CHAPTER 8: Drum And Bass
Keys. Wallet. Cable. It was a simple mantra to remind herself to grab everything before she left the apartment. Lily used to be quite the forgetter a few years ago, and it had taken some practise and mindfulness to improve.
Deciding to play bass was actually in part therapeutic. Her mom made her take piano lessons as a child; Lily had become somewhat decent at it, but she never liked the instrument. Yet, she thought playing and making music would be cool, and she regretted that she could never take the piano seriously. The bass helped her re-discover the joy of performing while also giving her the means to cultivate both her muscle memory and actual memory. And after all, the musical background she reluctantly received when she was little hastened her learning process now.
And now, thanks to her friend Jason, Lily had the opportunity to contribute to a real band. Over the last month or so, she played and hung out with Rest In Neglect two or three times a week and was eager to learn what it means to be a band member. If anything, she was glad everybody seemed to have welcomed her and she felt really included in the project.
...on most days. But she was also experienced enough to know – or guess, anyway – that Rin's cold behavior wasn't necessarily related to her personally. Something about the singer's energy urged Lily to feel pity and sympathy for her. It might have been because Rin was a little bit younger and maybe going through similar hardships that the bass player herself knew all too well. She couldn't help but feel the urge to protect her; that was, if the damn girl would allow it.
Once she made sure she was ready to depart, Lily stopped running around hectically in her underwear, slipped into black leggings and a yellow sweater, grabbed her bass bag and ran downstairs.
"I'm so sorry," she exhaled on the street. "Of course I forgot to pack everything on time."
Jason greeted her with a fist bump. "Chilly, Lily. It's only been five minutes, no harm done."
The two friends and the bass bag got into Jason's car, and off to band practice they went.
"So," he spoke up at the first intersection; "it's been a month. Are you glad I brought you into this?"
Lily smiled. "I was literally thinking about it earlier. I am so thankful for the opportunity and I hope I won't let you down!"
"Oi, you won't, I promise! You kick so much ass already, I'm excited to see what becomes of us all in the future."
"Well, thank you. I'm happy to hear that, you didn't look very excited last time."
Jason grunted. "Yes, but you know how it is. When Rin brings in the bad mood, it kind of rubs on me."
Lily looked out the window. There wasn't much to see from inside the city, but the passing sceneries brought her some sense of solace.
"You were there when I was the same way, you know. I'm happy you were so patient with me and I want to ask you to do the same for Rin now."
"That was nothing. You know I was always fond of you."
"Yep. You're a great guy, Jas. There was a time I wished you were a girl," Lily said with a grin.
"Well that's a compliment and a half, I'll tell you that much."
The girl's face grew a speck more serious. "You have no idea how great it is to have a guy friend who accepts that I like girls. Sometimes I still get hit on by men who think they can change my mind."
"I apologise for my species. I could get behind an initial confusion, but it is disgusting to push into it when you already made yourself clear."
"What do you mean?"
Jason peeked over at her. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't look like a stereotypical lesbian."
"See, that's part of the problem," Lily sighed. "People have a tendency to think being a lesbian means you have to dress like a dude with boobs. And I get why that's appealing to some girls. A gay friend of mine says that cis girl outfits – and girls in general, in fact – are unfairly sexualised. And therefore, when she chooses to look like a boy, it's because she thinks the gender role of a typical girl in itself implies a justified sexual drive in guys and she needs to distance herself from that notion. How fucked up is that?"
"Blimey. You sounded like a gender scientist for a second."
"Her words, not mine," she smiled. "I reckon she gave it a lot of thought."
Jason stayed quiet just long enough to make a turn and stop for a pedestrian who happened to be crossing the street inconveniently in front of them. "What about you, then? You like dressing like a girl."
"It's not that I disagree with her point of view, but my choice of wardrobe isn't anyone's business, is it, now? I'm not that strict with gender identity and all that. I only see myself as a girl who by chance happens to fancy other girls."
