Forgiveness & Friendship

Haley sat down backstage of Peyton's club called "PS". She thought it was a good name. Even when she married Lucas, they would still be her initials. Haley wondered if Peyton took that into account when she was naming the club. Though, Haley had no idea if the club was named before or after Lucas and Peyton had gotten engaged. Neither of them had actually told her about their engagement. She had seen the ring on Peyton's finger and made her own assumption.

And you called these people your friends, that voice she hated told her. She mentally told it to shut up and, typically, it wouldn't listen. You can't shut me up, Haley. If you can hear me, it means that some part of you wants to, the voice said. Haley shook her head in defiance. She decided to just ignore it. You think you can ignore me? I'm part of you. So if you ignore me, you're ignoring yourself, it said. Haley rolled her eyes. She didn't need a lecture right now from a voice inside her head. We have these inner conversations daily, Hales. You should be used to the sound of your own voice by now. It's all you ever hear these days. You're all alone, it reminded her. Haley tried to think of all her friends and was surprised when she could only come up with Trey. Your ex-boyfriend does not count. The only reason he's talking to you is because he's as lonely as you are. For the moment, at least, it told her. Haley nodded. For all she knew that date could've turned out perfectly and Trey and that girl could be riding off into the sunset, metaphorically speaking. Then there was a knock on the door and Lucas poked his head in.

"Peyton's not here," she snapped. Lucas looked hurt but then shrugged it off.

"I'm here to see you, actually," he said. Haley looked at him in surprise.

"Why, do you have another smart-ass remark to say and then you're going to leave before I have a chance to respond?" Haley asked.

"Wow. You're certainly not holding back tonight," he commented.

"Sorry. It's just my nerves," she said.

"Craig told me you've been performing almost every night since after the tour. You've got a job playing clubs, don't you?" he said.

"I'll always be nervous before I perform. I've come to accept that. Besides, those clubs are not like this one. A former friend doesn't own them and they don't have my ex-husband in the audience either. Or other former friends, for that matter," she said, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Former friend, huh? Is that what I am to you?" he asked, sitting down next to her on the couch.

"Well, at least you're not my bitter enemy. With the way you've been acting towards me, you'd think I was yours," she said.

"I'm sorry, Hales," he said. Haley looked at him in disbelief.

"You're sorry?" she repeated as if she hadn't heard him correctly. He nodded. Then, she laughed. "For what, Lucas? There's a pretty long list, don't you think?" she asked. He laughed.

"That's the first thing you've said where you sound like you. I knew you were in there somewhere," he said, smirking. Haley looked at him mockingly.

"In there'?" she repeated. He nodded. "This is me, Lucas. And if you have a problem with that, then I suggest you turn around and go back to your fiancée," she said. He stiffened and looked at her in disbelief.

"You know about Peyton and me?" he asked. Haley looked at him in shock.

"Of course I do. I saw the ring on her finger. I'm not stupid," she said.

Lucas smirked as he said, "I didn't mean it like that. It's just that we haven't officially announced our engagement yet. Only Nathan noticed the ring. Brooke has yet to," he said. Haley shrugged. "I also heard that you have two albums out," he said. Haley nodded.

"I sent the first one to you. When I never heard back from you, I assumed you either didn't touch the mail or threw it out," she said.

"I'm sorry about that," Lucas said.

"Why are you apologizing to me now?" she asked. He looked at her, clearly not getting what she meant. "Not even ten hours ago, you were telling me off. Now you're apologizing to me. I don't get it," she said.

"You were right. I was out of line. What happened was between you and Nathan and I think it should stay that way. I was the one who was a bad friend," he said.

"Gee, you think?" she retorted and then smiled. He smiled back and then he put his arm around her and she let him pull her to him in a friendly hug.

"It's good to have you back, Hales," he said when he let her go. Haley smirked as she started strumming her guitar.

"Well, don't get too used to me. I'm going back to Washington after the wedding," she said. He looked down.

"Seriously?" he asked. Haley nodded.

"Invite me to your wedding and you'll see me again," she said. He laughed.

"Consider your name at the top of the list," he said. She nodded. "Right after Nathan," he said, looking at her.

Haley frowned at him. Right away, he smiled. He was testing to see what her reaction would be. Clearly, she still cared about Nathan. The wheels in his head started turning. If Haley still had feelings for Nathan, then she most likely would help him if she saw how much he needed it.

