating fast. Remus' body was suddenly shaking harder than ever.

For an answer, Severus tilted Remus' chin up, causing the return of the Cornish Pixies to flutter around in Remus' stomach. Remus forgot to breathe as Severus closed the space between them and pressed his lips hard against Remus' own. The tip of Severus' tongue was suddenly pushing against Remus' lips. It was all Remus could do to hold himself up as he invited Severus in, kissing him back, melting into Severus. The scent and taste of Severus Snape consumed him. Red wine from the party. The scents of Wolfsbane and Mandrake leaves. The scent of the shampoo he used that morning, and the scent of frost on his dress robes from the falling snow. A subtle hint of coffee. The salt from his tears. And the only thing Remus could think of as they kissed on that bench, was that everything that had happened between them during the past weeks, all the heartache, uncertainty, and fear, the distance, it was all worth it. For it led to this very moment, to this very kiss.

And they kept kissing, not once letting go. They were suddenly filled with a desperation to just take each other in until they both had to stop, only to breathe. And with their foreheads still pressed together, the warmth of their heavy breaths intermingling as they looked into each other's eyes, Remus knew there was no going back now, for both of them.

"Severus Snape, who knew you were such a romantic," Remus teased, pulling away to reach up and brush the snowflakes out of Severus' hair and shoulders.

Severus reached up and caught Remus' hand, squeezing it gently as he stared at Remus with a sudden pensive expression.

"Remus, you have to know that I'll never hurt you like Black did. And no matter what happens with this war, no matter how bad things may get, just remember that I love you. Don't go back to that dark place. Please, promise me, Remus. Promise you'll understand, you'll be strong when the war gets closer," Severus said so quietly, gripping onto his hand. Remus could hear the desperation for him to understand in Severus' voice.

"Severus…" Remus said, feeling a bit nervous by his foreshadowing words, taking away the giddiness in his stomach from just having made out with him.

"Remus, you know I can't tell you anything. Just remember this moment, okay. That I love you. That I'll never willing hurt you, whatever happens. Just promise…please…" Severus' dark eyes were searching his face, waiting for Remus to answer.

"I promise," Remus whispered, wondering what Severus meant by this, wondering if this had to do with the secret he was hiding deep inside himself. The one that sometimes shown in Severus' eyes when his mask was down and he thought no one was looking at him. The one that caused Severus' smile to sometimes falter. The one Remus had tried to question a few times, but now knew it was useless to try.

It worried Remus, wondering what this might mean for them in the future, but he was willing to take the risk. After all, that was what his song was about. If Remus let himself fall deeply in love, only to get hurt again, he was okay with that. Remus was going to pull through. It would all be worth it. As long as he had the chance to feel this thing between him and Severus. He had no choice anyways, not after that kiss.

And Severus didn't say anymore. He placed his hand on the nape of Remus' neck, pulling him forward to kiss him again. But still lost in his thoughts, Remus pulled away.

"So you love me?" Remus asked, feeling Severus' fingers tangled in his hair, noticing his lips red and swollen from their kissing.

"You don't have to say it back yet, not until you're ready. I won't even say it again until you do," Severus said softly with his eyes on Remus' lips, leaning forward to kiss him. But Remus still had more to say.

"You're right. I'm not ready yet. But I do like you, and I know I'm falling… It's okay to tell me whenever you want. We are boyfriends, aren't we?" Remus said as Severus stared at him with a soft gaze, listening.

"I'm okay with that. I can be patient," Severus replied, leaning forward to nuzzle the side of Remus' neck, planting soft kisses up and down his skin, making Remus' heartbeat speed up. "And yes, you are my boyfriend."

"You know I'm broken, Severus," Remus said, closing his eyes and arching his neck to allow Severus better access, enjoying the feel of his gentle kisses and warm breath against his skin.

"Yes, I'm broken too," Severus muttered back between kisses.