"And nobody could tell if they didn't ask," the drummer added.
Lily glanced over. Jason's face lacked any tension whatsoever. She appreciated that this was an entirely casual conversation to her friend.
"To be fair, it's always stupid to just assume someone's into you, wouldn't you say?"
"I guess so. But then how would anyone be supposed to find a mate?"
"Um, going out? Talking?" She was tempted to bump him on the shoulder but didn't want to distract him from driving. "A little confidence is appreciated, but not if it's fueled by one's crotch."
Jason snorted. "That's funny. I recall you being opposed to going out with people for whom you hadn't developed feelings in the first place."
"Yeah, in hindsight, that was bullshit. That only works in secondary school when everybody's having a crush on someone all the time."
"Not to mention teenagers mistaking love for horniness."
"Right," said Lily with a smirk, recalling that era in life. "The older you get, the more you realise you can't make ends meet just because you're in love. You've got to conclude it's a conscious choice to be in a relationship."
Jason stopped the car at a red light. "Yes, Lil, I too read deep quotes on the internet. True love is when you choose your person every single days over and over again, or something."
The girl laughed. "Okay, I know it usually sounds corny as shit. But a lot of it is actually true!"
"I know it is. But the way people shove it in our faces for cheap attention is repelling, to say the least. And the kids in the comments going 'oh my God, so true and inspiring,'" he exclaimed in a high pitched voice. "I say, the more you have to convince yourself that you see the truth, the less you actually do."
Lily sighed sarcastically as the car started moving again. "Look at you. You have no hope for the young generation."
"I keep being reminded of that, now that we're in a band led by a girl who is four years younger than you and I."
She rolled her eyes. "Just about. I've been twenty-three for almost exactly a month now." And after a few seconds of silence, she asked: "Does it make that much of a difference? Hanging out with a nineteen-year-old?"
Jason stayed silent.
"Well?"
He breathed out. "She's got ambition, and she's talented. But her recent moodiness is out of control."
"That's not entirely fair, Jas. I think she's going through something tough, that's not her age's doing."
Jason's eyes narrowed. "Come to think of it, she wasn't like that before. Not this much, anyway."
"So, apparently, she became worse when I came into the picture?" Lily remarked jokingly.
To her surprise, the drummer didn't dismiss that thought. "Sort of? Though I can't imagine what would spark that sort of thing. It's probably a coincidence."
And the girl made the mistake of thinking about it.
"I guess... Rin is being so cold towards me. I tried to reach out to her and ask her how she was doing, but I think I only made her feel worse. But on the other hand, I don't understand why she would want to keep me in the band if she disliked me."
"It coincided with Tom leaving. He was the bassist before you. Maybe something happened between him and Rin?" Jason theorised. "I doubt we'll know anything without asking her, and I'll be damned if she tells either of us anything. Christian's the one who does the most talking to her."
"Let's hope he can bring her to her senses, then," Lily sighed. "When we first met, I liked her a lot. I hate seeing her lose herself like that, but there's only so much I can do if she doesn't want to be helped."
"Like, liked-liked her?"
"I don't know. She's cute. But it seems selfish to dig too deep into it, knowing she has more serious shit to think about. It's no big deal."
"Alright, then," Jason said jovially. "I wouldn't get my hopes high if I were you, anyway. Rin has a bit of a history with boys, I gather."
"Didn't we just talk about this? Sometimes there's no telling who or what a person's into."
"Yes, but Rin's already broken a few male hearts."
Lily shook her head. "That doesn't have to mean anything. People are sometimes bisexual. And I've met lesbians who, well... threw themselves at all the guys before they realised something doesn't add up."
"It might be. I've met straight girls who just happened to enjoy shagging a bit too much, though."
"You're so cynical," she frowned and looked out the window. They were just one or two streets away from the studio. "You used to enjoy life before."
"I'm sorry, Lily," he replied. "Like I said. Rin has been bringing me down lately. It almost takes the joy out of playing. Almost."