"Drop it," she said. He nodded and hugged her.

"I've got to go see Peyton. I'll see you," he said.

"Or maybe you won't," she said. He looked at her. "I might chicken out," she joked, smirking.

"Like at TRIC?" he asked. Haley threw a cushion of the couch at him.

"I did not chicken out at TRIC. I performed, didn't I?" she said.

"But Peyton said it was only because she was in a jam after Chris walked off stage," he said. "See you later, Haley," he said, as he walked out the door. He went quickly to find Peyton and Brooke and dragged them into Peyton's office.

"Lucas, what is the big mystery?" Brooke asked impatiently.

"I think Nathan still cares about Haley," he said. Brooke and Peyton laughed. He looked at them in confusion.

"Anyone who's paying the slightest bit of attention knows that, Luke. What's your point?" Peyton asked. Lucas smirked.

"I think Haley still cares about Nathan too," he said.

"So?" Brooke asked.

"So, I think she's the only one who'll be able to help him," Lucas explained.

"Okay, slow down, Lucas. You know that Nathan doesn't want us meddling in his life. He's said over and over that he's fine with the way his life has turned out," Peyton said.

"And maybe if he says it a thousand times, he'll convince himself that it's true, but I can see right through that," Lucas said.

"Okay, clearly, you don't have a problem with overstepping your bounds, but there's another thing you have yet to consider," Brooke said.

"Such as?" Lucas asked.

"Neither Haley or Nathan are saying much of anything to the other. What makes you think you can get them in a room long enough for Haley to talk to Nathan to realize that he's not doing so well?" Peyton said.

"I'll leave that up to you," Lucas said.

"Me?" Peyton repeated.

"You have made it perfectly clear that you consider yourself the brains of the relationship. So, I'll let you figure that part out," he said.

"What makes you think I want any part in your little plan?" Peyton asked, smiling.

"Because you care about Nathan like I do. And you want him to admit that he's not happy. Now, it's pretty obvious that Haley's going to be the one person who can do that once she realizes that Nathan's not happy and that she's not happy either," Lucas said.

"I don't know if I can talk to Haley," Peyton said.

"Nathan's right about one thing: we don't have the right to punish Haley for him. Haley never did anything to us. We're the ones who never kept in touch with her," he said. Brooke nodded in understanding.

"We phased her out," Brooke admitted. Lucas nodded.

"Exactly. She tried to let us know what was going on with her for a while, but we shut her out. I don't know about you two, but I didn't even open her letters," he said.

"I threw them away," Brooke admitted. Lucas looked at Peyton.

"I burned them," she admitted.

"Burned them?" he asked.

"It was around the time that Jake left, ok? I wasn't in a good place," Peyton said. Lucas nodded. Peyton sighed as she walked into the room. She could hear Haley playing on the piano and singing quietly. Peyton couldn't make out the words, though. "Sounds like you could use more volume," she commented. Haley turned around.

"It's called warming up," Haley replied flatly.

"Ok," she muttered. "So, um, what are you going to sing?" Peyton asked.

"Songs," Haley replied. Peyton laughed.

"I meant what kind of songs? Songs written by other people?" Peyton asked.

"I'll do a few covers if that's what you're asking, but some songs will be ones that I composed," Haley replied. Peyton chuckled. Haley turned around from the piano. Her eyes were narrowed. "What the heck is so funny about that?" she asked angrily. Peyton smiled.

"It's just weird to hear you say 'covers' and 'composed'," Peyton said. Haley looked at her in confusion. "You sound so professional, like you're an actual artist," Peyton said. Right away, Peyton knew it came out wrong.

"I am an artist, Peyton. At least the kind of art that involves music. And I have been doing this for quite some time," Haley said.

"I know that, Haley. I'm just trying to compliment you," she said. Haley looked at her incredulously.

"That's your idea of a compliment?" Haley asked. Peyton shook her head.

"It sounded so much better in my head," Peyton said.

"Maybe you need to get your head examined," Haley suggested.

"Whoa. Retract the claws, Haley," Peyton said.

"And if I don't? What are you going to do, fire me? You're not even paying me and it's not like you have a lot of options," Haley asked in amusement.

"I'm trying to apologize here, Haley, and you're not making it easy," Peyton said.

"Why should I make it easy? You certainly haven't made things any easier for me since I got back," Haley replied.

"I know and I'm sorry for that," she said.

