Hi all! The idea for this fanfic came in a moment of insomnia, thinking 'bout Raven. I like her. She's witty, uncaring, and magical. I have this odd fixation with magic. I wonder why? Here's a hint: I'm pagan! That might explain some things! Nya.
On with the show of showy ness!
Robin was in his room, at some ungodly hour, finally deciding to stop searching for the recently reappeared Slade and sleep. Just as he flicked his light off, a shadow appeared on the wall.
"Are you decent?" Raven's voice came from the shadow. Robin sighed, got out of bed, and flicked the light on again.
"Yeah. Why?"
Raven stepped into the light, and looked at Robin with eyes that sobered him up. "I can't stay here."
"What! Why not?" Robin's mind searched frantically for some reason that might explain it.
"You know very well why. Slade returned. The last time he was here, it was to remind me of my father. Now, he's back, and gathering civilian followers. He's restarting the cult that summoned my father in the first place. The time for my prophecy to come true is at hand. I must try to dam this flow of events. I can't have any emotions. I've been lenient these last few years, allowing myself to care for you guys. But if I stay here, I will bring doom to the Titans before they can save the world. If I seem to love anyone, they'll be killed first."
"You can't leave now. You've no place to go!"
"No, I won't leave today. I'm packing tomorrow, then disappearing into the city."
Robin grasped at straws in his mind, thinking of any way to stop this girl from leaving the Tower. At last he came upon one she couldn't resist. She had to listen.
"You keep the Titans together," Robin whispered.
Raven put her hand on her old friend's shoulder. "No I don't. You do."
Robin looked up at her, with some emotion in his eyes that Raven couldn't identify. "You hold me together."
Raven's eyes welled up with tears. "And it'll be me who tears you apart. I can't stay. If I do, I'll get us all killed. I can't live if I'm responsible. I can't live without you guys."
"Then why leave?"
"Do you think I want to?" Raven's body now shook with suppressed sobs. A lamp that was nearby exploded. And eerie wind passed through the wind, destroying all it touched. But the pair weren't affected. "I can't live without you. But if I'm by you guys, I'll bring you doom, and then I'll really be alone. If I leave, I'll still have you guys. I might not be in the same building as you, but I'll still be here.
"And I'll visit. Maybe not the next day. Maybe not the next month. But I'll never leave you guys completely. The city will still be protected. I'll go alone, saving half of the city while you guys take the other half."
Robin couldn't reply. To reply, he would need a head. But his head was out of order from shock. And his heart couldn't take his head's place. It was shattered into a million pieces, and might never heal.
Raven saw this. It tore her heart. But it would hurt her more if she caused any physical damage to the Titans. Psychological damage was inevitable, and could be healed when danger was gone.
But the danger might never go.
"Don't worry," Raven said, a tear sliding down her cheek. "It's not like I'm going now. We still have a few days." Raven stepped back into the darkness, ignoring the lone figure staring at her reproachfully.
And hour later, two people sat up at night, both thinking the same thing. Most of the thoughts were of self-pity and remorse, along with a dash of guilt. But the one line of thought that plagued them was simple. What had Robin meant when he said Raven held him together?
Could it be…? No. Never. Not me. That can't happen.
But Maybe…NO!
Robin thought the answer first. She does. She's the only pillar of support I have when I go into my obsessive trances. She keeps the Titans from fighting. She's the only one who understands the value of privacy when it comes to personal lives. She realizes that the dark isn't scary. Without her, I'd implode from responsibility.
"Good morning, Raven! How was it that you slept?" Starfire said as soon as Raven opened the door.
Raven's usual inch long patience was gone. "I did not sleep. Now go away. I need to rest."
"Oh?" said Starfire, instantly worried. "Why is it that you did not get rest?" A loud crash came from Raven's room. "And why is it that your powers are not under control? What has happened that troubled you and your emotions?"
Raven growled. "I am fine. I need sleep. I had a nightmare. Goodbye, Starfire," Raven said, close to shouting. As she slammed her door closed, she saw that she had attracted the attention of the male Titans, and that most interested was Robin.
Raven fell onto her bed, head in her hands, yelling in her head. 'Why am I so stupid? I can't be mad at Star if I'm leaving soon. She'd never forgive herself.'
Raven's mind went around in circles, re thinking her decision, but still came to the same conclusion. Eventually, she did get some sleep. Only an hour, but an hour of sleep was enough to get by.