"Then that's a whole other reason for us all to be on our best behavior, is it not? She's got to see we care about the project even when she's grumpy. Well, and about her as well."
"I guess so. Although, I'm this close to telling her I need a small break. We've been meeting for all those months almost without a hitch and I think I'm in need of something of a holiday. What I'm worried about is Rin telling me there's no time to rest until that EP is produced."
"Well," Lily said with endless patience; "you can say nothing and definitely not get a holiday, or you can speak up and maybe get a holiday. There's no way you'll get in trouble for just saying that, is there, now?"
The car took a left turn into the familiar street, and Jason began looking for a free spot to park.
"I don't like confrontation," he responded.
"Yes, you rather let your unease boil inside you and then whine about how unfairly the world treats you. Grow up, man."
Jason found a suitable space and stopped the car to parallel park. "No, you're right. Point taken."
"You've got to cheer up, Jason," said Lily with somewhat of a forced smile. "Even if Rin is being a pain in the ass, you've still got me. And we finally have the chance to be in a band together, like we talked about forever. That's got to amount to something, hasn't it?"
"It sure does. Look," the drummer suddenly pointed to the street corner. "I think that's Rin. And... No, that's not Christian."
Lily's gaze followed the direction he gave. Indeed, Rin stood there with a male figure, though she was just apparently kissing him goodbye because after a quick smooch, the guy turned around and disappeared around the corner. Without missing a beat, the girl turned as well and walked up the street towards the entrance to Paul's studio. She was a couple dozen meters away from their parking spot so Lily wasn't sure, but she thought Rin's body language signaled visible frustration. Before she submerged in the building, the singer looked towards them and probably recognised Jason's car because she immediately started to walk to them.
As soon as the drummer parked and stopped the engine, Lily opened her door and stepped onto the pavement. "Hello there," she greeted the young girl.
"General Kenobi," Rin responded with a drop of amusement. "Hey, remember that hug you offered me last month? I think I kinda need it right now."
She was only taken aback for a fraction of a second. She spread her arms a bit: "But of course, love! Come get it."
The girl stepped forward with an awkward smile and fell into Lily's arms; because of the height difference, Lily pulled her in by the shoulder blades while Rin's own arms wrapped around the bass player's waist. She could sense that the girl needed comforting and softly caressed her back for a few seconds.
"Better?" she asked eventually.
"Mm-hm," Rin gently nodded, rubbing her face on Lily's sweater as a result. "Thank you."
The fact that Jason then walked up – his presence reminding her of their current obligations – wasn't at all convenient. That hug was electrifying and Lily wished it could have been longer. Way longer. Despite having literally just witnessed Rin with a boyfriend most likely, she couldn't help but remember she herself had a latent crush on the singer.
It didn't bother her, though. She wasn't about to feel hopelessly in love. A part of that notion was obviously a self defence mechanism as to not get burnt; but another part of it was being happy with herself. Lily wasn't desperate for love, and because of that, it was quite easy to merely enjoy the slight special interest she had in Rin and accept it as it was. It might grow into something, or not at all. She would be content either way. At least, she aspired to be.
"You don't have your guitar with you today?" she asked Rin when she pulled back and realised she wasn't carrying her gig bag.
"No," the young girl replied. "Paul and I put a small surprise together. You'll see."
"Should I worry?" said Jason as he also embraced with Rin, though for a significantly shorter time compared to her hug with Lily.
"Nah, you're fine. This is mostly for me and Christian. Lily, you may be affected a little, but I guess we'll have to see what happens."
"You seem chipper today," Lily murmured quietly once Jason walked ahead towards the studio entrance.
"Not really. Just more resigned, I guess," Rin said in response.
She put her arm around the singer's shoulders as they followed Jason at a slower pace. "My offer still stands, you know? If you need someone to talk to, I'm right here."
"Thanks. But I feel like I have to sort this shit out myself."