"Lucas didn't just tell you to apologize to me by any chance, did he?" she asked. Peyton shook her head.

"Why would you ask me that?" Peyton asked, offended.

"What am I supposed to believe, that it's just one of those days?" Haley asked. Peyton shrugged.

"I guess," she said. Haley looked at her carefully.

"If you guys are up to something, I'm going to figure it out eventually," she warned.

"I'm not up to anything, Haley. I'm just trying to right a wrong," Peyton said.

"If you say so," Haley said, though her voice dripped with suspicion.

"I do. Now I'm really sorry for everything I did to you since you came back and for ignoring you when you tried to stay in touch back then," she said. Haley nodded. Peyton looked at her.

"If you're expecting an apology from me, you're not getting one. I don't owe you any explanations," she said. Peyton nodded.

"I don't want an apology. I just want a second chance," Peyton said.

"For what?" she asked.

"Being your friend," Peyton replied. Haley smiled and nodded.

AN HOUR LATER

Nathan walked into PS and sat at a table. His brother and Peyton smirked at him and walked over. "Hey, Nate!" Brooke exclaimed as she and Craig came over too. They sat down at the table that he found. It conveniently had six chairs.

"Everyone this is…, um," he started.

"Emily Smith," the girl beside him said.

"We met this morning," he said.

"Last night, Nathan. We woke up together this morning," she said, laughing.

"Oh, right, of course," he said. He froze when he saw Haley approaching them. She smiled at them all. "Oh, Emily, this is Haley James. She's someone I knew in high school. Haley, this is my date, Emily Smith," he said. Haley shook Emily's hand and smiled. He could tell that seeing Emily had fazed her because she stopped for a minute.

"Haley's also singing here tonight," Peyton added.

"Oh, you're a singer? That's amazing. Wish I could sing," Emily said. Haley nodded.

"Thanks. Um, Peyton, I need to talk to you about the, uh… Um, the sound system," Haley said.

"Is everything ok?" Peyton asked.

"Oh, don't worry. It's just something I need to talk to you about," Haley assured her. Peyton sighed with relief as she got up and walked with Haley.

Haley led the way backstage. She stopped in front of the controls for the speakers that were off to the side behind the stage. "Haley?" Peyton asked, waving her hand in front of her face.

"Sorry. Um, I just wanted to make sure you knew about this. Um, this is a dangerous level to have the speaker volume at. You don't want to cause hearing damage, do you?" Haley asked. Peyton shook her head and then eyed her for a second.

"Haley, why didn't you talk to Mouth about this? He's the DJ and the stage manager," she said.

"He is? Oh. I didn't know that. I'm sorry," she said. Peyton put her hand on Haley's shoulder.

"Are you ok?" she asked. Haley looked really rattled.

"I'm fine. Its just nerves," Haley said. Peyton nodded. "I get jittery as hell the closer the time to sing comes. I'll be fine," she said brokenly.

"Ok, if you're sure you're alright. Um, maybe you'll want to have a glass of water," Peyton said. Haley grabbed the 710 mL bottle of water that she had placed on a table near the speakers.

"Way ahead of you," she said. Peyton laughed.

"You'll do fine, Haley. I listened to your two albums a few hours ago. They're really good. Craig has a few of them on hand in case anyone wants them after," Peyton said.

"I know. I'm the one who gave them to him. That's what I always do: Give out free albums after I perform," she replied brokenly.

"That's not a bad idea," Peyton said. She said a quick goodbye to Haley and wished her good luck and then went back to the table.

"Is everything ok?" Lucas asked when she sat down. Peyton smiled.

"I've got to tell you: She really knows her stuff now," Peyton commented.

"It's probably not my place, but she seemed kind of jumpy," Emily said. Peyton laughed.

"Haley always gets nervous," Craig said. Emily nodded. Peyton whispered to Lucas.

"I don't think it's her performance that has her so rattled," she said. He looked at her. Peyton motioned to Nathan and Emily. Nathan had his arm around Emily and was laughing at a joke she had just made. Lucas nodded.

"I told you," he said back.

"It's not funny, Lucas. She looked really hurt," Peyton said, glaring at him.

"Who was hurt?" Nathan asked.

"I was. When I fell out of my chair yesterday," Peyton said quickly. Nathan nodded in confusion.

"Ok," he said.

