A/N: Sorry for the delay the past few weeks have been exhausting. Thanks to Sheri and all that she does I'm very grateful for her! I'm estimating about 5-8 chapters and this story will be complete. Thanks for reading and your wonderful reviews!
Chapter 33
It Gets Better
BELLA POV
I pushed off the wall of the pool as I turned around to swim to the shallow end. I had been running a few laps this morning and was in competition with myself to beat my time. I was in the indoor pool of course since it was heated. It was March so it was brisk outside but not exactly warm enough for the outside pool weather.
I quickly hit the wall again and this time turned my body towards the deep end. I had been slowly getting better and I was proud of myself. I had kept busy of course. In a few days, I would start working at the Foundation.
I was actually going to go shopping today to buy some "Work Clothes" because my wardrobe was seriously lacking in the professional department. I had asked Rose if she could come down and we could make a day out of it, but she informed me that she had to go to Forks to see her egg donor. Apparently, her mother wasn't doing too well in the rehab place.
She had been there since after Christmas following her overdose. Since I still needed some clothes, I was still going today. Then I asked Edward if he would go with me, but he said he had to work today. It was Saturday so it kinda made me mad.
I had kept quiet about him working late recently, especially since he pretty much had been home with me during my time. It was just last week that I had a nightmare and woke him up. Since then, he had hardly been home. I knew something was going on, but I wasn't privy to details. Edward would still answer my calls and texts, not that I really did that much while he was working. I was just tired of waking up to my husband passed out in his office or on the couch in our room.
I woke up this morning to find him curled up on the floor and left him there as I made my way to the pool. He told me he didn't want to disturb me while I was asleep but honestly, I didn't sleep well without him. I hated admitting that, but it was the truth. My head sometimes thought of him cheating but I quickly shrugged that aside. He wasn't, Bella, he's just busy.
I hated my head sometimes, especially the mind games it would play with me. "You lost the baby. You're not worthy of him. He's probably cheating and that's why he is working so late." I quickly shook my head. Edward may not have been physically here much, but he did let me know there was some work shit going on and he had to handle it. I had to quit thinking bad of him for being away.
I turned to head back to the shallow end but this time I went to swim underwater. I had almost reached the end when my lungs burned for air. Quickly rising to the surface, I wiped my eyes and was met by a nice pair of leather shoes. I quickly looked up and saw my husband staring down at me. He was dressed in a nice suit, his hair sticking up every each way but damn he looked like sex on legs.
He stared down at me and I saw him look at my cleavage for a brief moment. The "girls" looked nice in this one-piece suit, and I'll admit it turned me on when he looked at me like that. My period had come and gone last week, and I felt like I was ready to begin that part of our relationship again. Honestly, I missed him so much.
"Hey," he said, never taking his eyes off of me.
"Hi," I said back.
"I made breakfast and it's ready. I need to talk to you," he said as he went to grab my towel that I had left lying on the chair. I climbed up the ladder out of the pool.
Edward then brought the towel towards me and wrapped it around me kissing my head in the process. He stepped back as I dried off. "I set up breakfast in the sunroom." The sunroom was my favorite room in the house. Why set it up there? I'll never know unless he was trying to butter me up before giving me bad news. After drying off the excess water, I wrapped the towel around me and headed into the sunroom that was directly beside the pool. Edward pulled out my chair for me and I sat down. There on the table was toast, eggs and grits. A cup of juice was sitting at my place. Ms. Cope didn't come on Saturdays so this was definitely the work of Edward.
We dug in. I was wondering when he was going to start talking but he paid attention to his food. I stopped eating about half-way as my stomach did not want anymore. When Edward was about finished, he looked up at me and then looked back down. What was happening? What was going on? Should I be concerned?
"Just tell me," I said, hating the silence. He looked at me before sliding the purple envelope towards me. "What's this?" I questioned but he remained silent as he sipped his coffee.
It was an invitation to Bree Masen's baby shower.
"Oh." As the queen of the families, I was expected to be there. Bree was also a good friend. She had sent some gifts down when she heard I was expecting. Then she sent some flowers after I miscarried. I also talked to her sometimes, but not lately. I had been trying to stay busy, so I hadn't checked in a while.
"Sean called me when it was sent, said they would understand you not being there. I've just been waiting on it to get here," Edward softly spoke.
"Why wouldn't I be there?" I questioned him.
"Bella, I don't want you to have to mess up your progress. It probably won't help seeing all the clothes, Bree being pregnant, all of that shit," he said as he stabbed his fork in the eggs.
Once upon a time, Edward was all about respect. I knew that me not going as the wife of the leader of the families was disrespectful. No matter what kind of shit I had been through lately unless it had just happened but time had passed.
"I'm expected to be there, so I'll be there." I sipped my juice and met Edward's eyes from across the table. I'm pretty sure I would be fine; I've made some progress.
