Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or any of it characters, because if I did, I would be very rich, and I'm not…shame

Place something here writers thoughts

'Place something here' speech

Suicide Woodlice

The second half of the lesson

By the time everyone had finished their worksheets, and some had already started their homework, (Kyle and Wendy, who else?), the bell rang. Now it was time to start the experiment with woodlice. This involved getting some woodlice out of the box that the teacher had brought in, and taking them back to their desks to put them in this circular, see-though thing, which is separated into four by some bits that come up, but the woodlice can still walk into the next segment, the thingy it shall from here on be referred to as 'thingy' for the rest of this fic also has a lid so the cannot get out. In one bit wet cotton wool is placed in, some black paper in another, and also some white paper, and last some stuff I don't remember the name of the stuff, sorry! That is poisonous to woodlice if it gets wet and it kills them. Of course when the teacher was telling the class about this, very few people were listening.

'Right…Stan you can go get the thingy, and then sort out the sections, and fat-arse, you can go run round the school until you're as thin as the rest of us, okay?' said Kyle.

'Ay! I am not fat! You God damn Jew!' yelled Cartman, but Kyle had already walked off. In a huff, Cartman stormed off.

Stan went and got the stuff needed, and then placed it in the thingy, the black paper next to the white paper and the poisonous stuff, and the wet cotton wool next to the poisonous stuff and the white paper. Then sat back to wait, watching Kenny sort out his thingy (slightly different from him). Soon Craig came back with their first woodlice.

'It needs a name.' Stated Kenny.

'Really? Don't you think that's a bit…faggy?' replied Craig.

'No, how about Merlin?'

'Fine, whatever, I'll go and get some more.' With that Craig walked off to try and get back to the box.

'This is a bit boring isn't it Stan?'

'Yep.'

'I think I'm going to add some more texture to the wet bit with the dry stuff the stuff that is poisonous when wet, but he wasn't listening now was he.'

'Okay cool.' As Kenny was doing that Kyle came back and dropped about ten into their thingy, and Stan put the lid on.

'Kenny, what are you doing?' Enquired Kyle. 'Weren't you listening? You're going to kill your woodlice if you do that.'

'What! Oh no!' With that Kenny starts to remove the wet cotton from the thingy. 'it's all right my little Merlin, you're alright now…I went hurt you….'

'He's lost it.'

'Stan, how can he have lost something he never had?'

'Good point.'

'Are you not going to name yours?' Chimed in Kenny. Exchanging a glance they shrugged their shoulders.

'Sure.' They said together. They named about three of the ten. The first was a reddy one they called Sassy, next was a big fat one the looked like it was fucking one of the others that got named Fuckems, and the last one, which seemed to be dying was called Tommy the soon to be decreased.

'Oh My God! Are you saying that this stuff can kill them!' some random girl was yelling. 'I'm not doing this any more!'

Of course, when the woodlice started to walk from the wet bit, to the bit with the chemical, they moved stuff off the water with them. While this was happening, Cartman came back from his sulking.

'You've come back lard-butt, but you're still has fat as ever I see.' Kyle said upon seeing him.

'Ay! Don't call me fat, Jew!'

'But that's what you are, fat.' Stan added in, with a round of agreement sounding from the rest of the table.

'You know what, screw you guys, I'm goin' home!' and with that he walked out of the class, no-one bothered to follow him or try to get him to come back for the two reasons, one they didn't like him, and too, it wouldn't do any good.

'Thank God he's gone.'

'I agree, but Stan, are you aware that our woodlice are suicidal?'

'What are you on about Kyle?'

'Well, just that when they walk from the wet bit to the dry bit they are taking water with them, and that it could kill them if they do that.'

'Shit. Well we have to stop them.' So they took off the top and started to move all of the woodlice out of the section and then take out the chemical. Shortly after doing that, it was time to pack up. The woodlice were put into Kyle's cupped hands, and he took them back to the box, while Stan put back the thingy.

'Kyle…?'

'Yes?'

'Do you think that chemical might be poisonous to humans too?'

'It might be, that's why I just washed my hands.'

With that the bell for the end of the lesson went, and Kyle left to go get the bus, leaving Stan scrubbing his hands in the sink. And in the box, Tommy the soon to be decreased, became Tommy the decreased, but no one cared because they were all to anxious to get home to think about that little woodlice.

Sorry if this isn't funny at all…

Please review…I may add more…if I do the next chapter will be called 'Biosphere'.

Please, please, please review!

May be continued…