CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I laid across my hotel room bed, just staring at the small screen of my cell phone. I had sent John about fifty messages since yesterday morning and he hadn't replied to any of them. I'd even tried to go and see him yesterday evening, but he wouldn't answer the door. He wouldn't even hear me out. I sighed loudly and stood up, glancing over at the clock on my bedside table, which read 9:45pm. I flipped my cell phone shut and tossed it down on to the bed. I'd had enough of sitting around, waiting for him to call. I'd said I was sorry, what more did he want? For me to go to him on my knees and beg forgiveness? If he wasn't willing to even talk to me about it and help me through it, then maybe he was right. Maybe we shouldn't be together.

I made my way in to the bathroom and started the shower running. I sighed and undid my robe, slidding it off and stepping under the warm water, letting it run over my body, relaxing my tense muscles. I tried to clear my mind, but thoughts of John forced there way in to my head. I wondered what he was doing. Was he thinking about me? I hated the thought that he was still mad at me. I didn't want him to be angry. I just wished he was with me, then and there. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him how sorry I was. That I wasn't ashamed to be with him. That I wanted to be with him.

Maybe I should go and see him again? I thought to myself. I let out a frustrated groan and slammed my fist in to the nearest wall. This whole situation was starting to get to me. Half of me was frustrated with myself for acting the way I did and giving John the impression that I was ashamed of him, and the other half of me was frustrated with John for ignoring me and not even making the effort to let me explain. Why was I torturing myself like this? If John didn't want to talk to me or see me, then there wasn't much that I could do about it. I'd tried to apologize about a thousand times, what else could I do if he didn't want to listen?

I reached out and pulled my robe off of the hook that it was hanging on. I yanked it on as I stepped out of the shower, grabbing a hand towel and running it over my wet hair as I walked back in to the bedroom. I tossed the small towel on a nearby chair and collapsed down on my back on to the bed. I just stared up at the ceiling for a little while, before closing my eyes and covering my face with my hands.

Since yesterday morning, I'd been trying to figure out why I hadn't wanted anyone to see me with John. I didn't understand what my problem was. It was frustrating me to think that this was driving a wedge between me and John and I didn't even know what it was. I didn't know how I was going to get passed it if I had no clue what was going on. I just wished that things between John and I would work out. I loved him, I really did, and I couldn't lose him now. I was missing him. I needed him to help me through whatever crisis I was having, but that seemed impossible when he wouldn't see me or even speak to me.

I sighed and sat up, reaching over for my cell phone. I looked at it for a minute before scrolling through my speed dial numbers and hitting the call button when I came to John's name. I held the phone to my ear and listened as it began to ring.

"Please, John, pick up the phone." I mumbled to myself. "Please."

It rang for a long time before John's voicemail message started to play. I sighed as I heard the beep.

"John, it's Rebekah. Please...just call me when you get this. Even if you want to yell at me, I don't care, just please call. I'm worried about you. Please, John. I love you." I said before hanging up and closing my eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling. I looked back down at my phone and started to dial another number.

"Hello?" a deep male voice greeted from the other end of the phone.

"Hey, Randy." I smiled, breathing a sigh of relief, just glad to hear a friendly voice.

"Becka?" Randy questionned, sounding concerned. "Is everything okay?"

I sighed. "Not really."

"What's up?"

I explained the whole situation to Randy. He seemed to be so good at having a solution to all of my problems, maybe he could figure out this one as well.

"Woah, that's rough." Randy said after I had explained everything to him.

"I know." I said, running my free hand through my hair. "What's wrong with me, Randy? I finally fall in love with this incredible guy, who genuinely loves me back, and I find a way to mess it up."

"You don't mean to. It's not purposely your fault. I think you're just too worried about what people are going to think." Randy said. "Not everyone's like your parents, Beck. People aren't going to care if you and John are together, they're gonna be happy if anything. And so what if they do care? You love John, right?"

"Of course I do."

"Then that's all that matters." Randy said. "You and John. Nobody else. If John makes you happy, then stop worrying so much and just be with him, and everyone else can just deal with it."

I laughed slightly. "Why do you always have an answer for everything?"

Randy chuckled. "What can I say? I'm just that good."

I laughed louder. "Sure you are, Randy." I rolled my eyes.

I heard Randy chuckle again. "Do you want me to call John? Just so that you know he's okay?"

"No." I said, shaking my head. "That's okay, I think I'm gonna go and see him myself. It's time we talked about this. Heck, I'll set up camp outside his room if that's what it takes to get him to see me."

Randy laughed. "I've got a tent you can borrow."

"Shut up." I said, rolling my eyes. "I'll talk to you later, yeah?"

"Alright, see ya, Beck."

"See ya."

About a half an hour later, I was dressed and ready to go and see John. I was tired of this. I was determined to get him to talk to me. We needed to get this sorted out and move on. I grabbed my key and shoved it in to my jeans pocket as I walked out of the front door and headed for the stairs.

I ran up the stairs as fast as I could, not wanting to waste any time waiting for the elevator. I got the John's floor and stopped at the stairway door for a second. I took a deep breath. I wasn't sure how John was going to react to seeing me. I knew he was still going to be pretty mad, but I hoped that he would also be happy that I wanted to work passed this and be with him properly. I shook my head clear and pushed the door open slightly. I was about to walk through when I suddenly froze at what I saw. I closed the door a little and peered through the small opening. I felt my heart stop as I saw a tall, brunette woman talking with John outside his hotel room. John was leaned against the door frame, hands in his pockets. The woman laughed at something John said, before John stepped aside and gestured for her to enter his room. I felt my blood begin to boil as I saw the door close behind them. I let the door swing closed and walked over to sit down on the stairs. It couldn't be what it looked like, it just couldn't. John wasn't like that. He loved me, he wouldn't do that to me...he wouldn't hurt me like that. What other explanation could there be though? I thought that she could just be a friend, but then looked down at my watch and saw that it was almost 11pm. What friend drops by to see someone at 11pm? I let my head fall in to my hands, as the tears started to run down my cheeks.

"He wouldn't." I sobbed to myself.

Hee hee! Now that's what I call a cliffhanger! lol. Hope y'all enjoyed that chapter and keep a look out for chapter fourteen! R&R please!