TEN MINUTES LATER

Nathan stretched out and took his arm back. Emily pouted but he just shook his head. Peyton was up on the stage. "Hi, everyone, I'm Peyton Sawyer, the owner and manager of PS. How's everyone doing?" she called out. Everyone screamed in response. They all said different words, so it was hard to make out. "Are you ready for some live music?" she called out. Everyone screamed again. "Okay. It's my pleasure to introduce to you Tree Hill's own, a double platinum artist from her two albums, straight from her new home in Olympia, Washington, Haley James!" A lot of people cheered for Haley. Nathan did as well. Haley took the stage and sat at the piano. She didn't introduce any of the songs she was singing or anything. She just started playing a semi familiar tune on the piano. Then she started to sing:

You don't remember me, but I

Remember you

I lie awake and try so hard

Not to think of you

But who can decide what they dream?

And dream, I do

I believe in you

I'll give up everything

Just to find you

I have to be with you

To live, to breathe

You're taking over me

Have you forgotten all I know and all we have?

You saw me mourning my love for you

And touched my hand

I knew you loved me then

I believe in you

I'll give up everything

Just to find you

I have to be with you

To live, to breathe

You're taking over me

I look in the mirror and see your face

If I look deep enough

So many things inside that just like you

Are taking over

I believe in you

I'll give up everything

Just to find you

I have to be with you

To live, to breathe

You're taking over me

I believe in you

I'll give up everything

Just to find you

I have to be with you

To live, to breathe

You're taking over me

Taking over me

Taking over me

The audience erupted in applause and screaming. Haley smiled deeply. "Thank you. That was a cover of 'Taking Over Me' by Evanescence. This next one is 'Til I Get Over You' by Michelle Branch," Haley said. She stood up and took the second microphone with her. She adjusted it. She grabbed her guitar and started strumming while someone else came and started playing the piano. A few seconds later, she started singing:

Every time I feel alone

I can blame it on you

And I do, oh

You got me like a loaded gun

Golden sun and sky so blue, oh

We both know that we want it

But we both know you left me no choice

chaque tois que tu ton va

You just bring me down

je pretend que to fais bien

So I'm counting my tears til I get over you

Sometimes I watch the world go by

I wonder what it's like, oh

To wake up every single day

Smile on your face

You never tried, oh

We both know we can't change it

But we both know we'll just have to face it

chaque tois que tu ton va

You just bring me down

je pretend que tu fais bien

So I'm counting my tears til I get over you

If only I could give you up

But would I want to let you off of this soapbox, baby?

We both know that we want it (rising pitch)

But we both know you left me no choice (hold)

chaque tois que tu ton va

You just bring me down

je pretend que tu fais bien

So I'm counting my tears til I get over you

We both know…

That I'm not over you

I'm not over you

She took a deep breath and smiled at the applause. "This is the last cover I'll do for the evening. It's called 'Completely' by Jennifer Day," Haley said. She went back to the piano and started playing.

I'll give my all or not at all

There's no in between

I'll give my best, won't second-guess

This feeling deep in me

You make me want to love you

With every breath I'll love you, oh, endlessly

I'll give my heart, give my soul

I won't hold back; I'll give you everything

All of me, completely

You fill me up with your love

Oh, I just overflow

When me touch, can't get enough

And I want you to know

You make me want to love you

With every breath I'll love you, oh, endlessly

I'll give my heart, give my soul

I won't hold back; I'll give you everything

All of me, completely

You make me want to love you

With every breath I'll love you, oh, endlessly

I'll give my heart, give my soul

I won't hold back; I'll give you everything

All of me, completely

Then she started right into her next song:

It's been a while since I've seen you

There a lot of questions I want to ask

How are you?

You certainly look good

Is your life everything you hoped it would be?

I hope you're as happy as I pretend to be

I know I look okay and I act like I'm fine

You probably think my life is perfect

And that I don't regret that I:

Ran away

Stayed hidden away

Never called or wrote you

Well, baby, things aren't always what they seem

Cause inside I'm breaking down

Oh, I'm hurting so much

I feel like I'm stuck on the inside powerless to stop myself

From looking at the mess I made of things

Are you surprised?

What can I say?
Appearances can be deceiving

Haley held the last note for a long time until she stopped playing and stood up. "Thank you," she said into the microphone. There was a thundering applause as Haley walked off stage and Nathan sat in his chair beside his date. He was in a state of shock and completely speechless.