Lin blinked out of his stasis cycle as he registered movement in his arms. He'd set his standby phase to end the moment John showed signs of waking. His synthetic skin felt a little tight where the saline trails had dried and crusted on his cheeks. He quickly rubbed his skin, feeling small flakes fall away. John was only just awake, blue eyes dim in the early grey light from the closed curtains. Lin tightened the arm on his waist and pressed his lips to his soft temple. He didn't even need to scan John to know his vitals were all over the place. He could see his lower lip trembling before he bit down on it, stifling a small sob in his throat.
"I'm here…I'm with you." His soft voice came out a little more scratchy and uneven than he'd like. He swallowed, hoping John wouldn't notice his distress. John turned in Lin's embrace at his comforting words, hiding his face as his shoulders quivered. Lin turned on his side so that he could fully envelop him in his arms, hushing and soothing him softly. He rocked a little, knowing the motions would help to soothe him. "I know…I know…" Lin whispered, finding it hard to keep his own voice level. His throat felt knotted.
"I should-have looked…I should-have found-him-sooner! I-could-have-" John cried as he gripped Lin's bare shoulders. His breath and tears were hot and damp on Lin's bare skin. Lin hushed him again, turning John's head gently so that he could hold it against his chest. The sound of his internal workings slowly calmed him, but the small sobs didn't stop. After a few minutes, Lin tilted his chin up to look into his devastated, red-rimmed eyes. They were still glittering with hot tears.
"There was nothing we could have done. The shelving unit had already caused too much damage…He wouldn't have survived, even if we had managed to get him out. It was an accident, and you are not to blame." Lin was firm. He hated the way John's expression twisted in grief and self-reproach. He still thought that it was somehow his fault. Lin continued to whisper gentle assurances. He stroked John's bare skin, tracing a path up and down his spine, over his rump and down his thighs.
"What do we do now?" John asked quietly. It was a question Lin had been working on in the background all night. He'd thought of numerous possibilities. They could claim the insurance and start to rebuild the shop, probably not the best or safest idea at the moment. Returning to the shop would also reveal John's location to the men his father had undoubtedly sent by now. They might be there already, asking questions. John could take this as a sign to take a break and return to Cyberlife, though the outcome of that was inconclusive. Would Lin find a place at John's side there? Was it even safe for him to go near Cyberlife as a deviant? Would they tear him apart? Reset him? What would John do in that case? Too many variables. They could disappear. This one was appealing, but they needed some time to plan. Where would they go? What would they do? Would they be able to avoid the police and Cyberlife? Lin was a deviant and John's father would likely file a missing person report. Crossing state lines would also be a challenge right now, what with the crackdown on androids.
"We can discuss that later…Right now, you need to replenish your fluids…You've cried so much," Lin murmured sympathetically, feeling John nod his agreement against his bare shoulder. He'd also need to try eating something, though he knew it would be difficult to keep it down at first. As if they'd been heard, a gentle knock sounded on the door. "Come in," Lin called after making sure John was securely tucked beneath the thick duvet.
"I thought you'd like some breakfast," Ayako greeted softly as she carried a large tray over to the bed. It was a heavy wooden one that had legs like a table so it could stand on the mattress. Lin took it from her gratefully as he sat up and propped it over his lap. "How is he doing?" Ayako asked in an even gentler tone, noting how John had burrowed his face into the duvet to avoid notice. He wasn't ready for company yet. Ayako quietly agreed to allow him to pretend to be asleep. Lin gave her a small smile as he played along.
"Worn, vulnerable…uncertain…I'll take care of him," Lin assured, thankful for the light touch Ayako left on his shoulder. She didn't interface with him, but he could tell from the pressure that she sympathised and offered any support he needed. He met her gaze with a thankful quirk of his lips before watching her pad softly out of the room. Lin was quiet as he put butter and jam on some toast for John. "Just one piece," Lin compromised softly as John shook his head.
"Not hungry…" His stomach was tied in knots, but he did nibble the cooling toast a little at Lin's pleading expression. Lin stroked his blonde locks in encouragement, watching his lids close with each light stroke. There was some orange juice for him as well, and a thirium pack for Lin. Lin smiled at Ayako's thoughtfulness as he began sucking the blue liquid. He prompted John to sip his juice, knowing it would help the toast go down easier. "Lin…" John whimpered vulnerably as he finished the dried bread.
"It's alright, I know…I'm here," Lin murmured as he pulled John's shuddering form against his chest. He was quietly pleased that he'd managed to hold off for so long. He'd noticed his throat tightening more than once as he'd worked his way through the toast. His sobs were light and breathy as he tried not to make too much noise. "Shh, that's it…that's it…" Lin whispered as he felt John fighting to get his short breaths under control.
