The ride in the train was strange, with nobody else there. The two of them rode in silence, Although Remus held Sirius' hand the whole way. Neither knew quite what to say. Sirius supposed he should feel sorry; it was his father that had died, not like the many other funerals that he went to because he was related to nearly everybody in the wizarding world, and in reality was seen more as a social event than what it really was. But he didn't, really.
And there was always The Doubt. He had always been the heir to the Black lineage. But it was never really known whether he was really the son of Saturnine; Angeline had broken a single social code and slept with two different men before marriage—Saturnine Black and the Baron Abignon, of France. After it was found out that he was pregnant, nobody would touch, save for Saturnine, who—because he believed himself in love with her—had convinced himself that the child was his. It was never proven either way, since Sirius grew to look more like his mother with each passing year.
That was the true nature of The Doubt, which always lingered on everybody's mind, Saturnine's more than anybody else. It was Saturnine's inconsistent love for Sirius that drove the two of them farther and farther apart. Saturnine would feel The Doubt tugging at his mind, and get angry, taking his frustration out on Sirius. The next day—the next week or month, even—he might shower affection on Sirius, as if to say he was sorry for ever doubting him. But his parents never gave him the kind of affection that Sirius wanted, and maybe it was simply because they didn't know how, but it was never right. They never spent time with their children, but their money. It wasn't Angeline or Saturnine that comforted a scared child, but spent the money to make sure they got the material object that either wanted.
And so it was, when he got into school, that Sirius began to want not what his parents would give him, but what his friends gave him. He entered school as a spoiled rich kid, and it earned him a slap in the face more than once from Remus and James. But he returned home changed, and grew even more distant from his family. And now, it felt like he didn't even know them. He felt no remorse for a stranger who was now dead, one that had beat him more than was due, and never was able to make up for it, and going to a place full of people who held different morals than him.
The two of them stepped off the train to see an empty platform, save for a single woman. She was dressed from head to toe in black, with her hair pulled tightly behind her head.
"Where's my mother?" Sirius asked her.
"Your mother is in immediate mourning, Mister Black," she said in a stern voice. "She is not to be seen in public until after the funeral. You should know that."
Sirius gave a nod. He had called him "Mister", he noticed. Was this a confirmation that he was, in fact, the owner of the Black estate?
They were led to a black car, and a man—also dressed in black—opened the door for them. As they made their way to Grimmauld Place, Sirius wondered how much of this he could take. All the servants would be dressed in black until at least a week after the funeral, and his mother would be forced into mourning for a year, at the least. Everybody would be coming around, giving their condolences in whispered voices, sneaking around the house when it really wasn't necessary. And of course, the stares, both condescending and overly sympathetic. This would no doubt be Grimmauld Place at it's dreariest.
Upon entering the house, there was a soft meow from his feet, and he looked down to see a white cat twisting itself around his ankles. She the only member of the household who would be just as friendly as ever.
"Hey there, Cocoa," he said, kneeling to scratch the cat's ears as she continued to rub herself on him.
"Cocoa?" Remus asked, skepticism in his voice.
Sirius gave a small smile and stood. "Come on," he said. "Let's escape to my rooms before anybody tries to give me their sympathies."
Up several flights of stairs, and he pulled a set of spider keys out of his pocket. He opened the door and they entered the room, before closing the door again.
Most of the furniture still had the white sheets over them. However, the bed was already uncovered and made, and the naphtha lamps on wall brackets were lit. Sirius also pulled a sheet off a red sofa and a desk in the corner of the room. He cracked the door open again for a moment to dump the sheets into the hallway, and pulled a cord, signaling somebody to come get them.
Remus had taken a seat on the couch, and Sirius plopped down beside him. The werewolf was looking around the room with interest, and Sirius had no doubt that his lover was also testing the air for the smell of him. At last, he seemed satisfied, and allowed Sirius to lean his head on his shoulder. A soft knock sounded on the door, and Sirius resisted the urge to yell in frustration.
"What?" he snapped.
The door opened and his brother stepped into the room.
"I heard you were bringing somebody," he said, just as quietly. "And then I saw your stuff out in the hall, and………" Regulus trailed off uncertainly.
"And?" Sirius said coldly, raising his eyebrow.
Regulus shrugged, flicking his dark hair out of his equally dark eyes. There was a silence, and Regulus scuffed his foot on the hardwood floor.
"I kinda just wanna get outta here," Regulus mumbled.
"Mum would die if she heard you not using proper English," Sirius said, giving a slight smirk.
"Who cares?" Regulus said. "Mum has more important stuff on her mind than if I don't feel like talking proper."
"You're not the only one who doesn't want to be here. For more than one reason."
"Mm……"
After a moment, Regulus turned and left the room again, shutting the door with a soft click. Sirius turned to see Remus studying him carefully. The expression was unreadable. But then, many of them were. He once again, leaned against Remus' shoulder, watching with some degree of fascination at their hands entwined.
Sirius didn't notice that he had dozed off until Remus was giving him a soft shake. He looked at his watch, and was surprised to find it nearly midnight. Without even bothering to get undressed—save for kicking off their shoes—they lay down on his bed and Sirius fell asleep just as suddenly as he did before.
Notes: Hm….second chapter already……I love switching from points of view, so will probably see that a lot in this story ! And no, I don't know what this is leading to yet.