Raven left her room at noon. No one was outside her room, thankfully. She walked into the living room, touching the walls, rubbing the sofa, petting the TV. ("Dude, what're you doing? I can't see!") The Titans didn't notice it that much. Raven was odd. She could even be kooky at times. So this wasn't that different. Raven tried to sit, enjoy the company of her friends, but she couldn't. She couldn't concentrate on her books, she couldn't cook with Starfire, she couldn't button mash with Beast Boy and Cyborg, and there was no way she could do anything with Robin. So she ended up heading to her room to pack.
When dinner was called, Raven came out of her room again. She had been meditating for a few hours, and so her legs were cramped as she stumbled into the kitchen.
"I have made the Gloonpa Jornki Dinner of Friends and Togetherness!" Starfire announced happily. Raven was the only one who partook with much vigor. Even though Raven's mouth protested, she ate on, smiling at every little squabble, the look on Cyborg's face, and the lame jokes of Beast Boy. This was home. Nothing like it. Just home.
No, Raven thought. This can't be home. I must detach myself from the world, so that Trigon can't come back. I must sacrifice myself for the rest of the world. For the Titans. For Robin…
Robin was silent throughout the whole dinner. He was still figuring out what to do on his last days with Raven. He was also still figuring out how he felt, about Raven's leaving, about Slade's return and its correlation to Raven's prophecy, and about Raven in general. The thought of her sent some electric feeling through his body. He dismissed that thought. She was going to hurt him by leaving. This was no time to consider the weight of their relationship.
Robin's thoughts ebbed to a stop as the night wore on. But they came roaring back when Raven stood in front of the TV, saying, "I need to tell you guys something."
Sensing trouble, the Titans sat on the couch, looking at Raven.
"I—" Raven was having trouble speaking. Her hood was up, hiding the fact that she was crying. "I need to leave here."
"What? Rae, you can't leave. We need you. You're a valuable part of the Titans" Cyborg said.
"You're just saying that," Raven said, a smile in her voice, "And I thank you for it. But if I stay here, I'll bring back my father, and you will die before you can stop him. And if you do survive his summoning, then he'll use you guys as leverage to control me. I don't want you guys in that position."
"Rae, if you leave, then how will you bring Terra back?" Beast Boy said, his voice wavering.
"Don't think that if I leave I'll abandon my work. I'll still be scouring my tomes for information on how to restore Terra. And I'll fight crime from there. It's not that I don't love you guys, it's just that if I'm near you, you'll get killed. You guys are my family. I wouldn't leave you if it weren't for your own good. But if you stay around me, you'll die. If you'll excuse me, the matter is no longer up for discussion. I'm going to bed." Raven floated away, things shattering from tangible grief, and not just Raven's.
"You can not leave! I will not allow it! If anything is to happen to you, than I will fight by you and stop it!" Starfire said, getting up, and grabbing Raven's shoulder.
"You don't understand! It's not as if this is just some vacation for me! I don't want to leave! But if I don't leave, it's not as if some minor villain will come to kill us, a full fledged demon will come to kill you and take your souls as ransom! I don't want you hurt! As much as it hurts me, I shall go to the ends of the earth to protect you! Even if it means actually going there!" Raven ran off to her room.
Robin ran behind her, to stop her from doing what she must do. He opened her door to find her room bare, her window open, and her curtains fluttering in the wind. Robin collapsed. He couldn't sob. He had cried himself out the night before. He just sat in the door of Raven's room, his mind going in circles, and going nowhere. His shattered heart had seemed to mend for the instant it took to destroy it again. The world had just ended. His world had just ended.
Starfire gently grasped Robin's hand. He looked up, tears clouding his mask. She helped him up. When he finally sprung to a standing position, their faces were inches apart. That might have been why Starfire did what she knew she couldn't do. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing his face down to hers until their faces touched.
Robin didn't know why he did what he did next. He slithered his arms around her waist, bringing her body closer to his as he pressed his tongue against her lips until they parted, and they stopped kissing as friends, and started kissing passionately.
Raven felt different as she flew away from her old life, towards a new one, one that guaranteed loneliness. She felt more independent, but that was expected. What wasn't expected was the feeling of naughtiness, guilt, and pleasure. She realized what it was. It was Robin. Their bond had strengthened over the years. And now, she felt what he was feeling. And he was kissing Starfire. Depression cloaked Raven as she saw the implications. Robin's actions ruined any hope she had of… What? She asked herself.
Still, a single tear fell into the wind as Raven felt the strange sensation of her clothes being stripped off of her, while her uniform still stayed on.