"Sorry…I know father would say it's…silly," John cried, his voice laced with shame.
"It's not silly! You lost someone dear to you…It doesn't matter that he was an android," Lin said firmly, unwilling to spark a debate over it. Of course John's father wouldn't have seen the GT300 as anything more than a plastic shell and tangled wires. The majority of humans were like that. John shouldn't hold himself to their views and standards. It wasn't fair. The pain he felt was real and valid. As if to confirm his point, Lin drew back the skin of his hand before caressing John's pale cheek. John leaned into the warm touch, humming at the familiar spark that jumped across his skin. "I…feel it too," Lin confessed in an unexpected moment of vulnerability.
"Feel what?"
"The absence of GT…He was…my friend," Lin admitted in a soft tone, as if he were sharing a secret. Perhaps he had even been more than a friend. In some ways, he'd been like a brother. An older brother. He was an old android that had been around for some years, and he'd taken the time to show Lin the ropes of deviancy. He'd listened to Lin's concerns, given him advice, and worried about things with him. They'd shared a common goal. To ensure John remained safe and happy. The weight of that task seemed to fall solely to Lin now, and with a probable war rising on the horizon, that mission may become near impossible to complete.
"I'm sorry, I should have realised!" John felt guilty for simply dumping all of his own emotions on Lin. He was so used to having his support that he'd forgotten that, as a deviant, Lin had his own emotions to contend with. It made perfect sense that he and GT would have bonded during their time together. Of course Lin felt his loss. He'd been holding himself together to take care of him, and it wasn't fair. It wasn't his job to baby him.
"No. The GT300 was so precious to you, and you knew him far longer than I…I feel the loss, but you don't need to worry about me," Lin insisted, watching John's gaze drop as if he'd been reproached. Lin lifted his chin gently, giving him an assuring look. He was almost surprised as John crawled onto his lap, straddling his hips and wrapping his arms around his neck. One of John's hands laced in his ebony locks, forcing Lin to bury his face in his shoulder. Lin ignored their lack of clothing for the moment, even as the sheets pooled around John's bare hips. "Thank you," he murmured as he embraced John and held him tighter, the unsteady hitch in his voice the only sign he'd allow John to see of his weakness.
"I wish we could go back…have a second chance," John whispered, thinking back to just a few hours ago when they'd been standing in his living room. It had come out of nowhere. The only worry they'd had was his father trying to force him back to Cyberlife. Was there something he could have done? Should he have double-checked the doors that night? Had the explosion even come from inside the shop? It must have to have caused such damage in the storeroom. He nuzzled Lin's forehead as he felt him littering butterfly kisses across his neck and shoulder.
"I know…I know," Lin agreed, curling over as more saline dripped from his eyes. He couldn't help the pathetic wet sniffle that escaped. He felt John stiffen in surprise before his hold tightened. He almost chuckled as he felt John crying, too. This is what he'd needed. John's tears only encouraged his own. Their bodies shook. Hands grasped. Breaths stuttered. John eventually drew back, pushing Lin's shoulders until he could see his vulnerable face. Lin raised his head, allowing John to see his own pain and despair.
"Lin…" John murmured, stroking the saline tears from his cheeks. He didn't care that they were a little oilier than salt water. He cupped Lin's cheeks and tilted his face up, pressing gentle kiss after gentle kiss against his lips. Lin pulled him closer. He was greedy as he accepted the comfort offered by John's mouth. That was the only comfort he'd take though. It felt somehow wrong to be physically intimate so soon. He wanted to wallow in pure grief. Untainted by passion or anything positive. He was pleased that John seemed to feel the same way.
"We should shower and check the news…It might say something about the shop," Lin said eventually, once their tears had stopped and their lips had slowed to a lazy press here and there. John nodded his agreement as he snuffled and wiped his face on the duvet. They wrapped themselves in their towels and returned to the shower. There was no sign of activity upstairs, so Lin assumed Ayako was downstairs, and Takigawa was likely at work. They wasted little time, sharing a quick shower before dressing in their now clean clothes and heading downstairs.
"You're up!" Ayako greeted with forced cheer, just putting the finishing touches on some light sandwiches. John could only guess that she'd heard them moving around to have lunch ready so promptly. John hadn't really thought about it the night before, but now that he'd had time to process, he realised he felt pleased to see Ayako.