Edward sighed. "You don't have to go, fuck that. No one will say a word if you don't go," he mumbled out. However, they would see that it would be a huge hit on respect especially since Sean and Edward were friends.
"Edward, I'll be okay." Ignoring everything he just said, I didn't want to get into all of that. I did smile a bit though. When I first met Edward, it was all about respect. Now he thought about others before he became Head of the Families. It made me smile thinking I was the reason for the change. Honestly, I was just proud of his progress.
"So, there's something else I need to speak with you about," he said. He sure was nervous now?
"What happened?" My heart dropped a bit, Edward was rarely nervous.
"It's about your new guard," he said, giving me a small smile. "Look." He then turned serious. "He's proved himself with me, you know him, so you probably feel comfortable with him unless you're still mad at him. James has to get back to his duties," Edward mumbled all of that out quickly.
"Seth?" I asked, and honestly, I wasn't mad at Seth anymore. I hadn't been in a while. I understood why he did what he did now.
"Yeah." Edward pulled his hair, but I guess I had been quiet too long and he took that as a no from me. "Fuck it, I'll find someone else." He went to pull his phone out and I quickly grabbed his hand.
"No! It's fine." I felt that jolt I usually did when we touched. He must have felt it too because the look in his eyes when he looked at me had my body tingling. I let go of his hand wishing he would just take me already.
"I'm-mm going to call Seth," Edward said as he grabbed his plate and mine from the table. I just sat there in shock. Why didn't he want to take things further? He wanted me to heal but honestly, I felt I was ready to dive back into our physical relationship.
I stood up. The towel was still tight around me as I made my way through the house. I bypassed the kitchen and made my way into the foyer to head for the stairs. Once I was in my bedroom, I pulled out the outfit I was going to wear today.
Heading into the bathroom, I started the water and began to pull the towel and bathing suit from my body. My body was cold from the wet suit, and I shivered with the chill in the air. Stepping into the shower, the warm water instantly heated me.
After washing my hair and body, I turned the water off. Drying off and wrapping a towel around me and using the other to wrap my hair in I left the bathroom. I took the towel from my body and put on a bra and panties.
"Bella!" I heard Edward's voice from the hall.
"Yeah?" I shouted back taking the towel from my hair and using it to get the excess water out. I didn't hear anything after I shouted maybe because I didn't hear Edward come in the room. Glancing up, I saw him staring at me. It didn't escape my notice that his eyes raked my body over. Lustfully.
Good thing I had a bra on, or he would definitely know how they suddenly turned hard at the sight of him. Maybe he already knew. He was way too observant about those things.
"Edward?" I tried to get his attention. "Edward." He was in a daze.
"What?" He snapped out of wherever he was.
"You called me?" I said as I walked over to the bed to pick up my pants.
Edward quickly walked to the bed, grabbing the pants out of my hands and threw them on the bed. We stared at each other, as he grabbed me and held me in his arms. I went to kiss him, but he held me back. I tried to bury the hurt that suddenly popped up on my face, but it was too late, he saw it.
"Bella," he said in a soft voice. I quit looking at him and turned my gaze to the wall. I tried to get out of his arms, but he held me close.
"I've got to get ready," I said in a croaky voice. Edward then grabbed my face softly and made me look at him.
"I don't want you to think I don't want you. Believe me, I do so much. I just think it's too soon," he said and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry for grabbing your pants like that, I don't know what came over me."
"You act like I was raped," I muttered and he loosened his hold on me. I took the opportunity to move away from him and grab my jeans.
His face was stoic now, his expression didn't give anything away. "If I hadn't got there in time, you would have been!" His voice full of anger. Then he looked at me with regret. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."
"No, it's true," I said as I slipped my pants on. "The fact is, I wasn't and I'm very grateful for you making it in time, but I miss you."
"I'm right here Bella," he said with determination.
I gazed up at him, "you know what I mean."
He sighed, and I pulled the cute blouse over my head. "I don't want you to have a flashback. I don't want you to see his face on mine," he admitted with a grimace.
Oh God, did he really think that would happen? Could it happen? Yes, it could but I didn't think it would. I mean how would I know?
"Edward…" I trailed off, and he walked to the other side of the room.
I don't think either of us knew what to say to the other. All I knew was that I miss him. I'm ready to engage in that part of our relationship again.
"Can we try?" I whispered out afraid of his answer. I saw him look at me then the wall. It seemed like time passed slowly. I wanted to go to him, be in his arms but right now wasn't the time.
Edward seemed to be having a war within himself, his eyes looked troubled, and he was debating.
"We can try," he slowly said, sounding unsure.
My smile went so big that I ran into his arms. YES! Another step towards normalcy.
"No, no." He let out a playful laugh. "Not right now. I got some shit to do, and you are going shopping."