"Alright. I'm just saying it might be helpful to hear a different perspective."
Rin gently took the hand currently laid on her shoulder and put Lily's arm back down. "I doubt it. But I'm glad you say that."
For the few seconds she needed to say those two sentences, she kept holding onto Lily's hand. Then, as if she'd just noticed, Rin let go and turned away. "Let's go, then. I'm excited for today."
The bass player let her go first, partly because she didn't want Rin to see her blushing suddenly.
Paul and Jason greeted them inside; Christian hadn't come yet apparently. "Ah, welcome!" said Paul. "Here they are, Rin. I borrowed them from a shop owner so you better not leave any scratch marks!"
"It's alright. Worst case scenario, I'll just buy them off for the full price," Rin replied. "Man do they look kickass!"
When Lily turned the corner and entered the actual studio, she immediately saw what the fuss was about. There were two identical black superstrats laid on Paul's sofa.
"That's it? More guitars?" she asked, a bit underwhelmed.
"These are baritone guitars," Paul explained. "Do you see how the scale length is a little longer than usual? With this, you can play in super low tunings without the need of super thick strings."
Lily smirked. "I see. Wouldn't that render my position obsolete, though?"
"Don't worry," Rin said while she took ahold of one of the instruments. "Although, if we end up actually using these, you may want to switch to a five string bass. The standard tuning of these is in B so that extra string might make more sense for you, rather than to keep tuning your four string that low. Can we plug this in, Paul?"
"Certainly!"
"So," the bass player kept on prodding while Paul was handing Rin a guitar cable; "What's your plan with these guitars? I figured we'd be staying in drop C, but it seems like you wanted to go even lower?"
"Not for everything. That drop C is still a great tuning for most of our songs. I've just had a couple of ideas that might work better like this." And the girl struck the top strings; a heavy, low distorted power chord boomed from Paul's speakers.
"Oh, that's cool," Rin exclaimed and improvised a simple riff. "I originally wanted to try seven strings, but I didn't want to spend months re-learning my fingering."
"I see. So you didn't want to adapt to an extra string, but you expect it of me?" said Lily with a risen eyebrow and a wide sarcastic smile.
Rin giggled. "Completely. But in all seriousness, Paul and I mostly wanted to try this because I kept coming back to Circle and wondered if I could make my job easier with those chords. I think..." She played a chord across all six strings. "I'm sorry, Paul, can you turn off distortion?"
One mouse click, and she had a clean tone. Rin then proceeded to try out a few chords before she found what she was looking for and happily proceeded to play the verse from Circle.
"See?" Paul spoke up. "I told you that would work."
"It takes a while to get used to," she replied without stopping. "The A minor shape gives an E minor chord, and so on. But it does work."
"But it's not an acoustic anymore," said Jason. "I liked that sound better."
Paul, excited for the chance to lecture someone, smiled. "We can emulate that digitally. And if we don't like the outcome, we can always just tune an acoustic guitar way down and get the same result, except, of course, we'd need way thicker strings for that."
"We'll see," Rin thought out loud. "Today, I just wanted to get used to it and see what happens."
The electronic bell rang; Christian had probably arrived. Paul let him in.
"Fun fact," he asked; "did you know that this tuning isn't at all a modern invention? If you ever heard Lead Belly's version of Where Did You Sleep Last Night, his acoustic goes that low, and we're talking the 1940's."
"Actually," said Christian upon emerging in front of them; "his version was called In The Pines. Nirvana gave their rendition that name."
"Hey there!" Rin greeted him. "Look what we got for you! Well, borrowed, but, look what we got for you!"
Lily briefly looked at Jason; he was smiling. She felt the same way. That evening finally felt energetic enough, especially after the last couple of weeks, and it was nice to participate in a fun band meeting for a change. She was only hoping it would stay that way for a while.
And hell was she willing to maintain Rin's mental health to the best of her abilities. For the singer's own good, of course, but also, just for this.
