John blinked awake, or at least his eyes opened. There was nothing but darkness. An endless void of black. He didn't feel tired. He didn't feel sore. He didn't even feel that drowsy contentment he usually felt upon waking. What was I…doing? He couldn't quite remember, but he knew it was something bad. Something had happened before he fell asleep. Something didn't feel right. It dawned on him suddenly. It wasn't just one thing. It was everything. He blinked, and it felt wrong. The darkness that surrounded him felt wrong. He raised a hand and flexed his fingers. He couldn't see it, but it felt wrong. A window opened in his black vision. A bright notification with orange text about systems that were activating. Wha-what is that? Fear lanced through his chest as he forced himself upright. There was a tugging at the back of his neck where he'd been connected to something. I-in the back of my neck? It felt unnatural. Error windows opened. Warnings of stress. He tried to breathe, but he didn't know how. I can't breathe! He panicked and flailed, unable to focus on the voices beside him, urging him to calm down as hands pressed him to the padded surface.
It's alright, you don't need to be afraid! a new voice soothed. It was a man's voice. A firm grip held his hand. It was like someone was inside his head, manually closing the boxes for him and activating new systems. John whimpered fearfully. The man's voice was gentle and familiar, but it wasn't one he knew well. The man was gripping his hand to comfort him. He was kind. John winced as his vision blinked and flickered to life. He winced in the sudden brightness. Hospital lights? He looked to his left to see a familiar figure. You'll need some time to adjust. Just calm down…I've activated your respiratory function. Breathe, Markus ordered calmly as he nodded his encouragement. His mismatched eyes reminded John of Lin. A chasm opened in his chest at the thought. He didn't remember everything, but he knew that Lin had been there.
"L-Li…Li-n!" John croaked as he tried to speak. His heart pounded as he heard the strange static, hissing tone of his voice. He raised his free hand over his mouth in horror. Had that sound really come from him? What was happening? He flinched as he felt a strong hand pressed against the front of his neck. He followed the hand and up the arm to the worried face. Uncle Eli? Elijah gave him a tight smile as he tapped away on a computer. The computer was a sleek laptop that Elijah did a lot of work on. It had multiple cables attaching it to something. John shuddered in realisation. Me…they're attached to me! He was about to struggle when Markus gripped his hand tighter to get his attention.
It's alright! Just give yourself a minute…Markus urged gently as he squeezed. John watched as his stress levels rose and fell. He was scared. He had no idea what all these windows meant or why they were in his eyes. It didn't feel right. He didn't feel right. He didn't know how to explain it, but there was a profound feeling of wrongness throughout his entire body. Even the racing of his heart didn't feel normal. He felt safer knowing Elijah was with him. Elijah was with him, with his laptop plugged into the back of his head. How was his laptop plugged into the back of his head? He should have felt sick or dizzy at the realisation that was slowly dawning, but he couldn't feel anything like that.
He closed his eyes as he tried to back to the last thing he remembered. If he could do that, then maybe he could work his way to the present. He remembered the jolt in his shoulder as the bullet struck. The force had almost knocked him off his feet. Warmth had pooled at the joint as blood ran down his arm. Lin had jumped up to stand beside him. He'd raised Lin's hand with his own. They'd kissed. Then he remembered falling. He had no idea what had happened after. Lin! Where's Lin? He couldn't control his mind as it rapidly replayed memories of Lin on a loop.
He's-fine! He's fine! Lin is fine…Try not to think too much. I can see your memories when we're connected like this. Markus' voice remained calm and soothing, though a little sheepish. John's head jerked towards him in horror. Markus looked away bashfully, confirming that he had indeed seen John's most private memories. John couldn't help it. Since Markus had mentioned it, his mind was flicking through every single embarrassing moment he didn't want anyone to see. Markus quickly took over, taking control of his thought processes to close the unwanted files. The loss of control and the sense of violation made his heart stutter again.
"Uncle Eli…" John's vulnerable voice suddenly sounded crystal clear. Far too clear. John clutched his throat. It was like he'd spoken through a speaker with the volume turned up. Elijah turned his attention towards him, his fingers pausing on the keys. "What…am I?" Fear coated his tone and coiled around his spine. Elijah seemed unconcerned as he gave him an assuring smile and ruffled his fluffy blonde locks.
"You're you, John." He made it sound so simple. How could he be himself when he didn't feel like himself? He didn't even know if he looked like himself. He looked down at his free hand and flexed his fingers. It looked like his hand. The skin colour was the same. He could see the same light hair on his arm, and the veins in the back of his hand. It looked the same, but it felt different. Looking at the other hand almost sent him into shock. A small, fearful whimper escaped as he took in the sight of Markus' sleek white hand clutching his own. John's lip trembled as he reached out to touch the smooth plastic. It was just like Lin's hand. Delicate white segments all woven together. The intricate imitation of a human hand. "I mean it…You're still you on the inside." John wasn't sure he could believe that.