I could care less about going shopping if it meant I was going to finally ride my husband's big cock. I pouted and walked towards the bathroom, and I heard Edward chuckle.
"Soon, Bella," he said with desire as he met me in the bathroom. He leaned down and gave me a deep kiss.
After he pulled away, I swooned. "Seth's downstairs. I love you and I'll see you later." He kissed me on the forehead and moved away from the bathroom
"Love you too," I said as he blew me a kiss and shut the bedroom door.
I quickly straightened my hair and put on some light make-up. I dabbed a bit of perfume on my neck and turned the light off in the bathroom. Entering my bedroom, I quickly made work of putting on my Converses. Sitting on my bed ready to go, I was faced with a dilemma. I really didn't want to go shopping by myself. I mean I was used to it, but I really didn't want to be left with my thoughts.
Picking up my cellphone, I dialed the number I hadn't used in a while. It rang twice before I heard the bell like voice of my sister-in-law.
"Bella?" she said sounding surprised
"Hey Alice! How are you?" I was terrible at conversation, and I didn't know why I was so nervous.
"I'm good. Everything alright?"
"Things are fine. I was wondering if you wanted to meet me at Pacific Place. I need some new clothes," I asked all excited and even I was confused by my behavior.
"Of course, Bella, I can!" I heard her shuffling in the background. "I can be there in 20!" she said all excited.
"Sounds good." I was already ready so all that was left to do was drive into the city.
Leaving my bedroom, I made my way downstairs where Seth was standing in the foyer near the doors. Hearing me on the steps he turned around and gave me a smile. "Hey," his deep but rough voice said.
"Hi," I replied as I reached the bottom step. Looking at Seth, his eyes looked tired, and he looked like he lost some weight as well. He wasn't the only one although I was slowly gaining mine back.
"You ready?" he asked as he pulled out his phone.
"Yep!" I said, maybe with too much excitement.
We made our way to the garage to my silver Lexus. I told Seth he could drive as I put on my sunglasses. We pulled out of the garage and headed for the gate. Pulling onto the road, I noticed I didn't feel any anxiety. It made me smile.
"So, how have you been?" I asked, the silence was starting to bother me.
"I'm good, Bella, how about you?"
"Eh, I'm getting there. How is Leah?" It was probably the wrong question because his face fell.
"She's…," he huffed out a breath. "She's not good," he huffed quietly as he let it out. "Mom had to check her into a facility. We couldn't take care of her on our own."
"Oh no," I said. "no one told me. I'm so sorry, Seth."
"I wanted to tell you. Edward had hired a nurse to help but Leah attacked her after they told her about her issue."
I turned in my seat to look at him, he kept his eyes on the road. "What issue?" No one had really told me about Leah. Granted, I haven't exactly been aware. I also smiled at Edward getting them a nurse especially with dealing with me and our loss.
"That night," Seth trailed off, making a quick glance at me before returning his eyes to the road. I nodded; I knew what night he meant. "That night when she came too, well she lost it." I nodded again. I knew she had lost it on James before… . I closed my eyes trying not to cry.
"Well, Emmett let us use his apartment and Leah started bleeding." I gasped "oh no don't tell me."
"No, it wasn't that Bella" he huffed. "I shouldn't even be saying this especially to you."
"I asked," I whispered. "Tell me, I'm alright."
"Dr. Stevens couldn't stop the bleeding, so we had to rush her to her private clinic. She had to take Leah's uterus." Seth let out a gasp as I started crying. "He-he." Seth banged his fist on the steering wheel. "He destroyed her."
"I'm sorry," I cried! Black destroyed all he touched. Poor Leah. This was so fucked up.
Seth then remained silent as he drove down the highway. I was at a loss for words; the motherfucker was dead and yet he was still causing problems with everyone.
"That's not even the worst of it," Seth said as the mall came into view, and he headed for the parking deck. "She tried to leave." I quickly looked at Seth as he pulled a parking ticket out of the machine.
"What? I thought you said she wanted him, so she stayed." He had found a parking spot and pulled in.
"No, I was so wrong. So very wrong." His head hit the steering wheel and I'm sure I heard a sob. I heard him take deep breaths before he lifted his head off the wheel. "At first, she did stay but Leah managed to tell my mom and I when she was docile that she tried to leave." My hand went over my mouth again in shock.
"What? She did?"
"Jacob told Leah I was his prisoner. Apparently, he had someone pretend to be me," Seth croaked out. "He played her, he played me."
I remember not too long-ago Seth and I talking at Carmen's that he left La Push to protect Leah but Leah had gone to Jacob anyway. This whole time, he thought Leah was there by choice.
"You can't feel guilty Seth, you didn't know." At the end of it all, Seth thought she was still there by choice.
