Derek Vs. Kate!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but what you see here. This features a more humorous version of Derek and Kate's reunion in chapter 5 of my story 'Altered Life' and was awesomely inspired by my good friend TweakerWolf!

Summary: Derek's not quite all that willing to let Kate inside his Loft!


When Derek Hale had first heard the knocks on his door, he was a little surprised since everybody he knew usually just came right on in. Something that sometimes annoyed him but as Cora pointed out that it wasn't like he ever had any kind of special company over! Which always left him in a funk after she had made that remark. Never helped any if his mom happened to hear that and started talking about setting him up with Satomi Ito's Beta Carrie Hudson. Something he always put his foot down on as her blondeness reminded him a little too much of another blonde for his liking! And as he neared the door, he took a sniff to see who it might be on the otherside and it made his eyes widen in surprise as he knew that scent anywhere! He stood there in shock until more knocking on the door knocked Derek out of his stupor. "Derek!? Are you in there!?"

He quickly made the decision that he was in fact, not home! And even told her so in what he thought sounded like an older woman speaking in Spanish. "Aww damn, really!?"

"Si Senorita, Senor Hale off visiting his mother."

"Oh really? Like right now?"

"Si Senorita."

"Huh, that's… That's awfully funny cause I just came from the Hales and Momma Tal just told me her baby boy's at home. Even hugged me and said she was grateful I'm back again as she was quite worried about her broody son!"

Damnit mom! How could you!?

As seriously, was it too hard to be loyal to your second born!? This woman broke his yong teenaged heart for crying out loud! Wonder if Uncle Doug's lawyer skills can help build a case against that woman who calls herself my mother. Wondered the man grumpily.

"Well I'm sorry to say miss, but Senor Hale is no here." Informed the man and wincing when he realized he'd used his actual voice!

Kate smiled widely on the otherside. "Is that so? I can't imagine that sweet… Hunky… Adonis letting some man be here with his maid all alone."

Eyes went wide over the description she'd given him and he heavily considered sliding the door open until he stopped himself. NO! Its what the She-Devil wants! Must be strong!

"Oh, Senor Hale okay with it Senorita. I am Miguel, husband to Rosalinda the maid."

Derek then had to quietly mouth the word 'Miguel' to himself as he wasn't quite sure where that even came from to begin with! A chuckle could be heard from the otherside. "Oh ho ho… Derek… Baby? Just let me in. Please!? I've really missed you!"

"Derek can't come to the door right now, please try again later."

"And why can't Derek can't come to the door right now?"

"Cause… Derek is underneath his bed. Brooding and praying he'll be left alone by the blonde who broke his teenaged heart into thousands of tiny itty bitty little pieces."

Chuckles were heard after that even if Kate was shaking her head and rolling her eyes in exasperation over how ridiculous the man was being. "Aww, but now I can make it up to you sweetheart! I mean… Don't you want that? It could be lots of fun! And besides… Don't you want someone like me under that bed with you? Or well, JUST me actually under it? We could have soooo much fun!"

Derek swallowed nervously as he grabbed the hand that was moving of its own free will towards the door handle to slide it open and fought with it to keep it from doing the very bad thing! "I… I hate fun. I uhh… I like sewing stuff, in the dark. Cause its not fun."

He is so ridiculous and yet I find it freakin' adorable!

God help her with this man! Kate then let out a defeated sigh that she knew he could hear. "Aww… Well if you really want me too. I'll leave. But I'll be leaving with a broken heart sweetie."

"I'm… I'm sure you'll be just… Fine. Yeah, just fine. Might be able to find a new guy to make it all better at a bar. Or one of those Hunters your brother has." Responded Derek as he tried to force himself away from the door!

Move away from the door! Not towards it! Damnit body!

Kate let out a sigh as she rolled her eyes again. "Okay babe, I'll try again later okay?"

"Senor Hale no be here later. He with Senorita Hale for rest of today." Responded the older sounding woman again.

"Right, I gotcha." Kate replied with a grin and walked off with a plan in mind as Momma Tal had told her that Derek would probably be somewhat difficult!

Hah, try A LOT of difficult. But I can handle that.

Once Derek heard the fading footsteps of one Kate Argent, he let out a happy cheer as he fist pumped the air. He then walked over to his stereo, opened the cd tray, and looked at the cd inside it. "You my old friend… Are the only one who truly cares for me." Muttered the man as he pushed the tray inside and soon the music of Barney the Purple Dinosaur could be heard.

Making for the lone man to close his eyes as the beautiful music washed over his soul. So lost would Derek become in the music of Barney that he would fail to notice Kate's return with some very handy equipment that she quickly put to use! Equipment that would freeze the door so well that it easily allowed her to do one thing. And when she did it, Derek would turn to the sound of the noise with a look of horror on his face. And the sight of a widely grinning Kate Argent sticking half her body through his ruined door terrified him greatly! "Hiya Der! Its Kaaaaaate!" Greeted the woman cheerfully.

Derek did the only thing he could do in a situation like this. He screamed like he was a highly terrified 11 year old girl much to the vast amusement of a grinning Kate.


Author's Notes: Heh, that was fun to write and I hope it got folks laughing! And terribly sorry about the lack of updates for WP as I've been rather focused lately on 'Altered Life'. Which… You guys could probably easily see that o.0. Anyways! Til next time!