He's telling you the truth. You are still John Brown…or Johnathan Wishart, if you prefer. How much do you remember? Markus asked curiously, controlling the file that John automatically tried to open in response. It was painfully obvious that John had no idea what to do. He was still thinking like a human. Obviously. Human brains had a limited capacity, so pulling up a memory was simple. John's mind was different now, and pulling up the memory wouldn't only bring up the smaller details. It would bring up the whole event in detail. It would likely be overwhelming at first. He helped John to unpack the memory, skimming it slowly rather than seeing it in full. So, you have the full event…that's promising. It means your later memories were stored and transferred intact…
"Transferred?" John's throat wouldn't work enough to let him swallow. He didn't know whether it was because it was a pointless function in machines or if he just didn't know how. If his memories had been transferred, then this wasn't his body. It wasn't a case of parts having been changed due to injury. His memories had been moved. Does that mean I'm not thinking with my own brain? If it's not my brain, then I'm not…
Calm down, it's alright. I meant what I said. You are John Brown…Elijah can talk you through the procedure later, but what's important now is that your body was too badly injured to survive. Elijah and Chloe used a new procedure to transfer your conscious mind from your human body to this new one…Your mind wasn't copied. You're the original John Brown. Markus kept his soothing tone as he explained, though John was finding it hard to follow. How could he be the original when it wasn't his brain? How could you turn flesh and blood into a machine? It seemed impossible. But…if there's a single person in the world who could do such a thing, then it would be Uncle Eli…There was some comfort in that thought at least. Markus' expression softened as he watched John shift his gaze to Elijah.
Elijah hadn't taken his eyes off the screen this whole time. He was monitoring everything. John's stress levels, his brain patterns, the alerts about his new systems activating. Both Markus and Elijah were bringing him online and keeping him stable. There were often teething difficulties for new androids. Sometimes that would mean shutting down and starting again, but they couldn't afford for that to happen with John. There was only one of him. They needed to bring him online and make his transition as smooth as possible. Elijah's fingers were flying as he stayed ahead of any errors and fixed them by hand. Any incomplete code that flagged was being patched as he went. He was pleased that things were going as smoothly as they were.
This was the fifth time they'd tried to activate him so far. The last few times he'd almost overloaded himself with the stress of those first few seconds. They'd had no choice but to shut him down before bringing him to full consciousness. They'd learned that activating his senses one by one had been the best decision. He'd been less stimulated, and had time to process the differences in his body. Markus had stepped in to interface as well, taking control when he needed to in order to keep John calm and keep his systems running functionally. He needed to turn on all of John's physical responses. Things like breathing weren't necessary, but John did them out of habit, and felt stressed when he couldn't make them work.
It will feel strange at first, and we'll have to put you to sleep at regular intervals until you get used to it, but you're going to be fine. John nodded at Markus' assurance. It wasn't so bad. He was still scared, and he didn't understand what the messages were or how to respond to them, but he could do it. He could learn to live like this. As long as I'm not alone…His mind wandered back to Lin. He couldn't help it. There was an aching yearning in his chest. He wanted Lin. Markus stroked his hair sympathetically, as he'd noticed Lin do in John's memories. John's blue eyes blinked at him in surprise. Don't worry. As soon as you're stable, we'll wake Lin and bring him to you.
"I think that's as much as he can handle for now…Put him into stasis," Elijah ordered, his fingers still flying across the keys. John felt his chest clench in fear. What did he mean put him in stasis? He looked at Elijah with wide, frightened eyes, his stress level rising at the news. Elijah tried to look assuring, despite still busily patching the code. "It's alright, it won't hurt. It's like sleeping. You'll close your eyes and it will feel like nothing happened. Trust me." John bit his lip nervously. He trusted Elijah. He was his uncle. He'd never hurt him. That didn't stop him from being afraid. What if something went wrong? What if he wasn't turned on again?
It's alright…Just lie back and close your eyes. John followed Markus' gentle encouragement and lowered himself back against the padded table. It reminded him of the workbench in his own workshop. The one Lin had slept on during his first night in the shop. It seemed so long ago now. The memory played with perfect clarity. He remembered the heaving of his lungs as he'd ducked inside the shop and lowered the shutter. He'd checked in with the GT300 about his search for parts and components. He'd spent hours taking Lin apart and cleaning out his sockets, ready for the next day. Lin had looked so handsome, even with all the open damage across the side of his face. His mismatched eyes had been startlingly beautiful, even then. One a deep chocolate brown, and one a deep ocean blue. His voice had been laced with static back then. He'd been so patient as John had poked and prodded him. That's it, just relax…