"I know, but it doesn't help, B." I nodded. I understood where he was coming from. We all made choices and we had to live with the consequences. Most of the time it sucks and sometimes it doesn't. We just have to figure out which category we fall in.
I could sit here and blame myself for the baby. I mean I do but honestly what if I hadn't asked Zafrina to go to the store? Would I have made it home that night? They were following me anyway. Did I buy myself time going to the store? I want to say yes. Would Leah still be alive if Jacob hadn't gotten me? Probably not. It was just a bunch of what ifs, and we couldn't change the past.
"I need to be on point now, I'm guarding you," Seth said, and I smirked.
"Yeah, you are," I said as I climbed out of the car.
***BID****
Finding Alice in this place was easy. All I had to do was look for her bodyguard. He towered over her but as soon as we made it through the crowd, I saw her sitting on a bench with a coffee in her hand. I tried not to moan knowing Alice would soon be wired.
"Bella!" she shouted even though I was almost to her.
"Alice!" I said as I gave her a hug. It was a bit awkward to say the least, but she was smiling.
"So, where do you want to start? You're in charge," she said with a happy smile.
"Well, I need a few outfits, something professional to wear. Maybe a nice pantsuit, dress pants? Then we can get lunch after?" I muttered out, and Alice gave me a beaming smile!
'Of course. Do you want to start at Nordstrom? There's also Von Maur. Both places have a bunch of professional attire."
"Let's try both," I said with excitement, ready to move on. Alice linked her arm in mine, and we made our way to the stores with our bodyguards behind us.
EDWARD POV
I was currently at Midnight Sun going over the books. Not that I didn't trust Victoria but just trying to keep up with a sense of normalcy. I had been at Cullen Enterprises lately still trying to find who was stealing from me.
I had a meeting set with John who was supposed to set a meeting with Heidi Starr the CEO of Cadmus. I was tired of waiting; someone was stealing from me, and I bet my savings it was that bitch, or someone connected to her. Jasper, who had been doing his very best would find the account kept shutting down, but new ones would pop up. I hadn't closed it yet because I was trying to smoke out who it was, but my patience was wearing thin.
My phone beeped with a message from Jasper that he was on his way. I guess he had found something so hopefully I can put an end to this soon. I hated working on Saturdays let alone the weekend, but I was meeting with The Denali Family. They had some issues with a number of shipments and needed my help.
Eleazar, whom I heard through James, was running his mouth about me not being involved in the family. Apparently, me taking time off for Bella showed weakness which was rich coming from Eleazar. He must still be salty about Tanya. However, I wouldn't take this disregard lightly. His daughter fucked up and he needed to man up and quit being a bitch about it.
I closed the book in front of me, it was all up to date and handed it to James who had been sitting quietly in the corner. James put it up when there was a knock on the door. I motioned to James to answer it and pulling it open revealed Garrett and Charles, the underboss and consigliere, of the Denali Family.
I was quite irritated that Eleazar hadn't shown up. To my knowledge he was the one that wanted this meeting. Garrett and Charles shook my hand and then James. We all sat down, and I tried to bury the irritation down.
"So," I said, looking between both men. "What can I help you gentlemen with?" I swear if this is bullshit and got me out on a fucking Saturday, I would go abso-fuckin-lutely crazy on their asses.
"I'm having some issues at one of the ports in Miami. There's been some drugs mixed in with my shipment of guns," Garrett said.
I looked at him in confusion. "Excuse me if I'm wrong but doesn't the Denali Family dip into the drug trade?" It's something I've tried to keep my distance from. However, Miami is a host to many narcotics especially cocaine. It's a very lucrative business, one that would make you rich and put an even huger target on your back.
"Just cocaine, not the shit we are finding," Garrett said angrily. "Some of our men were arrested at the port and they're still in custody."
I jumped out of my chair, James shaking his head. He knew I was going to be mad hearing that shit. "Why am I just now finding out about this?"
'We've been trying to handle it on our own, but I think I need help from the Cullen Family now," Garrett answered. "It's every shipment it seems, either I got a rat, or someone is intercepting the shipment and putting the drugs in there."
I was silent, pissed and about to explode.
"What other drugs are found? I mean cocaine is a pretty hefty fine anyways," James said.
"Meth, prescription drugs, you name it," Garrett huffed. "There in plain sight waiting to be found. Not hidden like the guns and cocaine is."
"Did the feds find the guns or cocaine?" I asked, trying to calm my nerves. "Or the planted drugs?"
"Just the planted drugs. Whoever did it, stole all the cocaine and left a few guns, the feds may have found one."
That was fucking it.
"Where the fuck is Eleazar? Why are you handling this, and he isn't? Why am I now just being informed about this shit?" I yelled. Thank God for a soundproof office because I was fucking angry.
