Title: Off-Putting
Author: Jmaria
Theme: Smell
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Joss is Boss. River and Jayne are his. I, however, own Hoban jr., Gaia, and Skye.
Pairing: Jayne Cobb/River Tam
Words: 286
Summary: Something's not quite right
Author's Notes: Post-Serenity, and set in the Gravity 'verse - Zoe's twins are about two and a half, and Skye is about one.

Off Putting

He loved knowin' there was somethin' he was better at than her, it brought a smile to his well-worn face watching her youthful one scrunch up in confusion and frustration as she tried to get little Skye to eat. Hoban and Gaia wouldn't eat either. River only glared at him.

"Critters ain't gonna eat if you keep on makin' that face," Jayne laughed, which sent the three children laughing.

"It's healthy food, I just don't understand. Skye is never problematic about eating. She has your appetite."

"Want me to try?"

"If she won't eat for me, she won't eat for you," River sniffed, but moved back for her husband to try.

Jayne hunched down into the chair River vacated, taking the wooden bowl and spoon in his big hands. Skye smiled up at her papa, her hands clapping. Then she caught sight of the spoon he held and she gave him a pained look, big crocodile tears forming in her eyes. Jayne frowned, lifted the bowl to his nose and took a deep breath. He jerked his head away and willed his eyes to not water.

"Simon cook this?"

"Yes, before he took breakfast to Kaylee," River frowned. "Why?"

"They won't eat 'cause it smells like crotch," Jayne muttered, taking away all three bowls of porridge. "Least that explains why Kaylee was sick. Boy needs to learn how to cook."

"How much crotch have you smelled, Jayne?" River asked, taking a sniff of the porridge before he dumped it out.

"What in the spincter of hell is that smell?" Mal demanded as he and Zoe made their way into the galley. "Kaylee loose her lunch in here too?"

"Nope, Doc made crotch-smelling porridge," Jayne chuckled.

"Again?"