"I'm a werewolf, a dark creature. It wouldn't do to mix with my sort." Remus wrapped his arms around Severus' waist, pulling him closer.

"And I'm a Death Eater, a spy that's too deep into this war. Who knows if I'll make it out alive," Severus muttered back, trailing kisses up Remus' neck, kissing the line of his jaw, and up to his lips.

Remus kissed him back, feeling butterflies fluttering around in his stomach at the taste of Severus in his mouth. And when he could no longer breathe, Remus pulled away again.

"I'm a mess, Severus. I've got grey hair, nightmares every night. Maybe a drinking problem… Are you really sure you want to be with me?"

That question made Severus stop, pulling away from Remus with an exasperated expression.

"Stop trying to give me reasons to fall out of love with you. Especially when you're just telling me reasons why I love you!"

"So you really love me?" Remus smiled. "We really are boyfriends then?"

"Yes! Just shut up and kiss me, Remus!" Severus said in frustration, causing Remus to laugh before finally kissing Severus with no more interruptions.

And suddenly it was just them in the falling snow, with fast beating hearts and butterflies in their stomachs.

"Remus, you're shivering. Let's get you inside," Severus said softly after they finally pulled away from each other.

"I don't think I want this night to end," Remus sighed, standing up and trying not to show his chattering teeth. The snowflakes were starting to come down harder, leaving the courtyard covered in fresh white sparkling snow.

They held each other's hands as they walked slowly back to Remus' quarters. Once they arrived at the portrait door, Severus pulled Remus towards him, embracing him in a hug.

"You look beautiful in your dress robes. I wished I would've danced with you tonight," Severus whispered softly in Remus' ear. His warm breath making Remus shiver.

"Were you watching me the whole night?" Remus asked.

Severus didn't answer. He just held him tighter for a few moments, before letting go.

"Good night, Remus. I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast? Harry will be back in my quarters now that term has ended. Would you like to spend the holidays with us?"

"That sounds lovely. How about we go back to the cabin?"

"Christmas in the log cabin, in the middle of the woods? That sounds perfect. Harry will be excited. I have to catch you up on everything about him."

"Yeah, it's been awhile since we've actually talked. I'm sorry for being so distant."

"Don't be," Severus said, pecking him softly on the lips, then pulling away. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Severus."

And Remus watched his boyfriend walked down the hall, not quite believing how the night turned out.

Review Answers! Next update will be in early August, hopefully sooner.

Imaginer.012: Aww, always my first reviewer! Haha, thank you for your sweet review. I'm really happy you are enjoying my story, and that in a way, it's helping you. I totally understand that!

Guest#1: Awesome a new update at least a week early.

Thanks! Lol I always try my best for you guys!

Ash90: Yes, it's July! (My Bday Month) Haha! And I really tried getting this chapter up as fast as possible, work prevented me from it! =( Thank you for your review! And also thank you for the review you left on Already Home. I'm glad you're enjoying both of my stories. And this chapter probably made you cry more than the other one did. And I'm sorry about your mom, thank you for sharing that with me. I don't have a good relationship with my parents either.

Guest#2: Poor Severus now he has to worry about Draco self destructing.

I know! Poor Severus! Draco is way too stubborn to accept his help! Thanks for your comment =)

Guest#3: I love it when you put the title of your chapter in the chapter itself.

It's funny cus I didn't realize I was doing that until I read your comment, I like that I do that too haha. Thank you for your kind comment!

Guest#4 I can't wait for Severus to hear Remus play his song. I hope it will be a turning point for both of them in a positive direction. No doubt that Severus's reaction will be spectacular.

I really liked your comment, and I hope I didn't disappoint you with this chapter =)

Guest#5: Poor Severus. So many responsibilities, so many people to look after, and so many problems to deal with.

Thank you for leaving a comment! And yeah, poor Severus, he's only human. And all that stress may cause him to break, that's why I wrote that little crying session in this chapter.