"He's in Miami, currently handling the situation. He left me in charge," Garrett said calmly, and I nodded. "We need eyes though, maybe some more men? Just to keep watch while we see who is messing with our shipments?"
I would have to think about it, the whole thing screamed shady to me. Then again, The Denali Family has been loyal to us for years. We go away way back, but all this seemed shady.
"I'll let you know. Tell Eleazar I need him to call me." Garrett stood along with Charles who gave me a look. Now, that had me raise my eyebrows. That was very unusual to say the least. I never heard about any problems with Charles nor heard of anyone having beef so why did I get the sudden feeling something was up?
I've been wary of Eleazar's family since the day Bella was taken. Call me paranoid but I get called to a sit down about his daughters and my wife gets taken? I didn't have any proof yet, but my gut was telling me something was up. I really hoped the Denali Family wasn't involved in her disappearance because all hell would break loose.
After they left my office, James looked at me. "I saw it too." He was referring to Charles. "I'm going to look into him," James said.
I nodded, something seemed odd about him today. "What do you think about the situation in Miami?" I asked him.
James hesitated but then pinned me with a look. "It doesn't feel right. Feels like a trap, but then again, The Denali Family has always been loyal."
I nodded, "I need to think about all this." James nodded. There was so much going on it seemed, and it felt like nothing was being resolved. My business was being stolen from and I was no closer to finding out who it was. I had my suspicions but still hadn't resolved it. There was trouble brewing in this life but there was always something it seemed.
My private one was unexplainable. My wife seemed better, for which I was glad, but she wasn't 100% and I felt it was my job to get her there. Bella's wanting to resume our physical relationship though? I was still on edge about that. I really didn't want her to have any setbacks.
"Where's Emmett?" James asked as he poured himself another drink.
I tried not to grin. I had sent Emmett to Forks to see if he could dig up any information on the mechanic Paul McCormick. I knew it was probably fruitless since Paul hadn't been seen in years and no trace of him had been found since. My guess? He is either dead or using another identity.
However, I also learned that the blonde was going to Forks today. I had learned from Bella who seemed disappointed Rose couldn't come with her today, but Em had also brought it up. Emmett told me they had started talking again but not to say anything because everything was up in the air. Apparently, things were going to be slow this time. I was happy for him and all but when the time comes and their standstill on kids comes up again, I'm not going to tell him I told you so.
I had a feeling Emmett and Rose would resume their relationship again after that night at my house. Emmett had been a moody fucker since they broke up but seeing them together that night had me thinking. I also felt the blonde needed protection going to Forks. I didn't know if Black had any remaining men left or anyone loyal that may hurt Rosalie for her connection to Bella. Plus, I owed the blonde so yeah, I was okay with Emmett being in Forks right now and not here.
"Forks," I answered James and told him about the mechanic. James wasn't aware of the blonde situation, so I kept mum on that. We then chatted until there was a knock on my door this time it was Jasper.
His eyes looked determined as he sat down his computer and made his way to my bar. "What the fuck now?" I seriously don't think I'd be surprised if there was something else that happened.
"I found an account however it was shut down before I could find the source," Jasper said as he gulped down his drink and went to make another.
"Motherfucking shit!" I growled out. This was getting annoying. "I'm shutting down the account." I was tired of leaving it open hoping we could catch who was stealing.
"I was going to suggest that but since you didn't let me finish… ," Jasper trailed off, smirking at me.
"Speak, motherfucka!" I wasn't in the mood to play games right now.
"I didn't find the source but I did find a connection with an IP address I was using before I lost the connection," Jasper said. "It's from your finance department at Cullen Enterprises."
"Fuck me," I looked at him "We screened everyone, their computers, phones, everyone!" I yelled.
"It's possible they could have found another way, but I have a plan," Jasper said.
I made a face. "What?"
"Open a new account, only the fiscal officer should know. Maybe this will help bring out the rat and we can go from there."
I was hesitant because closing the one account that was open meant they won. It also meant that it was possible I lost the connection to who was stealing from me. Then on the other hand if I truly had a rat at my work, it could lead me too much more.
"Let's close it now, then this week we'll see who's desperate." I needed to know, I needed to find out who the fuck this was!
"Will do, let's go," Jasper said as I grabbed my keys and James followed me out of the office.
****BID*****
Alice and I were being led to a booth after going through three high end stores. So far, I had gotten many pantsuits, dresses, dress pants, high heels, flats, leggings, you name it. We decided to take a break to eat, and she suggested the restaurant Calliope's. She said it had every type of food you could think of, so I was sold.
After ordering drinks and our dishes, it became a little tense. We didn't have any distractions to busy ourselves with. Unless we used our phones, but I always hated being at a restaurant and people were on their phones. I glanced around and saw Seth and Peter at a nearby table where they chatted, but you could tell they were still guarded.