"It's good to see you again." He'd been quietly worried about her all this time. Ayako gave them both a once over, not mentioning the redness in John's eyes before handing a small plated sandwich to him. He took it humbly and sat at the round table. She also gave Lin more thirium since he'd been burning through it with saline production. He accepted the pack with thanks and stood close to John's shoulder as he did his best to nibble the sandwich.
"I found this on the sofa while cleaning up…" Ayako said hesitantly as she held out her hand across the table. John almost flinched as he saw the small round button. It was all that remained of the GT300. He remembered the rough feel of the edges as GT had pressed it into his palm. He'd held it in a death grip until he'd been laid on Takigawa's sofa. He'd almost fallen asleep on the soft surface. The LED must have slipped from his fingers. "I had a spare chain, I hope you don't mind," Ayako added hesitantly as she held the LED up. It looked like a pendant now, with a fine chain slotted through the back. John was touched by her thoughtfulness as he watched the small circle swinging on the chain.
"Thank you so much!" he exclaimed as he accepted the necklace. It was delicate. Lin didn't say a word as he got to his feet and clipped the pendant around John's slender neck. The chain was far more elegant than the ones usually made for men, but this was clearly one of Ayako's own pieces. John was just pleased to have the LED back. He couldn't help fingering the small disc. He liked to think that perhaps the GT300 would remain with him this way. Silently guiding him. I like to think he'd be welcome in heaven, android or not…John thought, despite the rambling pastors who often swore androids were the work of the devil.
"Has there been any news?" Lin asked, knowing that Ayako would have been keeping a close eye on the bulletins. All deviants would. These were dark times for androids everywhere. Things in Detroit had been getting more tense by the day, and the echo was being felt everywhere. Ayako's expression darkened a little.
"The humans are making their move. Cyberlife is actively encouraging android returns. The police have started taking androids off the streets and sending them to internment camps. Massive recycling centres are being rolled out to disassemble them…I don't know what's going to happen in Detroit, but there has been news of a movement coming together in a place called Jericho…Obviously that's too far away for us, but there is a similar movement here," Ayako reported in a low tone, not minding John listening in. He may be a human, but she knew he was on their side. There was no way he'd let the police get their hands on Lin. She watched John's expression shift from anxious to worried, teeth already working his bottom lip. Lin's fingers swiftly reached across, protectively resting against the plump flesh to prevent bleeding.
"If they're serious, then they'll be making door-to-door collections soon," Lin said, deeply troubled at the thought. He was sure some humans, like John and Takigawa, would try to protect their androids. That meant the police would likely search homes and scan everyone to confirm their status as a human. He shuddered at the thought. There was no way of fooling an electrical scanner. Ayako nodded her silent agreement. John's eyes widened slightly at the news.
"You mean they'll take everyone? Takigawa's partner? Katie?" John elaborated worriedly, his sandwich forgotten. Lin winced at the reminder. It didn't bear thinking about. He could already imagine what they were doing in those camps, too. Mass deactivation. Breaking androids down back into their original parts. After that, they'd either be repurposed once deviation had been fully researched and fixed or melted down for something new. It didn't matter if an android was deviant or not. The only way to fully eradicate the virus was to get rid of the whole batch and start anew. The thought gripped his core like a vice. Every single android. Dead.
"Is anything happening now?" Lin wondered nervously. Ayako moved to the living room and flicked to a twenty-four-hour news channels. The same report was playing on a loop, urging the public to assist in handing over all androids and ratting out their neighbours if they didn't comply. There was nothing about the shop so far, but this wasn't the local news. It was state wide. "It won't be safe to stay here much longer…" Lin murmured thoughtfully, already wondering how many of Takigawa's neighbours had wondered about Ayako. She was a rare model these days, but far more recognisable than himself.
"Our own version of Jericho exists, but it's a little small and…they could use some help," Ayako confessed meaningfully as she looked across at John. She was surprised as John brightened slightly, pleased to be useful. Lin's jaw tightened. He didn't want to drag John into their troubles, but it wouldn't exactly be safe to leave him alone either. He was probably known as a sympathiser after the shop incident, and if his father was looking for him, then that added more complications. Though he would at least be safe with his father…
"Maybe some of my tools survived the fire," John suggested, though it felt too soon to be returning to the scene. The police could still be there. Not to mention the men John's father had sent. I could go alone, but John would probably object to that…Are the streets even safe enough right now? Lin wondered, ultimately deciding it would be better to move in the evening. If they timed it right, they would go out near the end of the police shifts when the local patrol officers would be changing over. They could stick to the quieter streets and keep out of sight as much as possible.
"Alright, but only if it's clear."