"Bella?" Alice said from my side, and I quickly gave her my attention. She smiled back at me, but I could tell the smile didn't reach her eyes.
"Yes, Alice?" I gave her a smile.
"I need to apologize for my behavior." She started but I shook my head.
"Alice, you have already done that." I firmly stated. She did. I just didn't see a reason why she would do it again.
"No, I need to apologize for my thoughts." I looked at her in confusion but nodded. "I-I was jealous. Edward was right, I really was, and it took me a moment to understand that. But then, from my point of view it was like this new girl was getting everything that meant something to me without even trying," she admitted sheepishly.
I sipped my drink watching her. "Then when I heard you had been taken, it was scary, Bella. It's never happened before; a family member being taken. Well, not since I've been alive." She gulped her drink down and I peeked at Peter in the corner of my eye giving her a look.
"It was worse though, the boss' wife and child taken? We didn't know it was Black until afterwards. It didn't matter though he committed the greatest sin," she said randomly. I really didn't know why she was talking about this in such a public place, and I didn't know if I could handle hearing about it.
"I must apologize. I felt like it was my fault this happened," Alice said, finally getting to the point.
"Why Alice?" What the fuck was she talking about!
She started crying and I really didn't understand why she was freaking out like this. "I was so jealous of you. Seeing you in the doctor's office with something I had been wanting forever! Well, I felt like I had been punched in the gut." Her tears were falling freely now, and I tried to calm her down.
"It's in the past, Alice," I grinned, really wanting her to chill.
"No, because that day I screamed at myself hating that you were perfect at getting everything. I just wished something bad would have happened to you just once. I didn't think that losing the baby would be the thing!"
I gasped at Alice's words, earning a look from Seth who jumped up to find out what was going on. I waved him off. I was fine. I just didn't see why she would say what she said.
"I didn't mean it, Bella, I really didn't. I was just insanely jealous of you. Then I found out you had already had bad things happen to you with Black and your father. Edward was probably the first good you had, and I never saw that." She finished wiping her eyes. "I mean I knew something was going on, you even mentioned there was trouble with a past boyfriend." She muttered, "my brother was being overprotective."
I didn't know how to process everything that had just been said. Alice wanted me to lose the baby? No, she wanted something to happen to me because she wasn't pregnant. She was a spoiled immature brat, that had everything handed to her.
"Wow, Alice, I don't know what to say." I really didn't. I didn't think lashing out would do anything. Then on the other hand, have I not had a bad thought or two of seeing another pregnant woman today and hating that wasn't me? I never wanted anything to happen to them, but didn't I curse not being them? It's not the same. Alice admitted her thoughts and she wanted something bad to happen. I just wished I could be them. "So, you thought telling me would clear your conscience?"
Alice's face gaped like a fish, "Bella…," She nodded just as the waitress brought our food. I dug in not really knowing what to say.
Alice had taken a couple of bites of her food while stealing glances at me. I just couldn't believe the words that came out of her mouth. I could relate but I never wanted anything bad to happen to anyone.
I didn't really want to talk about the subject anymore, it was still a sore subject, and I wasn't ready yet to talk about it and especially not to Alice who didn't know what it was like to lose a child!
"Bella," Alice said in a quiet voice
"Alice," I interrupted her. "I can't do this now. A lot of bad things happened to me, yes, most of them wasn't my fault but bad things happen to people all the time. To hear your sister-in-law, say that she wished bad on you well it's going to take a minute to wrap my head around that."
"I didn't mean it like that, Bella. I was angry," Alice sniffed but I held up my hand.
"You said it though. I mean there's no real way around that." I started to eat fast wanting to leave. I came to the mall and accomplished what I set out to do. I had tons of clothes now.
I clanked the fork on my plate and put down a hundred-dollar bill. It was more than the meal and left the waitress a tip.
"Thanks for coming out, Alice, I will see you in Chicago," I said as I rose out of the booth, we were in.
"You're coming to Chicago?" Alice shrieked.
"I'm Queen of the Families, Edward's wife, and Bree's friend why would I not?" I asked with an eyebrow raised as I saw Seth get up again and make his way towards me.
Alice smiled proudly, "you're right, you are." I waved at Peter, and we made our way out.
****BID***
I had quickly washed the clothes that I could and loaded them in the dryer or hung them up to air dry. Seth was in the living room watching TV when I told him I was heading to shower. I was really excited about tonight. Edward said we could try. I was going to wear the most comfortable but sexy alluring lingerie I had. I was going to pull out all the stops tonight.
I had texted Edward asking when he was going to be home but had yet to receive a reply. It was frustrating, he had been very busy lately that I hardly was able to talk to him. Again, like I said he was here with me during my time, but it didn't mean I wasn't frustrated at the situation. My phone beeped while I was putting lotion on my legs.
"Will be late. Don't wait up." The text said. Disappointment set in so quickly that I yanked the pretty lingerie off my body. I don't know why I was so frustrated, maybe because I was ready for this part of my life to begin again.
I didn't bother texting back; it was fucking Saturday and he was doing this shit. Why was I mad? I slipped on a night shirt and some shorts and headed downstairs to the bar.
Seth must have heard me because he walked into the kitchen area while I was making myself a drink.
I glanced at him. "Want one?" I asked as I gulped down the glass. Seth shook his head. "Well, I'm having one," I said with an amused expression.
"Bells," he started, and I shook my head. I didn't need anyone telling me what I was doing right now was wrong. I just wanted to fucking drink and forget about today.
"What's wrong, Bells?" Seth asked, this time taking a careful approach.
"Everything," I said. My shoulders dropped because it all hit me so quickly. Everything. I was tired, just tired of being tired. I was tired of trying, I was tired of it all. I just wanted something to bring me back to myself. I just wanted some type of intimacy with my husband. Distracting myself wasn't working like I thought, talking wasn't working, not even being excited about the upcoming foundation running had me excited now.
Seth didn't say anything. He knew what I'd been through, and he gave me a sympathetic smile.
"Don't do that. Don't give me sympathy," I said angrily.
"Bells," Seth softly said but I could tell in his eyes he wasn't going to stop me from drinking. He should but I was a grown adult. Seth knew more than anyone just how much Jacob had destroyed everything.
I gulped one more glass down this time feeling more relaxed. I made myself another glass to take upstairs. I knew if I kept going Seth may end up like James did that one night. James denied it when I saw him, but I knew Edward broke his nose.
"Good night, Seth," I said as I closed up the bar and headed towards the stairs.
"Night, Bells," Seth quietly spoke. My heart hurt at the hint of sadness in his voice. I turned around before taking a step on the stairs.
"None of it is your fault, Seth," I hesitated. "None of it." Seth's eyes rose and then he nodded. I tried not to cry as I walked up the stairs. Jacob had hurt so many people.
Going into my bedroom, I gulped the last glass down before sitting it down by my bedside. I felt at ease now and relaxed. Turning on the TV I looked for something to watch as my eyes drooped, and I fell asleep.
****BID******
I could feel the heat against my face as I opened my eyes. The sun shone brightly from the window, and I let out a moan as I tried to sit up. My head throbbed but I didn't feel sick or anything.
"Here." A glass of clear liquid that looked like water was shoved in my face.
The voice was beside me on the bed and I knew who it was by the hand holding out the glass with the wedding ring.
I rose up more, propped up by the pillow on my side as I grabbed the glass. Then a pill was handed to me.
"For your head," he said as he went back to looking at whatever was on his phone.
I put the pill in my mouth and then gulped it down with some water. "How did you know?" I asked, which was a stupid question because I bet Seth told him I had been drinking.
He looked at me then, gazing at my face before nodding his head to my bedside. Ahh of course, the glass from last night.
"I could also smell it on your breath this morning when I got home," he said without even looking at me.
"This morning?" I looked out the door of the balcony and instantly regretted my decision. It was freaking bright outside. What did he mean by morning?
"I got home about 2 am, you were passed out," he said as he finally sat his phone down and looked at me.
"On a Saturday," I muttered, feeling my anger from last night come out.
I heard Edward's breathing hitch, but he didn't reply.
"Ugh!" I said as I threw back the covers and tried to get up from the bed. Once I was on my feet, I felt dizzy. "Whoa!" I said as I felt myself lose balance and then I felt strong arms catch me before I did.
"Careful now," he said, and I tried to pull away from him but he held me in his grip.
"Let go," I said softly. He did. He let me go suddenly as I headed towards the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I could hear him sighing through the closed bedroom door. I went to scrub my face in the sink before using the bathroom. Why did he get home so late? On a fucking Saturday of all days? Once I was done, I washed my hands and headed for the bedroom door. I needed to know why he was home so late.
He wasn't in the bedroom when I entered it. Damn, where did he go? I left the bedroom and headed for the stairs. I could smell the faint odour of something being cooked so I headed for the kitchen.
Edward was shirtless at the stove when I made my way in. I stopped walking to just look at him. His sweatpants hung low on his hips as he moved something on the stove. He turned around and gave me a look. How did he know I was behind him? What am I talking about? He always knew.
"I made toast," he said as he turned back towards the stove. I slowly made my way in the kitchen and sat down. Edward then moved the pan and turned the stove off.
He remained quiet as he headed towards the fridge. "Why did you get in so late last night?" I blurted out, getting sick of it being quiet.
Edward glanced at me as he got the juice out of the fridge and brought it to the table.
"I was working late," he muttered as he brought a mug of coffee to the table for himself.
"Where's mine?" I said sounding like a spoiled brat.
"You wanted coffee?" Edward said but didn't comment, he just went to get another mug as he made me a cup.
"So, why did you work late?" I asked again, hoping he would give me details.
"I found out who was stealing from me," he said in a calm voice, as he brought the plate of toast and the coffee to me.
Once he sat down across from me, I realized my eyes hadn't quit bugging out from his revelation. "Who?" I asked and he gave me a look.
"A woman from my finance department. She hasn't been there long. It was obvious it was her after finding out some more information." He sipped his coffee not acting like a care in the world.
"Is she?" I asked and he knew what I meant. I wanted to know if she was dead or not.
"No," he said as he bit off another piece of toast. "I'm still trying to find out some shit but at least I know where it was coming from. Or not. I'm pretty sure someone blackmailed her into doing it. There's no way she could pull the offshore accounts by herself," Edward said, and I don't think I was meant to hear that.
My anger faded some knowing he was actually working and not trying to avoid me. I took a sip of my coffee and looked at him again. This time he was staring at me intently.
"What happened with Alice?" he asked, really focused on my face. How did he know something happened with Alice?
As if he was reading my mind, "Seth texted me and said you were drinking, that you seemed like you had a bad day."
Seth told him, great. I thought he was my friend, but I had to know he worked for Edward now, he was loyal to him.
"Seemed?" I questioned. Did Seth not tell him? I mean he probably didn't hear Alice and my conversation since he was sitting out of ear shot.
"Yes. He said, at lunch it seemed like your whole mood had deflated. He didn't tell me what happened," Edward finished "I'm also glad you didn't get carried away this time," he said referring to the drinking.
He had me speechless. He was glad I didn't get carried away. What a hypocrite! I hardly even drank but he could do cocaine. Granted, the last time I knew he did that was on Halloween.
"Seriously? I can't drink now?" I said as Edward gave me a look before trying to grab my hand that was on the table.
"That's not what I meant!" He missed of course and I folded my hand in my lap. "Ah, you're mad at me," he said as his shoulders slumped in defeat.
"Well, you're half right." Edward looked puzzled but then gave me a look
"I take it, Emmett is probably the only Cullen sibling you're not angry at?" Edward asked his food forgotten. "What the fuck did Alice do?"
"She said something. She was trying to clear some shit up, but it just made it worse. I really rather not repeat it," I told him not wanting to hear a screaming match between him and Alice. I knew him too well that he would call her in an instant.
"If you won't tell me she will," he said, and I shook my head.
"Can you please not do that?" I asked him, now that it was a new day, some of what Alice said I could sympathize with. A new chick entering her world and turning it upside down was a lot. However, I still wasn't cool with the comment she made.
Looking back to Edward, he was searching my eyes before he nodded. Another reason I didn't want Edward to call her was because they still weren't cool with each other. They were civil but it wasn't like before. Telling Edward about yesterday would just make it worse and besides I was a fucking adult, I could handle this shit on my own.
"Can we talk about why you're mad at me?" He pushed as he sipped his coffee.
Was I mad now? Granted, I was last night but I may have jumped the gun a bit.
"I'm not mad. I think I'm just disappointed and maybe I overreacted," I confessed as I ate a bite of my toast.
"What's wrong?" he asked
"Um," I went red. Why was this embarrassing? I was his wife who has seen him naked plenty of times.
"I may have been ready to try again and was waiting for you to get home when I received your text," I rushed out looking down.
"Try?" he asked confused and then it hit him. "Oh," he said, and I just wanted the floor to swallow me whole. "Bella…," he trailed off
"My insecurities got the better of me." He knew what I meant by that. The thoughts of him cheating and everything else.
"Really?" Now he was mad. "Do I have to prove to you again that it is unnecessary?"
"Yes, prove it to me," I said hoping it was going to finally happen.
"I-" Edward began, then my shoulders dropped this time. He rose from the table and came around and grabbed me kissing me on the lips.
I really thought it was finally going to happen. I really did until he pulled us apart and rested his forehead against mine. "Baby, I'm sorry. I meant soon, not last night. I still got some stuff to work through," Edward said and that caught me off guard. Was he lying because I could clearly feel how ready he was for me through his sweatpants.
"Work through?" I asked not feeling sad now but shame because I didn't realize he was going through something
"I mean, it's just crazy right now, and I don't want your first time since everything to be horrible. I'm just exhausted with stuff, and I want to make sure I have enough energy and time to make it memorable for you."
I didn't know whether to cry or smile but I was glad he was being vulnerable with me even though I just wanted us to reconnect. The other part of me though seemed on edge that stuff had taken over his life.
"I love you," he said as he kissed me again. He was so close that I opened my eyes this time and met his. I saw his expression change to one of worry and I kissed him back.
"I love you."
Thank you for reading.
